2013 D-Bag Awards Round Two: The Fellowship of the D-Bags

• Mother Nature
• Humanity
• Congress
• Hollywood
• The Brothers Tsarnaev
• George Zimmerman
• Aaron Hernandez
• Black Friday
• Phone Companies

There are your nominees for the biggest douche bag in 2013.   Look at them.  Each one deserving of the title, but only one will walk away with the right to be called as such. 

It’s been a long year for us.  We’ve survived natural disasters and possibly being shot by George Zimmerman or Aaron Hernandez.  The Boston Marathon bombing taught us not only that we are strong as a society but severely flawed in our hatred and stupidity towards those people and things we think are different.   We elevate stupidity to lofty heights and reward companies for being douches by raking honest working people for a buck.  We’d call our congressman and tell them what’s up, but they already know what we’re talking about anyway and they’re probably on recess anyway and not going to listen.  I guess you could say it sounds just like a really bad movie involving sharks and tornadoes, but that would never get made, RIGHT?

So, looking at that list of nine entries, it’s hard to narrow down one particular contestant and say that THEY are the biggest douche bag.

Then again, maybe it isn’t that hard.  Maybe the answer is pretty easy.  Look at that list.  Everything boils down into two columns; Nature and People.  Mother Nature tore Death a new one in the last round, but it’s still nothing compared to the sheer force of hate and stupidity that is humanity.  This year, with all of the issues: same sex marriage, racism, bullying, rewarding stupid famous people, and sharing it all on the Internet, we have sunk to new lows.   We hate with more vitriol than I think we have ever done so, before.  We have gone to greater lengths to screw one another over, keep each other down, and simply just hate.   And it’s not that there isn’t a bright and shining center in all of this, but it’s so clouded over with the general blech of people being spiteful and entitled and bratty.   The entire human race needs a good spanking and for that the 2013 D-Bag Of the Year Award goes to us.

We deserve it.   Next year, let’s try harder to not be such assholes.

2013 D-Bag Awards Round One: Anthony Weiner vs. George Zimmerman

We gotta hurry up.  We’re running out of days.

Anthony Weiner vs. George Zimmerman

Another odd pairing, I admit, but I am not going to sit and judge them based on their initial crimes.  If that were the case, Zimmerman would have been winner, hands down.  Not to mention, the shooting of Trayvon Martin did not occur in 2013, so we can’t look to that as a deciding factor.  No, this heat all about second chances gone wrong. 

For Zimmerman, it started before 2013 with him and just continued.  There were traffic stops for moving violations in which he negligently had firearms out while officers spoke to him.  Then, there were several incidences where police were called because of domestic disputes and George was placed under arrest, only to be released later on with no charges filed.   So, either the guy is a danger to himself and others and has frequent access to firearms, or he’s a victim of a “Cry Wolf” scenario by his girlfriend.  Honestly, I really don’t know where the fault lies because for every incident, it’s gets walked back.   The problem is, George keeps getting into the media.

Then you Carlos Danger aka Anthony Weiner.  He got in loads of trouble for texting his unit to women in 2011, while he was in Congress, and in 2013, he just couldn’t keep it in his pants.    And he did this while running for Mayor of New York.  More texting scandals came out and then it became a politically charged issue because his wife’s boss is Hillary Clinton.   Once again, Anthony Weiner had a chance to slink away and fight another day, but he just couldn’t do that.  So, is he a victim of his desire or some politically charged plot to undermine campaigns?

The verdict?  Geogre Zimmerman

OK, it was slanted.  Zimmerman had way more against him going in, but like I said, this was about second chances.  But while Carlos Danger simply couldn't keep himself from being textually active, Zimmerman continues to put himself in awkward positions.  Depending on what you think about his acquittal, he got away with it, like O.J. Simpson.  Lay low, try and improve yourself and stay away from the spotlight.  But he couldn't.  So, he's the bigger douche bag.  Regardless of who is at fault, him or his girlfriend, he does not get to be innocent in the eyes of the public.  We get our due in another round.  It's a two way street that you just have to rise above and he didn't do it.