Why you'll never see me on Survivor?

It’s not that I am just a little hefty and like the creature comforts of home that I would never be picked for the show. OK, well, that’s partially a reason. I’d be out before Jeff Probst said, “Welcome to Survivor…” In any case, the reason why you’ll never see me on Survivor is that I’m not already famous or rich.

Now, I thought the whole reason for being on Survivor was to Outplay, Outwit, and Outlast the other contestants to win a million dollars. So, why would someone put themselves through all that bug eating, loin cloth wearing, and Probst dimpling crap to win less than they already are worth? Fame? Revived career? Masochistic tendencies?

Here in my own cubic-hell we have an office pool going. $10 for two contestants. That gives us a pot of $80. I have Taj and J.T. Until today I had no idea who these people were. I’ve never even seen the show. I watched one season of Survivor and that was the Australian version 8 years and 16 seasons ago. Go figure that one out. Anyway, Since I don’t pay attention, but like participating in a little competitive office pool, I had no idea if either of my survivors were even still on the show. So, I checked out my trusted source, Wikipedia. Apparently, both are still in it…not for a lack of head scratching with their tables displaying voting patterns, elimination records, and what not. Stranger yet, Taj had her name hyperlinked. I clicked on it and was surprised to find what most of America already knew, she’s famous outside of the show. She’s not only a former member of the musical group SWV, but married to Eddie George. Granted she’s not the first contestant with ties to the NFL. Gary Hogeboom was a contestant in Guatemala and hoped nobody would recognize him from his days as Roger Staubach’s backup.

So, this all begs the question. Why would the wife of a multimillion dollar NFL player compete for a paltry one million before taxes? Ok, how about this. Candace Smith, who got voted out early was a pageant winner, Barker Beauty, and actress, appearing on Entourage, Joey, and a small role in Beerfest where she has sex with a guy who is so drunk he sees her instead of the real woman he picks up from the bar until the next morning. While, Smith may not have the same bank account as Taj, she can’t be doing that bad. After all, she passed the Bar exam before deciding to become an actress. My parents would have killed me. At least, I never took the bar.

A friend and follower of the blog made the comment that this isn’t the first time an actress has been on Reality TV. The Amazing Race just had an actor as a contestant recently, and who can forget Jerri Matheny from Survivor Outback? Their comment was perhaps this is a trend. After chuckling a lot at that, I thought, maybe it’s a symptom. Perhaps wannabe actors are forgoing the traditional route of living out of their car and waiting tables with their head shot and resume tucked into their guest check folder. Maybe they are migrating to Reality Television since scripted shows seem to be on the decline. Although, cable is where it’s at lately. My hope is that this horrible experiment in cheap, repeatable television is almost over. Let’s hope that this was all a symptom of the former administration which made most of America feel less intelligent. Maybe the new sheriff can instill some intellectual pride among us and push us to require better standards from our idiot box. Of course, some will say that his version of Reality Television will have the winners giving some of their winnings to everyone else. To each his own. Me, I'd rather wait until I hit it big, then I'll go audition for a reality show when my 15 minutes are almost up. That's how I aim to survive.