So, in the year 2010, the media continued to be full of douchebaggery. Now, you may ask why I did not include Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly in this group. After all, they are part of the media. However, I fell they are more politically motivated. Beck had his rally and Bill had his opinions on "who killed us" on 9/11. So, I discounted them as media and moved them to the political round. Don't feel too bad about them. This round has four worthy d-bags competing for the title.
Julian Assange
Some may call him a hero. Others will call him reckless and dangerous. Well, he is. I give him credit for exposing a lot of information that should have been brought to light. However, his leaking of diplomatic cables has the potential of putting a lot of people in danger. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you actually should do it. Information and knowledge are powerful weapons and they are just as destructive as guns and bombs. Do I want transparency in my government? Yes. Do I want people to be held accountable for their actions? Yes. But we still have soldiers in Afghanistan and a fragile balance in the world and bringing these things to light can put a lot of people in danger. But, what is the safety of people vs. the freedom of the press, right? There's a thing called tact, you d-bag. How about you turn that probe on yourself and open up your closets and let us look at the skeletons.
Perez Hilton
Sometimes having an opinion has its merits. Perez feels he's witty and clever with his little squiggly lines and other stuff he posts on his blog. Last year he almost made the list over the whole Carrie Prejean deal. Granted, she was a bigger d-bag but he obviously came in with an agenda when he asked her the whole "opposite marriage" question. He also went for the jugular when he claimed Michael Jackson was feigning illness as a stunt to get out of having to do the "This is it" tour. Oops. He died. This year he posted a picture of Miley Cyrus, on stage, supposedly without underwear. Now, since he's not into Miley, it could be excusable. However, she was underage, at the time and that constitutes distributing child pornography. When he realized his faux pas, he claimed it was fake and had proof. Instead of re-posting the picture with undies, intact, he instead posted a different picture, claiming it was from the same occasion. Um, right. He got with his pants down. Perez, regardless of how much you poke fun of people I could care less about, you are a overexposed, hack, d-bag and you should probably just go away.
Me
That's what I said. Me. The ole Mongster himself. Why? Here's a list of reasons. I spend way too much time doing this kind of stuff and don't take care of the things that need to be taken care of in my own life. My house has about 15 projects that are either started, on deck, or on the drawing board and I would rather quibble over celebrities or draw funny pictures on shirts or get blown up by 12 year olds on Call of Duty death match than do them. I get cranky for no reason and take it out on those around me. Most of all, I have no right to point the finger at anyone else when I have am a no talent ass clown hack of a blogger with an Internet connection and no ambition to do any real work. That's why I'm a d-bag. By the way, if you ever see the call profile AngryMongo on Call of Duty Free for All, that's probably me. Frag away, I'll sneak up on your ass and knife once for payback.
And the winner is,
Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Myself aside, Dr. Laura is a champ d-bag all on her own. Her past indiscretions are legendary but this year she thought it was OK to just go off shouting the "n" word, just because others get to do it, too. Well, if that isn't reason enough, then I don't know what is. Here's a tip for you, Dr. D-bag. You don't get to use the word. I don't get to use the word. In fact, those that use the word shouldn't be using it. Whatever your race is, the word is still a bad one. I don't care if you use it in a sentence, a lyric, or a joke. "It's just a word." You're right, it's just a word. You have every right to say a word and we have every right to be upset over it. It's not the word, it's the history assigned to it. It's the 400 years that preceded Dr. Laura that make the word inflammatory. It's not about free speech or rights. It's about common decency and common sense. That's why you're a douchebag, Dr. Laura.
Got Mongo? Feed On This!"
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Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
2010 D-Bag Awards Round Five: Company D-Bags
After the shock and awe wore off from the Wall Street bailouts and general lack of ethics among big corporations, 2010 was still able to produce some great d-bag moments in the corporate sector. Here's our nominations for the Big Business D-Bags.
Dell
The once proud computer manufacturer/retailer got hit with the corporate stick this year as they connived to keep hush about knowing that 11.8 million PCs were defective. That's the problem with getting to be a big guy, you have to stay there and sometimes you beg, borrow, or steal to do it.
