Final Thoughts on Skyfall

Purists cling to the roots of what they know.  They are specific and unwavering in their devotion to an established format.

Bond purists have 50 years of material to either embrace or rage against.   They want their Bond films to follow the formula, never deviating from the point.  If at all possible, they want the films to circle back to Ian Fleming’s canonical center.

I am a Bond purist in flux because I also have a theatre background.    That background takes into account the source material and looks for ways to interpret it in a manner that suits a time and place more closely associated with what’s going on in the world.   I look at Shakespeare and see the ways it can be done in an Elizabethan setting as well as a strip mall outside of Red Bank, New Jersey.

The Craig era of Bond films have deviated from the original formula much like the 1985 timeline in Back to the Future Part II, where Biff is corrupt, powerful, and married to Marty’s mother.  But this deviation isn’t a bad thing.  It’s similar to what J.J. Abrams did with Star Trek and I’m sure Star Trek purists rage quit the Internet after that movie came out.   But Bond’s deviation with Daniel Craig in the role has made Bond less gimmicky and silly.  There are no slide whistles going off when Bond performs a slow motion jump over something like in The Man With the Golden Gun.

But, as Skyfall course corrects into future Bond films, the danger is that the films will stagger down the same path as its predecessors.    The hokey gags, chases, and fourth wall obliteration need to be stricken from the writers’ minds and focus on the material and how they can interpret it in our current world.    Bond has a tendency to become content in his skin and the movies serve to be an indication as to when the series needs a fresh start.   At the time, watching A View To a Kill was nothing short of childlike giddiness, but as an adult, watching it on my Blu-Ray collection, it became painful.  At 57, Roger Moore’s age makes it harder to suspend disbelief that he could fashion a snowboard from the runner of a snow mobile, cruising down the slopes with the Beach Boys playing in the background.

Craig has one thing going for him with Bond that the other actors didn’t.  His Bond seemed older from the start.  Even though the series was given a pseudo reboot with him earning his double O status in Casino Royale, Craig was cranky as Bond in the first scene.  Now, Connery had gruff early on as did Moore, but there were plenty of lighter moments peppered throughout the films.  And that’s not to say that Craig hasn’t had fun moments in the three films. He has.  The continual breaking into M’s home shows he’s still impish, but his initial exchange with Q shows his disdain for those “Damn kids and their video games”.

This being Judi Dench’s final go at M gives her all the time in the world to chew up scenery and leave her mark on the role and she delivers in spades.    The film is more of a character study at the fallibility of people and their attempts to put things right.  Redemption for betrayal as it were.   The redemption of a son who couldn't save his parents from their death by saving a surrogate from a madman.  The redemption of a "mother" who put her "sons" in harm's way.  The redemption of a woman who had some trouble in the field and is now the closest thing Bond has to a real relationship with a woman.

I give Skyfall 3 out of 4 stars.

Blinging Bond: Part Four of the Skyfall Review

Now, pay attention everyone.

We’ve got Bonds, Baddies, and Babes covered….  It’s time to take a look at the Bling of Bond in our Skyfall review.

From word No, Bond has been outfitted with some of the coolest cars and gadgets this side of a Brookstone store.  There were exploding pens, jet packs, and a Lotus that drove underwater, to name a few.   Bond has also sported the latest in Rolex Submariner’s though I doubt any of them actually told the time.  

Sometimes, they became a trope when it was pretty apparent that the ridiculous specificity of the object directly related to a life or death situation Bond was put in later on in the film.  Q must have had a machine that could see the future, much like another film that used random objects for specific tasks, Paycheck.

And how about Q?  Over the years, the Quartermaster has been played by roughly six actors, both EON and non-EON films, however, none was more well known that Desmond Llewelyn who played Q from 1963 until his death in 1999. 

While other actors may have portrayed the armourer with a more straight forward approach, Llewelyn played it with a certain amount of annoyance at Bond’s attention deficit disorder and lack of care in returning Q’s toys.   Just like, “Bond, James Bond” is a staple quote from 007 in nearly every film, Q is often quoted with “Now, pay attention 007” and “Do be careful with these”  though, he never does.

With The World is Not Enough, Q’s eventual successor, R, is introduced in John Cleese.  He then took over the role after Llewelyn’s death in 1999.  

Somewhat of a foreboding feeling seeing Q lowering himself into the ground soon after introducing his successor.

There was no new ground tread in the portrayal of Q by Cleese.  He returned to the format Llewelyn followed closely for over three decades.   Perhaps it was meant more as a tribute, rather than making the character his own.  You can see it in his delivery of the line, “As I learned from my predecessor, Bond, I never joke about my work.”  Though, you can see he was heading in a comedic direction in The World Is Not Enough.  Or, perhaps it was a directorial decision as the scene showcases a few Easter Eggs for the 40th anniversary of Bond.  You can see the show knife and jet pack prominently in the scene, above.

This was the last we would see of Q for 10 years.  It’s a shame that Cleese did not follow Bond into the Craig years.  However, in a way, it was probably for the best.  Apart from keeping M for continuity, having someone else from the old regime could have dragged the rebirth of Bond down into the mess that was Die Another Day. 

With Skyfall, we have the return of Q Branch.  Ben Wishaw, who looked more like Cillian Murphy in this film, plays Q more as a computer geek than gadget master.    He calls out Bond for being more of a blunt instrument than an efficient and highly specialized tool.   Making Q younger than Bond shows more about Craig’s seasoned and weary status as Bond than it does about Wishaw’s rookie turn as the armourer, but there is a recollection to the earlier years with Bond’s “You must be joking” line.  Though, the filmmakers don’t fall into the trap of retreading the line “I never joke about my work.”  You can see, though, that Q and Bond will be off on a good foot in this scene, no hidden knife required.

I do like a younger Q, though I’m not sure we really need a hipster Quartermaster.    The gadgets are simple and well placed with a radio tracker and Bond’s palm-print reader enabled Walther PPK.  However, the filmmakers make the same stupid mistake as nearly every other film in the history of films involving computer interfaces.  I call it the Weird Science effect.   

