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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Places You Won't Find With OnStar

Travelling on vacation gives you plenty of sites to behold. Famous places dot the landscape of the country and gift shops work hard to make you take pieces of them home. Whether it be a shirt or key chain, there are plenty of reminders of your last trip to the Outer Banks or the Biggest Ball of Yarn in the U.S.

On my journeys, I have seen lots of those little oval stickers for various locations. Most are modeled after Imitation International Codes for places like the Outer Banks (OBX) or Martha’s Vineyard (MV) and a lot of times it’s not a sign of where you’ve been but a choice on where you’d like to be going.

With that in mind, I decided to throw up a few places you’ll never find on the map, and a couple you may.

Get a BFE Sticker
at Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! The Store!

Pretty self explanatory. It’s for Bum F*#k Egypt. That mythical place you always seemed to be parked at. We’ve all been there. Now we can boast about it.

Get an EJ Sticker
at Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! The Store!

Secondary to BFE is a location called East Jabib. In accordance, two people driving separate vehicles can never be parked in the same location.
“Where are you parked?”
“Oh, I’m in East Jabib.”

Get an HHA Sticker
at Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! The Store!

Hell’s Half Acre is more of a geographical region than an actual location BFE and EJ could technically be located in HHA. In other words…
“Where have you been?”
“I’ve been all over Hell’s Half Acre looking for a parking spot.”
“Where did you end up?”

Get a Cliffs of Insanity Sticker
at Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! The Store!

The Cliffs of Insanity are pretty treacherous. I don’t think you can get there by vehicle. In fact the only two ways known are to climb a rope or be harnessed to a giant, climbing a rope. This is part of my Princess Bride inspired series.

Get a Fire Swamp Sticker
at Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! The Store!

Once again, another Princess Bride inspired sticker based on the Fire Swamp. Another treacherous location boasting three terrors. In fact, there are warnings posted as well.

Get Fire Swamp Warnings on a shirt
Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! The Store!

Get a Pechin's Sticker
at Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! The Store!

Here is your one real location in the bunch. It’s an homage to a local shopping village in Southwestern Pennsylvania which is well known across the country in certain circles. Pechin’s has been around forever and for awhile, it looked it. Missing areas of floor, fabled rats in the burgers, all the creature comforts of a economically depressed South of Pittsburgh. The shanty town style village recently relocated into an empty mall nearby before the village burned to the ground. Hmmm.

That’s all for now from Rand McMongo.

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