Get Your Old Layout Back, Unlimited Energy, Answers To Meaning Of Life, And Who Killed Kennedy

Anyone who hangs around Facebook long enough will start to see a lot of changes being made to the layout of the homepage.   It sucks and for every layout change there is a ton of groups that get started to protest it.   That'll teach them at FB Corporate.   "OMG (Internet slang quota per post reached), the loyal subjects are rising up with pitchforks to use harsh language on us."

If you haven't figured it out.   THEY DON'T CARE!   But what we care about is sticking it to the man and changing things back to that last level of sucktitude.   Meaning, we bitched about the last change and now they've changed it again but we want the last change back which we bitched abo.....do you see where I'm going with this?  

Ok, that all being said, there are a number of pages coming down the pipeline touting that they can make your whites whiter, your brights brighter and return your previously crappy layout to its original state.   Guess what?   They're scamming you.   Basically, what they want you to do is to go through and suggest their page to your friends who will then join out of disgust for the new layout and do the same.   Next thing you know, you are on a list to be blasted with advertisments or maybe even worse.  

Take it from me.  Don't buy into these scammers.  Why?   Well, for one, what group requires you to invite all your friends in order to make something happen?   Secondly, why do they misspell words, change the lettering or add different characters, such as a c with a hook on the end of it like this one...  Chances are if you can't see that one it is because it was pulled for being scamworthy.

Secondly, the same trick is being used to trick people into beliving that you can increase your Mafia Wars stats, your Farmville coinage, or any other Facebook game that takes a lot of time to play.  

So, please, a word to the wise, don't let these a-holes think they can promise you anything by inviting all your friends.  Now, pass this post to all your friends and tell them the wonders of Mongo Inc. Products and my wonderful moneymaking schem....venture.

Worst Facebook Friend Ever

This is an open apology to all my friends on Facebook. I admit that our friendship has not always been one of reciprocation. For the most part I like being a part of the fb community and try to hold up my end of the bargain but alas I am not. I can try to blame it all on my work. Not the work I do but the place where I do it. We aren’t allowed cool things like fb or YouTube and just the mere mention of a lottery number or fantasy football site sends the huge Websense page flashing across our screen like we are a huge scumbag that is looking at porn. We’re not, Big Brother. But to say that I don’t have time at home to catch up is also a lie because as my wife often puts it, I am married to my laptop and my wife and daughter are just unused icons on the desktop of my life. I know that’s not true and for the life of me I can’t justify that I am actually doing work, that is part of a job, while I am propped up in my recliner with butt perfectly aligned with the worn indentation of said chair. But let’s get to the mea culpas.You send me plants for my L’il Green Patch and I eventually get around to accepting them and for that I am sorry as much to you as the rainforest. You offer me wire taps and punching bags to further my ascension to Mafia King and what do I do? Send you another stupid nine of diamonds. You offer me tons of cool gifts for my pad and they eventually get plopped on a counter somewhere but all I can do is nail you with a water balloon and that happens ever so rarely, anymore. I thank you for the duck, sheep, goat, and even that elephant that is on my farm but I apologize for not chasing the foxes away and for sending you yet another red gazing ball which makes six you’ve received from me this week. You poke and poke and poke me over and over and I don’t even acknowledge that sheep you threw. I like it, it’s soft, and this one isn’t lost like the one you asked me for help with on your farm.

You’ve probably been wondering why I haven’t joined your causes and groups and all I can say is that I still have 36 gifts to accept from Willy’s Sweet Shop. I really am a supporter of sleeping, the dislike button, and things that begin with the letter Zed but I just haven’t been able to think a fifth favorite cereal and candy bar that I like for my top five list. I promise I’ll get to them right after I try and figure out which cartoon character is which in this quiz I forgot to take.

I am really sorry that you all got hit with a bug last year after one of my other friends get hit with an email virus which sent me a message like something to me in the vein of “You always did look good naked.” I accidentally opened it because knowing them, this would have been funny. It wasn’t and everyone on my friends list got nailed and my computer was screwed up most of December. I swear it won’t happen again.

And I also apologize for bombarding you with these stupid blog posts, my shirt designs, and links from consumerist and YouTube. You are actually sending me quality gifts for my restaurant, mafia, island, castle, mob, amusement park, flair board, green patch, aquarium, YoVille pad, sweet shop, Farkle game and various farms. I guess I am a horrible friend. Good thing you have lots of them to balance me out. Thanks for being there. Here’s to good friends. If I could send you all a gift or poke or whatever I would but fb seems to only let me choose so many and I always forget who I missed the first time around. How about I promise to like everything you say on your status update? Deal? Ok. Good. I’m glad we had this chat. I only wish we could have done it on fb but I always seem to be offline.