If you were born in the mid to late 90s and don't know this film, shame on you, for starters. Weird Science was a John Hughes film from 1985, where two geeks build a woman with their computer.   What follows is a highly stylized yet totally unrealistic portrayal of what a hacker would see in their attempts to break into various systems.  The same ridiculous type of computer hacking scenes also take place in Jurassic Park, Hackers, Sneakers, The Net, Independence Day, Disclosure, Swordfish, Wargames 2, Live Free or Die Hard, and now Skyfall. 

My biggest problem with the entire movie is that they go to great pains to show Q as a computer security geek, able to decipher anything, and not only do they show a totally stupid computer setup during Silva’s escape, they actually make Q a victim of his own hubris.  Why can’t Hollywood get computer hacking right? 

Qualms aside, it's nice to have Q back in the business of outfitting Bond with the latest in high tech office supplies.  Let's just hope there are no invisible cars in Craig's future.  I'd like him to be around for awhile.

Bedding Bond: Part Three of the Skyfall Review

I know. I know. It seems like I haven’t talked about this since last year and now Skyfall is like old news. Well, I got busy, my kid got sick, and the holidays came.

Back to this. I finally got my PS3 replaced, so now I can enjoy my new box set… and I will continue with my thoughts on Bond and Skyfall with this entry discussing the women of 007.

(SPOILERS AHEAD) Just in case.

The Bond Girl, or Woman, is as much of an ingredient as the other parts to the formula that makes Bond an enduring franchise. From Ursula Andress’ emergence from the water in Dr. No to... unfortunately, Halle Berry’s in Die Another Day, the Bond girl advances the storyline, gums up the works, and motivates Bond to do just about anything for a little bit of shagging at the end.

I wish I had more time to go through a list of all the Bond girls/women to delve deep into this integral part of the franchise. Perhaps, I’ll circle back after viewing some of the material from the Bond 50 discs.

For now, the thing you need to know is that there are two types of Bond girl… Actually, three.

The Match
This is the girl who Bond usually ends up with at the end. Sometimes, they have the cool, almost entendre worthy name like Plenty O’Toole or Pussy Galore. Sometimes, they are more subtle, but just as pun filled like Christmas Jones or Tiffany Case.

The formula usually works like this. They either work for the villain, either unknowingly or against their will (in the case of Vesper Lynd or Domino) or they are working against the villain from another agency like Jinx Johnson or Wai Lin.

In either scenario, they end up being rescued or escaping with Bond and usually end up having sex with him as M or other British dignitaries try to contact him with congratulations.

The Sacrificial Lamb
The second type of Bond Girl/Woman is the sacrificial lamb. Now, not every sacrificial lamb is a girl. In For Your Eyes Only it was Luigi Ferrara, Bond’s contact in Italy. In A View To A Kill, it was Tibbett, Bond’s chauffer who was an MI6 agent well versed in horse training. However, for the sake of the argument, the sacrificial lamb in this case is always a woman.

The formula for who becomes the S.L. is usually this: she’s the wife, girlfriend, or other woman in the villain’s employ. Probably the most iconic S.L. is Jill Masterson, whose death has become a cornerstone of the Bond mythos when she was killed by epidermal suffocation due to being covered entirely in gold paint after betraying Goldfinger as he was cheating at cards… and more importantly, sleeping with the enemy.

Some of the other S.L. Bond girls/women include:

• Aki – You Only Live Twice – Bond’s Japanese contact who inadvertently is killed in an assassination attempt on Bond with the ole poison dripping down the thread trick.
• Paris Carver – Tomorrow Never Dies - wife of Elliot Carver, who also had a previous relationship with Bond and was killed by Dr. Kaufman in an attempt to get rid of her and Bond.
• Tracy Bond – On Her Majesty’s Secret Service – Occupies both the The Match and Sacrificial Lamb role as the wife of Bond and daughter of SPECTRE connected Union Corse head, Marc Ange Draco. Gunned down by Irma Bunt at the end of the film.

Now, third Bond Girl/Woman slot is filled with the same character in every film she appears in. For her, there has always been an unrequited and unresolved sexual tension between her and Bond. There is plenty of flirting and innuendo that occurs between them, but she knows Bond is who he is and refuses to be listed among his conquests. Yet, she has a soft spot for Bond and he for her. That woman is, of course, Moneypenny.

So, how does this all relate into Skyfall? Skyfall turns the entire formula upside down while maintaining the essentials… and you’ll have to bear with me on this.

As the film starts out, Naomie Harris’ Eve fills the role of The Match Bond girl… we think. She nearly kills Bond… which is typical of the kind of bumbling that is associated with Bond Girls like Mary Goodnight in The Man With the Golden Gun or Jill St. John in Diamonds Are Forever. She also has an intimate moment with Bond during the “shaving scene”… we think. Turns out, by the end of the film, there is no way she could have slept with Bond, even though it may be implied and not shown. We know this, because at the end, she reveals her full name to be Eve Moneypenny. Now, you may say, “Oh, he definitely shagged her after the shaving scene.” To that I say…. “Then why not show it, even in its most demure fashion?”

The Sacrificial Lamb is easily identifiable as Sévérine, the accomplice of Silva who took part in the assassination in Shanghai, but later softened to Bond at the casino when he promised to kill Silva for her. Her fate was sealed with that betrayal, and was shot by Silva, firing squad style.

So, that leaves us with the Bond Girl in this picture.

What? You say there wasn’t one? Oh, really? There’s one more woman in this film, and I’m not talking about the girl Bond was shagging between bottles of booze and pills after his “death”.

After watching the film, I realized that the real Bond girl in this film was Judi Dench, M. The formula works. She was associated with the villain, though HE worked for her. She helped Bond take him down at the end, by posing as bait. She ended up in Bond’s arms, even though she died. While not objectifying or sexualizing her character as The Match, there is an undeniable romanticized relationship between them.

M filled more of a maternal role for Bond in the Daniel Craig films. That all ends with Tanner assuming the role in the next film(s), However, I will miss Judi Dench terribly in that role. She was fantastic in the last seven outings.

Bernard Lee was the template, serving for 17 years and three Bond actors. Robert Brown is probably the most recognizable by me since he was there during the Moore and Dalton years, my formal upbringing on Bond films, but Dench made the character more of an active participant than just the boss who barks orders, shakes their head at Bond’s tomfoolery, and then says, “007” at the end, when Bond is caught with his girl, post coital. In Skyfall, maybe Dench was meant to be given a larger role as M, due to it being her swan song. I don’t know if her eyesight was the reason for her “retirement” or if this was planned. As it is, Skyfall does not share source material with any Flemming or other Bond writer novel. In fact, the last film only shared the title with a story from the Bond canon, while the plot was completely unrelated.

