First we'll start off with the comedic. A Commander in Chief should have a sense of humor.
President Tug Benson (Lloyd Bridges) Hot Shots: Part Deux (1991)
It seems like only yesterday I was strafing so many of your homes. Here I am today, begging you not to make such good cars.
Some Presidents assume the title of Commander in Chief with the desire to fix the economy or strengthen foreign relations. Others find themselves with the bigger task of rebuilding civilization after a rogue comet hits the Earth. Don’t you wish a candidate had a plan for this kind of disaster in their campaign.
President Tom Beck (Morgan Freeman) Deep Impact (1998)We watched as the bombs shattered the second comet into a million pieces of ice and rocks that burned harmlessly in our atmosphere, and lit up the sky for an hour. Still, we were left with the devastation of the first. The waters reached as far inland as the Ohio and Tennessee Valleys. It washed away farms and towns, forests and skyscrapers, but the water receded. The wave hit Europe and Africa, too. Millions were lost, countless more left homeless, but the waters receded. Cities fall, but they are rebuilt. And heroes die, but they are remembered. We honor them with every brick we lay, with every field we sow, with every child we comfort and then teach to rejoice in what we have been regiven. Our planet, our home. So now, let us begin.
Sometimes a President must own up to a mistake or at least take the blame for something because in the end, the buck stops there.
President Bill Mitchell aka Dave Kovic (Kevin Kline) Dave (1993)I forgot that I was hired to do a job for you and that it was just a temp job at that. I forgot that I had two hundred and fifty million people who were paying me to make their lives a little better and I didn't live up to my part of the bargain. See, there are certain things you should expect from a President. I ought to care more about you than I do about me... I ought to care more about what's right than I do about what's popular... I ought to be willing to give this whole thing up for something I believe in... Because if I'm not... Then I don't belong here in the first place...
President Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas) The American President (1995)For the last couple of months, Senator Rumson has suggested that being president of this country was, to a certain extent, about character and although I have not been willing to engage in his attacks on me, I've been here three years and three days, and I can tell you without hesitation: Being President of this country is entirely about character.
For the record: Yes, I am a card-carrying member of the A.C.L.U. But the more important question is why aren't you, Bob? This is an organization whose sole purpose is to defend the Bill of Rights, so it naturally begs the questions. Why would a senator, his party's most powerful spokesman and a candidate for president, choose to reject upholding the Constitution? If you can answer that question, then, folks, you're smarter than I am, because I didn't understand it until a couple of minutes ago.
Everybody knows American isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You gotta want it bad, 'cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say, "You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, who's standing center stage and advocating, at the top of his lungs, that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours. You want to claim this land as the land of the free, then the symbol of your country can't just be a flag; the symbol also has to be one of its citizens exercising his right to burn that flag in protest." Show me that, defend that, celebrate that in your classrooms. Then you can stand up and sing about the land of the free.
I've known Bob Rumson for years. I've been operating under the assumption that the reason Bob devotes so much time and energy to shouting at the rain was that he simply didn't get it. Well, I was wrong. Bob's problem isn't that he doesn't get it. Bob's problem is that he can't sell it. Nobody has ever won an election by talking about what I was just talking about. This is a country made up of people with hard jobs that they're terrified of losing. The roots of freedom are of little or no interest to them at the moment. We are a nation afraid to go out at night. We're a society that has assigned low priority to education and has looked the other way while our public schools have been decimated.
We have serious problems to solve, and we need serious men to solve them. And whatever your particular problem is, friend, I promise you, Bob Rumson is not the least bit interested in solving it. He is interested in two things and two things only: Making you afraid of it and telling you who's to blame for it. That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you win elections. You gather a group of middle-aged, middle-class, middle-income voters who remember with longing an easier time, and you talk to them about family and American values and personal character. Then you have an old photo of the President's girlfriend. You scream about patriotism and you tell them she's to blame for their lot in life, you go on television and you call her a whore. Sydney Ellen Wade has done nothing to you, Bob. She has done nothing but put herself through law school, prosecute criminals for five years, represent the interests of public school teachers for two years, and lobby for the safety of our natural resources.