Comcast
Being named Consumerist's Worst Company In America last year didn't stop Comcast from being total d-bags. Personally, I have to use them in some form because FIOS is not in my area. Secondly, Comcast thought it knew best when it came to failed connections to websites. It automatically replaced my standard "Page cannot be displayed" screen with suggestions of websites I might want to go to. Instead of opting into that service, I had to take multiple hours to keep it from happening. Then it came back, automatically, and had to be manually stopped a second time. But that's besides the point. Comcast is hell bent on becoming the big brother of television by buying up NBC, and it seems no one, not even Al Franken, can stop this disaster waiting to happen.
MTV
I don't know why MTV continues to call itself MTV. This year, the once great music television channel that gave us music videos, Liquid Television, the late Ken Ober's basement, Kari Wuhrer in a tube top, 120 minutes, Headbanger's Ball, Beavis and Butthead, YO MTV Raps, and a host of other great music related programs decided to drop the word Music from their moniker. Actually, they decided to stop lying about playing music videos. Unless you were able to correctly decipher the schedule and make time between the minutes of 3:40AM and 4:20AM you probably haven't seen a music video for years. Instead, MTV has decided to focus its energy on more reality based programming. I guess you could blame The Real World for all this since it kind of started the genre. Personally, I blame Adam Curry.
The TSA
Since 9/11, air travel security has been on the cornerstones of the new world order of Homeland Security. But, as 2010 rolled into high gear, the level of privacy violations have gone to plaid via ludicrous speed. The back scatter scanners may or may not cause cancer but more importantly they tell everyone what your wearing, or what you are... packing underneath your Calvin's. The images are not detailed enough to perhaps titillate, unless you like the kink of a Marilyn Manson video or Silent Hill video game but the fact that the images got saved. They shouldn't be, in any case, saved. If you aren't into being x-rayed, then you could get the pat-down from the cold, chapped fist of justice. People feel violated and the proof that these methods of protection from terrorists are not confirmed. Basically, you are letting the TSA get to second base. Can we say, "Bad touch."
And the winner...
BP
This one was a no-brainer, in fact I don't even have to say anything about it. Everyone knows what BP did and what they failed to do so no use in beating a dead, oil covered, horse. The best part about all of this was that it took Kevin Costner to come up with a plan to solve the issue. Take that, Waterworld grosses.WTG, BP!
Dell
The once proud computer manufacturer/retailer got hit with the corporate stick this year as they connived to keep hush about knowing that 11.8 million PCs were defective. That's the problem with getting to be a big guy, you have to stay there and sometimes you beg, borrow, or steal to do it.
Comcast
Being named Consumerist's Worst Company In America last year didn't stop Comcast from being total d-bags. Personally, I have to use them in some form because FIOS is not in my area. Secondly, Comcast thought it knew best when it came to failed connections to websites. It automatically replaced my standard "Page cannot be displayed" screen with suggestions of websites I might want to go to. Instead of opting into that service, I had to take multiple hours to keep it from happening. Then it came back, automatically, and had to be manually stopped a second time. But that's besides the point. Comcast is hell bent on becoming the big brother of television by buying up NBC, and it seems no one, not even Al Franken, can stop this disaster waiting to happen.
MTV
I don't know why MTV continues to call itself MTV. This year, the once great music television channel that gave us music videos, Liquid Television, the late Ken Ober's basement, Kari Wuhrer in a tube top, 120 minutes, Headbanger's Ball, Beavis and Butthead, YO MTV Raps, and a host of other great music related programs decided to drop the word Music from their moniker. Actually, they decided to stop lying about playing music videos. Unless you were able to correctly decipher the schedule and make time between the minutes of 3:40AM and 4:20AM you probably haven't seen a music video for years. Instead, MTV has decided to focus its energy on more reality based programming. I guess you could blame The Real World for all this since it kind of started the genre. Personally, I blame Adam Curry.
The TSA
Since 9/11, air travel security has been on the cornerstones of the new world order of Homeland Security. But, as 2010 rolled into high gear, the level of privacy violations have gone to plaid via ludicrous speed. The back scatter scanners may or may not cause cancer but more importantly they tell everyone what your wearing, or what you are... packing underneath your Calvin's. The images are not detailed enough to perhaps titillate, unless you like the kink of a Marilyn Manson video or Silent Hill video game but the fact that the images got saved. They shouldn't be, in any case, saved. If you aren't into being x-rayed, then you could get the pat-down from the cold, chapped fist of justice. People feel violated and the proof that these methods of protection from terrorists are not confirmed. Basically, you are letting the TSA get to second base. Can we say, "Bad touch."