So, there you have it, mind blown. M is/was the latest Bond Girl. I will try to finish up this week, while I have some momentum and move on to other things like Top Ten Eyeroll movies coming in 2013.

Breaking Bond: Part Two of the Skyfall Review

Continuing the review of Skyfall by discussing the evolution of Bond Baddies over the years. Spoilers ahead.

Bond villains are of a special breed. Most have some physical deformity, ranging from the slight to the ridiculous. Most are geniuses in their own right. All are certifiably wacko. Over the last 50 years the blueprint for a Bond villain has primarily stayed the same; crazy, smart, well funded, singled minded, and short sighted. However, the latest seems to have done a lot of homework on his predecessors and then built a better mouse.

It always made me laugh how inept the Bond villains were. First of all, you knew from the opening gun barrel that James Bond would always return. The villain would never win. Even in the case of Casino Royale, Bond catches up to Mr. White… who is immediately dispatched in the beginning of the next film. But, in every film, once Bond gets his orders, he usually encounters the big bad by the end of the first act.

He meets Bond, explains pleasantries and then immediately tries to kill him with an elaborate, yet easily escapable situation. There’s a reason Austin Powers called that out. It’s true. In fact, it’s not even like Bond disguises himself to the villain very well. Even with a fake name and back story, the villain knows it’s Bond. And yet, they do the dance of one-up-man-ship to prove who has the bigger Goldfinger… or is it Thunderballs?

Bond has faced many lethal and quite capable villains, yet none of them have ever done the simplest of tasks… kill Bond. In Skyfall, the closest he came to death was being shot by his own team. Most rely on their henchmen, physically over matched for 007, yet the Goliath to his David. Easily felled, usually by their own physical traits. Odd Job is killed by being electrocuted by his own hat, and Knick Knack gets trapped in a suitcase due to his size. Maybe that’s how he got to Fantasy Island. Mr. Rourke found him floating by in a suitcase.

But you can bet Scaramanga’s third nipple that the Bond villain is probably the best role any actor can land in terms of having fun on a Bond film. In fact, Bond films are probably the only place where the villain can be free to be as outlandish and scene gluttonous without fear of totally overshadowing the blunt instrument that is 007. I don’t think Roger Moore or Sean Connery felt like Michael Keaton did going up against Jack Nicholson’s grand larceny of scenes in Batman. Bond is never the comic relief, he’s the straight man anchoring the film while the villain is free to take a jet pack ride through the stratosphere of over the top performances in a Bond film. Skyfall’s Silva seems to borrow most of his crazy…and hair care tips from A View To a Kill’s Walken, while carving out his damaged psyche and motivation from the same cloth as Goldeneye’s Alec Trevelyan, and finally a referral from Jaws’ orthodontist. While Blofeld is probably Bond’s biggest nemesis, his kind of villain is probably never going to make an appearance in the 21st century world of Bond and QUANTUM.

With the Craig era of Bond villains, we get a more subdued and not quite so flamboyant performance and back story… That is until we reach Javier Bardem in Skyfall. Le Chiffre is hardly bombastic, with his plans. He hires a bomb maker to blow up the maiden flight of an airline in order to tank the stock… helping to fund terrorism. He intends to make up his losses to his war mongering clients by winning it all on cards. He’s sort of a down on his luck villain that cries blood. In Quantum of Solace, we have a somewhat green terrorist… get it, green? Well, at least he pretends to be trying to save the planet, but it’s all about money in the end. Dominic Greene isn’t even that much of a physical threat… sure, with a gun, he’s dangerous because he’s nuts, but he doesn’t even appear all that smart… just opportunistic. His death doesn’t even come at the hands of Bond, but played as a footnote, related to Bond by M. He was found with two slugs in the back of his head and a stomach full of motor oil. Now, why they bothered to do an autopsy with the apparent cause of death as lead poisoning and cranial ventilation, I don’t know.

When we get to Skyfall, the rules change, somewhat. As I said, Silva could be most closely compared to Alec Trevelyan in his back story; a field agent who ended up being a little more of a hacker than he should have been, traded for other agents, betrayed by M and MI6. He finds his place in the Pantheon of Bond Villains with the three basic traits: physical deformity – collapsed face and damaged vocal cords from a faulty cyanide pill, brilliant – cyber terrorist extraordinaire who outwits Ben Winshaw’s young and geeky Q, crazy as balls – bent on revenge against M and MI6. But where other Bond villains rely on sophisticated torture devices and henchmen to soften up Bond, Silva used a very simply tactic; sexual harassment. That scene was ridiculously uncomfortable yet ten times better than Le Chiffre “scratching” of Bond’s balls.

Ultimately, Silva suffers the same problem as most villains. He is too hell bent on his plan. He continues even when all is lost. While chaps like Blofeld try to escape in their subs, like in Diamonds Are Forever, Silva hunts M down like a dog, asking to end it all. Well, he got his wish… and I’ll say nothing more.

Coming up next… Bond Girl Interrupted.

Being Bond: Part One of the Skyfall Review

The character is so one dimensional that he could be nearly faceless. As it’s been said, he is just the guy pulling a trigger, a blunt instrument.  Ian Fleming himself sought to create a totally uninteresting character, devoid of personality where things just happened to him.  He even gave him, what he thought was a boring name, originating from an ornithologist. Yet, for all his base, the character has evolved with every film, in five decades.  He has never been boring or faceless on screen.  Here now, a look at the ongoing evolution of Bond, James Bond.  Be careful.  Spoilers ahead.

Sean Connery (Dr. No, From Russia With Love, Goldfinger, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice,  and Diamonds Are Forever.   Six films, not counting the Non-Eon Film: Never Say Never Again)
Connery was all gruff and misogynistic, a caveman of class, but it was enough to get the Bond girls out of their clothes. His physical style was more brute force, a blunt instrument like Fleming's description. He quipped and straightened a cuff link, but he was definitely not the most cerebral of the Bonds. He’d just assume slap a woman for being obstinate. In the 60s, the sexual revolution was still forming and for a while, Bond’s ways were tolerable, if not applauded.

