Yes, I spelled 'Brouhaha' wrong on purpose.
I had planned out a lengthy, count 20 paragraphs, post about this story. Instead, I'm listing a few links because each one has it differences. You be the judge on who is right and who is wrong.
Coonelly 'scolded' Bar Owner: Warning... Bob Smizek alert.
'Pirates Lose' Beer Special Brings Bar Heat From Team: WTAE
Bar Discounted Beer Every Time The Pirates Lost; Team Bullies Them Into Ending Promotion: Deadspin
In essence, a local bar offered a discount of five cents off a pitcher of beer every time the Pirates lose a game. It's a consolation prize for fans who patronize the bar. It was taken as a jab at the ball club and someone within the Pirates' front office asked for a boycott of the bar using Pirates' letterhead in her communication. That caused the owner to contact the news media, which in turn caused Frank Coonelly to contact the owner, which caused everyone to jump all over this because the Pirates' Front Office is evil. Right?
My take on all this...
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?+infinity.
The Pirates suck. They have sucked for 18 years. They continue to suck. News media in Pittsburgh makes fun of them. Locals make fun of them. Other teams make fun of them. Yet, this little bar in Kennedy Township is the straw that broke the camel's back?
When I was 16, I did a stupid thing. To which everyone says, "Only one?" That week, yes. Anyway, I went with some friends and participated in egging a house on Halloween. What I didn't know was that everyone egged this house. It was listed in Zagat's guide to egging and corning houses. I swear.... (No, I don't, really.) Yet, apparently, my friends and I were that proverbial straw, because the homeowner chased us down and got my friend's plate number. The next day, cops called my house and I was fined $93. I also got grounded for the first and only time in my life where it lasted more than five minutes. I also had to miss a Def Leppard concert, which I paid for with my paper route money. Lesson learned.
The point is that the Pirates have been the egged house for so long that someone felt compelled to fight back against a semi-satirical jab at their losing streak. Now, it's a major news story. It didn't need to be.
Was the Pirates' employee wrong? Yes.
Was the promotion a bad idea? No.
Was Frank Coonelly rude and an 'arrogant ass' as the bar owner said in a WDVE interview? Maybe.
Frank has a track record and looks guilty, no matter what he says to the contrary about the incident. What he needs to do is take ownership of the situation that was created by his staff and promote the fact that it was a mistake and steps are being taken to readdress company policy about such matters. He should also make amends with the bar owner and she should make amends with him. Then he should go out and start winning some ball games or my friends and I will be looking for his house in the latest edition of "Places to TP in Pittsburgh".
Besides, what right do the Pirates have in even calling out this business? It's a free country. The only real loser is the bar, which would have ended up serving free beer by the All Star break.
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Showing posts with label sucktitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sucktitude. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Gameboy By LG Thanks To Verizon Wireless
I never wanted a cell phone. Hell, I never wanted a credit card, either. Unfortunately, I had to have both.
The credit card came first so that I could eventually buy my house. No, I didn’t put my mortgage on the card, silly. I had to build up a credit existence, from what I was told, so that the state could put me under a microscope for a home loan.
The cell phone came a year later. My wife was worried that I’d end up in a ditch somewhere and need help. In my mind, if I had ended up in a ditch somewhere, having a phone wouldn’t help, unless that phone could call someone while I’m lying there, unconscious.
But, I caved and got a phone. It was a simple LG flip model that basically called people and had a camera. I spent more time taking photos than actually calling someone. That seems to be the case nowadays. Everyone buys a phone, not for the actual phone part, but for everything else. There’s texting and video and apps and music and games. I found it funny when Apple would release the new iPhones that could do all these whiz bang things, except actually make a call.
I admit I am a bit of a gadget geek and love tech stuff but sometimes making a product into something else actually negates the intended purpose. I’ve shied away from getting the latest iGear or whatever else is out there in favor of actually functional pieces of technology. I buy a camera or I buy a phone to do what the device is intended for, not because of all the extras. Besides, that costs more money and I am a self proclaimed cheap ass.