You want a character debate? Fine, but you better stick with me, 'cause Sydney Ellen Wade is way out of your league. I've loved two women in my life. I lost one to cancer, and I lost the other 'cause I was so busy keeping my job I forgot to do my job. Well that ends right now. Tomorrow morning the White House is sending a bill to Congress for its consideration. It's White House Resolution 455, an energy bill requiring a 20 percent reduction of the emission of fossil fuels over the next ten years. It is by far the most aggressive stride ever taken in the fight to reverse the effects of global warming.
The other piece of legislation is the crime bill. As of today it no longer exists. I'm throwing it out. I'm throwing it out and writing a law that makes sense. You cannot address crime prevention without getting rid of assault weapons and handguns. I consider them a threat to national security, and I will go door to door if I have to, but I'm gonna convince Americans that I'm right, and I'm gonna get the guns. We've got serious problems, and we need serious men, and if you want to talk about character, Bob, you'd better come at me with more than a burning flag and a membership card. If you want to talk about character and American values, fine. Just tell me where and when, and I'll show up. This is a time for serious men, Bob, and your fifteen minutes are up. My name's Andrew Shepherd, and I am the President.
Inspiring people to believe in your cause is essential to winning a Presidential election. But you can’t only talk the talk, you have to walk the walk. Perhaps Aaron Sorkin, or at least the writers of The West Wing were psychics because they created a President that was modeled after a young charismatic senator that is only 271 electoral votes from being the first minority ever elected President. He made a speech at the Democratic Convention that inspired them to model Matt Santos on him and look how history turned out.
Presidential Nominee Matt Santos (Jimmy Smitts) The West Wing "2162 Votes" (2005)You know I’d been hoping to stand here tonight under very different circumstances, and I have been asked by people that I respect to take this opportunity to support one of the other fine candidates who have made this race with me, to help decide who our nominee will be. But I can’t do that. I can’t do that because it’s not my place to decide who our nominee should be. That decision is yours and yours alone. Now there has been a great deal made about Governor Baker’s decision not to disclose his wife’s minor medical condition. Many people believe that he should have. But I don’t believe Governor Baker failed to disclose it because he was ashamed or embarrassed. I think he didn’t disclose it because we’re the hypocrites, not the Bakers; because we’re all broken, every single one of us, and yet we pretend that we’re not. We all live lives of imperfection and yet we cling to this fantasy that there’s this perfect life and that our leaders should embody it. But if we expect our leaders to live on some higher moral plain than the rest of us, well we’re just asking to be deceived. Now it’s been suggested to me this week that I should try to buy your support with jobs, and the promise of access. It’s been suggested to me that party unity is more important than your democratic rights as delegates. That’s right it’s not. And you have a decision to make. Don’t vote for us because you think we’re perfect. Don’t vote for us because of what we might be able to do for you only. Vote for the person who shares your ideals, your hopes, your dreams. Vote for the person who most embodies what you believe we need to keep our nation strong and free. And when you have done that, you can go back to Seattle, and Boston, to Miami, to Omaha, to Tulsa and Chicago, and Atlanta with your head held high, and say, “I am a member of the Democratic Party.”
Presidents must console the nation and perhaps the world during a tragedy.
President Josiah “Jed” Bartlett (Martin Sheen) The West Wing "20 Hours in America"II(2002)...restoring abundance amid an economic shortfall, securing peace in a time of global conflict, sustaining hope in this winter of anxiety and fear. More than any time in recent history America’s destiny is not of our own choosing. We did not seek, nor did we provoke, an assault on our freedoms and our way of life. We did not expect, nor did we invite, a confrontation with evil. Yet the true measure of a people’s strength is how they rise to master that moment when it does arrive.
Forty-four people were killed a couple of hours ago at Kennison State University. Three swimmers from the men’s team were killed and two others are in critical condition, when, after having heard the explosion from their practice facility, they ran into the fire to help get people out. Ran into the fire.
The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels tonight. They’re our students, and our teachers, and our parents, and our friends. The streets of heaven are too crowded with angels, but every time we think we’ve measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we’re reminded that that capacity may well be limitless.
