Happy end of the month. That means it’s time for another thrilling installment of WUMF!
I started this bit last year as a way to kind of wrap up the little things that happened throughout the month that don’t normally make it into the regular posts. Of course, that is hard to do because that means I have to remember stuff. It’s not like I could write it down. That requires planning and organization and it really throws off my chaotic mess of a life.
That being said, I give WUMF for what I can remember about January.
S#!t My Kid Says
People tell me I could write a book just based on the stuff my daughter says in everyday situations. I don’t think I could exploit her like that for profit. I mean there are so many other good ways to exploit her for profit that I hate to narrow it down to just one medium. I don’t know. Maybe t-shirts. Lolkid? Hmmm.
Anyway, this past weekend, for some reason, my four year old was enthralled with how the toilet works. She asked, "What's in there?" pointing to the tank. So, I explained that was where the water comes from in order to cause the toilet to flush and how the water line works and fills the tank back up. I also showed her how the water shuts off all by itself.
Her response? "Wow, the potty is soooo cool!"
Traffic Woe #458
We had a landslide on the Parkway East right before the West bound entrance to the Squirrel Hill Tunnels. It happened after or at the end of morning rush hour and they cleaned it up pretty good by 4PM so that both lanes were flowing. Yet, traffic heading East bound through the tunnel grind to a screeching halt. Why? WTAE Channel 4 news vans were parked outside the tunnel with tripods set up.
Did commuters think they would see Sally Wiggin out there? Are we that sad as a society that the local news anchors are that big of a celebrity that we have to grind traffic to a screeching halt because we may catch a glimpse of them? Don’t get me wrong, I’d feel a little star struck if I actually met Sally. Hell, I felt a bit in awe of meeting Jennifer Miele outside a restaurant and my wife knew her growing up. Still, is that a real reason to slow down afternoon traffic. Look, if you want to see the news, hurry home and you can catch it on television.
All Star/Pro Games
Can we all just agree that these are a joke and hold no real value. I mean, other than getting to see your favorite player if you don’t get to see them on a regular basis because they play in a different city than you is the only real reason to watch. It can’t be to see an actual sporting event because nobody does anything. The defense might as well not even show up at the NHL and NFL versions because it’s not like they are supposed to actually do anything to stop the score from being a zillion to a gajillion. (I’m still working with the Math kings to get that into an actual number.) And the voting process is crap for all of them. Four Ottawa Senators playing?
It seems like the only game that holds any meaning is the MLB All Star game because the winning side (AL/NL) gets home field advantage in the World Series. I think they need to make these games more enjoyable. How about like Rock and Jock was back in the 90s. Obstacles, like cows, out in the field that you have to maneuver around. For the NFL? What about something along the lines of American Gladiators style competitions. NBA? How about a big ole game of HORSE or two on two games. Maybe even take it back to the old Bird/Jordan commercials and do shots from the stands or ridiculous bank shots.
Something, people! Come on!
I bought a new light for above the vanity over Christmas. I finally got it up and running. The explanation requires more than a paragraph so be on the lookout for that fiasco and more home improvements, coming soon.