Gameboy By LG Thanks To Verizon Wireless

I never wanted a cell phone. Hell, I never wanted a credit card, either. Unfortunately, I had to have both.

The credit card came first so that I could eventually buy my house. No, I didn’t put my mortgage on the card, silly. I had to build up a credit existence, from what I was told, so that the state could put me under a microscope for a home loan.

The cell phone came a year later. My wife was worried that I’d end up in a ditch somewhere and need help. In my mind, if I had ended up in a ditch somewhere, having a phone wouldn’t help, unless that phone could call someone while I’m lying there, unconscious.

But, I caved and got a phone. It was a simple LG flip model that basically called people and had a camera. I spent more time taking photos than actually calling someone. That seems to be the case nowadays. Everyone buys a phone, not for the actual phone part, but for everything else. There’s texting and video and apps and music and games. I found it funny when Apple would release the new iPhones that could do all these whiz bang things, except actually make a call.

I admit I am a bit of a gadget geek and love tech stuff but sometimes making a product into something else actually negates the intended purpose. I’ve shied away from getting the latest iGear or whatever else is out there in favor of actually functional pieces of technology. I buy a camera or I buy a phone to do what the device is intended for, not because of all the extras. Besides, that costs more money and I am a self proclaimed cheap ass.

Still, when I got my last phone, an LG ENV2, I drank the Kool Aid a bit and took on a trial of VZ Navigator, which was nice. That was the one thing that was worth having on a phone. Having to buy pay hundreds of dollars for a GPS device was silly when you could pay $10 a month for the ability to do the same thing on your phone. I mean, you were going to have your phone in the car anyways, in case of a ditch scenario, right? So, I exhausted the trial month and said, “Eff, it! Ten bucks a month is too much for me to know where the hell I am going at all times. Let’s put St. Christopher in the driver’s seat.

The other indulgence I gave into was downloading games. Now, I was under the impression that my month long trial of VZ Navigator and web browsing included downloads. I didn’t realize I was purchasing a game that would be downloaded to my phone. In that month I downloaded Tetris and Monopoly. For the two years I owned that phone I played Tetris every day. When I’d sit in appointments I’d play. When I was stuck at the airport, waiting to board, I’d play. Loved that game. It was an addiction, back in college, when we had it for the NES. In fact, if I would have had Tecmo Super Bowl on my phone, I’d never get any work done.

But phones, like other technology, become obsolete and degrade over time. New plans, new two year contracts, and the chance to get a new phone, for free mind you, become options laid out before you.
Now, I was never a huge fan of the ENV2. The case became worn and the rubber case that I put on it made it difficult to type in the numbers because the edges of buttons were no longer raised. For someone, like me, with flippers and banana hands, I’d constantly miss dial a number or a password to my voicemail. Also, I would constantly butt dial people. There was a way to lock it but you had to go three screens deep into the phone menu to do it. Having the buttons on the inside was a plus, in my book. My pocket would constantly vibrate from me leaning on buttons, making noise. From then on, I kept my phone on vibrate and developed a case of vibration nervosa. That’s where you constantly check your phone because you think you felt it ring.

So, when it came time to change phones I chose the Cosmos. Why? It was free. Yeah, it had buttons on the outside and even though it had a complicated lock system, did I mention it was free?

Here’s the sucktitude that is my phone plan. I attempted to move everything from one phone to the other. Contacts, check. Messages, check. Pictures, check. Games….ch…um, nope! Turns out I would have to repurchase and download those games again. Granted, $10 is nothing huge in the scheme of things, but it’s the principle. Every two years or so, I would have to spend $20 to play games on my phone. I contacted Verizon Wireless customer service and they said, “Sorry, thems the brakes.” So, I say, The ENV2, yesterday’s phone, today’s Game Boy. I guess if I know ahead of time I’m going to be sitting around waiting for something like an oil change or a dentist appointment I’ll bring my ENV2 along to play games and use my Cosmos… to call people.

WUMF

Do you know what that means? I didn’t either before this week. It means, “What’s up, my friend?” One of the supervisors walked around and said this to me. It appears to be a tradition at my new job. Every so often, someone comes up to you and says WUMF? So, I thought I would use it to reopen the blog posts. I can’t promise I’ll be sticking to my three a week schedule. I’d like to think I could but I’ll be spending more time in traffic, so it’s harder to budget writing time when I’m sitting in my car for two hours a day. With that said, here’s my WUMF post for you, my friend(s).

So, as I stated in my last post, I started a new job. I’m not going into specifics but I am working for IT in an education setting. I’m trying to build them a knowledgebase that will work. I’ve done it before, right? That one was easy. The application did all the heavy lifting. Now, I’ve got to use one that isn’t up to date and has very little credibility to it. There is a lot of heavy lifting involved. But that is a challenge that I wanted to take on, right?

