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Showing posts with label Pirates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Pirates. Show all posts

Monday, September 30, 2013

WUMF: September 2013 Edition


Where the hell did September go?

The Steelers
WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF
How can a team put up such great offensive numbers still be 0-4?
Turnovers
Defensive Suckage
Lack of cohesion

Take away all the games for the whole team, not just the rookies.
You can’t sit there and blame the rookies for not doing things the Steeler way if the rest of the team isn’t doing it either.

The Pirates
In the past, I have tried to temper my bandwagonning with the reminder that it has been 20 years since I was able to proudly call myself a Pirates fan.  The last three years I have been sucked back into being enthusiastic, only to be hurt again like a battered spouse.  But this year was finally the year.   The curse of Bonds/Bream is gone.  The 20 years of losing are gone.  The “We only put a profitable team on the field, not a winning one” is gone.  So, now the question remains… is this one game playoff series with The Reds going to be a step towards St. Louis or a step towards Moneyball when Minnesota trounced the A's?

The Penguins
The long road back to Lord Stanely begins.  Still not sure about Fleury. Vokoun nearly died from blood clots.  I've already forsaken the Steelers for Pirate games.  Will the Pens take the place on Thursday?  I kind of hope not...until November.

The Duck
Look at it.  The Duck has cometh.  The thing is huge and it needs to be moved to be in order to be seen on camera during tonight’s game.  My hopes is that only Pirates will be launching the long ball in hopes of connecting with the Quacken.

That being said,
RELEASE THE QUACKEN!

 
Get your own "Release The Quacken Shirt"
Redbubble Shirts From $24.54

YouTube Update
Because this month has been so damn busy I have been remiss in putting up some videos.  The Sims3 is still being worked on as is Minecraft.   The problem is, with Minecraft I’ve been involving my daughter in some videos because she’s so stoked to see the stuff I’m doing.  That means a lot of footage has to be edited and I can’t be my normally vocal self.  So, be patient and get some views in so I can keep doing this.

Friday, August 30, 2013

WUMF: August 2013 Edition


Wow, another WUMF out on time… watch out, we got a badass over here.

Obligatory YouTube Update  
Winding down the first season of Mongo Smashes Minecraft is hard.  The series is sort of driven by the achievement board and I’m having issues getting a few as well as just having time to play.  With my kid back in school, it will be easier, but I’ve just been too tired to be “on” when I go to record.  Over the summer I started a new series, “Skyblock” which was a survival challenge.   The last few episodes are sort of down in energy as I’m just going through the motions to finish it.   A highlight has been taking on Sims 3 from a more observant view.   Two episodes in and I think it’s some of my better work which makes up for the dreaded SimCity debacle.  Still, I am not doing enough, but that’s another story.
Summer?
So, the commercial end of summer is upon us.  For those of us in the SWPA it doesn’t seem like we had a summer, really.   There were days I would get out to the car at 5:50AM and I could see my breath.  That’s nothing compared to mention of the rain we had.   Looks like we’ll probably have 80 degrees temperatures around Thanksgiving.
Pttsburgh Sports
The Pirates are five games away from breaking the curse of Barry Bonds.  FIVE GAMES to beat .500.  Now, for some that is a landmark achievement.  For basically every other team out there, that’s average.  I cannot fathom why we are content with mediocrity.  Some will say, “Don’t rush it.  It’s a start.”  No, that start began three years ago and each year they sniffed .500 until somewhere in the middle of the season they choked.  Also, that slow rebuilding phase should have began ten years ago and it didn’t.   Sorry, but I have refused to get on the bandwagon, and it probably was for the best as this year they are set to finally have a winning season.  Once again, though, I ask, “How can a team that had a four game lead on The St. Louis Cardinals be happy with .500?”  This should be a pennant race season.
The Steelers on the other hand had a lot of promise.  And half their players are now on IR, DL, PUP, or other teams’ roster lists.  They just closed out preseason with 0-4 and after last year’s 8-8 I don’t give them much chance of making it to the AFC Championship.   At least their schedule is a little better, this year.  When I saw most of the division games in the last part of the year I was worried.    I was right to be worried.
Speaking of 20 years
At the end of next month, my high school’s 20 year reunion is taking place.  I haven’t been to one yet, so why not keep the streak alive.   It’s funny but when you get caught up in all the nostalgia and current drama with your classmates from way back when, you find yourself stuck back in that world, all over again.  While I had a blast in 1993, these days it’s no so fun to relive what it was like for me then.   You never really do leave high school.  You just keep getting sucked back into the same old shit you were subjected to then.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

WUMF: July 2012 Edition

Missed it by that much…It’s August.

YouTube Update
It’s been hard recording, lately.  For one, I just haven’t had a lot of free time and some of the series are dependent on a couple of factors.   Secondly, with summer vacation still in effect, I’ve had my daughter up later in the evenings.  She wants to be more involved which is sweet, but I can’t be as free to play as I am explaining or conversing with her instead of playing.

Also, I’ve been meaning to get some PS3 content up.  I have Last of Us and am anticipating Grand Theft Auto V in September.   The problem there is that my Avermedia capture device won’t show up on my television.   I bought it online awhile back and never got around to setting it up.  When I did, it didn’t work and now I am lost on how to fix it up.

First Place Pirates
What the hell is going on there, eh?   A seven game losing streak for the Cardinals has fed the Buccos much needed games to overtake the World Series Champs in the standings.   I still won’t fully invest myself in them until they reach 82 wins.  I’ve jumped on the bandwagon the last two years only to be disappointed.   

They’ve been playing real well but the post break collapses always make me cry.   Seems their downfall the last two years was marked by a 19 inning game.   The first year, they lost that game.  Last year, they won it.   They haven’t had one this year, but that double header against St. Louis could count.   However, they pretty much owned the Cards this series and are playing Colorado and Miami before heading out to St. Louis for three more.   If they can keep the momentum, they are on their way.
Good luck.   I will be pleasantly surprised.

Smash it Forward
The last couple of weeks were a testing of my faith in humanity.   While paying for my father-in-law’s gas, a lady took a fifty dollar bill that I had dropped.  GetGo (Giant Eagle) loss prevention managed to track down the lady from the video and loyalty card transaction that day and she brought the fifty back to me.  In turn, I donated $25 to two animal based organizations and made a public call to action.   Going forward, if you can tell me of a Paying It Forward moment you perpetrated, I will send you a free t-shirt.  If you buy the same t-shirt, which is also for sale, I will put a dollar into a fund which will get donated each month based on your preferences, majority rules.  

Now, it may seem stupid but is it really?  All you have to do is be generous with your time.  I don’t need you giving money away, but it has to be a substantial act.  And, yes, I understand that it seems trivial to just give away a shirt.  But, we don’t do good deeds for rewards.  I just want to acknowledge this act and promote the idea.   I am the one putting my money up to make the shirts.  I’m paying for your good deeds.    I am perpetually paying it forward.   I want to start a revolution of good deeds.  This shouldn’t be about, “What’s in it for me?”  This should be about, “What can I do to make it better?”

More details can be found here.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013

WUMF: March 2013 Edition


I know. I know.  I missed another WUMF Deadline.

<insert Blues Brothers’ quote>

Truth is, I had the plague at my house since last week.  So, everything today revolves around that issue.

The Streak
The Pens finally lost, ending their streak at 15.   Now, if you are scratching your nugget, trying to figure out how that info equates to me being sick, realize that I was unable to eat anything for three days, and I did my own laundry last night to spare my wife the ick factor.   I’ll let your mind wander on that one for a bit.

Yeah, I went there.

OK, so the Pens lost.  The world has not come to a screeching halt, people.   We are still in it to win it.   The Pens losing signifies one thing.  They are human.  They have rough outings.  They have three people out with injuries.  Now, at least two radio stations summed up the reasons the Pens lost included the lack of Paul Martin.  That makes some of my friends twitch a little, but when you figure that LeTang is also one of the injured, you have to realize that without LeTang, all you have is Martin… and without Martin you have even less and that is saying a lot.

The Pens will be fine and this will give them some perspective towards that goal of hoisting and toasting Lord Stanley.  The pressure is now off of them for the rest of the season to be perfect.  They just need to be great as we know they can be.  They can play smart  hockey and not balls deep, blazing, hockey as if the fate of the world rests on a one timer from Sidney Crosby.  

