Happy end of the month. That means it’s time for another thrilling installment of WUMF!
I started this bit last year as a way to kind of wrap up the little things that happened throughout the month that don’t normally make it into the regular posts. Of course, that is hard to do because that means I have to remember stuff. It’s not like I could write it down. That requires planning and organization and it really throws off my chaotic mess of a life.
That being said, I give WUMF for what I can remember about January.
S#!t My Kid Says
People tell me I could write a book just based on the stuff my daughter says in everyday situations. I don’t think I could exploit her like that for profit. I mean there are so many other good ways to exploit her for profit that I hate to narrow it down to just one medium. I don’t know. Maybe t-shirts. Lolkid? Hmmm.
Anyway, this past weekend, for some reason, my four year old was enthralled with how the toilet works. She asked, "What's in there?" pointing to the tank. So, I explained that was where the water comes from in order to cause the toilet to flush and how the water line works and fills the tank back up. I also showed her how the water shuts off all by itself.
Her response? "Wow, the potty is soooo cool!"
Traffic Woe #458
We had a landslide on the Parkway East right before the West bound entrance to the Squirrel Hill Tunnels. It happened after or at the end of morning rush hour and they cleaned it up pretty good by 4PM so that both lanes were flowing. Yet, traffic heading East bound through the tunnel grind to a screeching halt. Why? WTAE Channel 4 news vans were parked outside the tunnel with tripods set up.
Did commuters think they would see Sally Wiggin out there? Are we that sad as a society that the local news anchors are that big of a celebrity that we have to grind traffic to a screeching halt because we may catch a glimpse of them? Don’t get me wrong, I’d feel a little star struck if I actually met Sally. Hell, I felt a bit in awe of meeting Jennifer Miele outside a restaurant and my wife knew her growing up. Still, is that a real reason to slow down afternoon traffic. Look, if you want to see the news, hurry home and you can catch it on television.
All Star/Pro Games
Can we all just agree that these are a joke and hold no real value. I mean, other than getting to see your favorite player if you don’t get to see them on a regular basis because they play in a different city than you is the only real reason to watch. It can’t be to see an actual sporting event because nobody does anything. The defense might as well not even show up at the NHL and NFL versions because it’s not like they are supposed to actually do anything to stop the score from being a zillion to a gajillion. (I’m still working with the Math kings to get that into an actual number.) And the voting process is crap for all of them. Four Ottawa Senators playing?
It seems like the only game that holds any meaning is the MLB All Star game because the winning side (AL/NL) gets home field advantage in the World Series. I think they need to make these games more enjoyable. How about like Rock and Jock was back in the 90s. Obstacles, like cows, out in the field that you have to maneuver around. For the NFL? What about something along the lines of American Gladiators style competitions. NBA? How about a big ole game of HORSE or two on two games. Maybe even take it back to the old Bird/Jordan commercials and do shots from the stands or ridiculous bank shots.
Something, people! Come on!
Home Renovations
I bought a new light for above the vanity over Christmas. I finally got it up and running. The explanation requires more than a paragraph so be on the lookout for that fiasco and more home improvements, coming soon.
Stay Excellent!
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Showing posts with label Shit my kid says. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shit my kid says. Show all posts
Monday, January 30, 2012
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Four Seasons To a Four Year Old
Bailey on Christmas Morning
Twice a week, I pick my daughter up from the petri dish that is Kinder Care. This is where she got the stomach flu from last week. Apparently, there were four cases prior to hers and we just found out about them today.
On our drive home we discuss what she did that day and I ask her, "Were you good, today?" to which she replies, "Check the sheet, Daddy."
She's four.
She then asks if I brought her Bunny Milk, better known as Nestle's Quik. I tell her that I came straight from work and didn't have time to stop and get some from home. She gets a little upset and doesn't understand why I don't automatically have some on me when I drive the hour long commute from the other side of Pittsburgh.
She's four.