This is a time for American heroes. We will do what is hard. We will achieve what is great. This is a time for American heroes and we reach for the stars. God bless their memory, God bless you, and God bless the United States of America. Thank you.
President Thomas Whitmore (Bill Pullman) Independence Day (1996)Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world, and you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. Mankind. That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom… Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution… but from annihilation. We're fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!
President James Dale (Jack Nicholson) Mars Attacks! (1996)
I want the people to know that they still have 2 out of 3 branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad.
And sometimes, the best ideas can be summed up in less than six words just before dispatching an evil doer.
The President (Donald Pleasance) Escape From New York (1981)
You're the Duke! A Number One!
President James Marshall (Harrison Ford) Air Force One (1997)
Get off my plane!
Halloween (1978) Of course, we start off with the best and titular movie out there. Being only three years old when the low budget blockbuster was released, in the theater, I caught it probably 10 years later on cable and HBO. By then, the fourth movie had been in the theaters but the original still stands out as one of the greatest horror movies of all time. If there was a Mount Rushmore of horror icons, Michael Myers would be on it alongside Freddy Krueger, Jason Vorhees, and Leatherface. Of course some today would want to add Jig Saw to that mount but I think it’s just fine the way it is. Halloween is one of those quintessential movies that begs you turn off the lights, curl up on the couch, and wonder if you locked the door.
I suggest popping the first sequel in right after viewing the original, and a mandatory pee break. The other two should be watched back to back but it’s not mandatory for immediate viewing. Part II picks up right at the end of the first movie. The terror continues as everyone goes on the hunt for Myers while he terrorizes Laurie Strode at the hospital. Instead of the usual picking off of her friends en route to the climax, Myers picks off hospital employees, obviously enraged by trying to get his meds reimbursed from his HMO. Myers does manage to follow at least one rule of horror movies by killing a couple, for engaging in a sexual act. The film received a mixed reception from critics but it offers two important events, the connection between Myers and Laurie and the introduction of Jimmy Lloyd who serves as a love interest for Laurie. While any true horrorphile will tell you to stay away from less than excellent sequels, (cough) Season of the Witch (cough), especially when the original director and screenwriter are absent, I will give into the fact that Parts 4 and 5 are pretty good. Danielle Harris was brought into the mix as Jamie Lloyd, the daughter of Laurie and Jimmy. She appeared in both Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers and Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers. One would originally think that her “sister” Rachel would have been the 
Night of the Living Dead (1968). It’s not a Halloween themed movie, but I’ve already seen it on television three times this season. It’s a classic in anyone’s book. The original cult zombie movie offers all the isolation and dread that one could want on a dark and stormy night. You’ll take a second glance at the windows, making sure no recently deceased are hanging around outside looking to sell you damnation. You’ll be hooked in for the long haul from the first moment you hear Johnny spout, “They’re coming to get you, Barbara.” While, I do recommend viewing the sequels, it does tend to drag on and you’ve got a lot to get through. Besides, they lends themselves more to dread than the first one which is just pure popcorn cult horror.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) is again not a Halloween themed movie but being part of the Mount Rushmore of horror, Freddy Krueger is one bad mofo. Well, at least he was for the first and third movies. Don’t know why we had to stick that wussy Jesse (the character not the actor) into the second film as he just mucked it all up. Anywho, Freddy is at his best before he got all punny in the sequels, stalking each kid with violent glee. The first is the best as it is in so many horror movies. Krueger isn’t as visible on screen and his voice is modulated to sound more terrifying than funny as it does in later movies. You’ll be popping the No-Doz by the time Johnny Depp gets sucked into his bed, an eerie foreshadowing to his fate at the hands of the Kraken in Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest.