The addition of Jarome Iginla was pretty sweet.  There is a level of gravitas this team now has with these editions.  I think the only Captains were missing are America and Morgan.   Shero probably has that on his list of things to do before the deadline.  Which is now at least 2 hours old.  But if anyone can make a trade beyond it, it’s Ray Shero.  I think he managed to trade a shoddy bomb casing full of used pinball parts for some plutonium for his time machine.

The Buccos
Once again, it shouldn’t be hard to make the connection between them and what I was doing all weekend.   They lost their home opener.  Let’s start the 21st season off right and not have any expectations.   Mr.  Shero, meet Mr. Nutting.  Mr. Nutting, meet Mr. Shero.  Now, the two of you stay locked in this room until Nutting understands how to put together a team, not a business model.

This Illness
So, yeah, I had it.  I don’t know what it was, but it was bad.  Sunday morning I woke up a little fuzzy.  By the middle of the day, I made the decision to not eat anything.  I wasn’t vomiting, but I was in the bathroom every 20 minutes.  At its worst, my fever was 101.3.  I managed to drink some water and eat Italian Ices.    That sucked huge time because Easter dinner is one of my favorite holiday meals next to New Year’s.   We have ham, kielbasa, sirecz (Hunky Easter Cheese), corn casserole, and sweet potato casserole. 

I called off Monday and finally had some toast in the afternoon.  That was the turning point, I thought.   I was fine, with no incidences all day.  Even went out to dinner with my family and had a steak sandwich and fries.

That was my biggest mistake.  I was up at 4AM, then at 4:30.  Then at 4:55 and 5:55AM.   I opted to work from home and after a magnificent feast of toast, water, and another year old Italian Ice, I was fine again.   For dinner, I took it easy, having some chicken noodle soup, pineapple, watermelon, and Jello.  

Today, I’m back to full strength.  And the only silver lining was that I lost 6 lbs. during the week.  That brings my total from December 20th to today to 34 lbs. lost.  I haven’t done any exercise yet.  LOL.  I know it’s coming, though.

YouTube
I’ve been posting videos, weekly, to TheAngryCast and viewership is anemic.  I admit, I was hoping there would be a jump after I expanded to SimCity Playthroughs and The Design It series.   But, it’s still only a month in and I need to refine my processes.   I will say that I had to make another expenditure.   I managed to chew through 560gb of hard drive space in a month, so I bought a 1 Tb drive off Amazon for $80.   Now, I can move all my raw footage to date to the drive and keep the laptop hard drive for stuff I’m currently working on.    I better hurry because Dead Island Riptide is coming.   The connection… walking dead is what I was this weekend.

Like a Boss
So, here I was stuck in my house eating toast and year old Italian Ices, drinking water and avoiding dairy and people all be mixing it up and getting arrested while standing in line for free cakes in Market Square.  And, from what I heard, police were called to stop fights in line. What the hell?

Seriously, some drunk guy stole a case of cakes from the Cake Boss giveaway while people from North Carolina drove up here and stood in line since 7AM to get one.

Again, people, I ATE TOAST AND DRANK WATER FOR THREE DAYS.   And when I didn’t, I paid for it dearly.

How friggin’ good are these cakes?  Oh yeah, they’re free. 
I don’t watch the show and quite frankly, I wouldn’t stand in line for a free pizza let alone a cake.  I’d rather stand in line and pay for something from The Oakmont Bakery or Moio’s.  

And how bad does that make Pittsburgh look?  We get all these awards for livable city and tech jobs and sports and we can’t handle free cake lines?  Portland is telling us to suck it.



Thursday, November 15, 2012

Sports in Bizarro Burgh

Maybe the Mayans were right.

Let’s see… We had the Pirates cock tease for another season… this time, making it past the All Star Break with an above .500 record. We actually thought… “Screw winning season, I smell division leader… nay… PLAYOFFS!” Then, another 19 inning game crushed our souls like a can in a compactor. The team fell down the chute of our board game minds. They picked the lollipop card in Candyland and had to go all the way back to the beginning. But… we still had Penguins Hockey and Steelers Football, right? RIGHT?!?!?

Training camp rolled around and our new offensive line was set. Finally, we had better protection for Ben and more holes to create for RBs. But… Mike Wallace was nowhere in sight. He wasn’t in Latrobe. He wasn’t in Pittsburgh. He was home, sitting on his couch, wearing his helmet, and reading his playbook… hoping for more money. He waited. Training started. He waited. The pre season started. He waited. Three pre season games passed. He finally showed up. We played Denver. Oh, yeah, we lost some of our shiny new toys in the early games. We also broke some of our others… *cough*Troy *cough*

But not to fear, Mike Wallace came in and made touch downs and amazing plays… and who needs training camp… and pre season? Soon those sentiments were replaced with, “Who needs to learn how to catch the ball, first?”

We lost to bad teams like Oakland and Tennessee… we squeaked by in Kansas City… We lost our starting quarterback…. He went out with a shoulder sprain that could puncture his aorta? Was that what I heard? I’m kidding, of course. So, in comes the cannon that is Byron Leftwich. The guy who was supposed to start in Ben’s absence during his four game suspension… only to break his arm in pre season, that year.

On his first play during the KC game, he throws to NOBODY and ends up ass over tin cup on the ground. Who’s his backup? Not Charlie Batch, mister reliable. Mister “I can manage a game while never making you believe I can either win it or lose it on one play rather I will do my best and that’s pretty damn good”. Mister, “I’ve been in this league a long time and bailed your asses out, and yet you still put me down in the depth chart only to come and ask for my help, but I will never be resentful because I am a true gentleman”. That guy. He was inactive. So… who was our emergency QB? I knew who he would have been last year… Hines Ward. The guy we got rid of and then waited for Mike Wallace to finally show up.

For Sunday’s game against Baltimore… the emergency guy is Heath Miller. I would rather have Heath play QB than Leftwich at this point. At least he can move. He may not have a cannon that can throw the ball into the parking lot on the off chance a receiver happens to be there waiting… but he isn’t the Tin Woodsman in the pocket that takes 20 minutes to throw the ball. Now, Ben does take a long time, but that’s play development, not the act of throwing the ball.

When I saw the schedule this year and noted that we had three divisional games in a row: Baltimore, Cleveland, and Baltimore, I knew we were in trouble. I predicted something like 7-9 or 9-7 due to what I perceived to be a rough schedule. Denver was getting Manning… we lost to them in the playoffs but still, the Ninety-Six Million Dollar Manning is always a problem at QB. Beyond that, look at our back half of the schedule: Baltimore, Cleveland, Baltimore, San Diego, Dallas, Cincinnati, Cleveland.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking. Dallas and San Diego suck, and Cleveland… pffft alleasy games.

We were supposed to have killed Oakland and Kansas City… and Tennessee was supposed to be manageable. San Diego scares me…because they are a bad team… and possibly… so are we. My prediction stands…. 9-7…or 7-9… hopefully, I’m wrong… except in the case of 8-8.



At least there’s hockey….


GOOD NIGHT EVERYBODY!



Thursday, October 4, 2012

20 Years of Sucktitude

20 Years of Losing
Get it on a shirt at Redbubble or Zazzle

The Pittsburgh Pirates ended their season with a loss. They ended with a loss to the Braves and a loss to the fans. They did clinch their 20th consecutive losing season with a record of 79-83. Now, that’s seven wins more than last year, but when the team was 16 games above .500 and in contention for a wildcard spot in August. Now, they have only the speculation to look forward to.

What will the team do to improve? Will heads roll? Will money be spent? For the angry fan, the answers always seem to be, “No”.

The last time the Pirates had a winning season, Bush was in office. That wouldn’t be so bad if I wasn’t talking about the first Bush. I was still in high school. I’m now 37. Chipper Jones was on the Braves’ minor team at that time. That’s how flipping long ago it was.

However, the last two years seemed to be different. They were improving. They were winning. They were bringing back the fan base. I bought into it, two years in a row. Then, the same thing happened, twice. They collapsed. Oddly enough, both collapses started after a 19 inning game. Suddenly, the fans were a battered spouse and the team was the abusive drunk that promises to stay sober and get help… only to smack us around one more time.

