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Monday, December 20, 2010

2010 D-Bag Awards Round One: Jock D-Bags

First up are the playmakers and d-baggers of the sports world. We’ve got infidelity, drunken antics, pictures of winkies being texted, team changers, and a power tripping commissioner.

Tiger Woods
His biggest act of dickery came in 2009. He had cheated on his wife, Elin Nordgren and completely destroyed his persona of this elite golfer with a genial appeal. 2010 kicked off with the discovery of many different women Tiger had given the long ball to. Making matters worse, Tiger had a subpar year in golf, missing the cut at the Masters and various low placing spots in the other Majors events. There was also the creepy, egotistical ad campaign from Nike involving a video which featured narration by his Dad, the late Earl Woods. Did he learn anything? Probably not. It will be some time before Tiger returns to form. Of course, if he were to retire tomorrow, he’d still be able to live lavishly.

Tiger Woods Commercial Narrated By His Late Father

Ben Roethlisberger
Ben can look back at 2009, from a professional standpoint and be proud. His personal stats were phenomenal, breaking franchise records left and right. Even though the Steelers failed to make the playoffs, Ben’s performance rating was great, overall. However, off the field his antics in a Georgia bar landed him in the hot seat which kicked off 2010 with an investigation into possible sex assault charges, which were dropped due to lack of evidence, and a four game suspension, which was upheld due to lack of common sense by the NFL and fellow nominee Roger Goodell. But Ben has made good on his suspension, completing whatever steps he needed to earn his way back into the good graces of the league. Even if there are chants of “No means no!” in the event that Ben plays in his third Super Bowl appearance in February, you cannot argue that Ben is a tough as nails player, shrugging off a broken foot, broken nose, a inexperienced and struggling offensive line, and the constant evil eyes he gets from those who feel he was guilty of a crime in order to continually win games for his team. You have to wonder if maybe he’s playing at this level and through the adversity in order to redeem himself in the eyes of his team and his fans. Odds are, if he hoists a Lombardi trophy in Dallas, this coming February, he’s probably going to be given a pass. I won’t say that I, personally, have not forgiven him for his attitude off the field but, I’m just glad he got rid of that stupid haircut. He may still be a lifelong d-bag and only the off season will tell.

Big Ben Story on WTAE

LeBron James
James played in Cleveland for seven years without bringing home a championship. In July, he became a free agent and began being courted by other teams in the NBA. His biggest dick move came from holding a televised special announcing his decision to leave Cleveland for Miami. Now, free agency is what it is. I am not bothered by the fact that LeBron left Cleveland. I am bothered by the fact that he informed his employers just minutes before the LIVE telecast and wasted all of America’s time with such a piece of self-inflated egotistical douchebaggery.

LeBron Interview and Decision

Brett Favre
When it comes time for Brett Favre to be inducted into the Football Hall of Fame, no one will deny his deserving of being there, not even me. However, the fact that he should have retired um, 1000 times already makes him the number one sports douchebag in my book, alone. How many times will he make the world wait to see if he’ll decide to leave the farm and go to camp? How many backup quarterbacks will join teams hoping for a legitimate shot of starting, only to have Brett say, “Hmm, should I retire? Hmmm, naaaaahhh!” Then again, how many times are we going to have to use bleach on our minds to scrub away the image of Little Brett being texted to Jen Sterger? The QB supposedly sent inappropriate texts, including one of his Mini Viking to Sterger in 2008, along with voice mails. He admitted to the voice mails but denied he was the one who sent the texts. Whether he acted on all those bad intentions he had, this much is for sure. The lack of disciplinary action against Favre for these acts just makes Roger Goodell look more and more like the king of all d-bags.

Pants on the Ground Foreshadowing?

Derek Jeter
Love them or hate them, the Yankees are an elite ball club. They play to win, even if they have to cheat to do it. Back in September, a pitch bounced off the end of Jeter’s bat and Jeter pretended to be hit. He even had the trainer look at his arm in an effort to sell his injury. Taking his base gave the Yankees a chance to score, helping their race to the playoffs. While Instant Replay isn’t used in baseball in this fashion, repeated viewings of the clip, clearly shows the bat being hit and Jeter admitted as much, later. So, is what he did cheating or just part of the game? Yeah, his job is to get on base and help his team win games, but what does that say to all the impressionable young fans and players he has become a role model to? Win at all costs and don’t get caught. Bud Selig should take a page out of Goodell’s book and start fining players for poor sportsmanship. Then again, the Yankees would probably get preferential treatment like certain Hair Club For Men Members QB’ing up North.

Jeter Cheeter

And The Winner – LeBron James
LeBron may not have cheated in basketball, assaulted anyone, sent inappropriate pictures of himself or cheated on his wife, like the others, but his actions involving his decision to leave Cleveland were ridiculous. The town is not the greatest, I get that. But they welcomed you in 2003 and cheered you on, buying merchandise with your number and likeness. In turn, just because you didn’t get that brass ring, you decided that their devotion was second or third rate and jumped ship to a better team. And you did for the publicity. You went on live television and indirectly declared that your decision to go to Miami should more important and newsworthy than a war in Afghanistan, a environmental disaster in the Gulf of Mexico, a natural disaster in Haiti, and any number of issues this country has faced coming out of the recession. Kudos LeBron, you are the biggest D-Bag of this round.

Honorable mention time
I wanted to limit the category to five nominees but had to at least mention Steve Johnson of the Buffalo Bills because he blamed God for him dropping a game winning catch against the Steelers. And to top it all off, he did it over Twitter. Granted, the continual praising and thanking of God for anyone’s abilities to make millions of dollars to play a sport has become so blasé that it demeans a higher power and comes off as inauthentic. However, blasted said higher power and the fact that you did it over a social network like Twitter just makes you look like a complete ass.

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