Mongo's New Addiction

I don’t know if I should classify this as an addiction to an item or an actual brand.

Previously, I had spoken about being addicted to a game called Minecraft.  For the most part, I still play it but find it hard to repeatedly do the same actions over and over again to no end.  The game was fun because it was a giant building sandbox that had some point to it and some monsters to fight.   But, the latest update, 1.8, has been slow to materialize and it’s purported to be an awesome update to a game that is still in Beta testing.

I’ve also spoken about an addiction or a overzealous love of coffee.  I’ve been a caffeine junkie for most of my life.  However, there is a distinct ability to switch off the want for caffeine, and sometimes the need.  I can go all weekend without having an ounce of coffee, but once I’m back to work it’s like crack.

Now, I’ve found my new crack, Sheetz coffee.

Let me back  up.

When I was at my old job, I usually made coffee for coworkers.  I’d come in just before 7 and between myself and another early bird, we would put a bunch of pots on for everyone.   Then, as you emptied a pot, you were supposed to make another one.  I would usually have an 8 oz cup at 7AM, one around 8:30AM and then one in the afternoon, around 2PM.   My weekly consumption was 24 ounces in a day, five days a week and none on the weekend.

Then, I started the new job and I still had to make coffee, but the Keurig K-Cup maker meant I could just do it for myself.    However, the difference was that we did not have standard 8 ounce cups.   We have 16 ounce cups.  So, I’d find myself mixing up a batch of two different flavors at 6 ounces each and adding Splenda and Coffee Mate powdered creamer.  That kept the calories down, at least.    I kept the same schedule  which meant a 12 ounce cup, three times a day.

But I felt as if I was doing myself a disservice in terms of health.  So, I’ve cut back, albeit not in a step down manner, to one 8 ounce cup in the morning and maybe a Diet Coke later on in the day.   Still not an optimal diet, but less intake.

Then, I found the crack, I spoke of a bit ago.   My back tires were in need of being replaced.   They were so bad that I was losing almost 2/3 of the air pressure every day.  I travel 70 miles round trip.  That’s not good.  So, I’d stop into any local Sheetz and fill up my tires, because air is free, for once.  After getting air, one day, I decided to check out the specialized coffees.    I’m used to getting the Cuppuccino there, which isn’t Starbucks but it’s also not Starbucks prices.  However, I went straight for the ordering screens and called up a large Frozen Caramel Mocha with whole milk, white chocolate, regular coffee, whip Cream, and an extra flavor shot for $4.59.

CRACK!  OMG CRACK!  I love it!  I love it!   OW, I JUST FROZE THE LEFT HALF OF MY BRAIN.  I CAN'T MOVE MY RIGHT ARM.

I must stress that it will induce brain freeze, I don’t know why.  Most other frozen drinks do not cause me brain freeze.   This does every time.

I could have gotten away from since I had the tires replaced.  However, I got a Sheetz card which gets me $0.03 off a gallon at the pump and also gets me free drinks and food, granted I buy enough of them.   It's like giving a crack addict access to buying crack on eBay and a fully loaded PayPal account. 

This is, of course, an attempt to compete with Giant Eagle’s GetGo. There, you can get $0.10 off per gallon for every $50 you spend on groceries.  Not to mention, the run specials on getting additional pennies off when you buy a coffee or fountain drink or sandwiches in the gas station.  Also, for every 10 gallons of gas you pump, you get 1% off your grocery bill which can be accumulated over time and used for more savings on big grocery bills.

But back to the crack.  I find myself making excuses to go to Sheetz.  "Oh, look I have almost a half tank of gas, better fill up.  Hey, it's $0.03 off per gallon.  Why not?"   I've even gone out of my way on my trip home to find a Sheetz, just to get a damn frozen mocha.  I am the Jeff Conaway of frozen coffee drinks.  Call Dr. Drew.  Call Juan Valdez.  Call Dr. Oz and let me explain what my coffee poop looks like.  It floats and could get a dung beetle high on caffeine.

