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Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Daddy Needs a Brand New Pair of Shoes

I hurt my foot.

It REALLY hurts.

I cut grass on Saturday and could barely walk at the end of the day.

I think I’m dying.

Seriously, I thought I broke my foot . The big toe on my left foot throbs and it’s hard to bend without any serious pain. After the weekend, I mentioned my symptoms to a coworker, who immediately said, “That’s gout!” Well, my father has gout. So, I ran it by him and he said it could very well be gout. So, I looked it up on Google and self diagnosed my condition.

I have two weeks to live.

They should never let us use Google to diagnose ourselves. We end with brain cancer every time. It’s like a choose your own adventure that always ends up in death.

So, I took half a day, yesterday and went to the doctor. I had a 2:30 appointment and sat in the waiting room for a half hour. I know this, because it was 3:05 as they were finally taking me in the back to check my blood pressure and all that. Then, I sat in a room until 4:10 before I saw the doctor.

The diagnosis? Bruised foot. Get better shoes.

Well, it just harkens back to the three things my mother always to not skimp on in life.
  • Take good care of your teeth.
  • Get a good mattress.
  • Get a good pair of shoes.
Mothers are smart.

The worst part about all this was having to spend all that time to find out I have bad shoes. I paid $20 for that advice and two hours of my time. I could have gone to MedExpress, spent $35 and probably been home in an hour. It’s a bit ridiculous. You just cannot get into your PCP in a timely manner anymore. Instead, you sit out in the waiting room, absorbing everyone else’s illness so that your guaranteed to be back next week with a more legitimate illness.

I have a brain cloud, by the way.

Google confirmed it this morning. 

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