Why Do You Need a CPA To Figure Out Your Cable Bill?

I'm on a roll after being off a week and only posting twice last week. I nailed all three of my weekly posts in nearly one day.

It shouldn’t be that hard. I should be able to have my cable, phone, and Internet all bundled up for one price. I shouldn’t have to go through a month long fight with the cable company every year to renegotiate my contract. I shouldn’t have to get in touch with Customer Service and haggle and bitch and pretty much wear down the person on the other end until they finally cave and give me what I should have been given to start. But I do.

I’ve been going round and round on this since I first bundled my services back in 2004. Now, don’t you think it would be so much simpler and better for everyone involved if Cable Companies could just have a better breakdown on a menu of services. You want Cable…here’s the option. One price. None of this, “Here’s your price, and here’s all the additional fees and charges that go along with it.” If you want more service or less service you pick it. Then we add phone and Internet and the price for each service is an easy breakdown of features. No, they have to have all these weird features and charges and then they bill you a month in advance so that if you change your service, you get dinged for a higher amount, pay it, and then fight to get the charges credited on a future bill. In any case, you end up losing a few dollars in the mix somewhere. The biggest problem is that there is no competing business in my area that covers all the services, yet. Once that happens, I think I’ll have a better chance at keeping prices stable.

The background of this chat is that my current bundle was set to expire in June…or at least I thought it was June. Comcast sent out this nifty little thing to save me money so I signed up. Then my bill went up. I thought, well that’s nice. They offer me a discount and then raise my price higher. Turns out the $20 off coupon was for unbundled customers. Then I called and said, “Hey, bundle me up. But I know it costs more to have HBO/Starz so drop that and keep everything else. Their response was that it would still be more because of a $15 DVR charge. I said, “I know that. That’s figured into my bill. I just want the bundled service minus the premium channels.” Their response, “But it’s going to cost more because of the DVR charge. Why don’t we give you the bundled service without HBO/Starz?” I said, “….Yeah, OK. Do that.” Where do they find these people? Before the words were out of my mouth, HBO and Starz channels were gone. Then instead of my bill going down it went up one month and then even further the next month.

So, Here is a wonderful little transcript with CS over my latest bill changes. I am in blue, he is in green…self explanatory, I know. My interjections are in red. Note the end of the conversation when he becomes unclear about the similarity between my service previously and what I will be billed now. Oh and look I get a smiley face to boot….awww.


Problem : Being billed too much for services. Spoke to rep on or about 5/15 about change. Billed $192 and now $224 for less services. Need to resolve or cancel service. (I know that I have nowhere else to go…I’m hoping they don’t call my bluff.)

Andrew > Hello Mongo_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Andrew. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Andrew > That would be no problem to check into your account. In order to provide any billing information, would you be able to provide your 16 digit Comcast account number?

Mongo_ > XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX <-- (What…do you think I just fell off the Comcast van?)

Andrew > Thank you, one moment please.

Andrew > The reason that your bill is higher this month is because you made a change to your billing after the previous bill printed, so there were retroactive charges, listed on "Partial Month Charges & Credits".

Andrew > Your bill next month will be $158.40 (before taxes).

Mongo_ > Yes, I see that. I just wonder why I see a $214 charge for HD bundle services?

Andrew > That is the price of the bundle for 5/16 (which is when you made the change) to 7/01.

Mongo_ > So, disregard the bill statement of $224.34 which is supposed to Auto Pay on 7/08. It will be $158.40 + tax?

Andrew > No, this statement of $224.34 is correct, after this bill is paid, your billing will be $158.40 (before taxes).

Mongo_ > So, I change my service on 5/16. I get billed $192 on June 07, and now I am going to be billed $224.34 on July 08? How is that? When I called in May, I asked to be put back onto a bundle plan which would be $158 + tax. Why is it taking two months plus additional charges to reflect this? HBO and Starz were turned off at the time of my call to Customer Service. I don't have an HD television and I communicated that to the CSR who I dealt with then.

Andrew > It should be one more moment.

Mongo_ > ok

(5 minutes later)

Mongo_ > How's it coming?

Andrew > Ok, I greatly appreciate your patience.

(2 minutes later. I've noticed throughout that there is a lot of "Analyst is typing" and then nothing...which means he's deleting, waiting, and then typing, again.)

Andrew > I have found that we did not credit you for the DVR service from 6/02 to 7/01. I am going to credit you $14.95. (Why did they do that? Not that I am complaining but I know I have that as a charge. I think they just find things to credit you on and tell it was a mistake. Instead of admitting that they are screwing your eyes out. I've worked in Customer Service before, I know how to polish a turd.)