And the winner...
BP
This one was a no-brainer, in fact I don't even have to say anything about it. Everyone knows what BP did and what they failed to do so no use in beating a dead, oil covered, horse. The best part about all of this was that it took Kevin Costner to come up with a plan to solve the issue. Take that, Waterworld grosses.WTG, BP!
Monday, December 27, 2010
2010 D-Bag Awards Four: Political D-Bags
Round four of the nominations goes to the political d-bags that made this year so d-bagarific. Yes, the list of noms looks a little slanted towards one side, but stick with me on this one.
Christine O'Donnell
She ran for the Senate in Delaware under the banner of the Tea Party Movement. What happened after the primaries was one of the funniest campaigns since Sarah Palin looked up from her house and saw Russia, declaring six more weeks of idiocy. As far as her own idiocy is concerned, here are some highlights, in no particular order. She criticised reckless government spending yet she had financial difficulties that made her look more fiscally irresponsible. Then she attacked her opponent, Mike Castle, by insinuating that he was having a homosexual affair. She ended up winning the primary. Various stories floated around that she was in a Masters program at Princeton, while she didn't receive her undergraduate until 2010. Her LinkedIn profile was a bit off, listing Oxford as a place of study, and she claims it was not created by her. She asked voters to keep an open mind about her but played the conservative, no hey diddle diddle with your kitty in the middle because it was just as bad as adultery. Meanwhile, her own past was wrought with various sexual experiences including the best of all, the witchcraft card. Oh yes, if you haven't seen the videos or heard the stories, little miss goodie two shoes was a witch.
Was she?
No.
Sarah Palin
Palmgate, Fencegate, Trig-Gate, and pretty much any other list of ridiculous gates that have come out of the three ring circus that started once she decided to quit her job as Governor of Alaska. Well, she had to, in order to spend more time gaining fame from the media circuit in order to build up a following should she feel the urge to, oh I don't know, run for President in 2012. First she used her son, Trig, as a prop in most of her early appearances. Then we had the Hillbilly Palm Pilot or the Palin Prompter occur. As a contributor to Fox News, Palin supposedly interviewed LL Cool J and Toby Keith, but both of those interviews were lifted from previous interviews in which Palin was never involved in as an interviewer. As someone who continually berated the President for using a teleprompter it comes as a surprise that she would get caught red handed doing the same thing during a speech. Not to let an opportunity to make waves go by, she also defended idiot extraordinaire Laura Schlessinger's use of the "N" word during a radio show. Apparently, Palin forgets that First Amendment rights do not extend themselves to employers, who can fire or suspend whomever they want to, for violating company ethics. The latest in d-baggery is the whole reality show that allows Sarah Palin to hunt and slaughter just about anything she can get her sharpie palms on these days. If only the camping trip with Kate Gosselin would have turned into a Timothy Treadwell documentary, or a pillow fight, that would have been something.
Bill O'Reilly
The political pinhead made major news during the whole Ground Zero Mosque debate when he went on The View and pretty much generalized the entire issue of 9/11 as "Muslims killed us on 9/11." That statement and the ensuing argument caused Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar to leave the set, much to the chargrin of Barbara Walters who chided her cohosts for the act of defiance. The entire issue over the Mosque site can be boiled down to the d-baggery statement, uttered by O'Reilly. Whether or not the Mosque should be built near or within a few city blocks is debatable. It could be called a power play or a simple matter of available real estate. However, the misconception that Muslims were responsible for what happened on 9/11 is the basis for most of the issues we have in this day and age. The assigning of blame to an entire class, race, gender, or religious identity for the actions of extremists within that group is what has eroded the fabric of humanity. All Muslims are not terrorists, just as all Christians are not like Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell. All political pundits are not like Bill O'Reilly, just the d-bags. :)
Glenn Beck
The Rally to Restore Honor was neither a rally or honorable. It was a publicity stunt, pure and simple, down to the date and location of the event, August 28 at the Lincoln Memorial. Beck billed his rally as a way for Americans to unite regardless of political affiliation or religious background. Figures in attendance were grosely miscalculated as much as the message that was being given at the rally. Boiling it all down, it was simply a way to generate publicity for Beck. He is, by his own admission, not a political pundit. He is an entertainer. He says he could give a rat's ass about politics. If that is not honorable, then I don't know what is.