Last year, the team got on this weird kick of taking on a Wilson Philips song as their theme. This year was the year of the “Z”. Last year, the Wilson Philips thing didn’t do much. This year, the “Z” was infectious. The Zoltan sign was such a quirky one off that it caught fire and soon shirts were being sold, people were scratching their head and looking up a movie called, “Dude, where’s my car?” It was strangely catchy, though. Hell, I even jumped on the band wagon.

But that was August. The sad truth is we can’t blame management for this collapse. We can say that they didn’t do enough at the trade deadline or that they dealt away Brad Lincoln and Casey McGehee. Well, actually, maybe you can. After all, the real reason why the Pirates were as good as they were may not be because they were any better than an under .500 team. It’s just that the rest of the division was weak out of the gate. There was a lot of sound bites thrown around about how bad the other teams were that it made it easy for the Pirates to look great. Andrew McCutcheon played like he wasn’t human and on most teams that would be enough to help. AJ Burnett, who made me facepalm early on with his Spring Training injury, became the beacon of hope for the team. He was the one player who had every reason to be negative. He played for the Yankees and ended up here. Yet, he played like he cared. He cared like he wanted the team to snap that losing streak.

And now, without hockey to talk about, we rally around the Steelers who are 1-2. Steelers aren’t stellar. No hockey. Sigh. The Pirates missed a great opportunity to grab more fans. Now, all we have left to think about is that they are raising ticket prices and probably won’t get any more players to justify that cost increase.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

WUMF: May 2012 Edition

Keerriiiist! It’s almost June. How the ‘eff did that happen? Well, can’t stop time. So, here’s another WUMF!

Top 25 Musical Performances Reprise
Last week I put up my list for the most iconic musical performances in non-musical films.   Well, I screwed up and omitted perhaps one of the most iconic ones.   So, I'll be fixing that.  Let's just say, I was trying to block it out of my head... the Gene Kelly, the fake nose, the codpiece.

Sgt. Hulka Still Hurts
Awhile back, around the first weekend of May, I tweaked my foot cutting grass. I got an X-ray a couple of weeks ago and it showed nothing. I do not have a broken foot. I do not have gout. My doctor says I need new shows. I am just about at wits end.

They put me on an ant-inflammatory which isn’t the best thing on my stomach, one of the only things next to Rum, Vodka, Gin, or Tequila. Now, it’s numb but still noticeable. However, I am feeling much better about it going to the beach…

Going to the beach
Yeah, we are headed back to the OBX here real soon. Another trip into the 4x4 section. This year we managed to snag an oceanfront home for relatively the same cost per couple that we had last year. This one even has an elevator. Very nice.

I am a bit wary though as we are going a different route that was suggested to me by a coworker. I have been a beltway bomber for quite a number of years, so veering away from DC and going the Berkley Springs route is new to me. I’ve heard it’s beautiful. I just don’t want to hear the banjos stop playing... if you catch my drift.

The Banjos Stopped Playing
Everyone kept talking about watching The Hatfields and McCoys on The History Channel. Apparently, it blew away a lot of reality shows in the ratings. That’s pretty amazing, considering it’s the History Channel. However, some folks have talked about how bad the production was from the acting below the three recognizable leads to the lack of realism in the furnishings of the 19th century era old Kentucky homes.

Seems a bit odd that the Hatfields and McCoys had good dental hygiene in the backwoods of West Virginia and Kentucky.

What Else Seems Odd
The Cincinnati Reds are in town to play the Buccos and a strange story came out of the hotel room of Aroldis Chapman. While he was at the game, a 26 year old woman by the name of Claudia Manrique was in his room at the Omni William Penn, as a guest. A man came to the door, claiming to be there to fix the toilet. Later, she was found bound and screaming in the room, which had been robbed. She was interviewed by police and then released. She left the station with a towel over her head and got into a car with a man and woman with Maryland plates.

She met Chapman two months ago in DC and yet she was released and left with a man who police said was her husband. Hmmm. She also left with full knowledge of how to avoid photos… as if she had done it before… hmmm.

Nothing strange here.



Something Strange Here
This has truly been a strange week. A pig on the parkway. A zombie in Florida. Bovines in Boxford crashing a party. Some guy stabbed himself fifty times and threw his intestines at police. And someone in Canada decided to mail body parts around. Didn’t he know that you should group your shipments to save on postage?

If shit blows up while I’m at the beach, I’m staying there. Getting a little weird around here.

Monday, December 19, 2011

2011 D-Bag Awards: Sports as a Business

In this round we go beyond the one person involved with sports and directly attack the business end of sports.

So, let’s see…

The NBA – Caught with their Dirk out.
Not wanting to let the NFL have all the fun, the NBA decided to have a lockout lasting from July 1st through December 8th. While, the NFL’s lockout lasted just as long, (around five months) the NBA’s managed to cut the season short to a 66 game one. The biggest complaint, money.

What separates the NFL’s lockout from the NBA is that while the NFL was already perched to make more money, thanks to a huge TV deal, the NBA cried it was losing money to player salaries.

Come on, you had the most exciting story of the year. LeBron James shuns Cleveland to join the Miami Heat where there was a ball shortage and in the first year of playing there they reach the finals. LeBron was getting his wish. He joined a team that could bring home a trophy. Oh, but they didn’t. That’s right. The Mavericks showed them up and won 4-2. Oh, and they did it in Miami. Wow, that sucks huh? Your biggest story of the year became a joke because the team you probably hate to see win, did just that and wiped their Dirk all over your face. The man you can’t control, Mark Cuban, made a mockery of your league and I loved every minute of it. So, let’s have a lockout because YOU say you’re losing money.



The NFL – We’re all about player safety just as long as we make money.
The NFL had its own lockout this year after one of its Titanesque teams, The Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl. But, even before the lockout started, the NFL showed just how douchey it could be with the Super Bowl.

The debacle that was Dallas stadium and its mismanaging of seating and organization was laughable. It was almost as if nature conspired against them as an ice storm hit the area causing traffic accidents due to the fact that Texans just can’t handle snow and ice all that well.

Then the inconsistency of the debate during the lockout over, “We are all about player safety, but let’s have an 18 game regular season” made things even more ridiculous. You want player safety? Well, then why would you lobby for a chance to have players continue to pound and injure each other for another two weeks?

And of course, the board that hands out the punishments for helmet to helmet hits continually cannot be consistent in their judgment and punishment. Congratulations NFL, for all your posturing, the real reason you exist is to make gads of money for the owners and you continue to make a mockery of a once proud and rough and tumble sport.


The Pittsburgh Pirates - Hold On for one more season, things may go your way.
Where do I begin? The Pirates started off the year by saying that they could only increase the payroll if they could increase attendance. What appeared to be simple math became a cry of “Why aren’t you coming to the ball park?” Well, because after 18 years of sucking, you haven’t put out a decent team to root for.

That would all change if we could “Hold On” for one more day. And we did. We (not me, mind you) went to the ballpark and we cheered on our Buccos as they seemed to turn the corner. Soon, they were .500. Then they were in first place of the division. Then they had a winning streak. Then Jerry Meals shat all over us in Atlanta and the All Star Break came and then we slid down into the basement and ended the year under .500.

And to top it all off… they raised ticket prices for next year. Well, we kept our end of the bargain, now pony up some payroll and put together a winning team, douche bags.



PSU - If you're Happy and you know it, you're probably drinking too much Kool-Aid
Happy Valley, a serene and quiet agricultural town that just happens to hold the biggest secret in NCAA sports. Far beyond OSU’s players trading memorabilia for tats, far beyond Miami’s booster scandals, far beyond Cecil Newton trying to sell his son Cam to the highest bidding college, PSU held onto the biggest secret in all of collegiate sports.  It was one that brought down an empire.

As you probably saw in the last round, Jerry Sandusky took the prize as the biggest d-bag in sports personas.  After all, how could he not?  In any case, PSU facilitated the biggest cover up, potentially.  The President, the Athletic Director, the VP (who oversaw campus police), and even the one person who answered to no one, Joe Paterno.  None of them did what was right.  They only did what was required. 

