WUMF: October Edition

Happy Halloween to you all and to all another edition of What’s Up, My Friends? The popular game show with no prizes and very little game.

Octobeerfest
We had another round of beer swapping at work this month and the theme was, of course, Octoberfest. One of the big rules was to avoid getting Pumpkin Beers because that’s too easy. My selection was Victory Festbier.

My overall thoughts? Meh. While, I have gotten into drinking more craft beers than the regular water based ones like your big three brands, I still cannot get over the taste of some of the more hoppy or bitter beers. Not that there’s anything wrong with bitter beers, in fact, I’m pretty sure most beer aficionados will tell you that those commercials for bitter beer face are proof that most beer drinkers are wusses and can’t handle real beer.

However, not all the beer was bad, although my selection of Victory Festbier tasted like skunk piss. The Great Lakes Oktoberfest was pretty decent. Leinenkugel wasn’t that bad. And even the Buffalo Bills Pumpkin Ale, which not only smelled like ass and was not supposed to be included, tasted OK. Maybe I’m a beer wuss but I don’t drink beer to be a beer drinker. I drink beer that tastes good. I’m not opposed to trying a new kind, but I won’t buy it again if I don’t like it.

Vegas Baby!
Last week my wife and I took a trip to Vegas. It was basically a second honeymoon since the first one was a bit awful. It wasn’t awful to be at Niagara Falls and it wasn’t awful to stay in the Embassy Suites Falls view deluxe sweet or eat at the Keg restaurant. It was just awful that my new bride was sick as a dog with pneumonia. So, when an opportunity to go on business arrived, and then fell apart, I decided to go anyway and include her.

I not a big gambler and I didn’t plan on doing a lot of sightseeing. There was no plan to go out to Hoover Dam or walk on into the desert and say, “Hey, I bet some guy from the 50s is buried over there.” I just want to go and sleep in, do some gambling, eat good and relax.

I'll give a more in depth update on the trip because, oh boy, was there some great stuff to rant and rave about on the way to and from Vegas.  Stay tuned.

Shit My Kid Says
A while back I told you about my kid saying the Pledge of Allegiance as a blessing for dinner, one night. She has some other great insights. “I’m beautiful, because I’m a girl. Boys are ugly.”

Lions and Tigers and Bears in Ohio

What the hell is going on in Ohio?  Yesterday, the town of Zanesville, OH went into lock down because exotic animals were roaming the town.  There were wolves, a giraffe, and monkeys running amok.  Due to the lateness in the day and uninsured results from tranquilizers, the police force were ordered to shoot the animals if necessary.  Carson Palmer is probably glad he got traded.  Otherwise he might have been put down, too.   Efforts by news media to not quote The Wizard of Oz were strained, at best.  And at the moment, there is still a monkey on the loose.  A monkey that was said to have herpes is out there running around, hanging around bars and trying to pick up loose women.

Jumanji Stampede

Turns out, the owner of the animals was just released from prison about a month ago, his wife left him, he was worried that pending laws were going to force him to have to sell his animals, and he decided that his only recourse was to shoot himself and then unlock all the cages before succumbing to his self inflicted wound.

I smell a conspiracy.

The Army of the 12 Monkeys Did It

Electronic signs on the highway warned people of exotic animals on the loose, don’t stop, stay in your car.  Could you imagine driving through Ohio on business and seeing this?  You would have thought two jackasses hacked the signs like they did in  North Carolina a few years ago.

And let’s think about this guy for a second.   He’s been under scrutiny before because of his animals.  There is a rumor that he was using some of the exotic animals for wild game hunting.  So, he deserved to have the animals taken away from him.  But this was turning out to be a bad country song.  “I just got out of prison, my wife left me, and the 'gubment' is taking away my tiger.  I wish I would die.”  So, fine, go off yourself and leave instructions for the animals to be moved to appropriate facilities.   Don’t shoot yourself and then wreak havoc by letting wild animals loose in suburbia.

And how the hell did the monkey get herpes?!?!?   Better yet, how did they know it had it?

Graceful

I am in no way a very religious person. We’ll leave it at that. My kid already has a firm grasp on what death means when we lost my mother-in-law. No child should have to experience a loss like that at the age of two. Still, she’s a trooper and managed to come out wiser than her peer group. And while I may not hold the same belief structure as my wife, I am trying to honor her wishes and raise our daughter in alignment with hers. When she gets older, she can eventually make her own decisions based on all the available information about what she chooses to believe.

That all being said, at the dinner table in our home, we do say grace. Usually, my wife or father-in-law will be the one to say it. Although, this past Sunday, my daughter wanted to take a stab at it. Wondering where this was going to go and expecting a train wreck, we entertained her request and prepared for something out of the ordinary. At least, we’d get a laugh out of it.

Here's a dramatic re-enactment.

I shit you not. She went into the full version of the Pledge of Allegiance, word for word, spot on. As she was saying it, my wife and I both slowly looked up and then at each other, smiling from ear to ear.

Apparently, she learned this at preschool. My father-in-law said, “How many four year-olds can do that?” I guess at least one classroom full.

For Thanksgiving, we’re hoping she whips out the “Star Spangled Banner”.
Somewhere, in the aether, there is a shit eating grin and cackles of laughter. It would have made her Grammy’s day.