Now to lead into this I entreat you to recall John Candy eating the old 96er from The Great Outdoors. Then, go on ahead to Clearfield, PA and try out Ye Olde 96er at a place called Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub. These guys are a nutritionist’s worst nightmare. They have speed records to be broken by eating 2lb and 3lb burgers and all the way up to 15lbs. By the way, that 96er that I mentioned was just eaten in less than 2 and a half hours by a teenager in December. He also ate the 15lb burger in 4 and a half hours. Pass the Tums.
“Look at the size of the maggots on that meat.”Anywho, back to the Mongo Burger. In the age of full disclosure of nutritional value, it might be of importance to flip over your carton of fries and look at the table on the back, or the bottom of that cardboard box your burger came in, provided you can see through the soaked in grease stains. The numbers are astounding. It’s insane how bad fast food is for us and don’t even get me started on McDonald’s salads. But just for fun go to Burger King’s site and do a little mad scientist work of your own.
It might be hard to navigate but simply put click on this link and build your own.
The consumerist has been having some fun with this site and why not? After all, it’s like catching a glimpse at your own salty, meaty death. You can choose any sandwich like the Triple Whopper and then take away or add on things like extra meat, chicken, fish, cheese, sauce, bacon, onions, bacon, lettuce, tomato, bacon, mayonnaise, bacon, and even bacon. Then check out the nutritional value of your creation and even try to order it. You could create the Land, Sea and Air sandwich. It’s rumored to be on the ”secret” list of menu items that only the true fast foodies know about. Or anyone with an Internet connection, anyways. The LSA sandwich is a beef, chicken, and fish patty on a bun, presumably with mayonnaise, ketchup and tartar sauce as well. It’s definitely not Lent friendly.
For my own, I created the Mongo Burger which has four whopper patties, four orders of bacon, three slices of cheese, extra, extra mayonnaise and tops out at 1830 calories, 135g of fat, 48g sat. fat, 350mg of cholesterol, 47g of carbs, and 2220mg of sodium. Dear god, just have the ambulance on its way.
Supersize my Lipitor while you're at it.
The Oh My Colon Burger From The Consumerist Article
“That ain't the last bite!”Check please?
“Well sure it is, there is nothing on that plate but gristle and fat!”