However, this all has to end.   I am looking to take a little trip next month and in order to pay for it, I better save some money.  I should probably also save some waistline, if I expect to not have to pay for more than one seat on the flight.   So, once again, I'm going cold turkey, or in this case, warm turkey, by giving up my new addiction.  Every time I get that urge to go across Hell's Half Acre to find a Sheetz, I'll simply take $5.00 and put it away for the trip. 

One last thought.  This addiction to Sheetz's frozen mochas reminds me of a sketch from The Kids in the Hall.  Enjoy.

Parking Lot Dickery Two: Pull Through Boogaloo

In this second segment on Parking Lot Dickery, I relate the frustration of shopping.  I also get a little help from my wife to complete the act of dickery.   Here we go.

Friday night, my wife and I decided to go out for Chinese food.  The restaurant is located in the same shopping plaza as the Giant Eagle I’ve had issues with in the past.   After dinner, we needed to grab some items at said Giant Eagle for dinner on Sunday.  We pulled into a parking lot space with three empty spaces facing us, with us in the middle.   This is great for a pull through exit strategy.

After shopping, we returned to the vehicle and my wife took care of getting our daughter buckled in while I loaded groceries. Once I emptied the cart, I returned it to the shopping cart return stall, two spaces over. I made it a point to hurry up as I wanted to do a pull through in the parking lot.

As soon as my hands left the cart and I turned to go back to the van I noticed a guy coming down the row. Immediately, I knew what was about to happen. Remember, there were three empty spaces facing us and I was in the middle of them. This guy pulls right into the empty space, facing us. I said, out loud, “You’ve got to be kidding me?”

After getting back into the car, my wife said she heard me outside. As I grumbled over the decision to back out, she said, “Just wait. Get your phone out and act like you’re taking a call.” I looked at her and saw the determination in her eyes. She knew this guy was waiting for us to leave so that he could pull across into our space, completing a pull through park. This is why I love my wife. She can be a bigger dick than me.

For those of you not familiar with any of these concepts I’ll briefly elaborate.

A Pull Through = The act of crossing from your parking space into the opposite facing empty space in a parking lot in order to leave without having to back up into your row, risking being hit by someone not paying attention as they drive.


A Pull Through Park = is the act of entering into a parking space and then immediately crossing over into the opposite facing empty space in a parking lot to use it as a parking place, allowing you to leave front first.


I usually do not do a Pull Through Park because I use the hatch or trunk for my groceries. I will only do it if I am running in for a couple of items.

Ok, back to the story.

Now, it’s the waiting game. Is this guy going to sit there and wait for me to leave so he can take my space or will I be able to outlast him, talking to my wife while holding my cell phone. I have groceries in the car, a three year old in the back, and Chinese food from dinner sitting in take out boxes slowly permeating the car with Chinese food smell.

Two minutes go by and this guy is still sitting there. I look at my wife, still talking into my cell phone. “Are you sure you want to do this?” “Oh yes, it’s on. It’s on like Donkey Kong. This guy screwed up my pull through. He only wanted our space, the bastard.” I laughed at her determination, her spirit. Then she began talking out loud in the car in the direction of the guy across from us. “That’s right pal. I’ve already done my shopping. I can sit her all night. Hell, I got leftover food in her if I get hungry. There’s a bathroom right inside and I got groceries if I run out of food. You ain’t outlasting me.”

Another couple minutes went by and the guy made a “Hmph” face, rolled his head and got out of his car. We had won. We backed out of our space and headed towards the end of the row, facing the store. As we drove, I told her I loved her and that what we did was a great form of dickery. She laughed and continued to go on about how that guy wasn’t getting our space. There were two empty spaces, including the one between us and the cart return stall. He could have parked there and pulled through, but he chose to face us and wait it out. He just wasted six minutes of his life on us. For us, it was a Friday night and we had no plans other than go home, give our daughter a bath and just relax.