Andrew > The rest of the charges are correct, since you changed your package on 5/16, and your current promotion is more expensive then the promotion that you had on 5/16, there was retroactive charges from 5/16 to 6/01.

Mongo_ > Just so we're clear, I am on a bundled service for $158 + tax, now. Retroactive charges from the half month of May for HBO/Starz are appearing on June's bill detailing May without a bundled service per se. Does that cover the $192.00 for the month of May? Now, what about June? If my bill is going to be $158.00+tax starting 07/01 then I am being billed somewhere around $60 for something that won't be there in July, less $14.95 for the DVR charge? Is that all correct?

Andrew > Everything that you stated is correct, your May statement is covered. The partial month charges and credits for your June bill is:$52.67. I have credited $34.95 (Where did that little gift come from?) of that, the remaining balance for the partial month charges and credits is: $17.72. (Apparently, he understood what I said. I didn’t.)

Mongo_ > Ok. What will be the final amount being drawn on my account on 07/08? Just so I am sure to have it all there at the time of withdrawal. (It’ll be in my account, but I want them to actually tell me so I can finish this and not call back. Although, I know my bill will be different from Andy here is about to tell me.)

Andrew > The new amount is $189.39, the credit that I have applied should deduct the current balance by 7/08, just in case it doesn't, you will see the credit reflect on your next bill.

Mongo_ > Ok. From then on it will be $158.00 + tax? Is that the same service I had previously, minus the HBO and Starz? I know I have the DVR in that mix. (He and I both use the terms before and plus tax. Notice how they never tell you what the final amount is. I’ve noticed that taxes and fees change monthly. My bill is always the same plus/minus a dollar or two in change.)

Andrew > That is correct, as far as the promotion being the same as before, I believe so, but I cannot say for sure, since that bundle has expired and I cannot see the exact break down of each service that was in it.

Mongo_ > Understood. I appreciate your time in this. (I'm missing the Penguins parade for this. I'm done.)

Andrew > You are very welcome. I am here to assist you. (And all your base are belong to us.)

Mongo_ > Thank you.

Andrew > Would there be anything else I can assist you with today?

Mongo_ > Nope.

Andrew > If there isn't anything else, I just wanted to say thank you for allowing me to assist you today! Remember, if you need us we are here 24/7 at your convenience.

Andrew > Have a great day! :)

Andrew > Analyst has closed chat and left the room

Mongo_ > is left to yell and kick and scream at what just happened.

end of line

I guess I should be thankful, I got this resolved, somewhat. That would be the case if I knew this wouldn’t have to be revisited, eventually. I love how I dropped service but am still paying more. Isn’t it nice that in this economic downturn, Comcast can still boast a profit. You’re welcome, Comcast…You’re welcome.

Pittsburgh Penguins Make the Impossible Probable

OMG! There, I’ve used my txtspk quota for the day. I couldn’t believe what I witnessed on Friday. I was in the Outer Banks on vacation for the majority of the series but caught the first four games at the house we were staying at. Game Five was the 5-0 shutout in Detroit and I only caught the tail end of that when we were about an hour away from home on the PA Turnpike. Game Six we watched the tail end of on Tuesday night after going out for dinner and that was a nail biter of a 2-1 victory in Pittsburgh. Nothing could have prepared me for what was going to unfold in Detroit on Friday night. The odds were stacked heavily in The Red Wings' favor. No hockey team has ever won Game Seven of a Stanley Cup Series on the road. As far as Major League teams in North American sports the last time this happened was in Major League Baseball and that was the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates in Baltimore for Game Seven of the World Series. That’s 30 years ago. This kind of thing just doesn’t happen a lot. The NBA has yet to do it now that LA has beaten Orlando in only five games for the championship and we don't have a team so...go figure.

The other thing that hasn’t happened in a long time is Pittsburgh winning the Stanley Cup. The last time that happened was 1992, 17 years ago, against the Chicago Blackhawks in a 4-0 series shellacking. I was a junior in high school. The previous year was Pittsburgh’s first Stanley Cup victory over the Minnesota North Stars, now Dallas Stars, in a 4-2 series. I remember Game Six of that series, very, very, well.

I was a sophomore in high school and on May 25th, I was at a graduation party at the Indian Creek Valley Community Center in Indian Head, PA. Now, as a sophomore, one doesn’t expect to be attending a lot of graduation parties for his/her classmates. I was one of those weird cases where I spent a lot more time hanging out with the upperclassmen than my own grade. It was my first high school graduation party for a non relative and it was also my first taste of underage drinking beer at a party.