George Lazenby (One film: On Her Majesty's Secret Service)
Lazenby didn’t have enough time to develop a character.  He won the part basically by punching out the stunt coordinator during the audition.  The producers wanted someone who put forth an air of sexual confidence and assurance, but his brief marriage and loss of his wife proved to be a more intriguing part of the Bond mythos.  After all, he showed up in a kilt and got married, something no Bond had probably ever done before or since.

Roger Moore (Live and Let Die, The Man With the Golden Gun, The Spy Who Loved Me, Moonraker, For Your Eyes Only, Octopussy,  and A View To a Kill.  Seven films total.)
Moore was more regal and suave, sexy through chivalry, in a way. His one dark turn, kicking a villain’s car off the side of a cliff, essentially killing him in cold blood was somewhat out of character but justified. Moore’s Bond would normally have played by the Queen’s rules, giving the villain a sporting chance.

Timothy Dalton (The Living Daylights and License To Kill. Two films.)
Dalton was somewhat human and softened in a way. Some will argue his Bond was more violent and action driven. They’ll say his Bond was darker than previous and that could be true, but it comes from a sense of character. His psyche was conflicted and it humanized him a bit. He was the more evolved and sensitive kind of Bond, in a way. He was probably the most realistic Bond to date. His bro-mance with Felix Leiter in License to Kill was apparent of this.

Pierce Brosnan (Goldeneye, Tomorrow Never Dies, The World Is Not Enough, Die Another Day. Four films total.) 
Brosnan was called a dinosaur in his first outing by a, now, female M. He was a relic of the Cold War which had ended since Dalton wore the tux. This was a more PC world in the 90s and was no more evident in the dynamic between Judi Dench’s M and Brosnan’s Bond discussing his masculinity and perhaps even safe sex in this time of love and AIDS. Brosnan’s physical presence was a combination of past Bonds. He was capable of the physical demands of the character, but gave the role a more debonair, analytical approach. He could kill you with a gun or fight you to the death, but he’d just assume beat you tactically with his brain. Usually, his good fortune was sprung from luck, the right gadget, or timing. He was cool, calm, and collective. Looking back on the first film, it still holds up well in terms of believability, however, as the the films went on, it became increasingly silly that he could outlive any scenario he was a part of, including the silly Die Another Day paragliding on a wave.  But beyond all that, he also looked to have the most fun playing Bond. I viewed Brosnan’s Bond as a kid getting to play the greatest character ever. It was Christmas for him.

Daniel Craig (Casino Royale, Quantum of Solace, and Skyfall.  Three films so far. Reported that he signed on for two more.)
I admit it. When Brosnan left and Craig was named, I was skeptical. He’s blond, blue-eyed, and only 5’ 10”. The shortest Bond was Timothy Dalton at 6’0”. The Bonds have gotten successively shorter throughout the series. I wasn’t a fan of Dalton, even though I watched the films. I grew up on Roger Moore and only saw Connery in Never Say Never Again or repeats of the earlier films during the holiday showings of the 13 Days of Bond on TBS. So, I went into Casino Royale… part reboot, part adaptation, part sequel, with a lot of concerns.

Then the song came out. Grunge doing Bond? Soundgarden’s front man doing a Bond song? WTF?!?! We had Shirley Manson and that was near awful but appropriate voice and styling for a theme song. However, this? How could EON recast this Bond and hire this singer? This will be awful, I thought. Then, I listened to the song and watched the trailer. I was more psyched than ever. Then, I saw Casino Royale in the theater. I was blown away. Not only had CR erased the stain of Die Another Day, it gave the franchise a much needed shot in the arm… or jolt to the heart, as it were.

Then, Quantum of Solace got mired in the bureaucracy of a writers’ strike, as if SPECTRE held the world ransom, demanding payment or else the world would never see another Bond film. Even though it was a financial success, most agree it is the worst of the three Craig films and probably in the bottom five of all Bond films, alongside Die Another Day and Diamonds are Forever.

What we do get with each successive Craig outing is a very different, more updated Bond. Craig’s Bond is one that is overall more physical. We’ve come to the point in film technology where special effects and CGI can cover a lot more than it did when Connery would drive a car with a movie screen in the background showing a rear view scene. Sure there is plenty of double work, but Dalton, Brosnan, and Craig did do a lot of their own stunt work. I would venture to say, however, that Craig’s Bond is clearly in the best shape. He runs in nearly every film. Hell, he almost does friggin’ Parkour in Casino Royale’s chase through Madagascar. As far as Bonds go, he also gets the most bloody. His face takes most of the damage, it seems. A piece of trivia: Skyfall is only the second time Bond has sustained a gunshot wound since Thunderball.

Craig’s Bond is also the most damaged of them all. He is a Bond that, even though is new to being a 00 agent, seems to exhibit some form of PTSD. I’m not sure if it was already there or if the death of Vesper and the torture scene leads to it. He basically loses the taste for death, even though he is a harbinger of it in the form of dead female bodies along the way. While QoS was more about bringing down the SPECTRE and SMERSH like group called Quantum, but it’s more about Vesper. It’s vengeance. It’s retribution disguised as job task.
By Skyfall, he clearly lives for death, perhaps even his own, as is seen in the opening scene. Whether his wounds lead to his dependence on painkillers and alcohol, or his feelings of betrayal from M and MI6, Craig’s Bond looks more like a soldier, unable to reintegrate into society after combat.

When Bond does return, he is pretty messed up. He’s dependent on booze and pills, his skills are off and he’s still damaged. But he’s the best there is. He gets cleared for duty by M, who is the cause of all this mess. So, Bond it is.