If we teach our children anything about integrity and morals, it should be that when you see or hear of someone being harmed, whether or not you can verify it at that moment, you do something.  You follow up.  You take action.  This was about children and innocence and a lifetime of repercussions that would follow.   Just kicking the can down the road was akin to getting in line behind Jerry in that shower.

And for that, the mystique and invulnerability of PSU is now gone and hopefully, justice will be served.  Do not weep for your king, because your king did not do what was right.

With that, I think it's clear that PSU wins this round.  Drink up douchebags.  The Kool-Aid is just fine.


Friday, September 30, 2011

WUMF: September Edition

Ugh, it’s Fall. It’s also the end of September and that means it’s time for another WUMF.

Oktoberfest
It’s that time of year, if you don’t have enough excuses to drink beer, whether it be New Year’s, St. Patrick’s Day,… Tuesday. In any case, I’m having another beer swap at work and wanted to tell you about it.

Now we had one a couple of months ago which was geared more towards wheats and whites. I brought Penn Brewery’s Summer Berry Wheat. Others included Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat, Ithaca Apricot Wheat and Victory’s Moonglow Weizenbock. Overall, I wasn’t as impressed as the first round of our swap, which promoted Craft Beer Week.

For this one, I’m bringing Victory’s Festbier and hopefully, I’ll be introduced to some more great beers. Also, in Denver, the Great American Beer Festival is taking place.  This all got me to thinking.

Craft beers are nothing new. They’ve been around for a long time. And maybe it’s just because I’ve been recently exposed to the culture and didn’t notice it. Maybe I’m like someone who discovers that the little arrow next to the gas pump icon on your dashboard indicates which side the cap is on and thinks that I’ve discovered the cure for cancer and must share my wisdom with everyone. My point is that it seems like the craft beer industry is hitting a upward trend and I wonder why that is. After all, we are not exactly in the best economy and here we are spending a little more on beers than say Miller Lite and Budweiser.

Perhaps it’s a solidarity thing. After Anheuser-Busch was acquired by Belgium’s InBev it seemed like one of the last great American products was gone. They (InBev) laid off over 1000 workers and gave executives stock options that were potentially worth millions. It was a slap in the face to the American way of life… outside of Wall Street, that is. Maybe the craft beer industry is a way to get back at that offense. We’ll spend more money on locally brewed beers than throw money at companies who don’t stay inside the US. Or… it could be that craft beers, on the whole, are better than Budweiser.

Gambling in Pittsburgh
Last weekend, one of my friends from back in the day came to visit and stay with me and the misses and the monster. He and his girlfriend camped out in my recently emptied, but not renovated Red Room and we took in some gaming. On Saturday, we went to Dave and Buster’s for lunch and then in the evening we hit the Rivers Casino. Now, my buddy is a gamer in the sense that he loves poker and shoots a lot of pool for tournaments. He had been down from Williamsport area before to see the newly opened Pittsburgh casino and only had the option of playing video poker. Table games hadn’t come about, yet. This time around he headed for the Poker Room and we didn’t see him for about an hour. Meanwhile, I needed a dry run for next month when I go to Vegas… long story, there.

Anyway, since the regular table games were packed, at least there were no seats at the $10 table, which is almost too rich for my blood, I opted for playing slots with my wife and my buddy’s girlfriend. We hit the ATM before playing and took out $100. That was our limit. I gave my wife $50 and I took $50. She dropped $12 into the slot machines and came up with nothing. I dropped $20 into some of the more traditional slots and saw it dwindle to about $7.00. I took that over to another slot machine called Jungle Wild, I think, and coupled it with a $0.35 credit slip I found laying around and decided to just blow the rest of the $20 I started with on slots.

The Jungle Wild machine had a feature where you could get five free spins and that paid off in spades. My wife usually plays the minimum bet because she likes it simple. Me, I take the maximum number of combinations for a single cost per line. I managed to get the five free spins and turned my $7.35 into $38.26. Not bad. I then spent about twenty minutes watching people at the $10 Black Jack table, waiting for an opening. Finally, I got to sit down next to this little old Asian lady who didn’t speak English that much. I bought in for $40 and figured I’d be done in about 20 minutes. I say that because on my first hand, I had double aces. I split that and ended up with an A3 and another double ace. Now, I made a huge mistake because I meant to say, no more splitting… which I think you can’t do anyway. However, I made the sign for ‘Stay’ and was left with 14 and 12 against a dealer showing a King. DOH! I could potentially had another $20 added to my stack. For all us amateurs, it pays to learn a bit about gambling. Don’t be a Yinzer who wanders into the casino after a Pitt/Notre Dame game and has no clue how to play the tables. Know what the signs are and know what the rules are. It will help you. Like I said, this was a dry run for Vegas.

Anyway, after about a half hour they announced that they were raising the table to $15 which was more than I was willing to spend on a hand. So, I figured I’d play out the table minimum and leave once it changed. My little old lady friend even threw me a dollar chip to put on the Natural 20 spot which I told her not to do because it seems like a sucker bet. My buddy and the girls showed up and I handed my wife $40 in chips. I said, don’t lose those. Meanwhile, I had $40 on the table, still. I was doing pretty well and I should have left at that point. My buddy was not so lucky. He sank $100 at the Poker Room and his girlfriend sunk $100 in slots.

Once I lost the chips I had on the table, I walked away even. My buddy had a couple of dollars left and I told him to hit the slot machine I had done earlier. He put in a dollar and in one $0.80 spin, he got the five free ones which turned his dollar into $90. Not bad for dropping $100 on poker.

In all, we ended up spending $2 of our money and that’s just fine by me. I have no delusions about making a fortune at the casino. I just like to have fun.



The Pirates
Speaking of losing your shirt. Boy, what happened there? 72-90 record. Better luck next year and thanks for raising prices.  Maybe, one day, you could lose on purpose, likeYankees do.

The Steelers
I don’t know what to think here. I’m a diehard fan but I’m beginning to believe there is something to be said for the Super Bowl hangover theory. Maybe the lack of an offseason has lead to a gelling problem for the team but the offensive line is in shambles, there are far more injuries this year, across the league even, and it’s not even October. Someone put Troy Polumalu in bubble wrap until January. Once again, the fines or lack thereof in some cases are ridiculous. Haynesworth has yet to receive a suspension for violating the conduct policy… something that Roethlisberger got six games for allegedly doing, yet he was never charged. Hmm, could it be that Haynesworth plays for New England. Couldn’t be, right? Goodell has probably burned all the security footage of the incident with the same match as the Spygate tapes.

The Penguins
We got Malkin back on the ice and it’s nice to know he’s back to producing. Let’s hope Sid gets back soon and in the best shape he can be in for the season. I know he’s been subjected to a lot of criticism of the years and it just screams justification over this concussion thing. But you know what? The people who criticize Crosby are the same ones who’ve never dealt with that kind of thing before. There are people who have come forward and said that their quality of life was reduced dramatically after a concussion and not even one obtained in the manner that Crosby got his. You don’t mess with that kind of thing and let’s hope there is no long term damage. The kid’s not even 30 yet.



Take care and we’ll see you next month.


Thursday, September 1, 2011

WUMF: August Edition

Late entry this month in the WUMF column. Unfortunately, I’ve been really busy with… actual work and it’s cut into my ability to tend to the side business. Anyway, enough excuses, here’s what’s been happening.

The Pirates
OK, I admit it. I got temporarily sucked back in by them this year. I was almost ready to board the bandwagon. Hell, I even designed t-shirts in tribute to them. Then, they went back to smacking me around after a hard day of drinking. And here I sit, dejected that I fell for it, almost.

Frankly, when they said in the beginning of the year that, in order for them to spend more money on the team, the fans would have to help by raising attendance, I scoffed. How dare they expect us to be the catalyst for this team’s rebirth. Then, a funny thing happened. They started playing better. All of a sudden, attendance increased. So, the fans did their part. Would the Pirates do theirs? They went out and signed two players ahead of the trade deadline. Um… yeah, that’s not exactly who we figured you’d go out and buy. Two guys who end up banged up or just a bust to start. Still, the bullpen held it together and the wins were coming. We were in first place. We were contenders. That was July.