As kids, we all had our moments of sneaking a drink from our parents’ liquor cabinets or our Dad giving us a sip of beer during a Steelers’ Game, but this was the first real opportunity for me to partake in celebratory libations. I wasn’t even supposed to be driving a car after midnight at this point in my life. Luckily, I got a ride to this party because I was in no shape to drive by the end of the night, or so I thought.

This was 1991, a few years before the availability of big screen viewings of events via LCD projectors and the like. Those kinds of resources were for business meetings and sports bars. I was in a Community Center nestled in the foot hills of Western Pennsylvania. We had car radios to keep us posted on the NHL action. We made as many trips to the cars to get an update as we did the keg to get more beer. By the end of the second period we were all feeling pretty buzzed and our inebriation was directly proportional to our confidence in Pittsburgh winning the series. It was a foregone conclusion that Pittsburgh was going to win this game. After trading wins through the first four games, Pittsburgh picked up momentum in Game Five with a 6-4 win over the North Stars in Pittsburgh. Now all that was needed was another win in Game Six at the Met Center in Minnesota. The Pens were up 7 nothing and it looked hopeless for the North Stars.

Wait?!? Did Jimmy Paek just score? The Korean guy just scored his only goal of the playoffs? Are you kidding me? Scratch that, it was hopeless. No offense to Jimmy, he is one of my favorites and that’s not being condescending. As the first of only two Korean players in the NHL, he is the first Korean to have his name engraved on the Stanley Cup and he has his sweater hanging in the Hockey Hall of Fame to honor that. Not bad. You have to respect that.

As I sat in the cab of a friend’s truck and cheered in a drunken state at the sound of the Pens winning their first Stanley Cup, ever, I was given some sobering news. The beer we had been pounding, heavily all night, causing us to run around like jackasses, whooping it up over a hockey game, was non-alcoholic. Immediately, the crowed stopped stumbling and started walking around, normally. A few us tested out our blood alcohol level with a self given, field sobriety test, just to make sure. Throughout this whole evening, we were only drunk on hockey and toasted the winning Pittsburgh Penguins with another cup of O’Douls.

He shoots he scores! Oh, buy Jimmy Paek a drink and get his dog one, too. Great job boys. Now if we could just get the Pirates to stop trading talent and start winning pennants we would truly be the City of Champions with no argument.

There and Back Again, A Mongo's Tale

Part Three: Nights in South Rodanthe

Well, if you haven’t already realized, these posts from the beach are all retroactive in nature. Meaning, I went, took notes, I came home, and I’ve been posting from them over the course of the last week. It will become really apparent in this last bit from the trip home as I talk about a particular game being played in the Stanley Cup finals and we already know how it turned out. Yeah! I have to say that coming home I wasn’t so sure. It was a rough Game Five and it could have been a detriment to the spirit of that team and their little “Flower” of a goalie. Instead, it was just enough fuel to carry them and the cup home. Enough about that… let’s take it home.

Day 7 Saturday June 5
Morning came quick after only getting a few hours of sleep. While we packed most of the car last night, there is still more to be stowed before we leave. I want to let the little one sleep as long as possible before having to wake her. We aren’t going to get a great breakfast because we had to wash everything and pack up all the kitchen items we brought. Still, I know what will happen. She’ll get up. She’ll come upstairs and she’ll grab that high chair and bring it towards the center of the room.

I made several passes around the house, making sure I got everything. Checked all the drawers, looked through every couch and under every bed for toys and other assorted items. I made sure everything was the we left it or better. I took some final pictures and helped load the van. Afterwards, I went back into this house that sheltered us and comforted us this last week and said in my mind, “Thank you for a great trip.” Leaving, I took one last look around and headed back to the van.

We stopped into the rental office to turn in the keys and I gave the lady at the desk the rundown of what had happened. She went and got the manager and he pulled me aside. Smart thing for him to do. The last thing you want to do is have a disgruntled customer standing among other potential customers, spouting about his bad luck. We went back to his office and we spoke about the pool situation. I laid it all out, the missing breaker, our discovery, the pool guy, and I did not expect anything in return. After all, it was our word against his (pool guy). We shook hands and I left.

I was ready to go. I wanted to get moving as quickly as possible. As much as I had a good time this vacation, there’s something to be said for going home. I also knew if I wanted to catch Game Five I had better make it to the other side of the Allegheny Mountains before too late. That was the outer marker for picking up Pittsburgh radio stations.