Poltergeist (1982) “They’re here!” No, it’s not trick or treaters, it’s the people under the pool. Poltergeist taps into the fears we all have has home owners and not just the housing crisis, although that is pretty scary in itself. It’s a great haunted house movie that kept me from ever going to sleep without looking under my bed for years. That whole clown scene probably what scared me more than the tree or the pool party with the corpses. Definitely watch this with someone you trust.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975). If you’re in a party mood or simply looking to dress up in a costume to watch a movie, may I suggest this musical mayhem. This might be the scariest movie of them all, if you are too conservative in thinking. My sophomore year I went to a cast party after our Spring musical and we had this playing on the television in the background. The family was a little older and well to do and when all the revelry began in full force, they asked their daughter to “shut that piece of trash off.”
Pure cheese but still a memorable show. The Brady Boys set out to scare the Brady Girls by using special effects that would make Uwe Boll sit up and applaud, before stealing the idea. A ghostly image outside the window is merely a projected slide found by the girls snooping in the boys room. Luckily, they didn’t find Greg’s stash of photos that he took with a concealed camera of Marcia bathing. Ok, I made that up. Anyway, it’s who has the bigger stones as the girls challenge the boys to sleep in the attic all night while they lay down some scary sound effects. Losing the bet and being chided by Alice for taking it, the kids team up to scare the B out of Ann B Davis. The only bust shown in this sugar pop party is the one of Mr. Brady sculpted by Mrs. Brady. It’s also the only body count we get, unless you count Tiger who disappeared in the previous season. Actually, the dog who played Tiger was killed by a car in season one and the replacement was only used when essential to the plot due to difficulty with the animal.
The annual fright fest and
punathon that is The Simpsons Halloween episode has got to be the longest running Halloween themed episode series on television. 18 years people! Pop Culture is neither safe nor spared from the sharpened claws of Springfield’s favorite family. Hopefully, after the show goes off the air, there will be a standalone DVD offering of every single episode from throughout the series. As it is by standard DVDs, the collection would be up to five discs not counting extras which is a mandatory inclusion in my opinion. Highlights from throughout the series include Bad Dream House, The Raven, The Monkey’s Paw, Clown Without Pity, Dial Z for Zombies, The Devil and Homer Simpson… Doh! Why bother, they all fantastic. At already 9 hours in running time, sprinkle these throughout your marathon like Looney Tunes shorts at the movies.
CHiPs episode “Trick or Trick” (1979) The hobgoblin radio broadcasts, the ghost of Karen Carpenter as a robber running down the street with a funky disco beat, the scavenger hunt gals that Jon and Ponch offer to look the other way for in exchange for a party invite. These are the reasons why I had to include this on the list. With as much cheese as The Brady Bunch, CHiPs is one of those craptastic shows I loved as a kid and this Halloween hour was no slouch fest on the part of the creators.
The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1949) The cartoon version of the Washington Irving classic was more scary to me than the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp film from 1999. Perhaps it was the dark New England style tone or the fact that the Headless Horseman chases Ichabod through the town to the bridge which serves as the boundary of the Horseman’s reach. The false sense of security is shattered as the Horseman hurls a Jack-o-lantern at Ichabod. The screen goes dark and Crane’s fate is left open to interpretation. This isn’t a happy ending folks. Although, it’s speculated that Crane slinks off to marry another woman and raises children who look like him, I still say he bought it at the bridge.
BTVS is one of those shows that was always praised yet rarely rewarded. Over the course of seven seasons the show consistently cranked out great material, even through much of the 4th, 5th, and 6th seasons which to me were a shift from Full Tilt Buffy. Starting off with Halloween we find Buffy and the Scoobies relegated to chaperoning children during Trick or Treat. After choosing costumes from Ethan Rayne’s shop they find that they have taken on the persona of their costume (Buffy as a Southern Belle, Xander as an Army Commando, and Willow as a ghost) which is in direct contrast to their naturally personalities. Well, all except Willow. Originally she was to appear in a slutty outfit but covered up with a ghost costume at the last minute. It should be noted that slutty Willow would eventually show up as a vampire from an alternate timeline in Season 3 and Xander’s Army Intelligence is constantly referred to throughout the series as a residual side effect from that night. 