She asks all kind of other questions like why it's dark or daylight outside when I pick her up. Since late November, I've explained that it gets darker at an earlier time during the Fall and Winter, and in the Spring and Summer, it stays daylight longer. This baffles her.
She's four.
So, here it is the second month of Winter and it's starting to stay lighter, later, and she asked why. I told her again about the seasons and then asked her if she knew what the seasons were called.
She said, "Um, Halloween?"
She's four.
"No," I said, "That's a holiday in a season." I then called out the seasons and asked if she knew what was the first season of the year was.
"Winter!"
"Correct! Now what comes after Winter?"
"Halloween!" She exclaims.
She's four.
"No. Honey, look..." I then began sounding out the first syllable of Spring and she got it. Then we moved onto Summer and after sounding out the first syllable, she got that right. Then, she got Fall very quickly and back to Winter. I then asked her if she knew what came after Winter, again.
"Halloween?" She asked.
She's four.
"They just keep repeating. Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. Got it? There's four. OK, now, which comes after Winter?"
"Daddy, let's just focus on the bunny milk, OK?"
She's four...
Class dismissed.
Monday, October 31, 2011
WUMF: October Edition
Happy Halloween to you all and to all another edition of What’s Up, My Friends? The popular game show with no prizes and very little game.
Octobeerfest
We had another round of beer swapping at work this month and the theme was, of course, Octoberfest. One of the big rules was to avoid getting Pumpkin Beers because that’s too easy. My selection was Victory Festbier.
My overall thoughts? Meh. While, I have gotten into drinking more craft beers than the regular water based ones like your big three brands, I still cannot get over the taste of some of the more hoppy or bitter beers. Not that there’s anything wrong with bitter beers, in fact, I’m pretty sure most beer aficionados will tell you that those commercials for bitter beer face are proof that most beer drinkers are wusses and can’t handle real beer.
However, not all the beer was bad, although my selection of Victory Festbier tasted like skunk piss. The Great Lakes Oktoberfest was pretty decent. Leinenkugel wasn’t that bad. And even the Buffalo Bills Pumpkin Ale, which not only smelled like ass and was not supposed to be included, tasted OK. Maybe I’m a beer wuss but I don’t drink beer to be a beer drinker. I drink beer that tastes good. I’m not opposed to trying a new kind, but I won’t buy it again if I don’t like it.
Vegas Baby!
Last week my wife and I took a trip to Vegas. It was basically a second honeymoon since the first one was a bit awful. It wasn’t awful to be at Niagara Falls and it wasn’t awful to stay in the Embassy Suites Falls view deluxe sweet or eat at the Keg restaurant. It was just awful that my new bride was sick as a dog with pneumonia. So, when an opportunity to go on business arrived, and then fell apart, I decided to go anyway and include her.
I not a big gambler and I didn’t plan on doing a lot of sightseeing. There was no plan to go out to Hoover Dam or walk on into the desert and say, “Hey, I bet some guy from the 50s is buried over there.” I just want to go and sleep in, do some gambling, eat good and relax.
I'll give a more in depth update on the trip because, oh boy, was there some great stuff to rant and rave about on the way to and from Vegas. Stay tuned.
Shit My Kid Says
A while back I told you about my kid saying the Pledge of Allegiance as a blessing for dinner, one night. She has some other great insights. “I’m beautiful, because I’m a girl. Boys are ugly.”
Octobeerfest
We had another round of beer swapping at work this month and the theme was, of course, Octoberfest. One of the big rules was to avoid getting Pumpkin Beers because that’s too easy. My selection was Victory Festbier.
My overall thoughts? Meh. While, I have gotten into drinking more craft beers than the regular water based ones like your big three brands, I still cannot get over the taste of some of the more hoppy or bitter beers. Not that there’s anything wrong with bitter beers, in fact, I’m pretty sure most beer aficionados will tell you that those commercials for bitter beer face are proof that most beer drinkers are wusses and can’t handle real beer.