It was a little bittersweet driving up Rte 12. We again passed by Bodie Light, Jockey’s Ridge, and the Wright Brothers memorial. We stopped again for breakfast at the Western Sizzlin. I must admit I was satisfied with the food there. It was good for a good price. If you ever go to Kill Devil Hills, check it out. Then go a little ways south on Rte 12 to a place called Kill Devil’s Frozen Custard. They have Excellent fries and frozen custard.

Moyock, NC Rte 168
Back on the road, it was just after 1:00 PM. We stopped back at the rest stop on the other side of the sound and made a break for it. From here on out, I wanted to make some good time back to PA. We had to stop one more time at a place called The Border Station in Moyock, NC. It’s a huge gas station / store that sells fireworks. They aren’t like the places along the side of the highway, sometimes going by the name of Woody’s with a picture of a hissing black cat on the sign. This was a bigger outfit and they didn’t sell any of the good stuff. Usually, I like getting some “stuff” before I come home but this was all legal and puny.

Back through the tunnel under the bridge and onto I-95
We seemed to be making good time. I also began to really hate that purple dinosaur. We had the DVD going on a loop behind me for the little one thinking maybe she would fall asleep. No such luck. She was chugging along with the rest of us. We hit the beltway and were heading into Northern VA before sunset. We stopped at a Bob Evans after a few failed attempts at finding another place to eat. From here it wouldn’t be long until we were in PA.

Breezewood, PA Rte 70/76
This is the last leg. Out last fill up was in Moyock, NC. I topped off the tank in order to return the van with the same amount of gas as I had when I picked it up. I also turned over the keys to the wife. I was getting real punchy and needed a break after driving until here. We jumped on the turnpike and headed home. I kept a check on the radio to see if we could hear the game yet. I knew that usually we wouldn’t start getting in Pittsburgh stations until after we went through the tunnel but I was ever hopeful. Game Four was awesome and the Pens really showed Detroit why were in the finals against them for another year. This time last year, we were in a similar situation and I hoped that the tide would have turned with those two wins in Game Three and Four. Now we were back in Detroit. Unfortunately, we have to win this and Game Six to hoist the cup on home ice in Pittsburgh.

Once through the tunnels, I began to get very scratchy reception in on 105.9 WXDX. All I could make out was Mike Lange saying something about it being 5-0. As we wound through the mountains on the turnpike, reception faded in and out. Play continued and more and more pieces of the puzzle came into place. We were losing and it was almost the end of the game. This was indeed the low point of the trip. Not only did Detroit go up 3-2 in the series, there was the distinct possibility that they would be skating around our home ice with the Stanley Cup. As gracious of hosts as we are, I think the thought of Marion Hossa skating around our ice, his former ice, holding that cup high above his head would be enough to start a riot in the arena.

Home
Somewhere around Johnstown, the little one finally dozed off to sleep. We drove the rest of the way in silence and landed back at my In Laws’ house just before midnight. We dropped them off and ended up waking the baby. She pretty much cried until we got home. I don’t blame her. She went 12 hours without a nap and once she fell asleep we woke her up five minutes before we pulled into the driveway. I’d be pissed, too.

We unloaded the van and fell into the house out of exhaustion. We pretty much just did what we needed to go to sleep. The cats were happy to see us and we were happy to see them. We bathed the baby and put her down around 2:00 AM. We both sat in our living room, exhausted by too awake to sleep. After a shower, we were in bed and both sat there still awake. I was waiting for the last of the caffeine to escape my system and finally drifted off to sleep. Since we fed the cats late, I was able to sleep until 8:00 AM before having to get up. As I finish up these notes I noticed we missed a phone call at 10:14 AM Saturday. It was the realty company. The manager called the house five minutes after I left. He said he totally understands and believes us. He’s had problems with this outside company before and is going to reimburse us for all but two days of pool heat. Sometimes, it pays to make noise even when the odds are against you. Hopefully, the fans will make some noise in Pittsburgh during Game Six and then ultimately Game Seven. We’re not out yet. I only hope Fleury isn’t too rattled after that loss. It would be nice to have the Lombardi Trophy and Stanley Cup in Pittsburgh for the year…but I guess a World Series win might be a tall order. Maybe…



As you can see, I wrote this with no knowledge of the impending win in Pittsburgh and win in Detroit. What a Game Seven that was. Holy Crap, Fleury shook off the bad vibes of Game Five and stepped it up. Go Pens!