2013 D-Bag Awards Round One: Tsarnaev Brothers vs. Kardyeezy

Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev vs. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian

 

This was a hard matchup to justify.  The only common thread between them was that there was a coupling of sorts.  On one hand you the Brothers Tsarnaev, responsible for the most notable terrorist attack on American soil since 9/11, when they carried out a plot to bomb the Boston Marathon in April.  On the other hand, you hand you have Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.  Their celebrity elevates them to new heights of douchebaggery.  Their whole existence as a couple and what they bring to the table in terms of being worthwhile news is pretty much what’s wrong with the country.  Kim as a role model and Kanye with his continued bouts of “I am the second coming” pretty much make we wish he had never finished.  Then again, it’s not their kid’s fault that they are like they are. 

However, are they the bigger douchebags?

The answer?

Not even close.

The Brothers Tsarnaev get that honor.  THEY KILLED PEOPLE.  Nuff said, move on North by North West!  Let’s hope that kid learns really quick to distance themselves from the ridiculousness.

2013 D-Bag Awards Round One: Anthony Weiner vs. George Zimmerman

We gotta hurry up.  We’re running out of days.

Anthony Weiner vs. George Zimmerman

Another odd pairing, I admit, but I am not going to sit and judge them based on their initial crimes.  If that were the case, Zimmerman would have been winner, hands down.  Not to mention, the shooting of Trayvon Martin did not occur in 2013, so we can’t look to that as a deciding factor.  No, this heat all about second chances gone wrong. 

For Zimmerman, it started before 2013 with him and just continued.  There were traffic stops for moving violations in which he negligently had firearms out while officers spoke to him.  Then, there were several incidences where police were called because of domestic disputes and George was placed under arrest, only to be released later on with no charges filed.   So, either the guy is a danger to himself and others and has frequent access to firearms, or he’s a victim of a “Cry Wolf” scenario by his girlfriend.  Honestly, I really don’t know where the fault lies because for every incident, it’s gets walked back.   The problem is, George keeps getting into the media.

Then you Carlos Danger aka Anthony Weiner.  He got in loads of trouble for texting his unit to women in 2011, while he was in Congress, and in 2013, he just couldn’t keep it in his pants.    And he did this while running for Mayor of New York.  More texting scandals came out and then it became a politically charged issue because his wife’s boss is Hillary Clinton.   Once again, Anthony Weiner had a chance to slink away and fight another day, but he just couldn’t do that.  So, is he a victim of his desire or some politically charged plot to undermine campaigns?

The verdict?  Geogre Zimmerman

OK, it was slanted.  Zimmerman had way more against him going in, but like I said, this was about second chances.  But while Carlos Danger simply couldn't keep himself from being textually active, Zimmerman continues to put himself in awkward positions.  Depending on what you think about his acquittal, he got away with it, like O.J. Simpson.  Lay low, try and improve yourself and stay away from the spotlight.  But he couldn't.  So, he's the bigger douche bag.  Regardless of who is at fault, him or his girlfriend, he does not get to be innocent in the eyes of the public.  We get our due in another round.  It's a two way street that you just have to rise above and he didn't do it.

WUMF: October 2013 GIRAFFE Edition

I think someone should dress as a giraffe for Halloween and go around trick or treating with their head hung in shame.

Why?

Because, while it is not obvious what the inside joke would be, the social scientist in me would love to see how many people would immediately think of that goofy meme upon seeing a giraffe coming up their walk.    There would not even be an acknowledgement of sorts, just "What answer did you give?"  And you would know.  You would flat out know that two complete strangers would have that connection based on social media.

By the way, the answer is "The door."
No matter how many people say eyes, the given circumstance is that you have already woke up because you know your parents are on the front stoop with goodies.  So, the only thing you can open first, with that pretense, is the door.

Frankly, my parents are in their 70s and if they show up on my doorstep with a basket of food at 3AM, I'm calling the cops.