However, not all the beer was bad, although my selection of Victory Festbier tasted like skunk piss. The Great Lakes Oktoberfest was pretty decent. Leinenkugel wasn’t that bad. And even the Buffalo Bills Pumpkin Ale, which not only smelled like ass and was not supposed to be included, tasted OK. Maybe I’m a beer wuss but I don’t drink beer to be a beer drinker. I drink beer that tastes good. I’m not opposed to trying a new kind, but I won’t buy it again if I don’t like it.
Vegas Baby!
Last week my wife and I took a trip to Vegas. It was basically a second honeymoon since the first one was a bit awful. It wasn’t awful to be at Niagara Falls and it wasn’t awful to stay in the Embassy Suites Falls view deluxe sweet or eat at the Keg restaurant. It was just awful that my new bride was sick as a dog with pneumonia. So, when an opportunity to go on business arrived, and then fell apart, I decided to go anyway and include her.
I not a big gambler and I didn’t plan on doing a lot of sightseeing. There was no plan to go out to Hoover Dam or walk on into the desert and say, “Hey, I bet some guy from the 50s is buried over there.” I just want to go and sleep in, do some gambling, eat good and relax.
I'll give a more in depth update on the trip because, oh boy, was there some great stuff to rant and rave about on the way to and from Vegas. Stay tuned.
Shit My Kid Says
A while back I told you about my kid saying the Pledge of Allegiance as a blessing for dinner, one night. She has some other great insights. “I’m beautiful, because I’m a girl. Boys are ugly.”
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Graceful
I am in no way a very religious person. We’ll leave it at that. My kid already has a firm grasp on what death means when we lost my mother-in-law. No child should have to experience a loss like that at the age of two. Still, she’s a trooper and managed to come out wiser than her peer group. And while I may not hold the same belief structure as my wife, I am trying to honor her wishes and raise our daughter in alignment with hers. When she gets older, she can eventually make her own decisions based on all the available information about what she chooses to believe.
That all being said, at the dinner table in our home, we do say grace. Usually, my wife or father-in-law will be the one to say it. Although, this past Sunday, my daughter wanted to take a stab at it. Wondering where this was going to go and expecting a train wreck, we entertained her request and prepared for something out of the ordinary. At least, we’d get a laugh out of it.
I shit you not. She went into the full version of the Pledge of Allegiance, word for word, spot on. As she was saying it, my wife and I both slowly looked up and then at each other, smiling from ear to ear.
Apparently, she learned this at preschool. My father-in-law said, “How many four year-olds can do that?” I guess at least one classroom full.
For Thanksgiving, we’re hoping she whips out the “Star Spangled Banner”.
Somewhere, in the aether, there is a shit eating grin and cackles of laughter. It would have made her Grammy’s day.
That all being said, at the dinner table in our home, we do say grace. Usually, my wife or father-in-law will be the one to say it. Although, this past Sunday, my daughter wanted to take a stab at it. Wondering where this was going to go and expecting a train wreck, we entertained her request and prepared for something out of the ordinary. At least, we’d get a laugh out of it.
Here's a dramatic re-enactment.
I shit you not. She went into the full version of the Pledge of Allegiance, word for word, spot on. As she was saying it, my wife and I both slowly looked up and then at each other, smiling from ear to ear.
Apparently, she learned this at preschool. My father-in-law said, “How many four year-olds can do that?” I guess at least one classroom full.
For Thanksgiving, we’re hoping she whips out the “Star Spangled Banner”.
Somewhere, in the aether, there is a shit eating grin and cackles of laughter. It would have made her Grammy’s day.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
WUMF: August Edition
Late entry this month in the WUMF column. Unfortunately, I’ve been really busy with… actual work and it’s cut into my ability to tend to the side business. Anyway, enough excuses, here’s what’s been happening.
The Pirates
OK, I admit it. I got temporarily sucked back in by them this year. I was almost ready to board the bandwagon. Hell, I even designed t-shirts in tribute to them. Then, they went back to smacking me around after a hard day of drinking. And here I sit, dejected that I fell for it, almost.