Tea Party Movement
The movement was supposed to be a call to arms for Americans, tired of government. What it became was a puppet of the GOP's plans to take back government by using waht they felt was a necessary tool, fear. Fear that government, and Democrats, were trying to socialize, grow, and take over everything in America. But, I guess I should disqualify them and I do. I am simply playing into my own argument of blaming an entire organization for the acts of individuals. Those individuals used the Tea Party as a platform to be racist, homophobic, ethnocentric, comparing Obama to Hitler and Lenin, among other d-baggery. So, I humbly excuse the Tea Party Movement from being nominated and move onto the winner of this round.
Politicians in general
There I go, generalizing again, but I can't help it. This year was all about the political process. The movements, the elections, the bills, the everything. It has all boiled down to this. The political process in this country has been about getting in control, not actually doing the right thing for America. It doesn't matter if it's a Democrat or Republican, Red or Blue, Left or Right. Whether it be Mitch McConnell declaring that his highest achievement should be to make Obama a one-term president or Obama going back on his word to end the Bush era tax cuts, everything has been about control, not the American people. In the words of Bill Murray from Ghostbusters II, "I'm a voter. Aren't you supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?" Mitch McConnell's single highest achievement should not be making sure that Obama is a one-term president. It should be to do what is best for the people he serves, whomever might be in charge of country. He needs to not stall or kill things as a power struggle, but to work together and get things done in order to make this country a better place. Instead of working against each other, how about they all start working with each other. We all wanted change and we would have gotten it if they would have all stopped playing the part of the bitter playground kid who didn't like how the game was going and took their ball and went home. Suck it up, d-bags. We elected you. We changed the team line up in 2010 and don't think we won't do it again come next election. Everyone is getting a full count from now on and there is little room for anyone to screw up here.
Christine O'Donnell
She ran for the Senate in Delaware under the banner of the Tea Party Movement. What happened after the primaries was one of the funniest campaigns since Sarah Palin looked up from her house and saw Russia, declaring six more weeks of idiocy. As far as her own idiocy is concerned, here are some highlights, in no particular order. She criticised reckless government spending yet she had financial difficulties that made her look more fiscally irresponsible. Then she attacked her opponent, Mike Castle, by insinuating that he was having a homosexual affair. She ended up winning the primary. Various stories floated around that she was in a Masters program at Princeton, while she didn't receive her undergraduate until 2010. Her LinkedIn profile was a bit off, listing Oxford as a place of study, and she claims it was not created by her. She asked voters to keep an open mind about her but played the conservative, no hey diddle diddle with your kitty in the middle because it was just as bad as adultery. Meanwhile, her own past was wrought with various sexual experiences including the best of all, the witchcraft card. Oh yes, if you haven't seen the videos or heard the stories, little miss goodie two shoes was a witch.
Was she?
No.
First off, she was poser. Anyone remotely associated with the real kind of witchcraft that gets bastardized in the media and throughout organized religion has nothing to do with Satanism, yet O'Donnell claims she dabbled in witchcraft and had sex on a Satanic altar with animal blood. Um, Satanism and Witchcraft are two different things. Pagan (real witch stuff) predates Christianity. So, she's basically stupid in two religions. Also, going on that whole crusade against evil pretty much makes her a hypocrite. This witch shouldn't be throwing rune stones.