The only downside to this entire operation was the unfortunate event that occurred as we passed the guy on his way into the store. As we passed him, the words “He was a dickhead,” came from inside the car. Now, because we have a very impressionable youngster who tends to repeat what she hears, we try to curb our language around her. The fact that I had used the word dickery and my wife had said bastard were minimal offenses but still not the greatest of efforts to censor ourselves. The fact that this phrase came out was purely unintentional on our part. Fortunately, the windows were up, shielding us from being heard. Unfortunately, it was neither my wife nor I that uttered the phrase, “He was a dickhead.” It was that impressionable three old in the back, proving, once again, that she is all together to smart for her own good and adept at using swear words in the proper context.   How can you punish that?

Somebody Touched My Stuff Again

A while back I talked about what happened the last time I went shopping at Giant Eagle in Harrison City.  Well, it happened again.  Same scenario.  I go in and grab things I need to buy.  I go to the self-checkout lane and purchase said item.s  I go to the end of the lane to bag up my items.  Somebody comes over, crumbles up the coupons sitting next to the scanning plate and throws them away.  I get pissed.

This time it was an employee because they were wearing a uniform.  This time I hadn't paid for my purchases yet, so my receipt didn't end up in the trash.   This time I...  said nothing.  OK, but if a third time occurs, I'm flipping tables over and going wild bunch on these guys. [pew pew]

I can hear it now.  "Oh, Mongo, stop being so passive aggressive and just go through a regular check out lane.  You are doing this to bait them, now."   Well, yeah, you're right.  I am baiting them.  I want them to do it because a third time will not be tolerated.  And as for the regular lanes, I don't want to hear anybody complain that it takes away from the need to hire cashiers.  That's a load of crap.  There were three cashiers before they put in self-checkout lanes and there are three cashiers, now.    What does happen is that when you go through a regular check out, you run into these issues.

• Waiting for the person in front of you when you can just zip through the empty self-checkout lanes.
• The cashiers do not give you the coupons printed out from scanning your Advantage Card in the self-checkout lane.
• Nine times out of ten, the regular checkout cashiers have not asked me if I wanted to apply my discounts from pumping gas to my total.  That's a screen you have to navigate through in self-checkout lanes.

It may seem that I am impatient but I am usually heading to the store after I leave work.  I want to get home because, I'm tired from being at work and I really don't want to spend anymore time than necessary at the store.  I am also usually relieving my father-in-law from babysitting duties since my wife is working at the time and he's been at work, too and just filling in for a couple of hours to bridge the gap.   That's my main reasons.

Now, the last time I went to the store was yesterday to grab one item for dinner because the ones I had were out of date.   No one bothered me but the next time... ooooh, grrrr.

Don’t Touch Other People’s Stuff

It’s something you try and teach your children at an early age. It’s something I am continually trying to teach my child. She’s in preschool, now, and there is a germ factor to deal with along with an ownership issue. First of all, kids aren’t the cleanest of beings as they touch everything without regard to what they can’t see on surfaces and objects. They will proceed to touch themselves or you and transfer who knows what in the process. In addition, if it doesn’t belong to them and they have not received explicit permission to handle it, they shouldn’t be touching it. This is what I’m trying to tech and it includes all remote and game controllers, purses, keys, knick knacks, and anything else not built out of an industrial strength alloy or space age polymer in my house.

But when an adult exercises such a lack in judgment you can’t help but become shocked by their inability to remember those childhood lessons. What the hell goes through some people’s heads? This post spawned after a quick shopping trip to my local Giant Eagle grocery store in Harrison City, PA. I needed to pick up a few things and relied on the Self-Checkout lanes for quicker service. Usually, my wife is with me and she bags while I scan, but being on my way home from work, at the time, I needed to multi-task.

I grabbed what I needed and headed to the front of the store. Swiped all my items and sent them down the belt. Paid for purchases and went to the other end of the belt to bag and place in my cart and that’s when it happened. Some dick touched my stuff.

