Bailey Rose, Child Extraordinaire!

I've never claimed to be a subject matter expert on anything in my life. If I were to become an expert at anything, I'd no longer need to do it and therefore, I'd become complacent and forget about it. What I do have is some experience at a lot of things and I try to impart what I have learned onto others as I was always faced with some situation and had no help from anyone. On the other hand, I recently began a role which I have no previous experience and training for, yet everyone has advice for me. I'm referring to becoming a parent for the first time.

My wife and I are both the youngest of three children born in the 1970's. Both of our sets of parents have had some time to become good at parenting and for the most part, I think we turned out well. We both have college educations and for the most part we don't live paycheck to paycheck. I work for a medical device manufacturer outside of Pittsburgh as a Knowledge Specialist and my wife is a private piano instructor with a local university. We have a small three bedroom ranch that is about 40 years old and currently have a mortgage and a car payment. While our finances may not be relevant in regards to our parenting skills, it does give some background as to how we will raise our daughter.

Neither of my parents had a college degree and managed to raise three kids and send them to college, all without financial assistance, on one income. How? They put the needs of their child first. I say needs, not wants. We didn't have cable until I was 10, I wore hand me downs from my brother, and I don't think I drank soda in any regularity until I was 14. My parents saw to it that I had a roof over my head, food on the table, clothes on my back, and an education. We didn't go vacation every year to some exotic location. We went camping at the local campgrounds or at the beach. We didn't go out to the movies or dinner a lot. My mother cooked dinner almost every night. My dad is a member of the Lions Club and on Monday nights when he would be at a meeting; my mother would take the three of us kids to McDonalds. On rare occasions, my dad would go to a local Sports Bar afterwards for a bite to eat and would bring home pizza or breaded shrimp and we would share all share a bottle of Coke. We all enjoyed the time together and didn't go off to separate rooms to be on a computer or talk on a private line. Granted, times have changed. I have all of those luxuries, now. I have internet and cable and a Playstation 3. My wife and I still go out to dinner at least once a week and breakfast on Saturdays. But I've learned how to appreciate all that I have while not lamenting on what I don't because I never had to go without the things I needed. As for the things I want. They'll still be there after I finish paying off a credit card or fixing the car.

As I often do, I've digressed into a story about my upbringing and need to get back to my child's. So, I introduce to you, the one, the only...

Bailey Rose

Born July 5th, 2007, 8:03 AM
6lbs. 8oz. 19 1/2" long

She's a beauty, huh? It's OK to admit it. Of course, I'm biased. When I first saw her, I couldn't think of a more perfect baby. She was breach and had to be delivered by caesarean. Otherwise her due date would have been July 7th, making her birthday, 07-07-07.

As a kid, I'd always assumed that I would one day be a parent. I just didn't know when. At an early age, I had no concept of how old a parent should be. When I was in my teens, I figured I'd be in my early twenties when I got married and started a family. As I approached 20, I realized I was ready for neither. I didn't get married until I was 29 so that put parenting into my 30's. Perhaps I would be finally ready with three decades under my belt. Yeah, right.

You see, you are never ready for parenthood. I found that out the hard way. My wife got pregnant in October which put us smack dab up against the holidays for her first trimester. So, as we're getting the house ready for Christmas, we aren't getting it ready for baby. Afterwards, we tear down everything and try to reassemble some sort of normalcy which puts us into her second trimester. Now, she's starting to feel the effects of being pregnant, and we're rapidly losing time. When we first started discussing things back in November, we had grand plans of being totally prepared come July. The reality is that even though you're having a child, the rest of the world keeps moving and doesn't care. We have a three bedroom house, and until I started working on them, both rooms were pretty much storage. You couldn't walk into either without having to step over boxes. Unfortunately, we haven't really ever caught up to the workload that exists and now it's much worse. When we first bought the house, we gave two of the bedrooms nicknames. One was called the red room because of the blood red carpet and silly Disney wallpaper that had a red border. The other we named the Pooh room because the walls were either painted pink or yellow, reminding of us of Winnie the Pooh. Due to the amount of work required to make the red room suitable for a nursery, we choose the Pooh room instead. About a year before my wife got pregnant, we decided to repaint the walls white which was a blessing because we had a blank slate in which to start. Also, it would be a lot harder for a teenager to sneak out of it since it was directly across from our room and it had no nearby limbs or ledges to climb out and onto the ground.