Frankly, when they said in the beginning of the year that, in order for them to spend more money on the team, the fans would have to help by raising attendance, I scoffed. How dare they expect us to be the catalyst for this team’s rebirth. Then, a funny thing happened. They started playing better. All of a sudden, attendance increased. So, the fans did their part. Would the Pirates do theirs? They went out and signed two players ahead of the trade deadline. Um… yeah, that’s not exactly who we figured you’d go out and buy. Two guys who end up banged up or just a bust to start. Still, the bullpen held it together and the wins were coming. We were in first place. We were contenders. That was July.
Now, we are heading into September with a dismal percentage, out of the running for the division and slim hopes of breaking .500 for the season at this pace. What happened? We either suck the entire season or do really well for the first half.
Let me put this way. Back in my early days of Junior High, seventh grade to be exact, I joined the track team. Shocked? I am. I threw discus and shot put, not very well, mind you. Occasionally, they had what was called a hog race. That’s when the bigger guys on the team do a relay or run a 220 or 440 yard dash. Now, I will contest that even though I wasn’t the most physically fit, I could sprint pretty well. By pitting me against other guys in my body type, for short distances, I was pretty sure I could take them. I got into a 220 yard dash against other shot putters and discus throwers and felt pretty confident. The gun went off and so did I. I was way out ahead by the first turn. I had an even more commanding lead by the straightaway. At the 220 mark I was a clear winner. I was also in a 440 yard dash and didn’t know it. I stopped dead, thinking I was done while everyone kept running. By then it was too late and I was dead tired. I limped into the finish in last place. I WAS the 2011 Pittsburgh Pirates.
The only thing that would have made matters worse would have been if I were to come out at the next match and said, I am going to bet the school on every event I’m in and I just signed up for the mile run. That’s what the Pirates are doing by raising ticket prices. They blew their wad too early and now they are risking all credibility by saying, “Hey look what we accomplished doing it our way. Now, we’re going to charge you more to be half good.” Don’t be surprised if Andrew McCutchen starts to look away from Pittsburgh as the post season goes on without them. They haven’t thrown the money at him that he deserves, yet.
S#!t My Kid Says
I’ve long said that my kid is the funniest little shit on the planet. Even when it’s inappropriate she makes me laugh. Of course, I am the king of inappropriate.
Due to a scheduling snafu, she had to stay at my parents’ house overnight last week. On the way there, we gave her the usual rundown of rules. Be good. Eat the food she gives you. Go to bed when it’s time. Etc. We also threw in one special request. Don’t swear.
She’s four.
I know. It’s my fault. I let her watch things she shouldn’t and out of all the things she could pick up or imitate from a movie or show, she has to pick the swear words out. And it’s not that my parents are prudes. No way. I didn’t end up like I am because of society. I ended up like this because my Dad let us kids watch Monty Python and Benny Hill when I was my kid’s age. I saw Die Hard in the theater, when I was 12, but I already knew John McClane’s catchphrase prior to that.
So, there we were telling my kid not to say bad words in front of Grammie and she says, “Even asshole?”
Funny kid.
2011 VMAs
I have gone on, at length, about how I hate MTV, now. I can’t understand how they can hold an award show that rewards videos when they don’t even play them on their own network, anymore. The VMAs haven’t been the show they were since the late 80s and early 90s. I didn’t even watch it but saw clips and read about it which is more time that I would have wanted to devote to the subject. My thoughts are this…
That’s it. I’m out.
The Pirates
OK, I admit it. I got temporarily sucked back in by them this year. I was almost ready to board the bandwagon. Hell, I even designed t-shirts in tribute to them. Then, they went back to smacking me around after a hard day of drinking. And here I sit, dejected that I fell for it, almost.
