2013 D-Bag Awards Round One: Congress vs. Healthcare Companies

Oh, boy, the hot button issue.  Here we go!

Healthcare Companies vs. Congress

I’ve been dreading this match up simply because of the nature of the topic.   This country has been so divided by this debate that it has become a huge rift in a lot of lives.

Here’s what we have.

The Affordable Care Act has been put into law.  It was signed after being approved by whatever votes were needed in both parts of congress.  It was tried and upheld by the Supreme Court of the United States of America.  It has had numerous issues in taking effect.  Yet, it is no different than anything else we’ve talked about.   EA, which is in the business of being ready to launch video games did not have enough servers ready to handled the demand of Sim City’s launch.   Sony, who has had three iterations of their console, the Playstation, come out over the last 20 years still had broken units shipped and numerous flaws.   So, the fact that a website for healthcare.gov did not work as perfectly as intended on day one of the availability for signing up should be of no surprise.  The bigger problem is if it doesn’t work when the last day of signing up comes and goes.  And to that we have seen numerous successes of the law taking place.  But, we love to hate more than we love to change.   We also love to bash more than we love to fix.   We would rather complain about it.

But here’s what people don’t realize:

Yes, the promises that we could keep our insurance if we wanted it were a little bit much.  Then again, the government shouldn’t promise something that the healthcare companies would ultimately destroy because they are the ones losing money on this deal.  So, it stands to reason they will do everything in their power to retain their profits vs. actually helping people.  Oh, you can’t keep your doctor?  Why?  Because Obama said you can’t?   The healthcare companies have been passive aggressive in their placing of blame.  Of course, they are the victim in all of this.  Why, the biggest healthcare company in the state of PA is claiming it should be tax exempt because it has no employees?  The same company that said its employees could not smoke during at all during their work day, even on their lunches or breaks.  So, either they have employees or they just have people milling about.  Which is it?

You cannot possibly please all of the people all of the time.  It’s the production triangle.  You have tree sides, Quality, Time, and Cost.  You are only allowed to pick two.   If these things could have please every single person, then someone would have found something to bitch about, just because they don’t like it.  And that leads me into the next candidate, Congress.

This year, more than any other we have seen a divided country, not just in constituency, but in leadership.  We went into the year with the looming debt ceiling and sequester.   Instead of fixing problems, they blamed each other.  As the deadline for the ACA and the budgetary crisis loomed, both sides became so pissy with each other that it looked more like a bad case of we don’t like who we picked for kickball than anything else.  Eventually, we had a government shutdown that lasted about two weeks.  In all, the country hemorrhaged more than it saved and cause more discourse among a society, already easily influenced by fear mongering at the hands of those supposed to help us.  The wire tapping scandals continued under their blessing and still there was issues.   Republican vs. Democrat  and Libertarian vs. everybody.  What really makes me nuts is that if Libertarians were so sure their way was best, they’d understand why it isn’t.  You cannot expect a country to simply stop hating one another because you think it’s the best choice.  Yeah, we understand that it’s not, but you cannot cork the bottle of stupidity with more stupidity.   You’re going to have to look at the entire field and figure out how to make what we already have work before you can change it into something better.   You cannot ask for a different hand in this card game no matter how much you think you can win with your own ideas.   If everyone adopted a more broad solution culled from the best parts of everybody’s ideology we could probably get something done.

So, to that the winner of this match is: Congress.   

I would give you all the reasons why, but I have to go on recess for a million months instead of actually doing my job.

By God, I have had this Congress

It's day whatever of the shutdown.
We the people are tired of their crap!

Hey, Mayor, Leave Those Cokes Alone

Have we gone off the rails as a society?   Probably.  Do we really need THAT much government watching out for us at all times?  Probably not.  Should the Mayor of New York City be allowed to ban the sale of sweetened drinks in theaters, street carts, and fast food chains?  HELL NO!

Now, ask me how I feel about sin tax on cigarettes?  Don’t really care.  Why?  It’s stupid.  Smoking is stupid, drinking that much soda is stupid, taxing more on things that are a detriment to our health is stupid.   But, guess what?  It’s our right to be stupid.  You  don’t see them taxing more on fracking, do ya?  Industry polluting the air?  Noooo.