Probably any good parenting book will tell you when you should start working on the nursery. I knew I had to at least have it done by July, so I wasn't exactly in any rush at Christmas to start working on it. However, I hate painting. I mean, I really hate painting. It's one of those things where I would rather listen to cats screech in my ears than to pick up a brush and start painting. I hate masking. I hate edging. I hate getting paint all over me and I tend to get it all over everything. The hatred aside, I did find it fun to plan out the nursery. Since the little one was shy through all 6 of her sonograms, we had no clue what we were having. We decided to go with a neutral color, so that if we had anymore kids, I wouldn't have to repaint the room a different color......because I hate painting. Did I mention that? We went with a nice sage green which was actually called quaking grass. How do I remember that? Because I kept thinking it was called quacking grass and embarrassed myself asking for a can of it at Lowes. We decided to go with a nice cherry finish because we were happy with our bedroom suit and thought it would look nice. Now, I don't know if it was planned or coincidental but we both agreed on a Winnie the Pooh theme. I wonder because, after all, we called it the Pooh room from day one and here we are planning a nursery around said character. We opted for Classic Pooh instead of the Disney version because we felt it was prettier and not as gaudy. By the end of May, I was done putting in new vent covers and had assembled all the furniture. I even printed out some nice Classic Pooh pictures and we matted and framed them for on the wall. Now all we needed was baby, and for that matter, a name.

For the duration of my wife's pregnancy we were never sure if the little one was a boy or a girl. She kept hiding the goods during the sonogram. The technicians gave us an 85% chance but would never say for certain that it was a girl. It was hard enough trying to come up with one name let alone a backup in case of other gender. Some of the biggest disagreements between me and my wife during her pregnancy came over what name to choose. If it was to be a boy, I wanted something with a little more flare than just Dave, Tom, Bob, etc. I wanted something strong, perhaps Eastern European. My wife on the other hand got stuck on a name that I threw out as a joke, Baxter. I said the kid isn't going to Hogwarts. The whole idea about naming our child was to give it something that wouldn't inspire others to twist it and make fun of it. I have spent the entirety of my life having to either spell or pronounce my last name because it is Czechoslovakian. It is pronounced Push-Car yet it is spelled Puskar, due to the fact that in the Slavic language, the s in my name represents a “sh” sounds. I've had every known variation, some funnier than others. It was bad enough; my child was going to inherit my last name. At least we could give her a break on the first name. After the Baxter fiasco, she moved on to Aidan and Ian. She also went through a phase with the name Ashton. I said flat out no, unless I could give him the middle name resulting in Ashton Martin. She thought I was nuts. So, while she went back to the drawing board, I held out for favorite, Braden. I really wanted to name my son Braden (Brady) Quinn, but the name became famous with the football player. We settled on Braden Michael using my first name as a middle name. If we were indeed having a girl, that was another story. My wife started off with Greenlee, after a character on her soap opera. We then had a spell with Sadie. We both liked the name and wanted to use my Grandmother's name as a middle name, Grace. Once we put it together we nixed the idea since saying her name was like asking for the blessing, "Sadie Grace so we can eat." Then there was Addison, and Abigail. Again, I wanted the middle name on that to be my wife's middle name, Rose. How cool would it be to have a daughter named Abby Rose? I don't remember which one of us actually came up with it, but I liked the name Bailey. Growing up a television junkie I was lumped into a certain category against other guys. You either liked Ginger or Mary Ann from Gilligan's Island. I liked Mary Ann. The same went with WKRP in Cincinnati. You either liked Jennifer (Loni Anderson) or Bailey Quarters (Jan Smithers). While Jennifer was the hot, stereotypical blonde, Bailey was the quiet, shy, brunette, who was easily more naturally attractive. It was also the last name of one of my favorite film character, George Bailey. We had finally settled on a name for our soon to be born child, Bailey Rose Puskar......or Braden Michael Puskar if it was somehow a boy.

Our next priority was making sure the house was ready. The last thing I wanted to do was to be working on something or cleaning the house and have her go into labor. Also, we knew people would be banging down our door to see the baby and help out and we didn't want the house a mess. What I didn't realize was that I would be scrubbing walls and cleaning carpets on the fourth of July. Looking back, we just want to cry. Instead of spending time together alone and just relaxing in a quiet house, we waited until the last minute to get things done and the whirlwind has never stopped. I took the week off after the fourth so that I could be at home with my wife and daughter. I found myself more tired than I had ever possibly been in my life. We didn't sleep for first three days as we were up every two hours to feed her. My wife was so sore and tired that she needed a step stool to get into bed. She fed her during the day but during the night I took over with an oral syringe. Once you fed, put her back down, and tried to go to sleep, it would be time to do it again. The poor thing wouldn't even sleep in her crib. She spent the first two weeks sleeping in her car seat. It just goes to show you that you spend all that time preparing things and you end up improvising on the fly. Eventually, my sister gave us a positioner which allowed us to snuggle Bailey up and make her feel safe.

