WUMF: November Edition

Turkey Day is done and now we turn the corner into December and the downhill avalanche of the holiday season hill, which will inevitably lead to a crash at the bottom on January 2nd. How about another edition of WUMF (What’s Up My Friends)?

It’s Never Pleurisy
I started off this WUMF post with an update about my health, but it blew up into a larger story, so I shelved it for a separate post. Stay tuned. Needless to say, it’s not Pleurisy, though it feels like it.

Movember
I haven't shaved my mustache and goat this whole month and I'm sooo looking forward to tomorrow.   OK, so I'm not officially registered anywhere and I do have a goatee, but my face is hideous enough without the facial hair let alone with only a mustache.  The goat gives it some saving grace.   In any case, I did it, just to do it.

Now, back in 1994, I did a play at Pitt where I couldn't shave at all and had a full beard.  Nothing Kiesel worthy or even Dan Haggerty but it served its purpose.  I was so happy to shave it, then, too.

On the back nine of my 30s, my facial hair bears the brunt of my gray hair, more so than on top.  I like to keep it stubbly as much as possible.

Flea Bag Hotel
In addition to being sick, one of my cats has an upper respiratory infection so we took her to the vet. Turns out, not only did she have a URI, she has fleas as do the other three cats. So, on my day off yesterday which should have had me trying to recuperate from being sick, I was running around all over the house spraying Knockout E.S. and doing laundry and trying to just rid ourselves of the issue without resorting to napalming the house. My chest is killing me and after bending over and picking up stuff and moving around I was at the point where I couldn’t breathe or move last night.

My wife, God love her, is an animal lover and hates to see the strays from our neighborhood, mostly a product of our neighbor’s doing, go hungry. She buys, [read: I buy] the cheap Value Time cat food and puts it out. Well, apparently, they are all flea ridden and hitched a ride into our house. Our cats do not step foot outside, are all fixed, and are basically fat and lazy, much like their owner.

Radio Traffic Reports
Someone needs to get these folks some real time traffic, or at least a bookmark to Google traffic cams on their computer. Every day, I used to getting stuck in traffic around the Wilkinsburg exit on 376 East, heading into Pittsburgh. Every day, coming home I get stuck around the Forbes Oakland exit on 376 East heading out of Pittsburgh. Every once in awhile, if there is talk of huge accidents, I will take an alternate route. Although, a slight bump in the backend of a vehicle sets off a world of fail chain reaction causing air traffic over Pittsburgh to grind to a halt so the pilots can rubberneck.

However, when I hear the traffic report say that traffic is building normally and I immediately have to slam on the breaks because they neglect to mention that an accident in the Sq, Hill Tunnel has caused a backup of cars all the way to the ramp before Churchill, I feel a little stabby.

Pittsburgh DJs and traffic correspondents on WDVE and 93.7 The Fan, before you go onto to do your update, pull up a Google cam of the Parkways and just take a look at the various cameras to see where traffic is really jammed at. That way, us Walking Dead Club commuters won’t be late for work. Or at least, answer the phone when I call to bitch about your incompetence, instead of fast tracking a some Italian guy who calls in to say that he loves, “Felize Navidad” because he’s Italian. WTF?!?!

12 Days of Christmas Part 2
Last year, I participated in a giveaway hosted by some of my design friends. They gave away 12 shirts and 12 stocking stuffer items to 12 folks. Well, this year they are at it again and it starts tomorrow with 48 brands involved as well as other fantastic prizes. Click the link above to go see the official announcement. I have a post up on my Store blog and will do some tweeting to promote it. Follow me at @AngryMongo to keep up with the fun.

D-bag of the Year Awards
I haven’t put the final list together but really there is no question who should win. I won’t give it away but unless something happens in the next two weeks to change things, it should be a landslide. However, I’ll still bore you with the details over a couple of posts coming in December.

That’s it. Rub dirt in it and take a lap folks.

Vegas Baby: Part 4 - Let it Ride

We’ve talked travel. We’ve talked lodging. We’ve talked eating. NOW, comes the biggie. This is what Vegas is all about. Gambling.