OK, soap box away.  Here’s why I think Bloomberg is a little off base with this soda thing.    One, he wants to ban Super Sizing Sweetened teas.  OK. Go ahead.  You know what’s free to us as consumers?  Sweetener.  Yeah, go into a fast food place or a movie theater and they have sugar in little packets.   We could fry our pancreas all we want with complimentary packs of sugar.

Two, as far as say a fast food restaurant is concerned, have you noticed the trend on free refills for fountain sodas?   Well, in the great state of PA, or more to the point, SWPA,  most fast food places have the soda fountain located where the napkins and ketchup are.   So… buy a small Moutain Dew and refill it 20 times.  SHOW THE MAN WHO HE’S MESSING WITH, NOW!

And for those stores that do now have the fountain on the customer side of the business, Wendy’s and Long John Silver’s mostly allow free refills if you are dining inside and bring your cup back.

Actually, the plan would be to limit sugary drinks to a 16 oz cup that could be refilled at will. It still does not solve the problem.

What’s next, limits on how many cases you can buy in the grocery store?  Easily beaten, though a pain in the ass.

So… what exactly is Bloomberg doing?  Wasting tax payer money on something that is easily subverted.

What should he be doing?  What does it matter?  With cigarettes and other vices, you will never be able to stop things from happening.   The industries are way too big and as a society, we are just way too hooked.   Denis Leary said it best.  (Very NSFW)

Listen, we know we do bad things.  We know that cigarettes, sugar, HFCS, drugs, and other shit are bad for us.  We just don’t care!   Remember Prohibition?  How well did that go for you?  Well, 13 years was a long time, but I don’t think the whole nation was dry and sober all 13 years.  Banning legal things only makes them illegal.  You can still get them if you want.

Here We Call It A Pop Tax, Ya Jagoffs

I am no picture of perfect health. I weigh more than I should. I do not get enough exercise. I do not get enough sleep at night. I am your typical office worker and your typical out of shape American. But, I am also a pseudo Pittsburgher. That could be a bad label. Look, I was born in Southwestern Pennsylvania, grew up to bleed black and gold and even liked the Pirates until the mid 90s. I went to school at the cities namesake University and still love the area and would love to have more interaction with the burgh. But, I do not live or work in Allegheny County. That’s why I call myself pseudo Pittsburgher. So, even though my zip doesn’t run through the streets of The Golden Triangle I feel as much connection to the city as the next Yinzer.

That is why I am so utterly peeved that the mayor is trying to implement the soda tax. First off, it’s pop, you jagoff. The only soda around here comes with the either the word ‘club’ in front of it or ‘bread’ behind it. Secondly, how bad is that budget if you have to come at us from all sides? A few years ago you instituted a drink tax, or should I say Dan Onorato did and you know he’s keeping his mouth shut right now because he’s running for governor. That was supposed to help the Port Authority System by adding 10% tax to alcoholic beverages sold in Allegheny County. The argument was either this tax or raised property taxes.

The bitterness of this tax has been stuck in the craw of Burghers for a few years now and then when the mayor tried to redirect some of the overflowing funds, collected from said tax, towards the city’s pension fund which is anemic at best. But he was given the dolphin on that one and after roughing it out at Seven Springs during Snowmageddon he came up with a new plan. Well, I should say he “borrowed” a plan from the mayor of Philadelphia. Listen, if you want to start looking at other cities for best practices on how to run yours I’m all for it, but Philadelphia? This is a town that should consider changing its motto to “Philadelphia: Come for the crack!” The one in the liberty bell? Nevermind.

So, here’s how, I imagine, the meeting went down. The mayor is sitting there fragging his frat buddies in a Halo 3 deathmatch and after his ninth Diet Pepsi he has the greatest idea. “How about a soda tax to help the pension fund?” As everyone around the room sat there and wondered what the hell a soda was he clarified. “You know, sugar in pop? High Fructose Corn Syrup? The stuff that makes you fat…” as he chugs his 10th or 11th Diet Pepsi. Let’s add a tax on the sale of sugary drinks and reap the benefits.