Still, when I got my last phone, an LG ENV2, I drank the Kool Aid a bit and took on a trial of VZ Navigator, which was nice. That was the one thing that was worth having on a phone. Having to buy pay hundreds of dollars for a GPS device was silly when you could pay $10 a month for the ability to do the same thing on your phone. I mean, you were going to have your phone in the car anyways, in case of a ditch scenario, right? So, I exhausted the trial month and said, “Eff, it! Ten bucks a month is too much for me to know where the hell I am going at all times. Let’s put St. Christopher in the driver’s seat.
The other indulgence I gave into was downloading games. Now, I was under the impression that my month long trial of VZ Navigator and web browsing included downloads. I didn’t realize I was purchasing a game that would be downloaded to my phone. In that month I downloaded Tetris and Monopoly. For the two years I owned that phone I played Tetris every day. When I’d sit in appointments I’d play. When I was stuck at the airport, waiting to board, I’d play. Loved that game. It was an addiction, back in college, when we had it for the NES. In fact, if I would have had Tecmo Super Bowl on my phone, I’d never get any work done.
But phones, like other technology, become obsolete and degrade over time. New plans, new two year contracts, and the chance to get a new phone, for free mind you, become options laid out before you.
Now, I was never a huge fan of the ENV2. The case became worn and the rubber case that I put on it made it difficult to type in the numbers because the edges of buttons were no longer raised. For someone, like me, with flippers and banana hands, I’d constantly miss dial a number or a password to my voicemail. Also, I would constantly butt dial people. There was a way to lock it but you had to go three screens deep into the phone menu to do it. Having the buttons on the inside was a plus, in my book. My pocket would constantly vibrate from me leaning on buttons, making noise. From then on, I kept my phone on vibrate and developed a case of vibration nervosa. That’s where you constantly check your phone because you think you felt it ring.
So, when it came time to change phones I chose the Cosmos. Why? It was free. Yeah, it had buttons on the outside and even though it had a complicated lock system, did I mention it was free?
Here’s the sucktitude that is my phone plan. I attempted to move everything from one phone to the other. Contacts, check. Messages, check. Pictures, check. Games….ch…um, nope! Turns out I would have to repurchase and download those games again. Granted, $10 is nothing huge in the scheme of things, but it’s the principle. Every two years or so, I would have to spend $20 to play games on my phone. I contacted Verizon Wireless customer service and they said, “Sorry, thems the brakes.” So, I say, The ENV2, yesterday’s phone, today’s Game Boy. I guess if I know ahead of time I’m going to be sitting around waiting for something like an oil change or a dentist appointment I’ll bring my ENV2 along to play games and use my Cosmos… to call people.
The credit card came first so that I could eventually buy my house. No, I didn’t put my mortgage on the card, silly. I had to build up a credit existence, from what I was told, so that the state could put me under a microscope for a home loan.
The cell phone came a year later. My wife was worried that I’d end up in a ditch somewhere and need help. In my mind, if I had ended up in a ditch somewhere, having a phone wouldn’t help, unless that phone could call someone while I’m lying there, unconscious.
But, I caved and got a phone. It was a simple LG flip model that basically called people and had a camera. I spent more time taking photos than actually calling someone. That seems to be the case nowadays. Everyone buys a phone, not for the actual phone part, but for everything else. There’s texting and video and apps and music and games. I found it funny when Apple would release the new iPhones that could do all these whiz bang things, except actually make a call.
I admit I am a bit of a gadget geek and love tech stuff but sometimes making a product into something else actually negates the intended purpose. I’ve shied away from getting the latest iGear or whatever else is out there in favor of actually functional pieces of technology. I buy a camera or I buy a phone to do what the device is intended for, not because of all the extras. Besides, that costs more money and I am a self proclaimed cheap ass.