After things calmed down, it hit me. I was a father. I was responsible for another human being who was totally dependent on me. Poor kid. Actually, as I said before I was totally in love with her the moment I saw her in the delivery room. She just has those eyes. Luckily, she got her eyes from either one of our fathers. We both have brown eyes and hers' are blue or hazel depending on her outfit and surroundings. We still have trouble figuring out who she looks like more because she's we both agree she's way prettier than we are. I like to think that she got the best parts of each of our genes. She's an amazing little thing and she gets more amazing every day.

At two weeks. Her first professional picture.


At seven weeks


At 17 weeks

At 24 weeks

Sometimes I can't help but just stare at her, watching as she figures something out for the first time. My wife and I both agree that as much as we love each other, we really didn't know what love was until Bailey was born. There are times when I'd rather be able to watch television or play a video game then have to attend to her needs but this is what parenthood is all about. My wants are just that wants. They'll be there tomorrow or the day after. My first priority is making sure my child's "needs" are met. Whether it is a dirty diaper or a bottle to be fed, I'm a full service father. Since I am the primary provider when it comes to financial dealings, we've worked out an arrangement where my wife is the night shift during the week and I take over on the weekend. Granted, I get the sweet end of that deal, but it's not without its shortcomings. Where I used to stay up until 2am or 3am on a Friday night, now I want to be in bed by midnight in case something happens. Most people are jealous of my wife because she has a husband that will change a dirty diaper or carry a pink bag around with the car seat. I don't care. It's a badge of honor to be carrying around my daughter and I make sure to show her off as I go by. "Look what I got!" A lot of seasoned parents get really jealous when we answer this question, "Does she sleep at night?" At or around four months, she began sleeping ten hours straight. Now, at eight months, we rarely have to get up at night to console her and she sleeps eleven hours. She's up for a couple of hours and we put her down for a two hour nap. Lather, rinse, repeat. Now, there have been times that she's got up fussing and has not been able to calm down. She started teething around five months and we're still waiting for the little buggers to break through. Still, for all the times she's woken up screaming in the middle of the night. I think I can count on one hand where one of us has had to go in and take care of her in the last 3 months. I'm usually the one who puts her down at night. Simply, because we've structured our evenings where my wife will feed her dinner while I get everything ready for work and fill up the bottles for the next day. Then we give her a bath and get her dressed for bed. Then she plays on the floor, crawling and squawking for maybe an hour while we try to give her a bottle. Then, finally, I take her to her room and just start rocking from side to side. My wife likes to use the glider, but I find it hard to get up from it quietly while holding a sleeping baby. 90% of the time I put her down awake, tuck her in, kiss her goodnight, and leave. She may talk or fuss for a few minutes but she usually goes right to sleep.
We've already established that I am the playmate and my wife is the enforcer. I can see that as she gets into her teenage years, her and her mother will clash over plenty of things and I will get caught in the middle. While I would defend her with my dying breath, I don't think I'd be willing to go against her mother. When she's old enough, I will try to instill in her that I am not an ally when it comes to war with mom. Also, I'd like to be able to teach her a lot of things about life. Maybe try and help her realize at an early age where the pitfalls are and how to capitalize on her youth. At least we can tell her about her time in the womb and birth, in hopes that we can keep her from boys until she's 29. After all, when you have a son, you only have to worry about one boy. When you have a girl, you have to worry about every boy. While, I know I won't be able to answer every question she has, I can tell her that she will make mistakes and that it is all right to do so. In the end, that's the only thing at which I am an expert at. Just ask my wife.

The Barenaked Ladies had limited imaginations

Part Two of a series entitled, If I were a Rich Man

In part one of this series I imparted upon you the many schemes and plots I employed to make my first million by 30. Yeah, that worked out real well, didn't it? So, here we are discussing part two, what I would do if I had those millions. What would I buy? Would I work? The kind of stuff we all think about when we trudge out to our car in the ice storm, make our way to work through treacherous conditions, only to show up at work and find out our boss has decided to stay home because of the weather. As you park your butt in your chair and begin to work you realize that you were meant for more. You work hard and make a decent living, but you can't get over the fact that there are people in this world who seem to squander what they have or just plain use it for the wrong reasons. Checking local news stories it's hard not to notice this fact when you see another Paris Hilton headline or hear about Jack Whittaker....ok, that's a stretch with Jack Whittaker, but I'll get back to him in a bit. First let me spell out how some people would spend a million dollars.