Frankly, when they said in the beginning of the year that, in order for them to spend more money on the team, the fans would have to help by raising attendance, I scoffed. How dare they expect us to be the catalyst for this team’s rebirth. Then, a funny thing happened. They started playing better. All of a sudden, attendance increased. So, the fans did their part. Would the Pirates do theirs? They went out and signed two players ahead of the trade deadline. Um… yeah, that’s not exactly who we figured you’d go out and buy. Two guys who end up banged up or just a bust to start. Still, the bullpen held it together and the wins were coming. We were in first place. We were contenders. That was July.
Now, we are heading into September with a dismal percentage, out of the running for the division and slim hopes of breaking .500 for the season at this pace. What happened? We either suck the entire season or do really well for the first half.
Let me put this way. Back in my early days of Junior High, seventh grade to be exact, I joined the track team. Shocked? I am. I threw discus and shot put, not very well, mind you. Occasionally, they had what was called a hog race. That’s when the bigger guys on the team do a relay or run a 220 or 440 yard dash. Now, I will contest that even though I wasn’t the most physically fit, I could sprint pretty well. By pitting me against other guys in my body type, for short distances, I was pretty sure I could take them. I got into a 220 yard dash against other shot putters and discus throwers and felt pretty confident. The gun went off and so did I. I was way out ahead by the first turn. I had an even more commanding lead by the straightaway. At the 220 mark I was a clear winner. I was also in a 440 yard dash and didn’t know it. I stopped dead, thinking I was done while everyone kept running. By then it was too late and I was dead tired. I limped into the finish in last place. I WAS the 2011 Pittsburgh Pirates.
The only thing that would have made matters worse would have been if I were to come out at the next match and said, I am going to bet the school on every event I’m in and I just signed up for the mile run. That’s what the Pirates are doing by raising ticket prices. They blew their wad too early and now they are risking all credibility by saying, “Hey look what we accomplished doing it our way. Now, we’re going to charge you more to be half good.” Don’t be surprised if Andrew McCutchen starts to look away from Pittsburgh as the post season goes on without them. They haven’t thrown the money at him that he deserves, yet.
S#!t My Kid Says
I’ve long said that my kid is the funniest little shit on the planet. Even when it’s inappropriate she makes me laugh. Of course, I am the king of inappropriate.
Due to a scheduling snafu, she had to stay at my parents’ house overnight last week. On the way there, we gave her the usual rundown of rules. Be good. Eat the food she gives you. Go to bed when it’s time. Etc. We also threw in one special request. Don’t swear.
She’s four.
I know. It’s my fault. I let her watch things she shouldn’t and out of all the things she could pick up or imitate from a movie or show, she has to pick the swear words out. And it’s not that my parents are prudes. No way. I didn’t end up like I am because of society. I ended up like this because my Dad let us kids watch Monty Python and Benny Hill when I was my kid’s age. I saw Die Hard in the theater, when I was 12, but I already knew John McClane’s catchphrase prior to that.
So, there we were telling my kid not to say bad words in front of Grammie and she says, “Even asshole?”
Funny kid.
I have gone on, at length, about how I hate MTV, now. I can’t understand how they can hold an award show that rewards videos when they don’t even play them on their own network, anymore. The VMAs haven’t been the show they were since the late 80s and early 90s. I didn’t even watch it but saw clips and read about it which is more time that I would have wanted to devote to the subject. My thoughts are this…
- Why do we continue to honor or applaud Chris Brown? Props to Jay-Z for not standing.
- Why does Lady Gaga look like a cross between Ralph Macchio from The Outsiders and Billy Joe Armstrong?
- Why are we shocked and why do we care that she went drag? She wore a suit of meat before.
- Why is Justin Bieber allowed to drive a Black Ferrari? And, how's the car doing? Will he get sued a year later?
- Why is Britney Spears getting the lifetime achievement award when she’s not been around that long?Look at the list of recipients? Granted, Madonna was named in 86 but her achievements far outshone Britney’s in the span of time before she received it.
