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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Pop Rock Culture mixed with Pepsi

It's an explosive combination.    Ok, I really didn't have anything concrete to give you.  I just thought of the old story where supposedly Mikey, from the Life Cereal commercials, died from cosuming the mixture Pop Rocks and Pepsi.  I figured this was a lethal post since it has no point.   Truth is, the weather is starting to get nice and I'm getting a little bit of cabin fever.  So, let's take a random look in my brain and see what the hell is going on in there.   I caution you.  My brain is not the place most people really want to find themselves inside.  It's scary in there.   I should come with a plastic bag warning as it is.


Ok, here we go.


Thoughts on a pregnant man.

We've all heard the story about Thomas Beatie becoming pregnant.  As this story progesses, I wonder if these questions will be addressed?

  • Does he still see an OB/GYN?
  • Does he get maternity leave?
  • Does he get to park in the Stork spot at the store?
  • Will he have a shower? 
  • What about Maternity Clothes?  Tall and Fat store?
  • Will his insurance cover this?
  • Is the HR Benefits Analyst at his place of employment ready to explode?


Free Tibet. Turn out the lights.

I confess I do not know enough about the Human Rights situation in China but is it justifiable to attack a poor jogger with a torch?  Do protestors really think if they extinguish the torch the games will be cancelled.  What, does nobody have any matches?  At least one schmuck was smart enough to bring a fire extinguisher.  Others just attempted to walk up and look for the off switch.   Also, do you think you are going to make your point by pulling a Turk 182 on the Golden Gate.  What if you or your buddies would have fallen?  How about if your flipping luggage would have fallen into traffic causing a horrifc car accident, then what?   I get that China does not have a great track record when it comes to Human Rights.  But why punish the atheletes who worked so hard to compete? Torch bearer Marilyn King knows all too well about Olympic adversity.  She was in Munich in 1972 and she also lost her shot to compete in 1980 when the U.S. boycotted the Moscow games.    The games are a chance to be proud of your country.  It's an opportunity to compete instead of blowing each other up.    Be lucky the games aren't here in the U.S. Other countries would probably boycott us and then everybody would be crying foul about that.


Plan your next vacation at the Lovely YFZ ranch

Holy crap!?!?!?  I don't know what bothers me more, the fact that place was really well constructed or that a 16 year old girl broke this place wide open when previous violations and fines didn't raise any red flags.  The pictures on the net and 24 hour news cycle make this place look pretty damned cool.  I'm pissed that they stole my Dream House design, though.   In case you are wondering what the hell I'm talking about.  A 16 year old girl anonymously called police stating that she was abused and was married to a 50 year old man along with seven other girls.  Polygamy is banned in Texas as well as marrying under the age of 16.  It's amazing to think that there are people in this country that still believe what they are doing is A: Legal, and B: Right.  I'm no one to judge other people's religious beliefs but this girl was able to borrow a cell phone and know how to use it, but didn't think anything was wrong up until this point.  The best part?  They don't even know if they got her out of the ranch.  Law enforcement offers removed 416 children INCLUDING HERS from the ranch. How much you wanna bet there's only about five or six different last names in that place? 


Adam Corolla eliminated from Dancing with the Stars

The biggest travesty since Master P was allowed to stay on Dancing with the Stars.   I'm actually saddened by this.  True, he was the weakest dancer in the bunch but he had a lot of charm and his sense of humor, while dry, was a much needed shot in the arm considering the list of celebrities on the show.


Steve Guttenberg:  It's so odd to hear him speak about values and worthwhile television when you consider this is the guy that set Lassard up with a blow job in Police Academy. ELIMINATED

Penn Jillette:  Bigfoot of the dance floor.  He couldn't create the illusion of good dancing. ELIMINATED

Monica Seles: I don't remember her looking so man-ish.  Half expected her to grunt, "HAAAA" while dancing. ELIMINATED

Christian de la Fuente:  Who?  He's in the Chilean Air Force. 

Shannon Elizabeth: She pretty much gave up acting for poker. Being 10 years her junior, her partner Derek Hough wasn't old enough to see her naked in American Pie when it was in theaters.  I'm sure he's seen it since and is awestruck.

Mario Barret:  Who?  He just goes by Mario and I thought they were talking about the Italian Plumber.

Marlee Matlin: .  In season four they had one legged wonder Heather Mills, last season they had Marie Osmond who is brain deficient.  This season we have a Deaf Academy Award Winner.  We're running the gamut of disabilities here.   Next season, I say they get Charlton Heston. 

Priscilla Presley:  Oddly enough, she's very flexible from the neck down.

Marissa Jaret Winokur:  WAY TOO PERKY!  For some reason the judges think that because she won a Tony she should be a natural dancer.  Guess what, so did Angela want to bet on her against the Yamaguchi?

Christie Yamaguchi:  She's almost a sure bet  to win because she's one of those know.... a natural at this kind of thing.....I'm not being racist, but.....Olympic skaters have that advantage.

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