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Friday, March 2, 2012

WUMF: February 2012 Edition

Weight and See
A couple years back I made this commitment to losing some weight. And when I say some I mean 80 lbs. I managed to get 20 out of the way in a couple of months and then the Winter set in and the holidays and the sleepiness and… Yeah, I failed, miserably.

Not only did I gain that 20 lbs. back I added another ten last year. So, I got a shaming from my doctor and my pants screamed at me when I would put them on, “Why?!?!? Why do you try? You know it won’t end well! The button’s going to go and someone is going to lose an eye.”  Still, the holidays came and I was a bad, bad donkey to quote my favorite King Prawn.

But I saw a picture of me from 1996, when I was 177 lbs. Sickly, but svelte. I was suffering through a three month bout with walking pneumonia while working at Cedar Point and I weighed less than I did in high school. That made me a little sad. Then, I started to notice that my daughter was drawing all these pictures of her family and I took up most of the page. That made me really sad.

Now, it’s not that I have any grand schemes to be 177 lbs., but I do plan on hitting that 200 lb. goal. I think what will make it better is that I started this in the late Winter, so the chance for exercise will be better as the weather gets warmer.

Oscar Night 2012
I was sick over the weekend. I think more so because of the antibiotics I was taking. I remember being on something like them when I had that bout with walking pneumonia I mentioned above. I managed to watch an hour and a half before crashing for some much needed sleep to help with the sickness. I DVR’d them and plan on watching them, just because.

Yeah, I already know who won and that doesn’t bother me. I’ve gotten a little disenchanted with the Oscars, anymore. The rules regarding best picture is a little bit like the rules over hits in the NFL. Can we just stick to five? How about this, the top five pictures that earned over 5% of first-places votes. This crap about anywhere between 5 and ten was stupid. Take all the votes and pick the top five based on percentage. If there is a tie, then include it. We’re rewarding campaign strategies, not films.

Was Moneyball really THAT great of a film compared to The Help or The Artist? Midnight in Paris?

Not to mention, how about The Muppets snagging a best song? I loved it. However, they had a 50/50 chance of winning against Rio? Rio? Best song is quickly becoming a category that is either neglected or well represented anymore. It’s like hit or miss each year with nominees. Looking back it’s been; 2, 4, 5, 3, 5, 5, 3. Somebody call Sting or Bruce or Bryan Adams and get that shit fixed.

As far as hosting goes, I think Billy Crystal was in Oscar mode. It was a return to the good hosting that has been missing since… well, probably the last time Billy hosted. And why did the Sammy Davis Jr. bit draw criticism? Because The Help was a multiple nominated movie? Billy Crystal has been doing the Sammy impression for years and considering the context of the scene, it was the only Billy impression usable.

And can we please deport Sacha Baron Cohen?  His shit isn't funny anymore.  I don't know if it ever was.   Showing up on the red carpet as The Dictator from his movie... The Dictator holding an urn with the supposed ashes of Kim Jong Il.  Did we not see how that was going down before he even spoke?  That joke was is decades old. 

“Who’s XXXXXX?” Twitter trends
Again, The youth of America need to have their Twitter accounts taken away from them until they start to actually learn something about life. During the Grammy’s it was “Who’s Paul McCartney?” and that got my blood boiling. During the Oscars it happened again, and this time those damn kids need to smarten up.

“Who is Billy Crystal?” Come on, half of you in the 18-24 crowd should recognize him as Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc. You are the Pixar generation. If you don’t, go back and watch Monsters, Inc., The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, City Slickers, Analyze This, and Running Scared (1986, not 200X) and find out what Soap is. I don’t want to burden you with the other stuff.

Come to think of it, perhaps this is a meme and people think it’s cool to not know anything. I wonder if kids asked Siri who these people were? Siri should slap them. Really.

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