Now, we are heading into September with a dismal percentage, out of the running for the division and slim hopes of breaking .500 for the season at this pace. What happened? We either suck the entire season or do really well for the first half.

Let me put this way. Back in my early days of Junior High, seventh grade to be exact, I joined the track team. Shocked? I am. I threw discus and shot put, not very well, mind you. Occasionally, they had what was called a hog race. That’s when the bigger guys on the team do a relay or run a 220 or 440 yard dash. Now, I will contest that even though I wasn’t the most physically fit, I could sprint pretty well. By pitting me against other guys in my body type, for short distances, I was pretty sure I could take them. I got into a 220 yard dash against other shot putters and discus throwers and felt pretty confident. The gun went off and so did I. I was way out ahead by the first turn. I had an even more commanding lead by the straightaway. At the 220 mark I was a clear winner. I was also in a 440 yard dash and didn’t know it. I stopped dead, thinking I was done while everyone kept running. By then it was too late and I was dead tired. I limped into the finish in last place. I WAS the 2011 Pittsburgh Pirates.

The only thing that would have made matters worse would have been if I were to come out at the next match and said, I am going to bet the school on every event I’m in and I just signed up for the mile run. That’s what the Pirates are doing by raising ticket prices. They blew their wad too early and now they are risking all credibility by saying, “Hey look what we accomplished doing it our way. Now, we’re going to charge you more to be half good.” Don’t be surprised if Andrew McCutchen starts to look away from Pittsburgh as the post season goes on without them. They haven’t thrown the money at him that he deserves, yet.

S#!t My Kid Says
I’ve long said that my kid is the funniest little shit on the planet. Even when it’s inappropriate she makes me laugh. Of course, I am the king of inappropriate.

Due to a scheduling snafu, she had to stay at my parents’ house overnight last week. On the way there, we gave her the usual rundown of rules. Be good. Eat the food she gives you. Go to bed when it’s time. Etc. We also threw in one special request. Don’t swear.

She’s four.

I know. It’s my fault. I let her watch things she shouldn’t and out of all the things she could pick up or imitate from a movie or show, she has to pick the swear words out. And it’s not that my parents are prudes. No way. I didn’t end up like I am because of society. I ended up like this because my Dad let us kids watch Monty Python and Benny Hill when I was my kid’s age. I saw Die Hard in the theater, when I was 12, but I already knew John McClane’s catchphrase prior to that.

So, there we were telling my kid not to say bad words in front of Grammie and she says, “Even asshole?”

Funny kid.



2011 VMAs
I have gone on, at length, about how I hate MTV, now. I can’t understand how they can hold an award show that rewards videos when they don’t even play them on their own network, anymore. The VMAs haven’t been the show they were since the late 80s and early 90s. I didn’t even watch it but saw clips and read about it which is more time that I would have wanted to devote to the subject. My thoughts are this…

  • Why do we continue to honor or applaud Chris Brown? Props to Jay-Z for not standing.
  • Why does Lady Gaga look like a cross between Ralph Macchio from The Outsiders and Billy Joe Armstrong?
  • Why are we shocked and why do we care that she went drag? She wore a suit of meat before.
  • Why is Justin Bieber allowed to drive a Black Ferrari?  And, how's the car doing?  Will he get sued a year later?
  • Why is Britney Spears getting the lifetime achievement award when she’s not been around that long?Look at the list of recipients?  Granted, Madonna was named in 86 but her achievements far outshone Britney’s in the span of time before she received it.
  • Is Beyonce pregnant? (That was a joke)

  
That’s it. I’m out.


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

WUMF: July Edition (Now with more Pittsburgh n'at!)

What’s up my friends. It’s that time again, time for another edition of WUMF.   This time, it's all Burgh.

U2 in the Burgh
A lot of friends and coworkers have fallen victim to the dreaded Chinese disease, Dragon Ass. As I drove home from work yesterday I passed the giant monstrosity that took up the bulk of the view of Heinz Field from the Fort Pitt Bridge. I did not attend the concert.

I haven’t gone to a concert since the Stretch the Summer concert back in 200..whatever. It was back when B-94 was around for the second time and all I remember was that Macy Gray would not stop singing. We left before Third Eye Blind came on stage because it was already 10 pm.

It’s not that I’m even that big of a fan of U2. I think I stopped following them after they did that song for Batman Forever. I actually liked that song, too. It was just a horrid movie. Pretty much, post 1993 was the end of my concern for what Bono and company did. My favorite songs are still “The Wanderer” and “Where the Streets Have No Name.” I guess they are still awesome live, compared to most artists these days. I just don’t care enough to drop a couple hundred dollars for tickets.

Jerry Meals Says It’s Safe
After 19 innings and around six hours of baseball, the Pirates lost a game in Atlanta on a horribly blown call at the plate. Yes, the Buccos are relevant. Yes, they are playing the best baseball they have every played in 19 years. Yes, the call was wrong. That does not change my view that this organization needs new ownership.

However, that was a crap call and has started the trend on twitter, #JerryMealsSaysItsSafe. I’ve already been having fun with it. And, have a shirt already up for sale calling out that horrible play.


Here is the video of the call.

You can see McHenry tag him before he gets anywhere near the plate. Then, after he’s standing there, the runner tags the plate again as Meals calls him safe. Just to be sure.

If the MLB suspends Meals for this, I hope he doesn’t consider a career change. I’d hate to see him working for the TSA. “Go ahead, that gun looks safe to me.”

More on the Buccos
I need to reiterate my position about the Pirates.  I was a die hard fan most of my life.  I used to love going to games at Three Rivers.  Yes, I kind of turned my back on the club after they spiraled into less than adequacy, but it's because of the ownership.  I refuse to put money in Nutting's pocket.  It's not about a dislike for the team.   Yes, I still twitch when I hear the name Sid Bream.  But, I generally like the ball club.  I just hate the owners.

I’m glad the team is winning and I think they have the right coach, finally. But, let’s not kid ourselves. If they make it to the post season, they are going to need more than a smoking bullpen to beat teams like the Brewers and the Phillies. If they do not secure a bat or two before the trade deadline, and frankly, I don’t see how they can do it without giving up some great players or major cash. There are other teams out there willing to drop a few million for a rental player to carry them through the post season. Pittsburgh is still not thinking in those terms and maybe that is a good thing. I have always admonished the Yankees for buying the best players instead of growing them, but these two clubs are on either end of the spectrum when it comes to running things.

My only grievance with this season is that it gives undue validation to Nutting’s style of ownership. Remember back in the beginning of the year when they said that the ability to spend money relies on attendance. Well, you guys put out a decent product and the fans came back, selling out the ballpark on more than one occasion. Now, it’s time to keep up your end of the bargain.

Even More Buccos
I’m currently in competition with another Pittsburgh T-Shirt Designer for favorite Pirates shirt on BoringPgh.com.  My Raise It! shirt is going up against The Fresh Factory’s We Are Family shirt. I say, awesome for me just to be mentioned on a Pittsburgh blog and to be up against The Fresh Factory. So, go over here and vote for your favorite… which is mine, right? >:(




Have a great month, see you in 31.


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Pittsbugh Sports Just Don't Make Sense Right Now

I think the heat has been getting to the city of Pittsburgh. Here it is almost the end of July and the following has occurred.
  • Jaromir Jagr and Max Talbot are now both playing for the Philadelphia Flyers.
  • Ben Roethlisberger is getting married.
  • Training Camp may or may not happen for the Steelers, let alone every other team.
  • Hines Ward has been stopped by police, not once, but twice in vehicle related incidents, with the latter resulting in his being arrested for DUI.
  • The Pirates were just in first place of the NL Central after losing 18 straight seasons. (They are now a 1/2 game back I believe.)

The world just doesn’t make sense anymore.

I want my Penguins and former Penguins to be playing only in Pittsburgh.
I want my quarterback in the middle of a sexual harassment investigation.
I want my Steelers at St. Vincent and Casey Hampton to be near the PUP list status.
I want my Star Receiver to be smiling for the TV, not a mug shot.
And I want my Battling Buccos to be in the basement so I can feel good about Nutting and Co.’s inability to manage a baseball team in the hopes that someone with real experience and desire to win buys the team.

Is that too much to ask?