Hush is probably one of the best BTVS episodes. It plays on the idea that there are a group of creatures called “The Gentleman” that resemble Reverend Kane from Poltergeist II. They move from town to town and steal the voices of the citizens leaving them to float around stealing seven hearts with surgical precision. The episode is great because it resembles a Tim Burton universe with a color palette stretching into the blue scale and a soundtrack reminiscent of Danny Elfman.
Fear, Itself brings Season 4 into Halloween mode as a frat house party turns into a real house of horrors. Partygoers find their worst fears have come to life thanks to a demonic sign drawn just for aesthetics and an accidental blood sacrifice. The official start of the running gag between Anya and bunnies starts here and runs for three more seasons. Great stuff.
This collection of episodes from one of the raunchiest yet smartest cartoons is sure to break up the scarefest nicely. From the first season, Pinkeye probably gives us the fastest time of death for Kenny (around 25 seconds) for any episode. The Mir space station is the culprit and Kenny is taken to the morgue for embalming. A bottle of Worcestershire sauce gets into the mix and turns Kenny into a zombie. Kenny then goes on a rampage infecting most of South park. The best bits are Cartman’s costume changes from Hitler to a member of the KKK and Chef leading the zombies in a Thriller dance break. 
Spookyfish is a classic if only for the Barbara Streisand heads in the corners of the screen promoting “Spooky Vision.” The episode plays on the Evil Parallel Dimension motif found in Star Trek where everyone has an opposite personality and a goatee. Evil Cartman, who is actually good, is the preferred twin and while trying to discover who’s brutally killing the residents of South Park, the rest of the boys attempt to banish the real Cartman and keep his hairy chinned twin.
Korn's Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery reeks of Scooby Doo goodness as the band Korn comes to South Park to play a show. Driving a van and being spooked by “Pirate Ghosts” leads to them joining up with the boys to figure out where Kyle’s dead grandmother ended up. Wendy wins first prize again in her Chewbacca costume and Kenny, of course, dies. 
Hell on Earth 2006 brings back a familiar face in Satan. Previously, Satan threw a boxing match with Jesus, dated, broke up with, and got back together with Saddam Hussein. Now he has decided that Halloween should be all about him and has decided to throw himself a Super Sweet 16 party and acts accordingly like a little brat in full Britney Spears, circa 1998, attire. Meanwhile, the boys attempt to summon Biggie Smalls ala Bloody Mary and succeed only to have him upset for being late to Satan’s party. While not the best South Park episode it does have the series trademark crassness with Steve Irwin appearing at the party with a stingray protruding from his chest. Satan chastises his guest for dressing as Irwin as it was “too soon to go there” but we find out that it really was Steve Irwin. Apparently, it doesn’t matter how good a person you are, everyone goes to Hell. Except Kenny who goes to Heaven to thwart Saddam’s attempt to overthrow Heaven in Best Friends Forever.
If Bugs Bunny cartoons weren't fantastic to begin with then including a few Halloween themed shorts ought to be freaking sweet. Broom-Stick Bunny introduces us to Witch Hazel who wants to be the ugliest of them all. A trick or treating Bugs in a witch costume takes the ugly prize as Hazel’s mirror declares Bugs uglier. When she realizes Bugs is a rabbit she finds he is one of the ingredients in a potion she was brewing. Wackiness ensues. 
Transylvania 6-5000 offers up one of the most hilarious premises. Bugs ends up in Pittsburghe, Transylvania by accident and mistakes the castle of Count Blood Count as a motel. After reading a book on magic, Bugs defends himself by reciting magic words, turning the Count back and forth from human to bat form at the most inopportune times. Then he just gets silly mixing and matching words and eventually turning the Count into Witch Hazel by saying “Newport News”
One of the few cartoon adaptations to actually measure up to its inspiration, TRG was way ahead of its time in terms of mythology and plot arcs. Rooted in actual mythos, the Ghostbusters dealt with specters and demons of all sorts, but only a few got reoccurring shots on the show. Samhain was perfect subject matter in regards to Halloween. He attempts to make Halloween night last forever and corrals all the ghosts in New York, including a reluctant Slimer. Eventually, he is captured and stored in the containment unit but you know he is going to return as Egon observes him waiting for a chance to return. That return would come a season later as two goblins release him from the containment unit.