- Is Beyonce pregnant? (That was a joke)
Thursday, June 30, 2011
WUMF: June Edition
Is it summer, already? Is it the end of June, already? Is it time for another WUMF, already? Yes x 3.
The Beach
At the beginning of the month I went to the OBX and I promise a longer post about being in the 4 x 4 section. Needless to say, if you have plans to go on vacation and you have a four wheel drive vehicle, check out Carova Beach. You won’t be disappointed.
Jagrwatch
What the hell is happening in Pittsburgh? The Pirates are a game over .500 and there is a possibility that Jaromir Jagr could play for the Penguins. There’s also still a lockout. If blood starts flowing out of the point, and pigeons fall from the sky, I wouldn’t be surprised. Actually, I don’t even know when the point fountain is going to be back on. I drive within sight of it every day and the last time I saw water in the fountain was when we were underwater back in the end of winter. Anyways, the whole thing with Jagr is nuts. He’s got an offer from Detroit. Does he? He’s got an offer from Pittsburgh. Has he accepted?
His plane got diverted from landing at JFK by fornicating turtles. Apparently, there was around 100 turtles on the runway, getting it on. Airport staff moved them and then the TSA detained four of them for brandishing ninja like weapons. [sing songy] Teenage Humping Runway Turtles, effing at the airport, for an hour [/sing songy]
2011 Angry Mongo Summer Giveaway
A couple of weeks ago, I ran a giveaway through my store blog. It was a summer themed contest sparked by the notion that summer is now here and it’s time to enjoy the BBQ and vacation and the warm weather. Well, those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway. So, I dug into the movie vault and found three classics; One Crazy Summer, The Great Outdoors, and Meatballs. I threw in a shirt, inspired by one of the movies. I lightly placed a Doodle Speaker with the M.A.M.S logo in the box along with some other goodies and announced to the world that the #AngryMongoSummer giveaway was on like Donkey Kong.
After a week of tweeting, posting, and commenting about their favorite vacation spots, the list of entries was narrowed down to one random winner. Joby Franczek, also known as The Bald Fat Guy on the interwebs was my big winner and should soon be getting his care package. Thanks for entering and congratulations.
S#!t My Kid Says
I’m fat. I get it. I’ve been trying to knock off the pounds and I still haven’t forgot my little counter up there. Still working on it. However, once in awhile, my kid reminds me of how much I dwarf her in size. After work, one day, I was in my bedroom getting changed into my comfortable attire and was just finishing on putting on a pair of shorts. I didn’t so much as struggle to button them as I gently fastened them as to not rip the button right off of the shorts. My kid seeing me do this, looks at me while I’m holding my breath and says, “Daddy, is that hard to do?”
“Yes, dear, it is. That is why you don’t get a third glass of bunny milk.” (Nestle Quik)
That’s all I got for this month. Rock on!
The Beach
At the beginning of the month I went to the OBX and I promise a longer post about being in the 4 x 4 section. Needless to say, if you have plans to go on vacation and you have a four wheel drive vehicle, check out Carova Beach. You won’t be disappointed.
Jagrwatch
What the hell is happening in Pittsburgh? The Pirates are a game over .500 and there is a possibility that Jaromir Jagr could play for the Penguins. There’s also still a lockout. If blood starts flowing out of the point, and pigeons fall from the sky, I wouldn’t be surprised. Actually, I don’t even know when the point fountain is going to be back on. I drive within sight of it every day and the last time I saw water in the fountain was when we were underwater back in the end of winter. Anyways, the whole thing with Jagr is nuts. He’s got an offer from Detroit. Does he? He’s got an offer from Pittsburgh. Has he accepted?