As a rule, especially in this economy, every little bit helps. My wife will clip some coupons here or there and on occasion, we will get coupons at the checkout lane from using our Advantage Card. The Advantage Card is like other grocery store cards, I’m sure. You swipe it and receive discounts on certain items. Also, for every $50 we spend, we get $0.10 a gallon for gas. In turn, for every 10 gallons of gas you pump, you can earn 1% off of your grocery bill up to 20%. It also prints out coupons at the register which can be used for future purchases as well as the occasional advertisement which is thrown away at the register nine times out of ten. Regardless of how we acquire coupons, we appreciate them when we get them. Now, I don’t know if there is some unwritten rule out there about grocery stores but if we have a coupon for something we don’t use or will not purchase before the expiration date, we usually leave it on the shelf with the product. I see them left by other people a lot and sometimes they come in handy. Also, when we get printout coupons at the register, I tend to leave the ones I don’t use on top of the Self-Checkout register for others to use.

On more than one occasion and in multiple stores, I’ve seen employees walk by the Self-Checkout registers and throw away coupons left by shoppers for other shoppers. I understand why they do it. After all, a coupon is a loss to revenue. If it’s there, it’s considered trash and should be thrown away to help maintain the appearance of the store. However, there is a similar perk in convenience stores and gas stations called the penny tray. Have a penny, leave a penny. Need a penny, take a penny. So, I don’t see this as anything different. Have a coupon, leave a coupon and so forth. It’s a bit petty and “corporate” like to just walk by and throw away these coupons when the intention was for helping out your fellow consumer. I have a point here, bear with me.

So, as I’m bagging up my groceries last Friday, this guy comes by, grabs the coupons I had received from the register, crumbles them up and throws them away. I’m still in the line, mind you, watching all this happen. I was so shocked at the balls this guy had that I was just stunned speechless. Now, he wasn’t dressed in typical store uniform so I cannot guarantee that he was an employee. He was pushing a cart that had empty cardboard boxes in it so he may have been a vendor who was stocking specialty items from the manufacturer. Still, it was rather brazen that he just walked up and did what he did. Of course, two can play at that game. I have already proven that I can be a dick with the best of them.

So, it should shock no one that I took the time to go back to the front of the checkout lane to retrieve the coupons that dickhole threw away and placed them back on top of the register. Dickery turned to outright rage when I realized that he not only threw away any coupons that were laying there, but my receipt as well. MY EFFING RECEIPT. He yanked it from the printer, crumbled it up and tossed it in the garbage can underneath the counter. I use a credit card for grocery shopping and while not all of my numbers are on the receipt, still, who would throw a receipt away in plain sight inviting the possibility that someone could use it against you.

I wanted to find the guy. I wanted to wander all over the store, bags in tow, looking for the guy to just give him a “Don’t touch other people’s stuff, Eff-tard!” prepared statement. He even looked like one. Think of the bad guy from Lethal Weapon 3. He looked like him, complete with the gray brushtache. Yes, I said brushtache because it looked like a brush hanging off his face.

Well, I didn’t find Brustache the Eff-tard which is my World of Warcraft name… kidding. But I did get the satisfaction of going back and wasting energy by digging through the garbage for two advertisements and a coupon for Activia. I don’t care. You don’t touch other people’s stuff. Obviously, I wasn’t finished yet because my receipt was still there. And two. YOU DON’T TOUCH OTHER PEOPLE’S STUFF! Oh, to be a fly on the inside of the windshield on the way home from the store. You know those moments you have where you talk out loud to nobody about what you would say or do to the person who pissed you off at that moment. You even start to verbally take it out on other drivers who aren’t even involved. “What, you wanted to turn at that stop sign, but I went first, causing you to lurch forward and slam on your brakes? Too bad, dick, you didn’t have your turn signal on at the time and you probably touch other people’s stuff, too. Eff off!”

I know there were other ways to handle the situation, the least of all, blogging about it. But, hey, if someone has a problem with that, come talk to me about it. I’m up for debate about the finer points of being a dick. Just ask my wife.