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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Colonel Has Run Out Of Chicken

I think I talked about the trials and tribulations of going to the local KFC in Irwin, PA. Oh, that’s right. I was supposed to and didn’t. I opted to stroll down memory lane, instead. Well, let me give you the basics. The KFC in Irwin sucks! How do I know? Every time I go there they screw up the order or flat out don’t have what I want.

On an evening back in June I went in to pick up dinner for my family and sat there, waiting, for a half hour while they made more chicken. Apparently, they don’t understand that the F and the C in their name stands for Fried Chicken… as in they sell it. This is more of an atrocity than the time that Smokey Bones ran out of chicken because they sell other things but when the actual name of the store contains the word chicken in it, you would expect them to actually have some to sell. But no, I had to wait until they made more. Then, they actually shorted me two pieces.

This was the second time I had an issue. Earlier in the year, they had this confusing circle of fail concerning how to actually order a meal. The ability to actually choose which type of chicken I wanted (leg, thigh, wing, etc.) became a point of contention and they ended up screwing up the division of parts.

Then, this last weekend, my father-in-law got a hankering for some KFC and we decided to go get a 16 piece bucket meal with a coupon he had. It was 16 pieces, however we sliced it, two large sides and eight biscuits. Plenty of food to feed four of us and have some leftovers for lunch the next day. So, I walked in and asked for the bucket and said, “Can I pick which pieces I want?”

They said, “Sure. It usually comes with four of each type, but if you want to substitute breasts for the others, there is an up-charge.”

“Not a problem. I just wanted to know if I could do four wings, four thighs, and then eight drumsticks of extra crispy.”

“Um, we don’t have enough drumsticks.”

Now, normally, most people would not really care. However, usually, my wife only likes the drumsticks and I prefer them if I can get them. Because I was on the third go around with these people, I had a bit of an attitude.

“You mean you are out of chicken? OK, well, how about six drumsticks and you offset the difference with a couple of breasts at no extra charge?”

“Yeah, we don’t have enough of either. Now, you can do four extra crispy and four original drumsticks.”

“Look, I’m just the messenger. I was told to get extra crispy. I’ll need to make a quick call. Can I please have back my coupon that you just crumpled up?”

So, I went outside and called my wife. “What’s wrong this time?” See, she already knew this was a bad idea and I hadn’t even spoken yet.

“They’re out of chicken.”

“What do you mean they’re out of chicken? This is like the time Smokey Bones ran out of…”

“I know! Look, will you be OK with some original recipe drumsticks?”

“Yeah, fine.”

So, I went back in and gave her the coupon and told her I’d take four of each recipe of drumsticks and I was on my way.

This all still begs the question, “How does Kentucky Fried Chicken run out of chicken?!?!”

‘Eff it. I’m going to Popeye’s.

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