Still, when I got my last phone, an LG ENV2, I drank the Kool Aid a bit and took on a trial of VZ Navigator, which was nice. That was the one thing that was worth having on a phone. Having to buy pay hundreds of dollars for a GPS device was silly when you could pay $10 a month for the ability to do the same thing on your phone. I mean, you were going to have your phone in the car anyways, in case of a ditch scenario, right? So, I exhausted the trial month and said, “Eff, it! Ten bucks a month is too much for me to know where the hell I am going at all times. Let’s put St. Christopher in the driver’s seat.
The other indulgence I gave into was downloading games. Now, I was under the impression that my month long trial of VZ Navigator and web browsing included downloads. I didn’t realize I was purchasing a game that would be downloaded to my phone. In that month I downloaded Tetris and Monopoly. For the two years I owned that phone I played Tetris every day. When I’d sit in appointments I’d play. When I was stuck at the airport, waiting to board, I’d play. Loved that game. It was an addiction, back in college, when we had it for the NES. In fact, if I would have had Tecmo Super Bowl on my phone, I’d never get any work done.
But phones, like other technology, become obsolete and degrade over time. New plans, new two year contracts, and the chance to get a new phone, for free mind you, become options laid out before you.
Now, I was never a huge fan of the ENV2. The case became worn and the rubber case that I put on it made it difficult to type in the numbers because the edges of buttons were no longer raised. For someone, like me, with flippers and banana hands, I’d constantly miss dial a number or a password to my voicemail. Also, I would constantly butt dial people. There was a way to lock it but you had to go three screens deep into the phone menu to do it. Having the buttons on the inside was a plus, in my book. My pocket would constantly vibrate from me leaning on buttons, making noise. From then on, I kept my phone on vibrate and developed a case of vibration nervosa. That’s where you constantly check your phone because you think you felt it ring.
So, when it came time to change phones I chose the Cosmos. Why? It was free. Yeah, it had buttons on the outside and even though it had a complicated lock system, did I mention it was free?
Here’s the sucktitude that is my phone plan. I attempted to move everything from one phone to the other. Contacts, check. Messages, check. Pictures, check. Games….ch…um, nope! Turns out I would have to repurchase and download those games again. Granted, $10 is nothing huge in the scheme of things, but it’s the principle. Every two years or so, I would have to spend $20 to play games on my phone. I contacted Verizon Wireless customer service and they said, “Sorry, thems the brakes.” So, I say, The ENV2, yesterday’s phone, today’s Game Boy. I guess if I know ahead of time I’m going to be sitting around waiting for something like an oil change or a dentist appointment I’ll bring my ENV2 along to play games and use my Cosmos… to call people.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
For The Love Of All That Is Sacred In This World, Stop Hollywood, Now
For those of you tuning in, expecting to see the first round of the 2010 D-Bag Awards, I apologize. It’s just that news has come up that has taken precedence. It’s not even new news. Well, it’s new to me. I’ll explain.
Just as we were all sitting down to give thanks and enjoy some turkey, the news came out that Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, the film, found its leading man to tackle the role of Nathan Drake. Now, for those of you who have not followed my blog in recent months or have been under a gaming rock for the last three years, there are a couple of PS3 games called, Uncharted. Both the first and second game are beyond phenomenal. I’m not talking in terms of what Grand Theft Auto 3 did for gaming. Uncharted took your standard run and gun, swing and jump style of game and blew the back out of the console.
Let me gush, for just a paragraph. Uncharted is not just a typical game. The graphics are amazing, the mechanics are spectacular and the acting is top notch. There are moments in Uncharted 2 where the line between actual game play and cut scene is so blurred that you would need a microscope to see the transition. You are just walking along a wall and all of the sudden a tank bursts through the wall and nearly knocks you off a cliff and you continue to move after all this happens as if you never lost control of your character. You climb up rickety ladders and boards give way. I mean the second game begins with you dangling over a Tibetan mountainside in a wrecked train. You have a bullet wound to the guy and are forced to climb to safety while the train slowly sinks over the edge. Pieces give way, you fall off of different parts and land further down, only to begin climbing again. These are, of course scripted, but still seamless in their incorporation into actual game play. Quite simply, the storyline alone makes it a worthwhile series. Hell, it makes it a better movie. It makes the last Indiana Jones movie look Pitfall, the Atari game, in comparison.
