WUMF: June 2013 Edition

Another month, another WUMF

Obligatory YouTube update

So, far, I’ve made a whopping $1.55   YAY!  

At this point, I am spending more money than I am making on the effort.   I am still working to pinpoint what I can do to increase traffic, outside of spending more money.    Is my presence on YouTube unknown?  Does my content suck?  Am I just not doing anything interesting?   Not sure.  As a YouTuber, or potential YouTuber, your mileage may vary.    

My videos with the most views were ones where I was unable to play a game due to technical issues with recording the video and what sucks is I spent $50 on a game I can’t record.  Which, had I know I couldn’t record it, I wouldn’t have bought it for Windows.  Granted, we’re still only talking 2000+ views. 

I enjoy playing video games and I like to have fun.  Maybe people don’t want to listen to me talk while I play.  Maybe I should focus on just presenting game play.   Yet, if I just produce the content and don’t inject personality into it, is there a point?  I’d basically be making money off of other’s work.    I wouldn’t be bringing anything new to the table.   What I need is some objective opinions about my work… but that means views.  You know what that means?  It’s a pity party and I want you all to come commiserate with me.

The Birds

Not one, not two, but four birds tried to commit suicide in front of my car this morning.  What the hell?  Not to mention, yesterday, on the way to dinner, I nearly saw one bite it on the front end of a truck at an intersection.

Why do they insist on hanging out on the roads or flying low.  THEY HAVE WINGS, GODAMMIT!  They can fly higher than the telephone wires.  They don’t need to be doing Death Star trench runs on PA highways.

Last of Us

OK, I think I know my YouTube problem.  I suck at games.  This is probably one of the most anticipated games this year and I’ve played all of 15 minutes of it.  Furthermore, I dropped $100 on a video capture device to record PS3 play but I can’t do stealth worth a damn.   At one point, I actually picked up a bottle and chucked it at a guy’s head by accident.   The game is also very slow to start, disguising the early action as a tutorial.  

However, my game time is limited because my kid has been up later due to it being summer.   When she goes to bed, I’m ready to go, too.  

Cabin in the Woods

I was hesitant to want to watch this because I didn’t think I would like it.   First of all, the trailer gave away the basic plot, which was a bit disappointing.  I usually would kill to see anything Wheddonesque but I was a not feeling this.  Then I went and spoiled the rest of the movie by reading the plot.

I found the answer though.  Watch this in a group… on someone’s back porch during Summer… while drinking alcohol.   It was a great time and I enjoyed the film.  It redeemed itself because it wasn’t trying to disguise itself as a horror movie.  It was an open faced cliché.   The fact that I could pick out so many references and a few that almost slipped by was hilarious.

Pinin' For the Fjords

My kid has grasped many concepts in her five years.  She’s quite astute and has a well developed sense of humor.  While she does not excel in straight forward joke telling, she’s got the observational and dry wit part down pat, as you have probably read in past posts.  However, she equally impressed and disappointed me in the span of five hours.

Sunday, we went to the Aviary in Pittsburgh.  The West entrance is a parent’s nightmare as it opens right into the gift shop.  This is like crack for my child.  She immediately wanted a stuffed animal as she is a stuffed animal junkie.  We managed to get through the next three hours without having to buy something but on our way out, I caved.  For $12 and ten minutes worth of heavy decision making, she settled on a parrot.  As we walked up to the counter, she took the parrot and flipped it on its back.  She then elbowed me and said, “Look, Daddy… Dead Parrot.” 

Now, I’m not sure if it’s a genetic or instinctual thing for her, but it made me laugh out loud.   I was raised on Python.  My father, the corruptor, had all three of us well versed in British humor from the likes of Python, Dave Allen, and Benny Hill.  So, this was a particularly proud moment.  Why?  I was once reprimanded, not severely, but shamed nonetheless, by our quality team in my old job over this love of Python.  I worked at a medical manufacturer and included in the return authorization for broken equipment various phrases from The Dead Parrot Sketch.  Apparently, the FDA does not have a sense of humor.  Perhaps they are German.

To have my child, who to my knowledge has never seen or heard The Dead Parrot sketch, say to me, “Look, Daddy… Dead Parrot” almost made me question that whole genetic vs. instinct issue.  However, not more than five hours later, after much debate about leaving the parrot at home while we went out, it joined the invisible choir.   The foot fell off and she freaked.   I left her in the car with her mother while I ran into the store.  She continued to sob while I had much needed away time from the situation.  After calming down from my fit of, “We spend money on stuff and it gets broke” to  “Why can’t you just leave it at home and it won’t get broke”, I busted out into a fit of laughter as my wife informed me that our child wanted to take the parrot home and bury it.  Literally put it in a box and bury it. 

So, after getting home and unloading the car, I dug up some needle and thread and she waited patiently while I performed surgery on her bird.

I called her over and she examined it.  It’s one foot was now a little shorter than the other but it passed.   As we put her to bed, bird in hand, she kissed me and said, “You did a good job.  A girl would have done better, but it’s OK.”