In the late 80's and early 90's, The Barenaked Ladies released and found cult popularity with the song, "If I Had a Million Dollars." It was the kind of song they improvised in their early days as camp counselors at a summer music camp. Ed Robertson would play the tune for campers listing all the things he would buy. The list of items that have appeared in lyrics from later releases cites the following:

• A house (no indication if they are picking up the taxes and insurance, though)
• Furniture for your house in the form of a chesterfield or an ottoman (That's nice, a loveseat and a footstool.)
• A K-Car, a nice Reliant automobile. (I'd check the blue book value first)
• Would build a tree fort in our yard (With the money he could have someone do it, but he opts to let you help him because it wouldn't be that hard.)
• Put a little tiny fridge in there somewhere (Wow....just wow)
• Food already laid out like pre wrapped sausages and things (At least he's hiring a staff.)
• A fur coat, but not a real fur coat that's cruel. (Well, it is. At least he's animal friendly.)
• An exotic pet, like a llama or an emu (This one isn't too bad, but the trendy thing now is an Alpaca)
• John Merrick's remains. (Do they mean John Merrick the golfer...or Joseph Merrick, the elephant man?) In a live version he wants to buy John Davidson's remains....that's incredible.
• Taking a limousine instead of walking to the store (So the K-Car doesn't depreciate as quickly.)
• Kraft Dinner...We don't have to eat it but we would with fancy Dijon ketchups (Apparently eating Kraft Dinner with ketchup is the fancy way to do it.)

One second, I have to clean up.
Someone threw a bunch of macaroni at me.
Ok, done.

• A green dress, but not a real one, again that would be cruel. (The real one is more expensive anyway and we're running out of money.)
• Some art, a Picasso or a Garfunkel (Oh, I get it. Art Garfunkel.)
• A Monkey. Because you've always wanted a monkey. (The cleaning bill is on you, though)
• Your love. (At this point, you must be a cheap date because they're broke.)

At this point they reiterate the statement, "If I had a million dollars" five times arriving at the conclusion that you are not important and that they would be rich.

As much as I love these guys they are a little limited in their imagination. I understand that this is for children and is conceived from their point of view of attainable wealth, but man, I think I could do better. First of all, a million dollars in today's society is no where near enough to be rich. A million dollars, after taxes, would net you around $700,000. So, unless you already have some financial freedom, that money will now dwindle away as we pay off debts. The mortgage, car payments, credit card bills, and all other outstanding debt will all suck up probably a third of that leaving you with a little less than half a million. Now we want to ensure our children's future so we'll set up a fund for them. The average cost for college right now is somewhere between $14,000 and $32,000 a year depending on the institution. My daughter is only 8 months old, so we have 17 years before we are signing these checks. You have to figure on inflation, so figure those prices will be laughable in the year 2025. Perhaps with a good interest rate whatever fund you set up will be able to keep up with inflation come then.

You know what? I'm stopping there. There's no point in trying to figure out what to do with $300,000. That would just be depressing. But, let's explore the evil side of winning the lottery to the tune of $114 million dollars. This is what my previous example, Jack Whittaker, was paid out at. If you didn't go to my little Wikipedia link then let me briefly explain that Jake Whittaker won the Powerball jackpot of $315 million, back in 2002. Now, before his win, Jack's estimated net worth was $17 million, so it's not like he was hurting in the beginning. He was the president of a contracting firm in West Virginia and had even gone to buy the winning ticket while gassing up his Lincoln Navigator. Since his windfall, he has been plagued by legal problems.
Here's a brief summary:
2003

• Arrested for DUI
• Thieves broke into his car making off with a million stolen while he was at a strip club. These same thieves were a part of a plot to kill and rob him.
• Friend of his granddaughter's was found dead of a drug overdose in his home.

2004

• Charged with misdemeanor assault for allegedly threatening a bar owner's life.
• Sued by a woman claiming he was playing grab ass with her.
• Thieves, once again, broke into his car making off with $200,000. This guy needs to stop keeping cash in his car.
• His granddaughter was found dead of an overdose after being reported missing for several weeks.

2005

• Caesars Casino sues Whittaker over $1.5 million dollars in bad checks to cover losses.

2006

• Whittaker claims he is broke, stating that thieves went to 12 different bank branches and cashed checks.

