Jackasses Dead And Alive

Ryan Dunn was a Jackass. There, I said it. Is it hurtful and despicable to say that in light of his death? No. He was a member of Jackass. In truth, I couldn’t remember which one he was until it was mentioned that he’s the one that stuck the toy car up his arse in the first Jackass movie. Then, it triggered a faint recollection. Other than that, his fame was lost on me.

Just after his death being reported, Roger Ebert tweeted something about the incident and it set off a firestorm of tweet rage among other celebrities, or those who claim to be. “Too soon” and “hurtful to families” was thrown about. Was it too soon? Does it matter? This is the age of the Internet, where everything is presented, digested, regurgitated, debated, and beaten like a dead horse in the matter of minutes. If Roger Ebert were to come back with that quip about Ryan being a jackass, say next year, it would be lost in the sea of trending topics.

Should Ebert have said it? Why not? He’s an observer of entertainment and media. He’s allowed to say whatever he wants and people are allowed to disagree with it.

Was he wrong? In my opinion, no, he was not. Look, the truth about what actually took place will not come out for days, maybe weeks or maybe ever. At the speed of a 140 characters per minute we take whatever news we get, vetted or not and run with it. Details evolve, change, get refuted and transmuted in the now and it’s ridiculous to think that it will ever go back to the way it was before social media eliminated credibility among informative sources.

The word on the tubes was that Ryan posted a picture of him drinking with two other people about two hours before he decided to drive. He was said to have had three beers and three shots over an indeterminate amount of time. It was also probable that he was driving his Porsche at a high rate of speed of around 130-140 mph. Of course, why wouldn’t you, if you were driving a Porsche; drinking or not?  It was also determined that his BAC was 0.19, twice the legal limit.  Drunk and driving a Porsche at that speed is asking for trouble, though I cannot conceive the idea that six alcoholic beverages made a huge difference in the constitution of someone like him. He simply had the odds stacked against him.

And Dunn didn’t just do this to himself. There was a passenger involved, too. Dunn’s car flew about 40 yards, through the trees before bursting into flame as it hit the last one. Regardless of all else, his tragedy affects not only his family, but also the family of his passenger. This could have ended in other ways, too. There could have been another vehicle and another fatality involved.

Why lionize what could have been avoidable? He did something stupid. He paid the price and took someone with him. He was a jackass. And guess who else is a jackass, Perez Hilton. He has the nerve to blast Roger Ebert for making an offhanded comment. This is the same guy that claimed Michael Jackson, going into cardiac arrest, was a publicity stunt.

Not to mention posting a picture of Miley Cyrus’s nether regions, supposedly without garments in what could have been considered child pornography. Not that I care all that much about Hanna Montana being critically damaged by Hilton but it was still wrong and Hilton hastily covered his tracks removing the picture. Do you think he wants to go to jail? Oh, and Hilton invades all kinds of privacy by publicly shaming closeted celebrities into coming out or revealing them like he’s judge, jury and executioner in the court of public appeal. Guess what, d-bag. It is neither your right nor your job to say whether or not someone needs to come out. Talk about bullying. In fact, what the hell is your job? Oh that’s right… third grade level graphic designer and blogger. Too effing bad, I already have that job. Go away.

If anyone should be apologizing, it should be the Internet for giving an account to Perez Hilton, not Ebert. And it seems as if the Internet agrees more with Ebert than Hilton. Score one for journalism and credibility.