Now, he has to save the one person who hung him out to dry, M. M is the one woman in his life, that is consistently around, since there’s no Moneypenny…. *cough* yet. M is the closest thing he has to a stable anchor in this world. The closest thing he has to a mother. That’s the new twist on Craig’s Bond, his childhood. We learn he was orphaned at a young age, recruited by MI6 due to his parental status. It’s not supposed that Dench’s M is the only M, since Ralph Fiennes takes over and we hear in Dench’s first turn mentions of previous Ms. However, this M’s portrayal is different than Dench’s M in the Brosnan era. Dench and Brosnan played it as an unwilling, yet necessary partnership between a successful and high ranking female in the 90s and a male subordinate, who is an HR nightmare, yet continues to be the best performer in the office. With Craig, the relationship transcends one of necessity and appears to be a grooming or a nurturing… I could envision Bond hanging out in M’s office during the day while all the other employees toil away at their desks, jealous of the preferential treatment. Yet, he still infuriates her. It’s almost become comical how he breaks into her home.

There is a devil behind blue eyes in Craig’s Bond. He is nothing, if not serious, but the comedy from Craig’s delivery comes from a more acerbic and sarcastic place. It’s very rooted in the humor landscape of the last 10 years. Connery’s humor was very simple, he was the straight man reacting to the funny things around him. There was a playfulness to it, but he wasn’t over the top in making quips. Most of the time he was reacting to Q’s idiosyncrasies or the names of his Bond girls. Moore was more of a English gentleman. There is double entendre or tongue in cheek humor to Moore’s humor. His facial expressions tell the joke, almost breaking fourth wall convention. Was Dalton funny? I kid. I really don’t pay a lot of tribute to Dalton who was probably the closest to Flemming’s description of James Bond. Brosnan was very jovial in his humor, very puckish. Craig is more devious and delinquent. Rascally in his mischief.

There you have it, my takes on each of the Bonds.  Coming up next time, a look at the evolution of the villain. 

WUMF: November 2012 Edition

OK… so, I really slacked this past week.. but there’s been reasons. No… it wasn’t just because I was too busy playing Tekkit. I didn’t plan to be so slacky…

No, I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

Yeah, OK… it was Tekkit.

And a few other things. With that… here’s the WUMF.

Skyfall Review
I was supposed to be doing a review of Skyfall, and in essence, Bond… Well, the end of the month came around and I didn’t want to cut into that thought process mid ramble. So, that’s coming next month, I did preface it last post, but purposely didn’t really start.

If you’re really hard up for some good Bond talk, check out haphazardstuff.com. The commentary is a little dry… kind of like Tom Bodett giving movie reviews on NPR, but his videos are pretty well done and somewhat hilarious. Put it this way… the guy did not like Brosnan as Bond, and he uses a lot of clips from The Matador to describe Brosnan’s post Bond mindset.  Priceless.  Plus... Cannonball Run redone with all James Bonds.

Game of Thrones Giveaway: The Westeros League
Well, I pulled it off at the 11th hour. After Season 2 of GoT ended, I started thinking about doing some designs. I had already put out a couple of ideas, but had never seen the show. Then, a friend lent me season one and I gobbled it up. Then, another friend fed me all of Season 2 from his thumb drive… Shhhh, don’t tell…. And I was loving it…. And then scared of a vagina wraith coming to get me. Seriously…. WTF?!?!

So, because of that, I started planning out a set of designs called The Westeros League. 14 teams based on the various houses in the show. Tried to model them after professional… and a couple of minor league sports teams here in the U.S. After I was done, I put posts on each design ranging from the inane ramblings of a Sports Center type commentary to finally abandoning the insanity and settling on just talking about the designs themselves.

Finally, I put together a prize pack of 14 stickers, a shirt, a stein, a $20 gift card, and Season 1 on Blu Ray and hosted a giveaway. The turnout was small, compared to some others I’ve done, but I expected this with a more concentrated theme. In the past, I’ve done holidays or seasons and that usually opens up the base of entries to a more broadened spectrum of people. With a dedicated Game of Thrones theme, it focused more on those who were fans of the show and a few others. Still, happy with the results.

'Tis the Season
Thanksgiving snuck up on me and I was not prepared for the amount of time I’d be putting into getting shit done around the house and work. The giveaway run this past week and I’ve been working on that. I had to get out and do the shopping stuff with my kid and my wife, for all our food. I was trying to catch up on stuff to keep my DVR from exploding…. And well, um TEKKIT

My Pool
If you’ve been reading the blog for awhile, you know how much fun (sarcasm) I’ve had with my pool. I inherited it from my brother after he got a new one. It was an INTEX 16 foot round jobs that you assemble in fifteen minutes. Well, after three years of either being too lazy or ill prepared to close it down in the Fall, I decided I was going to it right. We cleaned out all the leaves, treated it with all the chemicals, and actually put the damn cover on the thing.

Then Hurricane Sandy said, “LOL Pitiful Hooman”. The cover came off with all the leaves and branches going into the pool. After it was all over, I attempted to clean it all back out and recover the pool. As I spouted every four letter word in the book, I noticed daylight peeking from the opposite side of the pool. Above the inlet hole, there appeared to be a foot long wide tear. I rage quit the job and tossed the skimmer. Someone asked if I could get a new liner… well, the whole damn pool is pretty much a liner. Now, I could probably try to patch it. However, I’ve spent too much time and money getting it up and running each year. I’m tired of just maintaining and pissing money away on it, so it’s either time to buy a real, more permanent pool… or just get another Intex. Thoughts? Remember, I am a cheap bastard and don’t plan on retiring in my current residence.

Winter Beer Exchange
I've done this a few times over the past year and plan on doing it again.  I have about 8 different beers to review for all you craft beer lovers.  I will probably keep notes on each, as I try them.  Since I won't be sharing with my Father-in-law.... he's on Coumadin and can't really touch this stuff right now... I can just drink the eight types in about four days and get a review out rather quickly.   Sorry, I'm not a big drinker, so two a night is plenty for me.

Here's what's on tap...er.. in bottles:

• Heavy Seas Winter Storm Category 5 Ale.
• Bell's Winter White Ale
• Bell's Christmas Ale
• Thirsty Dog 12 Dogs of Christmas
• Southern Tier Old Man Winter Ale
• Weyerbacher Winter Ale
• Anchor Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
• Great Divide Hibernation Ale 

D-Bag of the Year Awards 2012
Most of December will probably be devoted to the annual D-Bag awards. Unfortunately, it requires a lot of research on my part. I need to go back and look at all the stories throughout the year. Of course, the usual suspects will be nominated: Death, Mother Nature, Chris Brown…

I am actually thinking of just streamlining the process more to whittle down the effort of having to rehash all the nominees. Guess I’ll burn that bridge when I come to it.