By all accounts, this guy must have rubbed a monkey's paw to win the lottery. Maybe, at least, he's been the inspiration for Hugo “Hurley” Reyes from LOST. From day one he sank into a nightmare world. Not to say that he was all to blame for his problems, but he didn't help it by acting stupidly in a lot of his indiscretions. He, now, wishes he never won the money. Some may say he didn't deserve it because of how he acted. The truth is that we can plan and promise to never let money change us but that is about as realistic as the idea of winning the lottery in the first place. I would like to rewrite that scenario and see if I can do better.

There I am, sitting in my living room watching the news when they announce the Powerball numbers. I hit pause on the DVR and reach into my wallet to find that crumpled ticket worth $5.00 of my pocket money. I check the numbers and recheck them. Then, I check the date on the ticket. Next, I go over to my calendar and check the date on it. Now, I check my pulse. Lastly, I check the number on the television screen, again. I rewind and play hearing the announcer call out each number, making sure some intern in the booth didn't screw up the animation. Tom Cruise on a crutch, I just won the Powerball. What do I do? Should I tell my wife? Should I call my parents? Should I call an accountant? Let's stick the ticket in my pocket and go to bed thinking about my winnings. In the morning I look for my clothes which have now made their way into the laundry. After the first couple heart attacks I find out that my wife, for once, checked my pockets and emptied out the contents.....otherwise I'd own a $114 million dollar washing machine. Once my wife finds out why I nearly coded on the laundry room floor, I make sure she's still breathing and we plan our empire.

The first thing I do is call my work and explain to them that I need to take emergency leave. Let's not go quitting just yet. Although, I choke back the urge to tell my work to bite the big one, I want to maintain a low profile and get all my ducks in a row. I don't want to give up my medical benefits and I want to be able to have a back up plan in case something happens. Next thing I do is sign the ticket and make a photocopy of it. This will give a little insurance against losing the ticket and having some passerby claiming my winnings. I'll get myself a lawyer and start to build a financial team. The last thing I want to do is lose all that money in a year's time. For a good example of how lottery winners have done right by themselves and others check out Brad Duke's story from Fortune Magazine.
Once I have all this in place, it's time to let our families know why we've suddenly gone into seclusion. Of course, what better way to break the news than to invite them all on a beach getaway somewhere warm? I plan on taking care of family and have thought of the various ways to do this. I could say that they all contributed money towards buying the winning ticket. This might entitle them to share in the winnings without having me to give them a cash gift. However, it might not be wise to open everyone up to this kind of headache. A lot of times you see families torn apart by lottery winnings. Some suggest offering an annual gift of the maximum amount without incurring any tax consequences. This is usually $12,000. If I went that rout, I would pay off all their mortgages, outright, allowing the annual gift as one way to help ease their burdens. I would also setup trust funds for all of the children so that school would be taken care of ahead of time. With family out of the way and my team in place, let's go to the next step, me.
The JobWhen the hoopla dies down, I probably would quit my job. I have a lot of evil plans I want to put into place and that would be easier if I wasn't punching a clock everyday. It's not to say that I wouldn't hold down a job. Who knows, I might just take a 9-5 minimum wage job just to have medical benefits. Paying for insurance without an employer would certainly cut into my bottom line and the bottom line is to not lose everything after a year. I would like to set up some sort of foundation that will help people and I would like to donate some to charity. Mostly, I would eventually like to start some business and the winnings will help in the start up.
The HouseI still have a good amount left on my 30 year mortgage, so it's safe to say that's going to be one of the first things to be paid in full. I will have my financial team have an account put into place which will automatically draw on the taxes and interest so that I don't end up like some winners and owe back taxes. I'm not looking to move just yet. Unfortunately, with lottery winnings comes lottery fame and I will, undoubtedly see an increase of knocks on my doors. So, a security system and a posted sign to contact my lawyer will be in place from day one as well. Eventually, I would plan on building some spacious abode, somewhere nice, but until I'm ready to tackle that responsibility, and I allow some investments to grant me some more financial solidarity, my current address will do just fine. That is, with the addition of a nice pool and landscaped backyard. At present, I have a hill that slopes down into three separate, uneven, tiers. It's a pain in the ass to mow, so, we're doing a little work back there. A gazebo and patio will be put into place along with a permanent outdoor grilling venue as I like me a good steak.