That’s the extent of my gushing. Now, here comes the ranting. Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom and infinite stupidity has decided to make a movie of the first title in the series, Drake’s Fortune. The premise of the game is that the descendant of Sir Francis Drake is on the hunt for the City of Eldorado and its gold. Of course, there are bad guys, heroines/damsels, double crosses and climactic battles. It’s a perfect movie idea. And that’s exactly why it shouldn’t be made into a movie, because there has yet to be a great movie that has been adapted from a game. Although, I will give props to Mortal Kombat. It is what it is and perfect for the type of game it was. We won’t talk about Super Mario Bros, Double Dragon, or Street Fighter. We just won’t. Tomb Raider had all the right ideas but with the wrong delivery and Resident Evil is a good movie series that happens to share a few elements from a game. It is not a faithful adaptation. Silent Hill comes closer but still makes us want a little more of the game involved.
But, Hollywood, being Hollywood will stop at nothing in its quest to destroy all that is good for the sake of a few bucks and the possibility of a sequel. So, now that there is nothing stopping an Uncharted movie from being made, one can only hope that with the company behind the game, Naughty Dog, some justice will be done. That is usually when the world depants you and laughs maniacally.
My hope is that the movie would hinge on casting the right people in the film as their video game counterparts. Now the names Nolan North and Richard McGonagle may not be well known in the movie industry. So what? The names Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson were not known before a little film called Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone came along and it was an ADAPTATION!
Looking at the original cast, Nolan voiced and provided the physical model for Nathan Drake and Richard did so for Sully in the Uncharted series. If you were going to cast a movie based on a game that had this kind of voice acting alone, along with a great script, wouldn’t you, at least start looking at the people who originated the characters? OK, Hollywood doesn’t want to put the weight of a blockbuster on the shoulders of people who primarily do voice over work. That’s fine. But then, wouldn’t you start looking at the people that kind of look or act like them? Prime examples, Nathan Fillion as Drake and possibly J.K. Simmons as Sully. Not too hard to see either one of them in those roles. Hell, you could make a minor case, although it would be extremely type cast and creepy, to cast Jeffery Donovan as Drake and Bruce Campbell as Sully. The fact that they almost function in those types of roles on Burn Notice is almost calling the relationship a trope. Kind of like older, close to retirement cop and younger, loose cannon, slightly insane cop ala Lethal Weapon.
What happened next? Somehow, someone in Hollywood decided to first go out and get director David O. Russell to direct the film. Any hopes I had of even considering this movie salvageable went out the window with that decision. This is the guy that directed I Heart Huckabees and I’ll let you go and look up the rant against Lily Tomlin on YouTube on your own time. Put it this way, the guy is an ass hat. Yeah, he directed Three Kings but that doesn’t excuse his douchebaginess. See, I still found a way to include the theme of d-bags in this post. So, of course, seeing as how David O. Russell will destroy this film, it couldn’t possibly get any worse, right?
Wong. Way back at the tippy top of this post I mentioned Thanksgiving and that’s when this turkey hit the fan. They have announced that Mark Wahlberg will be playing Nathan Drake. I will wait for your brain to stop bleeding from that information. I will then repeat it because it only serves to strengthen you. Marky Mark is playing Nathan Drake. Head meet desk. Before you decided to call me a fanboy, crybaby, Simpson's Comic Book Guy, let me explain.
Exhibit A: The crapfest that was Max Payne.
Exhibit B: SNL’s Andy Samberg clearly has Mark Wahlberg’s acting style down pat and is clearly the best choice to play Mark Wahlberg in the Mark Wahlberg life story.
Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals from Max Payne Interview
Exhibit C: The Happening. Now, I will give as much blame to M. Night on that film but Mark Wahlberg’s acting made Andy Samberg’s impression of Wahlberg a better performance than the ridiculous suckfest that was his performance in The Happening.
