Han Didn't Shoot First

It’s an argument for the geek masses. Much like Kirk vs. Picard, Star Trek vs. Star Wars and Jar Jar vs. the Ewoks, some controversies will die hard. The lone gunman theory dominated my parents’ generation and here, in mine, there is the same debate.

This debate, of course, is whether Han Solo shot first in Star Wars: A New Hope.

Most people familiar with the original 1977 film, or at least those purists who denounce the constant re-releases of the films with new or changed scenes, usually agree that Han Solo did indeed shoot first and not after Greedo missed him at point blank range.

To think that Greedo had to fire first in order to preserve Han’s morality is ridiculous. Regardless of the outcome, Han was simply defending himself from a clear and present danger. Greedo intended to kill Han to collect the bounty on his life.

From the word go, people have fought this point and Lucas, feeling he needed to instill a sense of morals in his scruffy looking nerf herder, inserted a laser blast from Greedo as well as a CGI shift in Han’s position to make it look as it was truly a duel instead of homicide. Geeks raged on and the film was edited again to make it appear as if Greedo and Han shot almost simultaneously. Still the debate continued as t-shirts appeared, declaring, “Han Shot First”.

Han Shot First We knew this guy once named Han Liebowitz, and one day at a bar he and this other guy got in a fight, so Han shot him! Crazy!! 100% cotton, heavyweight t-shirt in black with "Han Shot First" in white printed on the front. Check out their comic at pvponline.com.

But this is entirely false.  Han did not shoot first.  Why?

"Greedo Never Shot" T-Shirts & Hoodies by AngryMongo RedBubble:

Need proof?  Here’s the original scene from the 1977 film.

Case closed.

End of Days of Thunder

The Bargument. A time honored tradition of libation induced debates over the most banal of topics. "Who was the better Captain, Kirk or Picard?" "Who would win in a fight, 40 midgets or a lion?" These questions have no right or wrong answer, yet drunken patrons argue their point into the wee hours of the morning. The unwillingness to back down is only comparable to the current race for the Democratic Presidential ticket. Neither side will admit defeat.
In my office, we have the same setup for debates, unfortunately, without the alcohol. Recently, a coworker and avid movie fan like myself debated whether or not NASCAR fans truly like Days of Thunder or as I call it, "Top Run." I argue that true NASCAR fans cannot look at the film without losing their nachos. He argues that NASCAR fans sit around on non race days watching the film over and over again. We had a similar debate over which was the more favored movie of firefighters, Backdraft or Ladder 49. He contended that the boys in red sat around the firehouse watching Backdraft while I held my position that maybe volunteer firefighters hold Backdraft in high regard, but full fledged firefighters found it laughable and unrealistic compared to Ladder 49.
The basis for my argument against NASCAR fans love of Days of Thunder is rooted in the idea that no true NASCAR fan can take Tom Cruise seriously. Cruise had made a run of movies in the mid 80's to early 90's that relied on the premise that even though his character had either no formal training or experience in his occupation, the screenplays were written in such a way that, above all, his character was the best of the best and no one else could touch him in the end.
Granted, Days of Thunder's story is based on actual events that have happened in the world of NASCAR racing but something about a white toothed, floppy haired, Scientologist sans accent claiming that he can win Daytona in a year just rubs me the wrong way. But remember rubbing is racing.
In fact, I'd be willing to bet at the End of Days there will be an ultimate answer to all barguments and somehow The Almighty will side with me. I don't think he'll hold Cruise's choice of pseudo religion against him in his ruling, but I think he'll choose 3: The Dale Earnhardt Story as a better film. Actually, I hope he doesn't. That would prove God fallible and would unmake existence. That film has more things wrong with it than Speed Zone.
Of course, this bargument has been altered since our original debate. It is no longer whether or not NASCAR facs like/dislike Days of Thunder, but which is the better NASCAR movie, Days of Thunder or Talladega Nights: The Legend of Ricky Bobby.
In my opinion, it doesn't matter. I say let's decide between Stroke Ace and Driven. I say Stroker Ace wins hands down.

For more Barguments check out the website and buy the book from Amazon.com or drive on down to your local library. It's all in the books.