Previously, I had spoken about being addicted to a game called Minecraft. For the most part, I still play it but find it hard to repeatedly do the same actions over and over again to no end. The game was fun because it was a giant building sandbox that had some point to it and some monsters to fight. But, the latest update, 1.8, has been slow to materialize and it’s purported to be an awesome update to a game that is still in Beta testing.
I’ve also spoken about an addiction or a overzealous love of coffee. I’ve been a caffeine junkie for most of my life. However, there is a distinct ability to switch off the want for caffeine, and sometimes the need. I can go all weekend without having an ounce of coffee, but once I’m back to work it’s like crack.
Now, I’ve found my new crack, Sheetz coffee.
Let me back up.
When I was at my old job, I usually made coffee for coworkers. I’d come in just before 7 and between myself and another early bird, we would put a bunch of pots on for everyone. Then, as you emptied a pot, you were supposed to make another one. I would usually have an 8 oz cup at 7AM, one around 8:30AM and then one in the afternoon, around 2PM. My weekly consumption was 24 ounces in a day, five days a week and none on the weekend.
Then, I started the new job and I still had to make coffee, but the Keurig K-Cup maker meant I could just do it for myself. However, the difference was that we did not have standard 8 ounce cups. We have 16 ounce cups. So, I’d find myself mixing up a batch of two different flavors at 6 ounces each and adding Splenda and Coffee Mate powdered creamer. That kept the calories down, at least. I kept the same schedule which meant a 12 ounce cup, three times a day.
But I felt as if I was doing myself a disservice in terms of health. So, I’ve cut back, albeit not in a step down manner, to one 8 ounce cup in the morning and maybe a Diet Coke later on in the day. Still not an optimal diet, but less intake.
Then, I found the crack, I spoke of a bit ago. My back tires were in need of being replaced. They were so bad that I was losing almost 2/3 of the air pressure every day. I travel 70 miles round trip. That’s not good. So, I’d stop into any local Sheetz and fill up my tires, because air is free, for once. After getting air, one day, I decided to check out the specialized coffees. I’m used to getting the Cuppuccino there, which isn’t Starbucks but it’s also not Starbucks prices. However, I went straight for the ordering screens and called up a large Frozen Caramel Mocha with whole milk, white chocolate, regular coffee, whip Cream, and an extra flavor shot for $4.59.
CRACK! OMG CRACK! I love it! I love it! OW, I JUST FROZE THE LEFT HALF OF MY BRAIN. I CAN'T MOVE MY RIGHT ARM.
I must stress that it will induce brain freeze, I don’t know why. Most other frozen drinks do not cause me brain freeze. This does every time.
I could have gotten away from since I had the tires replaced. However, I got a Sheetz card which gets me $0.03 off a gallon at the pump and also gets me free drinks and food, granted I buy enough of them. It's like giving a crack addict access to buying crack on eBay and a fully loaded PayPal account.
This is, of course, an attempt to compete with Giant Eagle’s GetGo. There, you can get $0.10 off per gallon for every $50 you spend on groceries. Not to mention, the run specials on getting additional pennies off when you buy a coffee or fountain drink or sandwiches in the gas station. Also, for every 10 gallons of gas you pump, you get 1% off your grocery bill which can be accumulated over time and used for more savings on big grocery bills.
But back to the crack. I find myself making excuses to go to Sheetz. "Oh, look I have almost a half tank of gas, better fill up. Hey, it's $0.03 off per gallon. Why not?" I've even gone out of my way on my trip home to find a Sheetz, just to get a damn frozen mocha. I am the Jeff Conaway of frozen coffee drinks. Call Dr. Drew. Call Juan Valdez. Call Dr. Oz and let me explain what my coffee poop looks like. It floats and could get a dung beetle high on caffeine.
However, this all has to end. I am looking to take a little trip next month and in order to pay for it, I better save some money. I should probably also save some waistline, if I expect to not have to pay for more than one seat on the flight. So, once again, I'm going cold turkey, or in this case, warm turkey, by giving up my new addiction. Every time I get that urge to go across Hell's Half Acre to find a Sheetz, I'll simply take $5.00 and put it away for the trip.
One last thought. This addiction to Sheetz's frozen mochas reminds me of a sketch from The Kids in the Hall. Enjoy.
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