“But why?” One of the meeting attendees asked. The mayor grabbed his nerf basketball and made jump shots into the waste basket with the little suction cup net above it. “Because the city is fat. Too fat. I’ve got three city projects going on to fill the potholes from the snow we had and I suspect that the fat people contributed to the holes as much as the snow. Also, I know I told everyone I couldn’t enjoy going to Steelers games because of the press but really it was just that I kept getting elbowed by fat people next to me. Maybe if we tax the hell out of sugary drinks we can get some of them to lose weight.” The idea of the soda tax is to collect the revenue on sugary drinks at $0.02 an ounce and then use the funds to bail out the pension fund. But it’s in our own best interest to lose the weight, right?

No, it’s not. Look, if you propose a tax, a sin tax, as it were to curb sinful or risk behavior, how do call it successful? Does everyone stop drinking sugary drinks or do you have a fully funded pension plan. I don’t think we even need to vote for the right answer to that one. Now, it’s not that I have a problem with a sin tax per se. I am not a smoker and when the whole smoking ban and higher taxes on cigarettes happened I didn’t care. Sorry. I didn’t. But I also don’t drink regular pop or soda, in this case. Yes, my body is saccharine. According to a friend, the saccharine in my Diet Pepsi is turning to plastic and binding to my nerves and will never leave my body. If that’s true I should look like Heidi Montag in a coupld of years. And yes, studies show that drinking diet sodas are more harmful because of the emptiness you feel, prompting you to eat more. And the rationalization of “Hey, I’m drinking diet. I can drink as many as I want” is questionable. To that I also admit I do drink 64 ounces of water a day, but that’s just for the Prozac and Viagara added in at the treatment plant.

My big issue here is when government, local or federal, institutes some tax that is supposed to be health conscious and all it really does is get more money to pay off something that shouldn’t have been a problem in the first place. Here’s my suggestions on the whole scenario.

If you think that we, as consenting adults, cannot make healthy decisions about diet or any other thing that someone considers bad for us, then make it go away. Cigarettes. Take them out of the store. Beer. Get rid of it. Jolt Cola and Sugar Shock Soda and Five Hour Makes-Me-Fart-But-I’m-Awake-To-Hear-It-At-2:30-In-The-Afternoon Energy Drinks. Shit can them. If you truly think we need outlet covers plugged into the receptacles of vice in our lives then treat us like infants and put the good stuff on higher shelves.


OR


Balance Your ‘Effing Budget Better.


Which sounds like a better idea? I’ll take a seat right here and call Dominoes for a Big Ass Pie, two liter of Mountain Dew Code Red, and a pack of unfiltered Marlboro Reds while you to think about it. Jagoffs.

GM Execs Way Underpaid According To Man Who Wipes Own Butt With $100 Bills

Oh, Bob. How funny you can be at a time like this. According to Mr. Lutz who is/was/is GM’s Vice Chairman, the top 25 executives at GM are ‘way’ underpaid. Really? Now, I would have expected this kind of announcement to come from the union who represents the factory worker or someone who helps build the cars. However, this comes from the people that ran the company into the ground, flew a private jet to Washington D.C., to beg for government money, and now expects to come out of Chapter 11 with the same perks that helped get them into this mess in the first place.

Lutz talks of talent retention and the ability to keep executives at the company. Well, guess what? Your executives can leave and go work for another company and get six figures. The folks you screwed over may not be able to just say, “Eh, screw it. I’ll go work for another company.”

According to The Consumerist,

GM has hired a new chief financial officer, Chris Liddell, who will be paid in $750,000 plus stock awards. Special adviser Steve Girsky is being paid $1.1 million for sitting on GM's board of directors and for advising Whitacre. His pay includes $200,000 a year as a director and a monthly grant of salary stock valued at $75,000, or $900,000 a year.

Wow, that seems like a real hardship. It’s a wonder you haven’t foreclosed on your homes and been forced to work as a greeter at Walmart. I mean, how do you make ends meet? Want to know a little secret? We’re doing it. Us little jerks who have to budget and scrimp and save and wait for the layoff axe to swing towards us are doing what we can and we’re dealing with it. We are taking advantage of what resources we have to get by and you guys claim you’re underpaid. Do you think you’re owed anything? You built the Aztec! Seems like karmic justice to me.