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Buccos Brewhaha With Local Bar

Yes, I spelled 'Brouhaha' wrong on purpose.
I had planned out a lengthy, count 20 paragraphs, post about this story.  Instead, I'm listing a few links because each one has it differences.  You be the judge on who is right and who is wrong.

Coonelly 'scolded' Bar Owner:  Warning... Bob Smizek alert.
'Pirates Lose' Beer Special Brings Bar Heat From Team‎:  WTAE
Bar Discounted Beer Every Time The Pirates Lost; Team Bullies Them Into Ending Promotion: Deadspin


In essence, a local bar offered a discount of five cents off a pitcher of beer every time the Pirates lose a game.  It's a consolation prize for fans who patronize the bar.  It was taken as a jab at the ball club and someone within the Pirates' front office asked for a boycott of the bar using Pirates' letterhead in her communication.  That caused the owner to contact the news media, which in turn caused Frank Coonelly to contact the owner, which caused everyone to jump all over this because the Pirates' Front Office is evil.  Right?
My take on all this...

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?+infinity.

The Pirates suck.  They have sucked for 18 years.  They continue to suck.  News media in Pittsburgh makes fun of them.  Locals make fun of them.  Other teams make fun of them.  Yet, this little bar in Kennedy Township is the straw that broke the camel's back?

When I was 16, I did a stupid thing.   To which everyone says, "Only one?"  That week, yes.  Anyway, I went with some friends and participated in egging a house on Halloween.   What I didn't know was that everyone egged this house.  It was listed in Zagat's guide to egging and corning houses.  I swear....  (No, I don't, really.)  Yet, apparently, my friends and I were that proverbial straw, because the homeowner chased us down and got my friend's plate number.  The next day, cops called my house and I was fined $93.  I also got grounded for the first and only time in my life where it lasted more than five minutes.   I also had to miss a Def Leppard concert, which I paid for with my paper route money.  Lesson learned. 

The point is that the Pirates have been the egged house for so long that someone felt compelled to fight back against a semi-satirical jab at their losing streak.  Now, it's a major news story.  It didn't need to be.

Was the Pirates' employee wrong?  Yes.
Was the promotion a bad idea?  No.
Was Frank Coonelly rude and an 'arrogant ass' as the bar owner said in a WDVE interview?  Maybe.

Frank has a track record and looks guilty, no matter what he says to the contrary about the incident.  What he needs to do is take ownership of the situation that was created by his staff and promote the fact that it was a mistake and steps are being taken to readdress company policy about such matters.  He should also make amends with the bar owner and she should make amends with him.   Then he should go out and start winning some ball games or my friends and I will be looking for his house in the latest edition of "Places to TP in Pittsburgh".

Besides, what right do the Pirates have in even calling out this business?  It's a free country.  The only real loser is the bar, which would have ended up serving free beer by the All Star break.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

WUMF: April Edition

End of April already?

WOW.  That means another Edition of WUMF is in order. For those of you just tuning in, smack yo selves!

I’ll wait. Make it a good one.

There. Better?

OK, like I said, for those of you just tuning in, WUMF stands for What’s Up My Friends. Basically, this is me just phoning in a post at the end of the month that ties up some loose stuff that happened which didn’t constitute a full post or at least didn’t happen because I was lazy.

1. Mother Nature Just Made the D-Bag Awards Ballot
This past month’s weather has been ridiculous and coupled with last month’s tornado here in my area, Mother Nature has secured her place on the D-Bag of the Year awards for 2011. Between the Earthquake and Tsunami in Japan, the tornadoes that ripped through the south and especially the one mile wide EF5 Tornado that just engulfed Tuscaloosa Alabama there is mounting evidence that Mother Nature is pissed off this year.



2. Hooked on Phonics and Beer Works For My Kid
Last month my kid’s KinderCare teacher sent home a progress report stating that she has not been mastering such concepts like creativity or spelling. After putting aside the ‘My kid is a genius, you’re wrong!’ mentality, I began questioning my daughter on why she doesn’t seem to be showing how smart she is in school.

Her answers amounted to, “I don’t like answering the teacher when she asks me those questions.” That tells me that she knows the answers but just doesn’t want to be an organ grinder monkey and perform on cue.

First, her creativity and ability to solve problems in a creative manner shone through this Easter as she decorated the house, on her own using an empty Scooby-Doo Rohgurt box and a Silly Bandz to create a hanging decoration. She realized that the open flap of the box wouldn’t hang on the nail, so she attached the Silly Bandz as a way to hang on the nail.


Next we worked on letters and numbers. We’ve been working in a book that has all kinds of activities surrounding letters and numbers. She does a pretty mean connect the dots exercise, calling out all the letters and numbers by name. However, the most impressive feat of intelligence was being able to spell “Pittsburgh”, “Steelers”, and “Moosehead” from the various signs around the restaurant/bar that we often go to for dinner. We didn’t even have to prompt her. She willingly says, “That is spelled…” So, it’s not that she’s dumb. She would rather do it on her own time… at the bar.

3. Golf Season starts for the Penguins
Last night was a frustrating loss at the hands of the Tampa Bay Lightning. Considering how the Pens got to the playoffs after losing Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin to injuries and Matt Cooke to stupidity I can say that they really did perform beyond expectations. This is a team that found a way to win during the regular season with so many issues. However, when you get to playoff hockey, you need a little more. They just didn’t have it. Haters will say, “Kovalev did nothing.” “Neal underperformed.” “Fleury fell apart.” “The fans lost faith.” And there is some truth to that. But the reality is that this team did way more than it should have done, given its makeup and they were playing with House Money.

Tampa Bay is not a Stanley Cup winning team, this year. They aren’t. But they were better than the Pens and managed to overcome a three game deficit and win. 

Game Sevens are notoriously bad luck for the Pens and yet it should never have come to that. Fleury shares some blame for that but the scoring was just not there. You cannot expect a team to go into a playoff run without having the ability to score on the Power Play. For as much blame as there is to be heaped on Fleury, who played awesomely during Game Seven, there is just as much blame to be placed on the offense. Now, Fleury did fall for that play behind the net leading to Tampa Bay’s only score of the game. We saw that in Game Si. But the defense should have picked up the blind spot and let Fleury try to follow the puck if they happened to not pull off that move and wrap around the front.

Finally, it was not meant to be. Believing this team could win a Stanley Cup was wishful thinking, at best. It is a better thing that they would not have had to face The Caps in round two, because the disappointment would have been all that much greater. There would have been hopes that Crosby would have come back to square off against Ovie and had he not, it would have crushed the city that much more. Let him take the off season to fully recover from the concussions and we’ll try again next year.   Just do me a favor, powers that be, do not schedule Pensguins' playoff hockey games on the same night as Pirates games.  It seems that every time the Pirates would win, the Pens would lose.  Pittsburgh has somehow fallen off its axis and PAT buses, all three of them have started sliding up the sides of skyscrapers, Inception style.

4.  Bailey, Pick Up Line One
Some outfit with the University of Chicago keeps calling my house to do a survey about kids. After the first couple of times of getting no messages on my machine I called them back. I asked them to take my number off the list and they said sure. They promptly called two more times the next week. I answered one of them and asked them again to remove my number from their list. They promptly called me two more times this week.

My daughter got a tape recorder for Easter. My mother read a bunch of books and recorded her voice to tape for my kid to play and read along. While this may seem like a totally unrelated piece of useless information, I plan on putting a blank tape in the recorder and waiting until the next time the bastards call back. Then, I’ll let my kid answer the phone and record the call from the phone in the other room. Hilarity will ensue and maybe they’ll get the point.

Here’s to May.



Monday, February 28, 2011

WUMF: February Edition

We are finally inching towards Spring, which amazingly we've had a week where it was 60 degrees, followed by six to ten inches of snow, followed by 60 degrees. This can only mean locusts and boils are coming, folks.  I admit I’ve been working on this post for over two weeks. Actually, it’s been more like I spent fifteen minutes and slacked for the rest of the two weeks. In any case, here’s a smattering of WUMF for ya.


1. The Lesser Man Project: Week OHHELLIDON’TKNOW
I haven’t given on update on this in a long while but here’s the lowdown. Still sticking to the game plan but there were days of weakness and I did indulge in the “Cake in the Break Room” practice. This is where I started my downward spiral before. I managed to curb that habit, real quick. I’ve been eating fish at least once a week. Yeah, it’s breaded but sooooo good.