Along with the new job, I have a new drive. Instead of driving through the backwoods of Westmoreland County, I am hitting the four lanes and heading in and out of Pittsburgh. Instead of a 20 minute drive, I have an hour drive. Instead of just getting in the car and just going. I have a lot of start and stopping. I hit two areas of traffic in my drive. They both involve tunnels in Pittsburgh. Apparently, the tunnel monster demands tribute and people are afraid they are going to get eaten. So, I leave around 6:15 AM to beat the traffic, only to get stuck around Churchill and then right after the Fort Pitt Tunnels heading up to Carnegie.

Coming home, it’s the same thing in the same areas. The one real cool thing about my drive is emerging from the Fort Pitt Tunnels and taking in the sight of downtown Pittsburgh. The panoramic view of the city stretching from the Science Center and Casino, past Heinz Field and PNC Park and the Golden Triangle, down through town to the old Westinghouse Tower (Now, 11 Stanwix St.), Steel Tower, Highmark Building, PPG Place, and the rest is pretty awesome. Then I get to drive along the river back towards Oakland, my alma mater at Pitt, where I get stuck by Bates St., waiting for the Tunnel Monster to let us through. Now, this past Tuesday, I got stuck in traffic for two hours thanks to the impending snowdoom we were supposed to get. Don’t get me wrong, it was bad, but the roads weren’t especially slick. People just freak. I don’t know why. This is Pittsburgh. Even if you just moved here from the South, last year, you would have been around for Snowmageddon. It’s not like you had no idea that it snowed here.

Traffic and uncertainty on how to do my job aside, I like the environment. Everyone has been great and friendly, WUMF and all. In fact, there seems to be a collective acceptance of being a bit strange and goofy there. They even have a hazing ritual that shouldn’t piss anyone off, except the people who stock the kitchen. It’s called tea bagging and before you go all… “What the hell kind of place is this?”, understand that they only take tea bags from the kitchen and put them in your workspace. I’m not exactly sure of the rules but I seem to be exempt because I was a direct hire and not a contractor. The two people I’ve seen “tagged” shared that distinction, if I recall, correctly. The one was a guy who sits across from me and had one hanging from his name plate holder. The second was the same supervisor who came by on Friday, saying WUMF. He has an office and was subject to a little more tagging than others. To give you an idea, think back to that scene in Se7en where Brad Pitt and Morgan Freeman enter the apartment of the guy who has been strapped to the bad for months. The entire room was filled with air fresheners, hanging from the ceiling. Imagine that scene with tea bags hanging from the ceiling tiles with push pins.

Well, that covers the WUMF edition. I may make this a regular thing, along with my Lesser Man Project posts. By the way, I am holding steady at having lost 18 pounds. I don’t have access to a real scale, like I did before. Mine is a bit older and probably biased. In fact, it shows me less ten pounds. I don’t figure it into my totals. I really have lost 18 pounds, not eight.

Take care all and here’s to the unknown. That’s WUMF.

Time To Face the Strange

The news I have to share is both scary and exciting.  After nine and a half years with the same company, I am moving on to a new adventure.  I don't want to be too specific about what I've done and where I am going.  I have spoke on occasion about my previous job and have even deleted some posts I felt were a bit too revealing or even inflammatory.  You can never be too sure.   Let's just say it was time to move on to something new.

Even with the new position, I don't want to paint a target on my back.  I haven't officially started yet.  LOL. 

With that being said, I wish my former coworkers all the luck in the world.   While I don't wish them to be there for a another ten years, I wish them to be there as long as they choose to.  It's been a bittersweet last few days as I have looked back at a quarter of my life dedicated to one company.  It's not the same as when I first walked in, green and dumb.   I won't say it's better.  I won't say it's worse.  I will say that I didn't pull any ripcords or pop any emergency slides.  I didn't go out like Jerry MaGuire and I didn't go out like Scarface from Half Baked.  I spent the better part of today digging up old emails for people who wanted to relive the glory days of when I would come up with a funny top ten list or photoshopped someone's head onto someone else's body. 

It's like cutting off my left arm.  It's not my predominant limb but it's still very important and special to me.  Even though I have the ability to grow it back, I don't know if it will work the same or be as good.   I know that analogy makes no sense, but you get the idea.   I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and taking a chance on doing something important with a risk of failure.   I did the same thing with my last job but even if I would have failed, I probably had a better chance to retain my tenure.   It's all new, now, and I have zero credibility. 

So, until I get a feel for how well things will work... I'm adding double the drive time I had before... I may be taking a little hiatus, for now.  If this is the end of my blog, so be it.  I've had a great run even if I never achieved rock star status.   I did this for me, no one else. 

Thank you and here's to new beginnings.