When the time comes to build that dream home, I'm not sure where it will be. I have a friend with the same mad cap schemes who says he loved visiting the La Jolla area of Southern California. For years, I was convinced that I would make my home on the Pacific Coast, but the recent rash of mudslides and wild fires makes me think otherwise. My friend thinks I'm a fool for denouncing the dream of California homeownership, citing that this is what insurance is for. Sorry, but insurance won't replace the lives of family and pets that could be potentially lost in a fire that has consumed thousands of acres all because of the Santa Ana winds and some hiker's inability to listen to Smokey the Bear. I might opt for somewhere in the mountain states. I've had a thing for the Jackson Hole, Wyoming are ever since I watched that show on HGTV called Fantasy Open House. It was a home called the Grand Teton Retreat. I can't find a clip or pictures of the original house but here is one that speaks to the idea. That house convinced me that I wanted to live somewhere secluded with beautiful views of mountainous areas. My family has about 40 acres of land near Mount Pleasant where my brother built his house. It would be nice to live up there on the opposite side of the property and a have a paved road that runs through the woods over to his place. It's another of those quirky things I would like to have, a golf cart path that goes through the woods to another place. It could also be useful as a walking or jogging path. Actually, I already have a lot of design ideas picked out. It's a stupid little thing I do at night when I go to bed. Trust me, if you have insomnia, this will put you out quick. Start thinking about what your dream home would look like. Don't concern yourself with budget. Go all out. By the time I reach the kitchen, I am snoozing away. Not to bore you with the details but there are a few must have rooms or buildings.

Home Theater RoomThe room won’t be complete without leather recliners and couches for viewing a state of the art system. I haven't decided on whether to do the Plasma or Projector. I think projector because of the size of the room. Two pocket doors will separate this room from the main game room. A pool table and a wet bar will be essential. I've always wanted a big aquarium set behind the bar in the wall with cabinets around it for the glasses and bottles. When you walk by the other side of the wall you can see through to the bar. Of course, being that this is a game room, we need games. I would fill it with a collection of my favorite coin operated arcade games. Someone has taken this idea to the extreme and I love the guy for it. It makes me think that with enough money and free time I'd rather have his style of setup. It's called Luna City Arcade and it's this guy's private home arcade.
Detached Garage / Display RoomOne of my previous entries detailed my love of a VW Bug. I spoke briefly about having a show room for my collection of cars. Mostly, to display cars from movies I love and to weird display my taste in automobiles. I have no real expertise in cars or anything. I would just like a place to show off the odd ones I would like to collect and maybe drive once in a while. Nothing fancy like Ferrari's or Porsche's. Hell, how fancy is a 2006 Subaru Baja? It’s just what I like.
Room Above the GarageJust because I won the lottery, doesn't mean I will stop having to do the things I do now, namely store and retrieve boxes of decorations or personal items from the attic. I have a solution to this. As part of the design of the house I want an integral three bay garage. Above this will be what some consider a project room. I call it storage. There will be two entrances into this room. One will be from the second floor just past the stairs. For aesthetics I may decide to make it a hidden room as to not have a visible entrance that will be at least two doors wide. The other entrance will be from the garage with a motorized lift. That way, I can move items to and from the ground floor without having to kill myself or destroy the house lugging stuff up the stairs. I can take all the totes or items that need to be put away and simply pack them onto the lift and away we go into the attic and then they can be dispersed accordingly. Call me crazy but I hate having to lug one tote at a time up the stairs to the attic and from the first floor, it's even worse. Winning the lottery is about making life easier. Might as well capitalize on that idea and build accordingly.

The Job
As much as I would like to just retire early and live my life travelling and sleeping in until noon, I think I would still work. In my current job, I pretty much sit in a cubicle on a computer, that would change. Sitting on my ass all day has done wonders for my metabolism and it's a lot harder to maintain a healthy weight because of it. Now, my previous job, for all its headaches, wasn't bad. I worked in a banquet department at a hotel. I could see going back into doing that. For those of you I haven't lost by now, this is probably what will drive you away screaming. "MY GOD! He just won the lottery and he wants to work for minimum wage in a hotel?!?!" Well, yeah. Sure, pay me minimum wage and leave me alone. One of my functions at the hotel was to set up rooms for meetings and banquet events. I would roll out tables and set up chairs, put on table cloths, set up coffee stations, put out water pitchers, and set up A/V equipment for the events. It was a quiet job that allowed me to just work and not have any distractions. I had a radio going in the background and I just worked. I didn't have customers buzzing in my ear on the telephone every five seconds. I didn't have a boss that micro managed over me. I just went into the office, grabbed the contracts for the week and planned out the rooms with paper and pencil. It gave me a lot of time to reflect and think.