That’s it, folks. Bring on December! Mayans, be damned!

Review of Skyfall, But First... Monologuing

I am a traditionalist. I like my adaptations played as close to the source material as possible. I like my sequels to be in the same vein as the originals or close to them. I don’t like reboots and I don’t like reinventing the wheel.

That being said, when you’ve been putting out movies in a franchise for fifty years, sometimes the old ways are the best ways. And… sometimes the material is better served being looked at from a different perspective while still maintaining that commonality of the franchise… Can anyone say “Crystal Skulls”?

Skyfall represents the latest in a series of films which franchise predates the death of JFK. And, frankly, Bond never looked better. But along the way, we need to look at the evolution of how we got from Connery to Craig and Dr. No to Skyfall.

I started to do just one post but as I ranted on for nearly three pages, I thought, “Might as well break this up into sections…” Call me Peter Jackson, bitch!

So, I’ll start off giving my thoughts on the Bond character as portrayed by the various actors. Next, I’ll go into the movie evolution. Lastly, Skyfall. If you don’t want to be spoiled, don’t read any further.

Bond at 50

Coming over the next week, I'll be putting up some rather lengthy entries on my thoughts on the different Bonds as well as the newest movie itself.  It'll be a return to the old days of my three page long rants, oh joy, right?  I will also go back and redo my Bond theme list to include the latest song, by Adele.

So, to get in the mood, I self bought... for Christmas... thanks hon... ;)  the Blu-Ray collection of Bond 50.  The thing is, a friend bought it a few weeks ago for $150.  I saw it on Wednesday for $129, so I snapped it up.   Come Thursday, it was up to $200 and by later on Friday, it was $205.   Now... it's $99.   Unreal.  I'm kicking myself, yet not quite upset enough to pull the trigger and get a couple to sell on eBay.  I suggest picking up a copy for yourself or your loved ones, this Christmas... before the price goes back up.  It has 22 out of the 23 EON Bond films along with tons of extras.

Bond 50 from Amazon.  Today, 11/24/12 for $99.99.

Qualifies for free shipping.

UPDATE:  Apparently, that $99 price was short lived.  It's now $249.  I would check on Monday.  It's bound to be somewhere close to $150-$200, again.

Dissecting Skyfall Trailer and Song

OK. Let me tell you. I am psyched for Skyfall’s release in November. When the trailer first came out, my 12 year old self squealed as if it were 1987 all over again and Roger Moore… or at least his stunt double… was dangling from the Golden Gate Bridge.

As more trailers came out and the Olympics showed us that skit with Bond and The Queen (Oh, the CORGIS!) I began to ramp up my excitement. November is now only a month away. And now, the announcement of Adele doing the theme has cemented that feeling.

I don’t want to get all gushy over Adele, because I have one friend that rags on her voice being auto tuned… but then again he’s a conspiracy nut who looks at 9/11 as an inside job…. Let’s not go there. Still, I can appreciate the lack of joy over a Top 40 performer being pegged to do an iconic turn as the Bond Theme Singer du jour. However, when you look on the names and talents associated with the honor, Adele fits right in with names like Shirley Bassey, Tom Jones, Nancy Sinatra, Carly Simon, and even Tina Turner. Don’t get me wrong, I love Duran Duran, Paul McCartney, and Chris Cornell’s themes, but there is something about a set of female pipes that just lends a smoky, sultry quality to the themes.

So, what about the trailer? (Spoilers ahead)

Well, from what I can gather, and I’ve not done a lot of reading, Bond dies. If this is intended, like all Bond movies, to give him an edge in his investigation I don’t know. After listening to the song, this is probably going to be the opening gambit, with Adele’s song coming on screen as Bond seemingly sinks to his doom after falling off the train, shot by Naomie Harris. The opening lyrics talk about holding your breath. Probably a good bet that this is how the movie opens. The second trailer goes more into detail about the opening scene, I think.

Now, I won’t make any judgments, yet. I won’t go and update my Best of Bond Themes until I’ve seen the film. I’m thinking that the new theme falls somewhere around 11. May need to reorganize that list. Until then, I will wait with baited breath until November 9th.

On another note, I want this. I usually hate buying collections because the newest movie isn’t even out yet. Though, this is the 50th anniversary. It might be a good idea. Of course, my only Blu-Ray player is my PS3. 

Best of Bond Themes

Here we are hurtling towards Christmas and that can only mean one thing. There should be a lot of Bond on television soon. In fact, COMCAST is running 21 Bond films on its OnDemand service, although you have to pay for some of them. Before this type of service we had to clear our schedules for some much needed Bonding. I remember in college, we only had 13 days of Bond, I think now the count is up to, something like, 15. I can distinctly remember sitting in my friend’s dorm room watching You Only Live Twice, while studying for finals. It was the first time I had ever seen the movie. It was the second time I had watched a movie with Connery as Bond. The first time was the not so canonical offering of Never Say Never Again. You know the one where Connery steps in as Bond in between Roger Moore takes and plays holographic video games with Klaus Brandauer, technically it's a remake of Thunderball, but it wasn't a production of EON, so it really doesn't count like Casino Royale does.

Now, it doesn't matter who you think is the best Bond, although a lot of kids born during the 70’s will most likely point towards Roger Moore as their favorite. After all, it’s not like we had much chance to see Connery in action and let’s face it, Dalton was arguably a good Bond in two bad movies. Personally, I think the order of Bonds puts Lazenby at the bottom, just because he wasn’t really Bond to me, followed by Dalton, Moore, Craig, who is closely coming to surpass Brosnan, and finally Connery at the top. I mean really, Connery was the original and still the best. So, while watching those 15 straight days of misogynistic, vodka soaked, scantily clad Bond girls get bedded by British’s Best, I am reminded of my earlier youth when I used to watch the movies on television and be intrigued by the opening sequences that dotted the edge of puberty of a child born before The Spy Who Loved Me.