Scariest Places On Earth (2000-2006) A no chance to fail idea. Get Linda Blair to narrate a show about the scariest places on Earth and have Zelda Rubenstein narrate it. How can you go wrong? Well, for starters, you over load the show with goofy antics from a radio DJ, Alan Robson, pretending to be a serious host. You promise to deliver the goods and never do so. Then, you blatantly misportray a group of New Jersey Devil Hunters and you pretty much kill your fan base. All foolishness aside, some of the episodes did offer up some scary treats but trying to add more and more episodes in a quick fashion didn't help. Some of the stand out locations that kind of freaked me out were of course, West Virginia State Pennitentiary and Bunny Man Bridge.
MTV’s Fear (2000) While a worthwhile premise brought reality television to the MTV crowd, ultimately, Fear suffered the same fate as every other show about supernatual hauntings, it failed to deliver the goods. Whether ghosts and spirits do not exist or refuse to sell out for Hollywood execs, you never see a one and a lot of the show was built upon the idea that the fear is real. Each contestant's imagination is sent full tilt with a backstory about the location. Mood lighting and sound effects add to the fear factor as they are dared to sit in a room for sometimes hours. The pressure to keep people interested more than likely led to the crew to stage some scenes such as the one with the La Guerre Plantation. At one point, a contestant is dared to sit under the covers of a bed in a supposedly haunted bedroom. A security camera records the room and suddenly the door slams. But this ghost has a visible human frame as it runs past the door when it opens back up. A crew member was obviously put up to slamming the door while the contestant was hidden under the covers. Still, the first episode was the best showing West Virginia State Pennitentiary which is a yearly Halloween attraction.
You can't get more Halloween than the biggest trick of all, convincing over people that Martians have invaded New Jersey. Orson Welles punk'd nearly two million people. It even caused Hitler to pretty much call us stupid for believing it. Adapted from H.G. Wells' novel, the radio broadcast plays out like any normal night, weather, music, then all of a sudden breaking news about a meteorite that crashed at a farm. From then, it goes full tilt destruction until the it ends with the aliens' demise due to the common cold. Nearly 60 years later, Jeff Goldblum would steal Welles' idea and use it in Independence Day
Friday the 13th (1980) We all do it. That sound which is actually "Ki, Ki, Ki, Ma, Ma, Ma" as in "Kill" and "Mommy". Jason Vorhees rounds out the old school slasher villians yet in the first mommy he was the the red herring. It was really Mommy doing all the murdering. While it is impossible for this movie to fall on Halloween, there was some talks about a Jason vs. Freddy sequel involving Michael Myers, but that makes you think that there was a true winner in the J vs. F fight. The loser however was the audience that actually sat through Jason X, Jason in space....and the future. Don't mess with the original I say, but then again, just like Halloween, Friday the 13th is getting a reboot. That's the real horror.
Vision Quest was one of those 80's movies that I was never allowed to see as a kid. I never understood why. Yeah, it was Rated R but the it only because of some of the sexual situations and some language. However, Louden was one of those characters that took high school to the next level. After turning 18, he all of a sudden decides to do something meaningful with his life. He decides to drop two weight classes in order to wrestle an undefeated rival. In the midst of his quest he jeopardizes his team dynamic, his relationships with his peers and mentors, and over all, his health. But this wouldn't be a coming-of-age 80's drama if it all didn't work out in the end. It has one of the better 80's soundtracks and an appearance by Michael Schoeffling as Kuch, sporting a pre Major League, Rick Vaughn, Veg-O-Matic hair cut. You'll know Schoeffling from Sixteen Candles as Jake and also on our list as Stud Number 2.
Molly (Jessica Alba) from Idle Hands
Link (Brendan Fraser) from Encino Man
Eugene Felnic (Eddie Deezen) from Grease
Nancy Downs (Fairuza Balk) from The Craft
Flash Thompson (Joe Manganiello) from Spider-Man
Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox) from Teen Wolf
Bobby Fantana (Lewis Smith) from The Heavenly Kid
Billy Tepper (Sean Astin) from Toy Soldiers