His plane got diverted from landing at JFK by fornicating turtles. Apparently, there was around 100 turtles on the runway, getting it on. Airport staff moved them and then the TSA detained four of them for brandishing ninja like weapons. [sing songy] Teenage Humping Runway Turtles, effing at the airport, for an hour [/sing songy]
2011 Angry Mongo Summer Giveaway
A couple of weeks ago, I ran a giveaway through my store blog. It was a summer themed contest sparked by the notion that summer is now here and it’s time to enjoy the BBQ and vacation and the warm weather. Well, those of us in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway. So, I dug into the movie vault and found three classics; One Crazy Summer, The Great Outdoors, and Meatballs. I threw in a shirt, inspired by one of the movies. I lightly placed a Doodle Speaker with the M.A.M.S logo in the box along with some other goodies and announced to the world that the #AngryMongoSummer giveaway was on like Donkey Kong.
After a week of tweeting, posting, and commenting about their favorite vacation spots, the list of entries was narrowed down to one random winner. Joby Franczek, also known as The Bald Fat Guy on the interwebs was my big winner and should soon be getting his care package. Thanks for entering and congratulations.
S#!t My Kid Says
I’m fat. I get it. I’ve been trying to knock off the pounds and I still haven’t forgot my little counter up there. Still working on it. However, once in awhile, my kid reminds me of how much I dwarf her in size. After work, one day, I was in my bedroom getting changed into my comfortable attire and was just finishing on putting on a pair of shorts. I didn’t so much as struggle to button them as I gently fastened them as to not rip the button right off of the shorts. My kid seeing me do this, looks at me while I’m holding my breath and says, “Daddy, is that hard to do?”
“Yes, dear, it is. That is why you don’t get a third glass of bunny milk.” (Nestle Quik)
That’s all I got for this month. Rock on!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Double, Double, Bailey Is In Trouble
You want to believe your kids. You want to believe that when they say they saw the bogeyman in their closet with blood soaked fangs, a sharpened ridge of spines on their back and a thirst for child flesh. You know, however, that it’s simply a shirt or some other outfit hanging in their closet that takes on the grisly form they described. Yet, you know that they think they saw it and you believe that they believed it.
Confused?
My three year old is finishing up her first full year of Kindercare in a couple of months and it’s been a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because she gets that socialization and structured learning that she’s going to need. It gives my wife and my father-in-law a much needed break from having to watch her while I’m at work. It also gives my wife the chance to go back to work as well. The downside is that you get the four months of chronic ear infections and a membership to the green mustache brigade. You also get the reality check that your kid is a hellion at school as well as at home. Sometimes, we can bribe the kid for good behavior. For this week, we promised that if she was a good girl, we’d go to McDonald’s on Thursday night.
We did this because we had a bit of an issue with the little one drawing on chalkboards with unapproved writing tools. I picked her up on Tuesday and saw a chalkboard in her cubby. I have no idea why it was there, nor do I know why it had appeared to have been scribbled on with a marker. I gathered my kid from the next room and off we went. She immediately apologized to me for something. I asked why she was saying she was sorry. “I didn’t mean to do it. It was an accident. Are you mad at me?” I still have no idea what she had done. It was almost as if she was trying to get me to absolve her of any wrong doing before knowing what she had done. I asked her what happened. She rattled off a story about a chalkboard. I pieced together the fragments and figured out that she drew on the chalkboard with something other than chalk and got in trouble for it. The teachers did not tell me what happened and I didn’t ask. Putting a chalk board in the cubby doesn’t tell me much and there was nothing on her report that indicated there was a problem.
I asked my wife to inquire on Thursday when she dropped her off in the morning. When I talked to my wife that afternoon and remembered about the chalkboard, I asked if she had talked to the teacher but it was already too late to discuss it. I figured I would ask when I picked her up. When I went into her room at the end of the day, I saw the chalkboard in her cubby. It looked like it was still there from the other day. I gathered up all my kid’s things and went to go collect her, outside. I asked about the chalkboard and her teacher said she drew on it with marker before and then did it again, today. Now, I was upset. I had just had this heartfelt apology on Tuesday about the chalkboard with a promise that she’d never do it again and now I find out that she broke that promise.
Once we got in the car, I asked her why she drew on the chalkboard with marker.
She said, “I didn’t do that today.”
I said, “Your teacher told me you did it.”