OK, I am no big gambler by any means. I rarely stop by anything more than a $5.00 Black Jack table and the penny slots are where you will find me on a casino floor. That being said, there is something alluring about the idea of hitting it big in Vegas.

You hear the sounds, you see the lights. Is it any wonder that the digital sounds of someone cashing out or winning is slightly louder than anything else. You usually do not hear a sound when you do not hit any lines on a slot machine.

Working for four years in Amusement Park environments teaches you a lot about the art of the sell. You want to draw in people so you emphasize a big win, no matter how mundane or impossible it be to actually win.

I have been to six casinos in my life. Two in Niagara Falls, The Rivers in Pittsburgh and now The Mirage, The Bellagio, and The Venetian. Out of all of them, I actually prefer Pittsburgh. That sounds biased being in my area but if your sole purpose for going to Las Vegas, beyond shows, food, experience, or sightseeing, is to gamble then don’t go. Go to a place more local to you. When I went to The Rivers after it first opened all they had was slot machines and it was still fun. When they introduced table games in the last year or so, I was excited because I like a good game of Black Jack.

Still, I was a just a bit disappointed at the lack of actual tables on the casino floor and the fact that the casino only covered one level. The ones in Niagara Falls had a couple. This was in 2004. They had one level that was smoking and one, non smoking.

But, going to Vegas, my expectations were high in the amount of actual tables and variety of machines and the number of available floors to gamble on and after visiting all three of those afore mentioned casinos, I saw no distinct difference in actual gambling experience.

In fact, I found the offerings of slot machines to be very repetitive. I saw the same machines over and over again, throughout the Mirage floor. It makes it easy for someone to find the machine they like, but I spent a lot of time going over the floor looking to find ones that I enjoyed and kept seeing the same stupid ones. In the end, I kept coming back to the same one, which was a plus to the casino for dragging me into that world of fail since I spent close to $50 on it. 

It was right next to the restrooms and the Cirque du Soleil ‘Beatles’ Love show. There were times that you could really go up a lot if you could get the ‘Battle for Gotham’ bonus which is a four part race that is AI Controlled that racks up bonus credits for you. I think the most I ever got was around $30 and I ended up putting that back into the machine anyway. I found a video of it from a different casino on YouTube. It’s very fun.

The Dark Knight Slot Machine

Granted, in that video, the player bet probably the max bet which would have been like $0.80 and multiplied 12 times which is $9.60. But the payout was 213.36 so, that was good. I usually did the $0.80 single multiplier and on very rare occasions did I splurge and do 2x multipliers. I’m such a cheap ass.

Yep, I only ended up gambling $120 and I lost all of that. I gained a little back playing an Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade slot machine in the airport before our flight home. Then I lost it again.

Now, once again, I should stress that I only went to three casinos, on the strip and didn’t venture downtown, but you’d think that it would be a better experience in the newer area.

So, in all, if you have a casino near where you live and have some grand scheme of going to Vegas to hit it big… stay home. Save the money you would have blown on travel and do something else with it. Go to the local joint and spend the original gambling fund there. Might as well help your area over someone else’s, right?

Also, decide how much you actually want to spend on gambling and don’t go beyond that. If you go up, fine. If you can remove your original amount and just gamble on the house money, do so. That way, when you eventually lose it all, you end up even. This is not the economy to be losing your shirt in.

Next up is my monthly WUMF post and then some final thoughts on Vegas.

Vegas Baby: Part 3 - What Happens In Vegas Stays in the Colon

Whenever you mention Vegas to someone, the first thought in their head is gambling. Usually, the second or third thought is the food, more specifically, the buffets. As I lead you by the brain and tasted buds through the Vegas experience, remember, I only stayed in the Strip. I did not venture downtown.

I can tell you, right now, the notion that you can gamble big and eat big on little money is long gone. There are plenty of places to dine inside the Mirage and I took advantage of three of them. Of course, there is a Starbucks. I’m sure there is one in most every Casino in Vegas. There is also the standard buffet, called Cravings. There is a frozen yogurt place, which was neat. They have B.B King’s Blues Club for some great pork and music. There is also a Carnegie’s Deli, like the one in New York. And finally, we sampled some of the room service provided by the Mirage.

