Rust Butt

If you were a modern day scientist or astronomer and went back in time to the Renaissance or even ancient Greece, imagine how silly explanations for every day events would sound. After all, Aristotle thought that maggots spontaneously generated from rotting flesh. And even in Gallileo’s time, there was debate on whether sun revolved around the Earth or vice versa.

But, you don’t have to be a scientist or a time traveler to enjoy the hilarity of how simple things are explained by someone not sure of what is actually happening. You just need to have a kid nearby.

I give you, my daughter’s explanation of rust butt. Now, to set this up, I have to explain that last August we went to a local park with a giant metal slide. It’s pretty well known in the area. To ride it, people usually take wax paper or cardboard to keep from cut down on the friction. On her first trip down the slide, my kid lost the wax paper and managed to get the equivalent to an Indian Rug Burn on her ass. She waited seventh months to come up with this theory.

Daugter: “Remember when we went down the giant slide and it rained?”
Me: “Yeah.”

Daughter: “I actually know how that happened.”

Me: “What?”

Daughter: “I know how my butt got all red.”

Me: “OK. How?”

Daughter: “Well, the slide was made of metal and my butt was wet. (from the rain) And water and metal don’t go well together, so my butt was red because it rusted.”

She’ll be up for the Noble prize in physics by third grade, I’m sure of it.