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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

World Loading... Please Wait

And there, in the quiet, just before waking, everything is fine.  Then the world loads and all that bothered you from when you went to sleep is right back to being in view.
You suddenly remember the stress you’ve been holding onto.  You remember the people that you hurt or how they hurt you.  You remember the sadness and anger of the world you left for a bit as you tried to just get some rest.

What is that phenomena?  Those brief few seconds where you wake up and you don’t remember the pain you had before.   Then, just as you get that smile on your face, it all just seeps back in.  That has to suck.  It’s like that one scene in Ladyhawke where Rutger Hauer and Michelle Pfieffer have that brief interaction at dawn.  Both of them are human at the same time and almost get a glimpse of one another.    When you’re in a funk, every day is like that.  You wake up with the fleeting glimpse of something you love, just out of reach, and as it all comes into focus it disappears and you are left with the knowing that everything was crap like before.

World lag in real life.   I wonder if it’s a chemical in your brain.  Maybe that service hasn’t come online yet.  Maybe it’s a part of your brain that deals with reality and when you wake up, it takes a little longer to kick in.  It’s too bad you can’t disable it.  Maybe kill the process from your internal task manager.   Then, you could crawl out of bed, and function for awhile.   Later on, you could enable it and let it take over for awhile when nothing important is going on.  Kind of like how I deal with weekly virus scans or mandatory system updates.  Push that shit to late at night when you don’t care.   Except, that’s when it’s the worst. 

You’re in the quiet of your brain and that little voice says, “Hey… I know… remember that problem you can’t solve?  Let’s run that at max capacity and overheat your brain.  Come on, it’ll be fun!  Sure you’d rather watch some good shows or play video games or get sleep, but I’d rather run overload your system with over analysis of every little issue you have going on…. And all at the same time.”

When you finally do get to sleep, it all gets quiet and if you’re lucky, you can have a pleasant dream or at least a couple nice thoughts as you recharge.  But then, when you wake up…  BOOM, servers go online and it kicks in and you suddenly remember, “Nothing got resolved at 1:00 AM.”

Yeah, like a computer or a particular application, just walking away from it for awhile doesn’t fix it.   It’ll be there when you come back and will probably have done more damage to your system if you don’t fix it.   But in this analogy, more memory doesn’t always mean increased performance.  So, take care and get help when you have that extra CPU intensive process running in your head.     It’s not good to melt the circuitry. 

It sure as hell doesn’t help World Lag.  It just crashes harder and for longer each time.

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