WUMF: April 2012 Edition

Another month, another WUMF.

Prometheus
The film is less than two months away and I am trying so hard not to be spoiled. I just watched the International trailer which is a BIT more revealing than previous trailers. It’s almost two spoilerish for me. This is on par with finding out weeks ahead of time that the season 3 finale of LOST was a flash forward.

GIANT SPOILER WARNING

Sorry, I should have put that in before that five year old revelation.

Anyway, what I took from the trailer… and you have been forewarned…

The space jockey directly connects the film to Alien. I have a feeling that whatever race he was a part of was responsible for either discovering or engineering the xenomorphs we are familiar with in the Alien franchise. They might also be responsible for engineering human existence. However, by arriving on the planet, humans sort of set off some kind of plan and those aliens that look like the Space Jockey make their way to Earth to do some reengineering of the species. Unfortunately, the humans get implanted with an early incarnation of a xenomorph and combining with human DNA causes it to adapt to the shape we know. Then it effectively kills the space jockey by impregnating it with a queen who sets things in motion for the first Alien film.

Now, I could be way off, but I’m staking my claim now. Unfortunately, that trailer and subsequent attempts to find out more led me to some crap conspiracy from InfoWars d-bag Alex Jones who has a video out exclaiming that Prometheus is an attempt to indoctrinate audiences into the illuminati myths.

It’s a damn movie. I don’t know what scares me more, conspiracy theories or the theorists who theorize them. Get over yourself, Alex. You’re a year older than me and you sound like Blake Clark gargling broken glass.

2012
Speaking of conspiracy theories, Dick Clark recently passed away. Well played Mayans. I’m actually beginning to believe in this crap. I recently saw a report on how scholars were trying to decipher text on the Mayan Calendar. They could only make out two words, Leonard Bernstein. We’re so doomed. Damn you Michael Stipe!

Actually, I don’t know what everyone’s so worried about. Dick Clark will still be at Times Square this New Year’s Eve. Coachella proved that to be possible.

Movie Night With My Kid
I’ve been making it a plan to introduce my four year old kid to a few of the movies I loved as a child before she gets all spoiled on CGI and 3D. Now, it’s not to say that I haven’t shown her movies that relied on CGI to get their point across, but I’m only going with ones that didn’t rely on it as a crutch. Yes, I’m looking at you Stephen and George.

Last year, it was the Iron Man movies. Why? Because I enjoyed them and she likes a good superhero movie. Also, in the past I showed her the first two Jurassic Park films, because she loves dinosaurs. Then, I went decidedly old school on her. Check out this brief list.

• All six Star Wars films
• The Goonies
• The Last Unicorn
• The Dark Crystal
• Ghostbusters

Eventually, we’ll work up to The Hobbit because it might be a little heady for her, right now. And, of course I mean the Rankin/Bass one. She’s not quite ready for the marathon that will become the Peter Jackson version. She has seen a little of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, but I won’t subject her to the 1978 one which pretty much dilutes the series down into a mess. Dude, the Balrog, seriously?

One day, she’ll watch all five movies and hopefully, enjoy the hell out of them so much that she’ll read the books. That’s my plan. She’s already seen a good portion of the Harry Potter films and I will try to get her into reading them when she’s age appropriate.

And lastly, when she’s closer to ten or eleven, I’ll sit her down and we’ll watch Akira. Hopefully, there won’t be a live action version of that out, by then.

Next month’s WUMF will be hot on the heels of vacation. So, I might mail it in… just giving you a spoiler warning, now.