“But I didn’t do that today.”
At this point, I noticed a difference in her voice. At anytime when she is lying about something she has a certain tone to her voice. This particular instance was different and it sounded totally sincere. But, I didn’t let her know that. I wanted to draw more information out of her and see if she really was telling the truth.
“Honey, why would the teacher lie? She has no reason to lie to me. You run the risk of losing McDonald’s.”
“Daddy, I didn’t do that today.”
“Ok, well, I want to really believe you.”
“I love McDonald’s and I want to go there.”
“I know. It’s just that I need to discuss this with your Mommy and decide if you deserve to go.”
“Daddy, I deserve to go.”
“Why do you deserve to go?”
“Because I want to go and I love McDonald’s.”
“OK, but I still plan on telling Mommy about the chalkboard and we’ll see.”
Pause…
“You know what, Daddy?”
“What?”
“Snitches are witches.”
Confused?
My three year old is finishing up her first full year of Kindercare in a couple of months and it’s been a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because she gets that socialization and structured learning that she’s going to need. It gives my wife and my father-in-law a much needed break from having to watch her while I’m at work. It also gives my wife the chance to go back to work as well. The downside is that you get the four months of chronic ear infections and a membership to the green mustache brigade. You also get the reality check that your kid is a hellion at school as well as at home. Sometimes, we can bribe the kid for good behavior. For this week, we promised that if she was a good girl, we’d go to McDonald’s on Thursday night.
We did this because we had a bit of an issue with the little one drawing on chalkboards with unapproved writing tools. I picked her up on Tuesday and saw a chalkboard in her cubby. I have no idea why it was there, nor do I know why it had appeared to have been scribbled on with a marker. I gathered my kid from the next room and off we went. She immediately apologized to me for something. I asked why she was saying she was sorry. “I didn’t mean to do it. It was an accident. Are you mad at me?” I still have no idea what she had done. It was almost as if she was trying to get me to absolve her of any wrong doing before knowing what she had done. I asked her what happened. She rattled off a story about a chalkboard. I pieced together the fragments and figured out that she drew on the chalkboard with something other than chalk and got in trouble for it. The teachers did not tell me what happened and I didn’t ask. Putting a chalk board in the cubby doesn’t tell me much and there was nothing on her report that indicated there was a problem.
I asked my wife to inquire on Thursday when she dropped her off in the morning. When I talked to my wife that afternoon and remembered about the chalkboard, I asked if she had talked to the teacher but it was already too late to discuss it. I figured I would ask when I picked her up. When I went into her room at the end of the day, I saw the chalkboard in her cubby. It looked like it was still there from the other day. I gathered up all my kid’s things and went to go collect her, outside. I asked about the chalkboard and her teacher said she drew on it with marker before and then did it again, today. Now, I was upset. I had just had this heartfelt apology on Tuesday about the chalkboard with a promise that she’d never do it again and now I find out that she broke that promise.
Once we got in the car, I asked her why she drew on the chalkboard with marker.
She said, “I didn’t do that today.”
I said, “Your teacher told me you did it.”
“But I didn’t do that today.”
At this point, I noticed a difference in her voice. At anytime when she is lying about something she has a certain tone to her voice. This particular instance was different and it sounded totally sincere. But, I didn’t let her know that. I wanted to draw more information out of her and see if she really was telling the truth.
“Honey, why would the teacher lie? She has no reason to lie to me. You run the risk of losing McDonald’s.”
“Daddy, I didn’t do that today.”
“Ok, well, I want to really believe you.”
“I love McDonald’s and I want to go there.”
“I know. It’s just that I need to discuss this with your Mommy and decide if you deserve to go.”
“Daddy, I deserve to go.”
“Why do you deserve to go?”
“Because I want to go and I love McDonald’s.”
“OK, but I still plan on telling Mommy about the chalkboard and we’ll see.”
Pause…
“You know what, Daddy?”
“What?”
“Snitches are witches.”
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