Ok, so the video below is an exaggeration of the scene in question, but before they start tinkering with the speed, you can get the idea of what caliber of acting we're talking about here.
The Happening at 33 1/2, 45, and 78 RPM
I give up, Hollywood. This is exactly the kind of crap that caused me to start Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! and I just want to curl up into a ball and try to use enough bleach to scrub away the dirty that is my soul after hearing this news. This will ruin the series. And, after all, the new game, Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception is coming out next November and then two years later, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune will bow in theaters and be destined to the Walmart bargain bin before the first showing is even over. You win, Hollywood. I have nothing left. I have tried to defend you, but like a battered woman married to an alcoholic, I keep coming back, only to end up with another bruise, explained away as a household accident with inanimate objects. You’ve killed my soul and somehow I am to blame for it. Goodbye cruel world.
Oh wait, there’s more. There’s even talks to have Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci appear in the movie as Nate’s father and uncle. ZOMGWTFBBQ?!?! First off, that has to be some sort of joke. Second of all, those two characters aren’t even in the games... any of them!
In the words of Marky Mark, himself. "What? No!"
Shoot me now, and use very large bullets. I'll be back next time with a legitimate D-bag awards post.
Just as we were all sitting down to give thanks and enjoy some turkey, the news came out that Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune, the film, found its leading man to tackle the role of Nathan Drake. Now, for those of you who have not followed my blog in recent months or have been under a gaming rock for the last three years, there are a couple of PS3 games called, Uncharted. Both the first and second game are beyond phenomenal. I’m not talking in terms of what Grand Theft Auto 3 did for gaming. Uncharted took your standard run and gun, swing and jump style of game and blew the back out of the console.
Let me gush, for just a paragraph. Uncharted is not just a typical game. The graphics are amazing, the mechanics are spectacular and the acting is top notch. There are moments in Uncharted 2 where the line between actual game play and cut scene is so blurred that you would need a microscope to see the transition. You are just walking along a wall and all of the sudden a tank bursts through the wall and nearly knocks you off a cliff and you continue to move after all this happens as if you never lost control of your character. You climb up rickety ladders and boards give way. I mean the second game begins with you dangling over a Tibetan mountainside in a wrecked train. You have a bullet wound to the guy and are forced to climb to safety while the train slowly sinks over the edge. Pieces give way, you fall off of different parts and land further down, only to begin climbing again. These are, of course scripted, but still seamless in their incorporation into actual game play. Quite simply, the storyline alone makes it a worthwhile series. Hell, it makes it a better movie. It makes the last Indiana Jones movie look Pitfall, the Atari game, in comparison.
Uncharted: Drake's Fortune Trailer
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves Trailer
Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception Trailer
Coming 11-1-11
Coming 11-1-11
That’s the extent of my gushing. Now, here comes the ranting. Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom and infinite stupidity has decided to make a movie of the first title in the series, Drake’s Fortune. The premise of the game is that the descendant of Sir Francis Drake is on the hunt for the City of Eldorado and its gold. Of course, there are bad guys, heroines/damsels, double crosses and climactic battles. It’s a perfect movie idea. And that’s exactly why it shouldn’t be made into a movie, because there has yet to be a great movie that has been adapted from a game. Although, I will give props to Mortal Kombat. It is what it is and perfect for the type of game it was. We won’t talk about Super Mario Bros, Double Dragon, or Street Fighter. We just won’t. Tomb Raider had all the right ideas but with the wrong delivery and Resident Evil is a good movie series that happens to share a few elements from a game. It is not a faithful adaptation. Silent Hill comes closer but still makes us want a little more of the game involved.
But, Hollywood, being Hollywood will stop at nothing in its quest to destroy all that is good for the sake of a few bucks and the possibility of a sequel. So, now that there is nothing stopping an Uncharted movie from being made, one can only hope that with the company behind the game, Naughty Dog, some justice will be done. That is usually when the world depants you and laughs maniacally.