Bill Maher showing witch clip from Politically Incorrect
Sarah Palin
Palmgate, Fencegate, Trig-Gate, and pretty much any other list of ridiculous gates that have come out of the three ring circus that started once she decided to quit her job as Governor of Alaska. Well, she had to, in order to spend more time gaining fame from the media circuit in order to build up a following should she feel the urge to, oh I don't know, run for President in 2012. First she used her son, Trig, as a prop in most of her early appearances. Then we had the Hillbilly Palm Pilot or the Palin Prompter occur. As a contributor to Fox News, Palin supposedly interviewed LL Cool J and Toby Keith, but both of those interviews were lifted from previous interviews in which Palin was never involved in as an interviewer. As someone who continually berated the President for using a teleprompter it comes as a surprise that she would get caught red handed doing the same thing during a speech. Not to let an opportunity to make waves go by, she also defended idiot extraordinaire Laura Schlessinger's use of the "N" word during a radio show. Apparently, Palin forgets that First Amendment rights do not extend themselves to employers, who can fire or suspend whomever they want to, for violating company ethics. The latest in d-baggery is the whole reality show that allows Sarah Palin to hunt and slaughter just about anything she can get her sharpie palms on these days. If only the camping trip with Kate Gosselin would have turned into a Timothy Treadwell documentary, or a pillow fight, that would have been something.
Palmgate from Inside Edition
Bill O'Reilly
The political pinhead made major news during the whole Ground Zero Mosque debate when he went on The View and pretty much generalized the entire issue of 9/11 as "Muslims killed us on 9/11." That statement and the ensuing argument caused Whoopi Goldberg and Joy Behar to leave the set, much to the chargrin of Barbara Walters who chided her cohosts for the act of defiance. The entire issue over the Mosque site can be boiled down to the d-baggery statement, uttered by O'Reilly. Whether or not the Mosque should be built near or within a few city blocks is debatable. It could be called a power play or a simple matter of available real estate. However, the misconception that Muslims were responsible for what happened on 9/11 is the basis for most of the issues we have in this day and age. The assigning of blame to an entire class, race, gender, or religious identity for the actions of extremists within that group is what has eroded the fabric of humanity. All Muslims are not terrorists, just as all Christians are not like Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell. All political pundits are not like Bill O'Reilly, just the d-bags. :)
Bill O'Reilly on The View
Glenn Beck
The Rally to Restore Honor was neither a rally or honorable. It was a publicity stunt, pure and simple, down to the date and location of the event, August 28 at the Lincoln Memorial. Beck billed his rally as a way for Americans to unite regardless of political affiliation or religious background. Figures in attendance were grosely miscalculated as much as the message that was being given at the rally. Boiling it all down, it was simply a way to generate publicity for Beck. He is, by his own admission, not a political pundit. He is an entertainer. He says he could give a rat's ass about politics. If that is not honorable, then I don't know what is.
Tea Party Movement
The movement was supposed to be a call to arms for Americans, tired of government. What it became was a puppet of the GOP's plans to take back government by using waht they felt was a necessary tool, fear. Fear that government, and Democrats, were trying to socialize, grow, and take over everything in America. But, I guess I should disqualify them and I do. I am simply playing into my own argument of blaming an entire organization for the acts of individuals. Those individuals used the Tea Party as a platform to be racist, homophobic, ethnocentric, comparing Obama to Hitler and Lenin, among other d-baggery. So, I humbly excuse the Tea Party Movement from being nominated and move onto the winner of this round.
Politicians in general
There I go, generalizing again, but I can't help it. This year was all about the political process. The movements, the elections, the bills, the everything. It has all boiled down to this. The political process in this country has been about getting in control, not actually doing the right thing for America. It doesn't matter if it's a Democrat or Republican, Red or Blue, Left or Right. Whether it be Mitch McConnell declaring that his highest achievement should be to make Obama a one-term president or Obama going back on his word to end the Bush era tax cuts, everything has been about control, not the American people. In the words of Bill Murray from Ghostbusters II, "I'm a voter. Aren't you supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?" Mitch McConnell's single highest achievement should not be making sure that Obama is a one-term president. It should be to do what is best for the people he serves, whomever might be in charge of country. He needs to not stall or kill things as a power struggle, but to work together and get things done in order to make this country a better place. Instead of working against each other, how about they all start working with each other. We all wanted change and we would have gotten it if they would have all stopped playing the part of the bitter playground kid who didn't like how the game was going and took their ball and went home. Suck it up, d-bags. We elected you. We changed the team line up in 2010 and don't think we won't do it again come next election. Everyone is getting a full count from now on and there is little room for anyone to screw up here.
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