Having gotten over a bad couple of weeks of reoccurring stomach flu, I managed to not gain any weight back, which is good. But, then again, I’ve been hovering around the 20 lbs. mark for a month now, which is bad. With the weather getting nicer, here, It’s in the high 60s and still February the chances for more exercise increased but the opportunities are less because I’m losing an hour in drive time which puts me at not getting home until almost 6pm some days. I’ll need to find more excuses to get into the pool this summer, if just to do circles to help clean it.

2. Happy Time, Peggy!
After eight years I have finally freed myself of the biggest albatross around my neck. I worded my Facebook status to sound as if I had become single or ended a bad relationship, which I have. Just not with my wife, that is. Granted, my wife was involved but it’s more complicated than that.

Right around the time I started thinking about buying a house I was sort of strong armed into doing something I had resisted for seven years. I managed to get buy in life with not having a credit card. I used my check card for everything and if I didn’t have the cash, I didn’t buy it. But in order to establish a good credit standing I needed to have a card. So, I got one. My then fiancée had one. Then I went and purchased something and put it on the card. Then my fiancée did. Soon, I had two cards and she had three. Every time I’d amass a little bit of debt, I’d see another offer for a card that could transfer a balance and not hit me with a finance charge if I paid it off in time. So, I’d card jump and then my fiancée, turned wife would piggy back. Then we found ourselves with a considerable amount of card debt. Then we bought a house, then a car, then had a kid, then another car, then Christmases and vacations followed.

The point is there was always this looming debt that stared me in the face. Now, with the help of some strict spending habits and the shirt shops, I have managed to whittle down that debt into nothing. I still have a mortgage and a car payment and my monthly utility bills but there is no huge stone of debt hanging over my head. As the credit card companies get whacked with regulations, only to come back and figure out new ways to weasel more charges out of you, it’s nice to know I don’t have to play that game, anymore. Now, I can start working on that other pile of debt I have. Parental loans. I owe my Dad some money for the balloon payment on my car. After I hit the five year financing wall, I had a considerable amount still left to pay off and he was nice enough to grab it. Unfortunately, I stopped giving him checks because I had to focus on the other stuff but I’m ready to resume giving him money. I also owe a small bit to my Father-in-law because he fronted the down payment on this year’s vacation house. I could give that to him, easily but he gets funny about it, so I might pay him out of our tax return. That way he won’t think we’re going to go broke from it.

3. WE WILL: Not Compete
The Suckos are back in Spring Training, going for that Grape Fruit League pennant. The stark comparison is the news that Albert Pujols wanted $300 million over 10 years. Can you imagine McCutcheon or Alvarez asking for a ten year commitment for $300 million dollars? Can you imagine Bob Nutting giving more than a tenth of that for the same amount of time? They certainly wouldn’t have put up near the amount that Jose Bautista, former Pirate, is getting from the Blue Jays.

I say it’s time to institute a limit on payrolls. The players union would never go for a salary cap, so don’t think I’m not talking about one. Yes, it would curb the Yankees spending. I’m talking about a limit on how little a player can be paid. That would force the organization to have fund a minimum amount into their players payroll and have to start using that slush fund of revenue sharing from the bigger market teams to do it.

Naysayers will point to the 2010 World Series as proof that you don’t need to have a big bankroll to win a championship. Fine. I’ll accept that you can win on talent grown, not bought. However, the Giants and the Texans were forced to compete to get to that level. The Pirates are not forced to compete as long as the profits outweigh the infrastructure. And if Nutting plans on waiting until the wheels fall off to sell at a profit then let’s beat him to the pass and initiate a hostile takeover of the team. Green Bay pretty much owns the Packers and they just won the Super Bowl. Pittsburgh’s the kind of town that could handle that kind of thing. But if Nutting claims that everything is above board, then open the books and let someone take a look.

The most current news is that Frank Coonley said that they could not, at present, sustain a $70 million payroll and that they could not without a significant rise in attendance. Everyone jumped on this and said, “He’s blaming the fans! They won’t spend money because we refuse to come out and support a crappy product! Eff him and eff Nutting, too.” Well, that’s not what he’s saying… exactly. He’s saying that given the current climate, the club could not put $70 million towards payroll. He’s also saying that in order to get that kind of money, attendance would have to increase. It’s a non issue. The fans are never going to come back just to increase the payroll. They will have to win a pennant in order for attendance to rise that much. He’s not blaming the fans as much as he’s putting the weight of the future of them paying for talent on their shoulders and he’s flat out saying that it isn’t a possibility. So, they either keep floundering and attendance continues to drop or the find the right combination of raw talent that will elevate them into a winning season.

Personally, there is no chance in hell they will ever be able to pay for talent to come here without getting at least one high profile player. Then again, no high profile player would come here. The only scenario I can paint is that the team finally starts to lose money so Nutting bails, still getting a huge profit. The new owners will preferably be willing to spend some money up front and secure a top name player with the promise that they will help bring up and comers around and attract more high profile players. Small incremental steps that will probably cause there to be a few instances of losing money yet fans will believe that the front office is trying, in earnest, to turn the ship around and will come back out. That drives up attendance and payroll and we can start winning again.

4.  Jobby Job.
The new job is going well. I’ve finally taken a huge step into the world of process flow diagrams and learned Visio. It’s like a snake eating its own tail or at the least like playing Sudoku. Once you think you’ve got it all figured out you find yourself having to go back and tweak an early step. For someone who used to spend his time doing the crossword puzzles in ink, as a rule, it sucks.

Now, I’ve gone into some kind of quasi overlay of how to set access levels and tag knowledge with permissions. The finished product gave me a headache and made me wonder if there was a sailboat hidden in the picture. If anything, I wanted to quit smoking and give a complete stranger $50. I don’t even smoke.

5.  Sport or Skills Competition?
As a part of that whole job thing, I am forced to sit in a lot of traffic to and from work.  With one hand on the wheel and one on the dial I am constantly looking for something to keep my mind from psychically blowing up the cars in front of me.  One of those things is usually, The Fan, which is the local sports talk radio station.  The great thing about it is that they do discuss Pittsburgh sports.  The bad thing is that they bait people into debates which drives up ratings and gets people to call in and text.  Something that plays into their numbers, I'm sure.  Anyway, the afternoon show fired a direct shot at Southwestern Pennsylvania, specifically my old homestead of Fayette Nam.   They claimed NASCAR was not a sport.

After switching to a substation for power because of the blackout from too many lights going on with the phones, they took callers who could try and defend the claim, that it is.   Sad to say, not a one was able to convince the hosts, or me for that matter that NASCAR was, indeed, a sport. 

The callers said, "They are the most gracious of people when it comes to their fans." 

So?  That says nothing for athletics or sports.

"They are the biggest attraction for people."

Again, so?

Look, it you want to make the claim then say that the drivers are the most athletically skilled persons, using hand to eye coordination and agility to navigate and make quick decisions.  That would be something along the lines of a positive claim.  Frankly, I have to agree that NASCAR is not a sport, in the definition of what I feel a sport is.  It is a skills competition.  Darts are skills competition.  Golf is a skills competition.  Any activity that does not require some kind of cardio activity is not a true sport.  Olympic Diving... skills competition.  Bowling... skills competition.   Curling... waste of time.

Can drivers burn a lot of calories?  Sure.  There is a lot of tension and muscle flexing that goes on inside the car.  But there is no workout on the level of say a sprint to the warning track to catch a fly ball or a breakaway in hockey.  That's not to say that drivers and golfers are not athletes but when you can count John Daly in your ranks, then you have to think about whether or not it's really a sport. 


That’s all for this edition of WUMF. Be well.


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

2010 D-Bag Awards Round Seven: In Charge D-Bags

Those wacky CEOs. They’ve got the world on a string. And some of them are the biggest d-bags in business. Here’s the lowdown on the final round of nominations for the 2010 D-Bag Awards.