On our first night, we checked into the hotel and went down to B.B. King’s, We had already missed the buffet which closed. The Blues Club was shrouded in darkness and looked much like a Ruby Tuesday’s or other chain restaurant. The difference is the wall art which is mostly Rhythm and Blues giants like Muddy Waters or Clapton. Looking over the menu, we both got BBQ pulled pork. I went the sandwich route, while my wife went with the full meal. Food was excellent.

After eating we were treated to a live performance by a band called PJ Barth. I was unfamiliar with the band and the lead singer/guitarist was this skinny little white dude who looked like a kid who dressed up as Stevie Ray Vaughn for Halloween. He was accompanied by a bassist and drummer and that was all he needed. Here’s a video of him doing an awesome cover of Jimi Hendrix’s Little Wing


The next morning… well around 10 or 11 am, we went to eat lunch at The Carnegie Deli. Now, I’ve never been there but I hear Bowser from Sha Na Na and Arthur Fonzarelli eat there together.
Looking over the menu I can tell you one thing, they like their tongue. Every other item on the menu had tongue in it. We stayed away from that and went for a club sandwich, which we shared. Why? It was about a foot tall. They must have used a pound of turkey and a pound of bacon. I ended up making three sandwiches out of it. But it was yummy.

That night we went to the buffet, geared up for some great eating. I was thoroughly unimpressed with Cravings. It had a sort of Art Deco cafeteria look to it. The offerings were a bit meager. The crab legs were split down the middle. That must be a Vegas thing because the Bellagio was the same way. I’ve never seen crab legs done like that. You’d think it would be easier to eat them that way but it was not. Whatever those things, that run down the middle of a crab leg, are called they held onto the meat with a deathlike grip.

We should have started with dessert because that was the best part of it. Everything else was a bit off and the choices were a bit weird. For what it cost to eat there, $30 bucks a piece, I tried to make up for it with desserts and crab legs.

The next day, our last full day, we tried room service for breakfast. We both ordered a triple breakfast combo consisting of waffles, pancakes, and French toast. Now before you say, “Ooh, have another, fatty” realize that for the total cost of $22.00 each, we got a single plate with three silver dollar pancakes, an equally sized waffle which looked to be ripped from the other three mini waffles in an Eggo pack, and a block of French toast the size of a pack of cigarettes. All of this was drizzled over by fruit compote. That was room service. While it was pretty good tasting, the idea that, for $40.00, I can take my wife, kid, and father-in-law to Cheddar’s in Wheeling and have a Monte Cristo, a burger, a shrimp platter, a grilled cheese, two sodas, a chocolate milk, and two draft beers makes me a bit queasy.

That afternoon we had the Blizz frozen yogurt snack, which was nice. You grab a cup, fill it with various flavors, add toppings and spend like $0.50 an ounce. It was pretty good for getting frozen yogurt. I think it ended up being like $12 all said and done.

However, that night I was bound and determined to eat a good buffet dinner in Vegas. We walked from the Mirage down to the Bellagio so I could see the fountains. We decided to eat there with a little apprehension at dropping another $60.00 for crap food.

Mission accomplished. The buffet was much, much better, though they do their crab legs the same way. But I found what I really liked which was the four or five different pasta dishes that were just phenomenal. I was ready for a nap after that.

After all of that eating I realized we spent a hell of a lot of money, just on food. In fact, we spent more money on food that we did on gambling. Hey, why not? At least I get something for my money with the food. I can’t enjoy losing $120 on slots and blackjack, but I’ll have this fat forever.

And for all that, I’ve come to the conclusion that the Vegas of old, with the cheap prime rib buffets and free drinks, is either a myth or was ruined by something else. Everything there costs money. Now, had I dropped a grand in the casino, they might have comped me a meal or two but you’re basically spending that money anyways. Hell, a 32 oz. Diet Coke, by the pool was $8.00. WTF!?!?

Although, directly across the street from the Mirage was both a Denny’s and a McDonald’s. But that would have been wrong. That’s like going to China and eating at a Manchu Wok or going to Manhattan and getting pizza at a Sbarro. You just don’t do that shit.

Next up, gambling and the Vegas experience.