The Future
At some point I will be faced with a million people with their hands outstretched looking for some kind of help. I'm not a very religious person but will probably give some to a worthwhile church that has plans to or currently has programs in place to help the community. I always wanted to be an actor or make movies; maybe I can buy my way into Hollywood. It sounds very idealistic but I would like to set up some sort of foundation that will appeal to the richest 1% of the world to help fund it. This foundation will be tasked with solving problems that still plague our world whether it is hunger or the homeless. We could seek out groups based on their research and offer grants to help them achieve their goals and ultimately the goals of the world. Of course, all this would be setup with people who are trustworthy and go through an extensive screening process to manage the money. I don't want some putz embezzling my investment or stealing from me. Checks and balances will be put into place to ensure that no one person or financial institution has complete control over the assets. A lot of people who suddenly come into wealth lose all of it because of shady people on their staff stealing from them.
In the past few years we've seen a lot of underhandedness in business. I don't think I could have ever been a business major because of what I've seen first hand in my own life. I don't have the killer instinct that people have when it comes to buying a business and stripping it of its employees to make it more profitable. I've gone through the process of being in a company that was bought and the worst part is knowing that the same people who are ensuring you that your job will be safe are the same people who just made millions from the deal and are ready to deploy their golden parachutes. I don't want winning the lottery to change who I am, but I do want it to help me become a better person. I'm sure that it is naive to think that I won't change. Money definitely has the ability to corrupt anyone. I would hope that I can put into place a circuit breaker that will protect me from the biggest of all pitfalls, me. I've read the stories about famous celebrities and sports figures that are now broke wonder, "Did they get caught in the hype? Did they think like I did? Is it truly possible to beat the odds and come out ahead?" I can only hope that I have been given enough of a grounded base by my family so that if I ever did win that big ole jackpot, I can share with them the opportunity to have financial freedom. Sometimes, I think it's more for them then me. Until then, I'll keep trucking along, giving a
little donation to the lottery every now and then, but first, I better get some work done, just because the boss is out of the office, doesn't mean I am.

Still want to win the lottery? Check out this story, 8 Lottery winners who lost their millions

Feel free to post comments sharing your blue sky ideas for spending your millions or admonish my greed at wanting to make it big on the ball drawing.

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start!

Part Two of a Series entitled All Your Free Time Are Belong To Us

Those of you who have ever owned a Nintendo Entertainment System have those directions burned into your memory. It's, of course, the Konami code. Originally used to get power ups when entered during a paused game of Gradius, it gained popularity with the game Contra, granting 30 extra lives if inputed before the start up screen. This was necessary, as the game was damn near impossible to beat with the allotted 3 lives and 10 continues granted out of the box. Since then, the code has appeared in numerous video games and has become part of the pop culture lexicon. To this day, I recite this directional mantra as an inside joke whenever I want or need more power or time to do something. "Sure, I can carry all those groceries, honey. Let me just input the Konami Code and I'll magically have the strength of 10 men."

As much as I have loved video games all life, I've never been on the cutting edge or frontline when it comes to new technology. Preferably, I tend to hang back for awhile until the prices come down and the bugs get fixed. The obsession never supercedes the need to be frugal. More often than not I have come into possesion of a game or system well after it was been surpassed by it's replacement. Case in point, the NES. As early as 1985 units were beginning to pop up in households signaling the end of the drought brought on by the Video Game Crash of 1983. While my friends got on board with the new 8-bit technology, I still fiddled with my Sears branded Atari 2600 system. Additionaly, I had begun getting into the home computer video game craze which seemed to promise better graphics and I could get games cheaper due to the ability to copy the game to a blank disk.

Eventually, I got on board around 1988. A friend of mine decided to sell his NES after only owning it for a year. He had the Basic Set which did not include a game but did include the Official Player's guide which detailed every game up until that point. He sold it to me for a $100 and threw in Marble Madness as well. Soon, I was off to my local video store to rent games. As with my Atari, I traded games with friends and can fondly remember being thrilled with the ability to enter in passwords and play saved game states or get power ups. I suspect that the passwords merely retreived data from the game code in the form of letter or number characters that manipulated score and progress in the game and not really a true saved game. Later games came with a battery that allowed for actual saving of progress and not just restoring the game to some state dictated by turning certain "switches" as it were. I could be wrong. During lunches in junior high, my friends and I would gather around the latest copy of Nintendo Power which got passed around like a Playboy stolen from the private stash of someone's dad. We fought for an unobstructed view of this sacred tome which gave us tips and tricks on how to defeat Mother Brain and Ganon. Foldouts containing detailed screenshots of each level showed us where the elusive green mushrooms hid as well as which candle we should avoid as to not lose our boomerang in favor of a stupid stopwatch. We'd feverishly scribble down passwords anticipating the moment the school week would be over and we could lock ourselves in our rooms with a case of New York Seltzer or Snapple Iced Tea and game away the weekend trying out The Amazon's Pirahna Bite which while kicked major ass would eventually be taken away from you.