You know what really burns me on all this is that we continue to bail out these too big to fail companies and they think it’s ok to just keep doing business like nothing happened. Talk about billing it forward. How do you ever expect to be respected as a corporation ever again? Are you guys living in a fantasy? How’s the magic beans there? Because pretty much that’s what you idiots are doing, buying magic beans by continually paying these huge salaries while turning over ownership to the government.

Once upon a time, I could look for an internal job posting and see a job grade attached that posting. However, that went away. You want to know why? Because someone very smart and possibly very evil said, “A job here is about the opportunity, not the pay.” If I worked for GM and said that to an executive, who complained about their pay, I’d be fired. And it’s not even like Lutz said, “Well, they aren’t being paid what they should be according to their talents and responsibilities.” No, he used the words, ‘Way, Way, Way, Underpaid.’ That probably means a comma for every ‘way’ he mentions.

If you are in a position to be a part of the rebuilding of one of the most well known American companies I think you should be compensated accordingly, if, IF, you can produce the turnaround we expect you to. That means, for awhile you may be paid the same as some low level executive for a company out of Cleveland. Then, after all is said and done and you end up walking on water and help the company become profitable, sustainable, and respectable, then I say let’s give you a little something, something for the effort. To think that from day one you are entitled to any HUGE bonus for a company that is emerging from bankruptcy is simply insane. If that’s why you went to work for GM or any other troubled asset recipient company then you should walk into a board meeting and a 30 year veteran assembler should be able to push a button causing you to drop straight into the incinerator.


Dude, the AZTEC!

 
 
 
 
 
 

Fill Your Lungs With Thought

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Blame this on a carb heavy lunch of fettuccini alfredo

It takes a moment to breathe and a lifetime to exhale. Sometimes you wonder if it will ever be enough to just exist in the space between disasters. We pride ourselves on our ability to organize and get things done in a timely manner but those seconds slip away when chaos rears her lovely head up into your world. We want things faster, smaller and cheaper but we don’t have the time to enjoy a good, night time read with our children. We worry ourselves over the most trivial of problems, not recognizing that poverty and illness do not just live outside our borders but on our streets and in our communities. Why is it never enough to get through the day with a sense of accomplishment over a job well done instead of worrying “Was today my last day?”

We live for sound bites and 280 characters when the expanded version of the written word can be so much more enlightening and enjoyable. Technology has done little to free up our time and instead enslaves us to a new gadget or format. We create bigger gaps in our physical interactions and rely on social networks and texting to communicate with abbreviations, acronyms, and slang.

We maintain and hardly correct or fix things.

We patch and upgrade when we should redesign and rethink.

We’ve filled in the edges of the map but haven’t gone back and looked at things we've already discovered from different perspectives.

We crave attention but hide behind anonymity.

There is a shoe somewhere, ready to drop. The sword is precariously dangled o’er heads.

We look down not up.

Efficiency is a sometimes a cleaner word for cheap and done by someone else.

We cannot enjoy. We selectively surrender.

We cannot expand. We must consolidate.

We cannot think. We must be told.

We cannot breathe. We must prepare.

We cannot move forward. We must go back.

We cannot forget. We must recall.

We cannot destroy. We must create.

We cannot threaten. We must encourage.

We cannot cut corners. We must explore.

We cannot close off. We must invite.

We can change. We cannot settle.

We can plan. We cannot assume.

We can assure. We cannot promise.

We can discover. We cannot discard.

We can recover. We cannot recondition.

We can relearn. We cannot cheat.

We can win. We cannot quit.

We can begin.

We can find the answers to any problem if we only share it with others. We can listen to what others have to say, no matter how hard it is to hear. We can open our eyes and see that we are all in this together. This is what it is supposed to be like if you let it. This can be some kind of wonderful. The times of thinking only of ourselves have got to stop, but the time to rely on others has just begun. This is our time…down here. This is to be our finest hour. This will only take a minute. This is not better than you. But you are better than this. Let in the fear for five seconds and then make a decision. It takes seconds to speak but a lifetime to regret.

This is today.

This is now.

Breathe.