Ah yes, the silhouetted naked women, the guns firing, the trampoline action all sent my hormones to the breaking point. Now that was cinema. With the 22nd film bowing at the box office with the most unrelated to the source material title, Quantum of Solace offers a second go around for Daniel Craig as Bond and another chance for a music artist to make their mark on opening sequence history. NPR recently ran a story on All Things Considered letting Total Music Geek‘s Drew Kerr rank the Bond Theme songs. While, I will agree with him that Madonna’s "Die Another Day" is perhaps the worst of the lot, I can’t help but disagree with most of his ranking of the other songs, although we both placed "The World Is Not Enough" and "Tomorrow Never Dies" at nearly the same spot. You can see his list by following the link right above to Total Music Geek. For Mongo's ranking, see further down.

First off let’s look at what makes a good Bond Theme. Marty Norman and John Barry laid the ground work for success. There has to be horns and lyrics that relate to the film itself. Now, while some theme songs don’t include the title of the film, that’s not as important as capturing the essence of Bond and the film itself in that opening three to four minutes. The format for authorship is (performer/writer/writer/etc.)

23: "Die Another Day" (Madonna) Die Another Day
No argument here. Either Madonna should have been allowed to do the theme or been in the movie, but not both. The techno house rhythm just kills it, not to mention the film was near crap and it paid tribute to every Bond film before it, so there's a missed opportunity for Brosnan to go out Onatopp.

22: "Another Way to Die" (Jack White and Alicia Keys) from Quantum of Solace (2008)
I will give them credit, they managed to work the Norman/Barry theme into a couple of notes, teasing you, before switching to another which is exactly what this song is, so close yet so far away. It’s another way to kill a Bond song. At least it cracked the Top 10 in European countries while it only peaked at 81 on the Billboard Hot 100. Not a good second outing for Craig's Bond when Chris Cornell turned in such a great song for Casino Royale.

21: "The Man With the Golden Gun" (Lulu/John Barry/Don Black) from The Man With the Golden Gun (1974)
This was definitely a stark change to the traditional Bond themes. More funk and rock than horns and strings. Though it is a true Bond song, meaning it deals with the title of the movie and villain, it is a mess of a tune and Barry himself hated it the most. I've never heard the Alice Cooper version, but I'm sure it's much better.
 


20: "The Living Daylights" (a-ha/Paul Waaktaar-Savoy/John Barry) from The Living Daylights (1987)
A new Bond on screen and another attempt to synthesize Barry's theme and still sound as good as "View To a Kill." A lot of in-fighting between Barry and a-ha makes for a general understanding of the songs feeling of being all over the place. It gets points for trying to stick to Bond territory but it totally misses the mark unless Bond becomes a pencil sketch character and dukes it out with wrench wielding racers.

19: "Moonraker" (Shirley Bassey/John Barry) from Moonraker (1979)
Even though the novel was written before the sci-fi blockbuster film genre became a staple at the box office, the producers waited until the success of such films as Star Wars and 2001 to launch Bond into space. It seems as if a lot of things were kept on hold until the last minute as Bassey was asked to sing the title song just weeks before release. Bassey, herself was not pleased with the final cut and didn't get the chance to promote it first. The song has a Star Wars feel to it, albeit the version sung by Nick the Lounge Singer from SNL. Spacey and really celestial, Barry orchestrates "Moonraker" with very little established Bond themes save for some string pieces. William Shatner would feel at home singing this alongside "Mr. Tambourine Man."

18: "License To Kill" (Gladys Knight/Michael Kamen) from License To Kill (1989)
It's a full blown R&B Bond theme here on the Quiet Storm (cue soft sound of thunder.) Gladys Knight is spot on in voice but, other than the title, there are very few ties to the original theme other than the horn riffs that reach back to Shirley Bassey's "Goldfinger", and they paid royalties to use it. In all fairness, I believe if you dropped Gladys' soulful singing and made the song a little more up tempo, it would be a different song, a better song. This version, however, belongs a K-Tel soulful sounds of the 80's collection album.

17: "The World Is Not Enough" (Garbage/David Arnold/Don Black) from The World Is Not Enough (1999)
"TWINE" is not exactly Garbage, but it's a recycled mishmash of "Tomorrow Never Dies." Shirley Manson must not have heard Sheryl Crow's vocals as she pretty much imitates them with the same drawn out syllables. The worst part about "TWINE" and "TND" is that the songs are great, it's the singing that drags them down from Everything to Nothing.


 
16: "Tomorrow Never Dies" (Sheryl Crow/Mitchell Froom) from Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Sheryl Crow's offering goes down the checklist of all the essential elements of a Bond theme and hits each one, brass, heavy strings, jazzed up drum riffs, retro electric guitar, lyrical references to Bond's props and nods to the original theme. What it lacks is general enthusiasm on the part of Crow. It's soulless, not sultry. It's a vodka soaked, late night rendezvous of shame in a back alley after last call.

15: "All Time High" (Rita Coolidge/John Barry/Tim Rice) from Octopussy (1983)
By now, Bond has been totally emasculated by lite rock and soft ballads. Saxophones and high strings have replaced electric guitar and brass instruments. While, I can't see composing a song with the title Octopussy, you'd at least think there would be some allusions or references to the plot or to Bond himself. Yet, there is none. Thankfully, 1985, would see a return to a more rocking, albeit 80's pop, theme song.

 
14: "For Your Eyes Only" (Sheena Easton/Bill Conti/Michael Leeson) from For Your Eyes Only (1981)
The move to neuter Bond with a progressively Lite Rock format at 007 FM hits its full stride. I must say, I actually like this song and it lends itself to the style of sexual imagery present during the Moore years. It has a dreamy and soporific feel that became part of Moore's appeal as Bond, not abrasive and manly like Connery, but smooth and sensitive. The opening also marked the first and only time the singer has appeared in the credit sequence.

13: "From Russia With Love" (Matt Monro/Lionel Bart) from From Russia With Love (1963)
The second Bond theme song seems more of a Sinatraesque Italian crooner song than the portrait of a Cold War Russian postcard. This is something I expect to hear in the background at The Olive Garden. However, I do get the image of a matryoshka doll, listening to the well placed strings. The Producers wouldn't hit their stride until number 3 when Barry would get full creative control.


12: "GoldenEye" (Tina Turner/Bono/The Edge) from GoldenEye (1995)
With every new Bond on screen there's a reason to revisit the template for a great Bond song. Tina Turner has that Bassey quality in her voice and the song manages to be current for its time and still capture the feel of Norman and Barry's themes with just a bit of Cold War Russia. Actually, for a Bond song, it stands on its own as a great song, which it did on Tuner's album Wildest Dreams. Bono and The Edge helped to produce one of the highest charting hits of Turner's career. 