Steve Jobs
Normally, I wouldn’t care what Steve Jobs did. Normally, I’d be willing to praise Apple for what it has done in the tech sector. I loved my iPod and even though I am not a Mac user, I do like them in the case of doing graphic design. Well, that has all changed. 2010 was shining big ball of poop for the Apple CEO. Dating back to the invention of the iPhone, Apple has become a bit of a snob with its products. Yes, you can blame the issues with coverage on AT&T but the bottom line is that Apple is responsible for making that business decision to go solely with AT&T.

The latest version of the iPhone, called iPhone 4, had a huge flaw that was a tipping point for ole Stevie ending up on the list. The gap on the case caused dropped calls when you touched it. It’s not a flaw, it’s a feature, right? Wrong. As in, “You’re holding it wrong.” That was Steve’s message to the masses about the issue. Well, if you are using the phone as a phone and aren’t used to holding it with the particular hand that Jobs is telling people to use, then it’s a flaw, in my book. Telling people that they’re doing it wrong is not good customer service. It’s back peddling over an issue that you either knew about and tried to sneak past the censors or it’s something you were oblivious to and are now coming up with a story to cover your ass. Oh, and did I mention that Steve was detained in an airport following the discovery of ninja stars in his luggage? Steve said he’d never visit Japan again after being detained for trying to take the weapons aboard his own private jet. Um, just because it’s a private jet and it’s yours doesn’t mean you couldn’t decide to take them to another airport and do something. It would be nice if Japan decided to stop using Apple products in return. Hey, Steve. YOU are doing it wrong.

Bob Nutting
I so wanted to give the round to Bob. I really did. As a Pittsburgher and a once huge fan of the Pirates I really wanted to bring Bob down, but I couldn’t. First of all, I don’t have that kind of power. Secondly, it’s not like Bob doesn’t already know exactly what he is doing. He’s made losing a profitable science. 18 years. 18 YEARS of losing is what we are used to in Pittsburgh and we are not a town that understands losing for a profit. We went to the Super Bowl, on the road, as a sixth seed which did nothing to earn the city any money in tourist revenues and we were happy about it because it was about winning and being the best, not about money. Now, that’s not to say that the bottom line is that we don’t want the money. You need to pay the players and you need to fund the organization. However, when you specifically do what you can to lose which nets you millions in profit, that’s is worth of being a d-bag.

Now, I cannot say with 100% certainty that Bob Nutting is purposely trying to lose in order to keep his payroll low and turn a profit from season ticket sales and revenue sharing from the bigger market teams. But it does look to be a little suspicious. Oh, and how are Rinku and Dinesh doing? Oh, that’s right. You released Dinesh after the season. And Singh, well he was promoted to Class A Short-Season affiliate. Any chance He’ll be making it through to the big game?



And the winner is?



Roger Goodell
Again, I am a little bit biased because I am from Pittsburgh but I think it is safe to say that Roger Goodell is clearly the winner here. I have gone on, at length about how I despise him. I think he is turning the NFL into a ridiculous corporation bent on making money and not about upholding any values. He talks about wanting to protect the players from injury and yet wants to add two more bone crushing regular season games. If this year is any indication of how much the regular season punishes players then imagine going into weeks 18 and 19 with hardly any starters because of injury, not to mention playoffs. He talks about reckless tackling, leading with helmets and defenseless players, yet the officials do not call penalties on half of the more serious offenses to players such as personal fouls against certain quarterbacks. After all, someone as pretty as Tom Brady and as marketable as Peyton Manning would certainly draw a personal foul if a defensive player merely looked at them wrong, but other quarterbacks are chopped and drilled and slapped and punched and bloodied in the name of “legal contact.”

Oh, and where is Brett Favre’s punishment for doing what he did. Granted, he may never face any legal action for what he allegedly did, but it’s on par with what Ben Roethlisberger supposedly did and he was given a six game suspension. I am neither defending nor condoning what Ben may or may not have done. I am merely pointing out a lateral argument. Both were involved with allegations of sexual harassment or conduct unbecoming an NFL player and yet Ben was given a six game, reduced to four, suspension and Brett has yet to see any kind of punishment and will probably retire before any is doled out. If there were any more contradictory behavior on the part of Goodell he would have ended up on my political list. But for now, he earns the praise as d-bag extraordinaire as a man in charge.


Monday, June 21, 2010

Pittsburgh Pirates Get Rid Of Dead Weight Month Before Trade Deadline

As Pirates fans consider the shame of 18 losing seasons for the battling Buccos, a turn events may have unlatched the albatross that has hung their necks like a Bjork Oscar gown. This shift in momentum comes shortly after it was revealed that manager John Russell and GM Neal Huntington had their contracts secretly extended last October.

After a 12 game losing streak, the Pirates managed to take two from the Cleveland Indians this weekend. Had they lost these two games they would have beaten their longest losing streak from 1890. Now, it’s one thing to see a team that hasn’t had a winning season since the class of 2010 was born, it’s an entirely different thing when they start breaking bad records from when the class of 1908 was born. So, what did the Pirates do to fix their leaky vessel? Bring up Pedro Alvarez? Designate Aki Iwamura for assignment? No. They fired a pierogi.

That’s right sports fans, they trimmed the fat from their roster by dumping a dumpling. Turns out, the kid who sported the pierogi suit, one of 18 men who race between the fifth and sixth innings dressed up as a pierogi, put a disparaging remark in his Facebook post about the contract extensions that lead to his dismissal. Clearly, he was a threat to the morale of the team. He was a poison pierogi, hanging in the club’s belly like a lead bullet. I’m surprised he hasn’t been banned from baseball altogether. He deserves to be sautéed in garlic and butter and then left out in the sun to rot at a County Fair.

Honestly, this is your answer, guys? The kid says what we’re all thinking and you fire him? You know, it’s not like anyone would recognize this kid out on the street as a representative of the Pirates’ organization. Well, let me rephrase that. It’s not like anyone would HAVE RECOGNIZED this kid before you fired him. Now, the story is national news showing up in USA Today. Businessmen in Holiday Inns, all over the country, woke up to the freshly delivered paper adorning their room service stained door steps and saw the news, Pirates fire racing pierogi mascot for Facebook criticism. That’s like being told you’re a lousy employee and then going home and kicking your dog in retribution. Guess what? The kid is right.

He posted a disparaging remark on a social network. All you had to do was ask him to remove it. Nope, you decided to use a nuclear warhead to get rid of a few pesky ants. Now, I have not looked at the facebook page of Andrew Kurtz but I’m willing to believe that not only did more than a handful of people LIKE his post, he now has more than a handful of new friends on facebook. In fact, he already has been offered a job with the Washington Wild Things, a local baseball team in the Frontier League. Look, if you’re really pissed about the response to your organization’s inability to break .500 for the year then maybe fix the problem, not fire the mascot. Better yet, explain why you decided to keep the contract extensions of two of your suspected problems a secret? Why not come out in October and say, “You know what? We had a bad season. But I have faith in these two guys so, we’re going to extend their contracts.” You know why you didn’t say it. Because you looked on the schedule for next year and saw one of the games was torch and pitchfork night and thought, maybe I better keep this to myself.

I guess the real point of this story is the ever present threat to employment by Facebook posts. I’m surprised and shocked that no balls to the wall, Judd Nelson style in From the Hip or Denzel Washington in Philadelphia, lawyer has not tried to sue the pants off of an employer for firing a worker who had an opinion on Facebook or twitter. Apparently, freedom of speech is no match against the HR machine. If it wasn’t the fact that Andrew was a part time employee he may have had some reason to be truly upset and miffed. But, now he can disparage the Pirates all he wants, because he is now like all the other employees who probably had a smidgen of talent, working somewhere else. And to those who cry, “But according to the news, he was already on a suspension for violating company policy.” He’s a freaking pierogi. It’s not like he tweeted trade secrets or gave insider odds on who was going to win a race. “FYI, Oliver’s juicing and Hannah’s got a sprained noodle. Count on me for the win!”

But now, that’s all over. Nutting, you’ve turned the ship around and are sailing high on the water with a two game winning streak. I smell success. I smell contention. I smell pennant. I smell dinner cooking. Bob Nutting is sitting in his office feasting on the remains of Cheese Chester, laughing at the notion that he finally cracked the curse of Sid Bream with every cheesy bite. Stay Classy, Buccos.








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