The quality of the writing in games left a little to be desired as most were guilty of horrible Engrish. No, I didn't spell English wrong, I really meant Engrish. The most famous being the origin of this title of this blog series, "All your base are belong to us," from Zero Wing. Still, other games like Pro Wrestling provided thrashing of the english language with the phrase "A winner is you." Sometimes the best games were ones that had no dialogue at all, allowing only for side scrolling action. The controllers had a second action button which added to a learning curve for those of us used to the old days of the Orange Button. Eventually, I came into posession of a NES max controller that allowed me the advantage playing against friends as I had access to a turbo button.

I never got into the other controllers. Some of my friends would unleash an arsenal of gear when they would have others over for gaming sessions. There was, of course, the light zapper for Hogan's Alley and Duck Hunt. Since my NES did not come with Duck Hunt, I never had a zapper. At the launch of the NES there was the ill fated, R.O.B. This little robot that helped sell the console in North America never got its due with only two games specifically made to use it. Another popular controller was the NES Advantage or as I called it the BAJ (Big Ass Joystick). It allowed you to slow down game play with a feature that essentially toggled the start button rapidly, pausing the game intermittently. Dragging around and storing of the Advantage was difficult with the size of this beast. And let us not forget, the Power Glove. This thing looked like some kind of kinky toy better suited in the bedroom than the game room. It made an appearnce in that awful movie with Fred Savage called The Wizard. None of my friends ever owned this contraption, although one did own the Power Pad, which was a plastic floor mat with sensors in it for use in athletic type games. While I'm sure the intent was meant to get kids off the couch and do some exercise while playing video games, most kids found it easier to lay on the floor, pounding the buttons with our hands instead.

As with the Atari, the NES waned in popularity after a few years in favor of burgeoning advances in new technology. While still found in my collection of systems, the console has been collecting dust and I only play some titles through Nesticle, an NES emulator. That's not to say that the NES became completely devoid of replayability once the fourth and fifth generation consoles emerged. College provided a much needed revival of the system as my dorm floormates and I would engage in Tecmo Super Bowl Tournaments lasting for days on end. That is, until we acquired a Sega Genesis by illegal means and then it was NHL 94 24/7. We liked the game but were severly disgruntled by the fact that the blood and gore of fighting had been removed. Still, we could make heads bleed, which was good. We would get drunk on Mad Dog, declare in a pre Vince Vaughn, "Swingers" tone, "Wait I'm gonna do my thing with the thing," and just maul each everyone to death with Bob Probert. I look back on those days as a simpler time when gaming wasn't a way of life but a mindless distraction. I could wax nostaglic about it for hours on end, but I have to be off now, it appears my Princess is in another castle.


My Top 20 Best and 5 Worst NES games. (And before you flame, I've never played Final Fantasy, so I have no point of reference.)

Best

1. Metroid
2. The Legend of Zelda Great game, check out this old school commercial
3. Castlevania II Simon's Quest
4. Castlevania III Dracula's Curse
5. Golgo 13
6. Tecmo Super Bowl
7. Mike Tyson's Punch Out Before Tyson was replaced.
8. Double Dribble Just what the hell was that mascot for LA supposed to be?
9. Blades of Steel
10. Ninja Gaiden
11. Goonies II
12. Double Dragon II The Revenge Much better port of the original Double Dragon.
13. Contra
14. Metal Gear
15. Tetris Highly addictive game
16. Kid Icarus
17. Mega Man 2
18. Pro Wrestling
19. Major League Baseball
20. Wizards and Warriors

Worst

1. Deadly Towers The fact that you randomly changed position on each start was annoying enough.
2. Total Recall Had about as much to do with Arnold's movie as Arnold's movie, The Running Man had to do with King's (Bachman's) book.
3. Legacy of the Wizard I have no idea what this game was about or what the family pet was.
4. Rygar The length of this game just frustrated me.
5. Battle of Olympus Dumb clone of Zelda II, frustrating as well.

Honorable Mentions

1. Super Mario 3
2. RC Pro Am
3. Faxandadu
4. Friday the 13th One of those few games that made you jump. It was scarier than most of the movies.
5. Star Wars