11: "Skyfall" (Adele/Paul Epworth) from Skyfall (2012)

I don't like to praise Top 40 singers taking on the Bond Theme, but I have to give it to Adele for nailing this one.  She gave the franchise its first Golden Globe win out of six tries for Best Original Song, beating out Taylor Swift and Les Miserables.  That's pretty impressive.  So are Adele's pipes in this song.  It's not the normal fare we've come to expect from the Craig era.  Chris Cornell and the combo of Jack White and Alicia Keys ratcheted the rock in bringing the new Bond into the 21st century with their gritty ditties, but Adele returns to what served her Majesty best with the Shirley Bassey like smoke and soul.  The lyrics fit the plot well, once you've seen the film.  This song is more about a relationship of fate or destiny, not sex. 

10: "Diamonds Are Forever" (Shirler Bassey/John Barry) from Diamonds Are Forever (1971)
To think that Shirley Bassey was singing about diamonds as if they were a phallus is a humorous innuendo. The song is soft yet still powerful shifting to a funky beat midway through. Perhaps that is what happens to a "diamond" when it's held and caressed and undressed. "Oh James!"



9: "On Her Majesty's Secret Service" (John Barry/The John Barry Orchestra) from On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
A break from the norm ushered in Lazenby's one off as James Bond. The theme was the first since Dr. No to have no lyrics. It was also to feature a Moog synthesizer, used in its baseline. Without having actually seen the entire film, except for the tragic ending, I already had a sense for the landscape of the film. The theme evokes imagery of a Bavarian or Swiss backdrop and there is anger laced in the film with the short staccato blasts of the horns. Barry's work on the film is a worthy addition to the collection of Bond songs.

8: "You Only Live Twice" (Nancy Sinatra/John Barry/Leslie Briscusse) from You Only Live Twice (1967)
Connery's last turn as Bond in an official EON produced film has him storming volcano lairs and pretending to be Japanese with some clever makeup. The thin veil over the suspension of disbelief was enough to make me laugh out loud but Nancy Sinatra's title song made me a little warm and fuzzy. Her voice calls out to you like Bali Hai and the Asian influenced Xylophone riffs feel more in place than the more traditional Barry/Norman horn blasts. Describing the strings I could only help think of a later produced song called "Main Street" by Bob Seger. The last turn for Connery and soon the last turn for a strong and commanding theme song as we delve briefly into Lazenby territory and head into the lite rock realm of Moore.

7: "A View to a Kill" (Duran Duran/John Barry) from A View to a Kill (1985)
Duran Duran provides a guilty pleasure to those who missed the short brass jabs of the original theme, in no small part to John Barry's help. While, they're electronic and poppy, they're still there and Le Bon's voice hits some familiar highs but can't reach the stature of Bassey or Jones. This is the only Bond song to date to have reached number one on the Billboard Hot 100.

6: "You Know My Name" (Chris Cornell/David Arnold) from Casino Royale (2006)
Daniel Craig taking on the role of James Bond was a huge risk for the franchise. His take on 007 proved profitable, though. Younger, tougher, more akin to Connery in purpose while reckless and immature. The same can be said for Cornell's theme song. It hits you immediately like a freight train and barely lets up save for the bridge. Then it's back into the fray. Brass punches, electric guitar, and orchestral strings hit all the Barry thematic elements. Though, it's another song that isn't titled the same as the film, the lyrics play on all sorts of gambling and card game references as well as other themes like loyalty and dispassion which feature prominently throughout the film. It didn't get the credit it deserved despite being nominated for a Grammy Award.

5: "Live and Let Die" (Wings/Paul and Linda McCartney/George Martin) from Live and Let Die (1973)
Perhaps one of the most successful songs at the time for Wings and for the Bond series. It marked a real departure from the standard Norman/Barry format. It also marked Moore's first turn as Bond. Perhaps those ideas went hand in hand. There's really not much to do in terms of Bond styling as the lyrics are rather nonsensical yet the tune is really a great song and measures up to the rest of the Bond themes. The worst thing about this song is that Guns and Roses remade it 20 years later.

4: "Nobody Does It Better" (Carly Simon/Marvin Hamlisch/Carole Bayer Sager) from The Spy Who Loved Me (1977)
When Roger Moore took over for Connery, Bond went from misogynistic and manly to genial and gentlemanly. The switch in Bonds plays over into themes as the decade changes from the 60's to the 70's. Gone are the brassy themes of Norman's original theme and ushered in are the lite rock ballads which would dominate Moore's run as 007. This marks the first time a Bond theme was not titled the same as the movie. However, the lyrics include allusions to Bond and the title of the film, all which work well when you stack it up against the opening credit sequence full of silhouetted female forms and the sexual imagery and trampolines and gymnastics. Bond goes from irresistible caveman to suave quiche eating Casanova.

3: "Thunderball" (Tom Jones/John Barry/Don Black) from Thunderball (1965)
Building off of Goldfinger's intro, which utilizes Norman's original theme, Tom Jones oozes sensuality and sinistry with his booming voice. He almost becomes Bond himself. The elements are all there and that end note that Jones holds for nearly 10 seconds is amazing. Is it any wonder he fainted while belting it out. The man had some friggin' pipes on him!

2: "Goldfinger" (Shirley Bassey/John Barry/Leslie Bricusse/Anthony Newley) from Goldfinger (1964)
Wow. This is truly a classic to which all others are compared. There are parts where it sort of sounds like Tony Hatch's Downtown. However, it's quintessential 60's Bond in nature. The lyrics are a perfect meeting of Grim Reaper and King Midas with the subconscious imagery of an evil proctologist.

1: "James Bond Theme" (The John Barry Orchestra/Monty Norman) from Dr. No
Here's the blueprint. The original and still the best. The muted trumpets and punchy brass section, the electric guitar picking away, the jazzed up percussion section, and of course ending on that sustained note all spell 007. All great Bond themes build off of these elements.


If you would like to take a listen for yourself, head on over to James Bond Multimedia and check out each theme.