My hope is that the movie would hinge on casting the right people in the film as their video game counterparts. Now the names Nolan North and Richard McGonagle may not be well known in the movie industry. So what? The names Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson were not known before a little film called Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone came along and it was an ADAPTATION!
Looking at the original cast, Nolan voiced and provided the physical model for Nathan Drake and Richard did so for Sully in the Uncharted series. If you were going to cast a movie based on a game that had this kind of voice acting alone, along with a great script, wouldn’t you, at least start looking at the people who originated the characters? OK, Hollywood doesn’t want to put the weight of a blockbuster on the shoulders of people who primarily do voice over work. That’s fine. But then, wouldn’t you start looking at the people that kind of look or act like them? Prime examples, Nathan Fillion as Drake and possibly J.K. Simmons as Sully. Not too hard to see either one of them in those roles. Hell, you could make a minor case, although it would be extremely type cast and creepy, to cast Jeffery Donovan as Drake and Bruce Campbell as Sully. The fact that they almost function in those types of roles on Burn Notice is almost calling the relationship a trope. Kind of like older, close to retirement cop and younger, loose cannon, slightly insane cop ala Lethal Weapon.
What happened next? Somehow, someone in Hollywood decided to first go out and get director David O. Russell to direct the film. Any hopes I had of even considering this movie salvageable went out the window with that decision. This is the guy that directed I Heart Huckabees and I’ll let you go and look up the rant against Lily Tomlin on YouTube on your own time. Put it this way, the guy is an ass hat. Yeah, he directed Three Kings but that doesn’t excuse his douchebaginess. See, I still found a way to include the theme of d-bags in this post. So, of course, seeing as how David O. Russell will destroy this film, it couldn’t possibly get any worse, right?
Wong. Way back at the tippy top of this post I mentioned Thanksgiving and that’s when this turkey hit the fan. They have announced that Mark Wahlberg will be playing Nathan Drake. I will wait for your brain to stop bleeding from that information. I will then repeat it because it only serves to strengthen you. Marky Mark is playing Nathan Drake. Head meet desk. Before you decided to call me a fanboy, crybaby, Simpson's Comic Book Guy, let me explain.
Exhibit A: The crapfest that was Max Payne.
Exhibit B: SNL’s Andy Samberg clearly has Mark Wahlberg’s acting style down pat and is clearly the best choice to play Mark Wahlberg in the Mark Wahlberg life story.
Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals from Max Payne Interview
Exhibit C: The Happening. Now, I will give as much blame to M. Night on that film but Mark Wahlberg’s acting made Andy Samberg’s impression of Wahlberg a better performance than the ridiculous suckfest that was his performance in The Happening.
Ok, so the video below is an exaggeration of the scene in question, but before they start tinkering with the speed, you can get the idea of what caliber of acting we're talking about here.
The Happening at 33 1/2, 45, and 78 RPM
I give up, Hollywood. This is exactly the kind of crap that caused me to start Mongo Angry! Mongo Smash! and I just want to curl up into a ball and try to use enough bleach to scrub away the dirty that is my soul after hearing this news. This will ruin the series. And, after all, the new game, Uncharted 3: Drake’s Deception is coming out next November and then two years later, Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune will bow in theaters and be destined to the Walmart bargain bin before the first showing is even over. You win, Hollywood. I have nothing left. I have tried to defend you, but like a battered woman married to an alcoholic, I keep coming back, only to end up with another bruise, explained away as a household accident with inanimate objects. You’ve killed my soul and somehow I am to blame for it. Goodbye cruel world.
Oh wait, there’s more. There’s even talks to have Robert DeNiro and Joe Pesci appear in the movie as Nate’s father and uncle. ZOMGWTFBBQ?!?! First off, that has to be some sort of joke. Second of all, those two characters aren’t even in the games... any of them!
In the words of Marky Mark, himself. "What? No!"
Shoot me now, and use very large bullets. I'll be back next time with a legitimate D-bag awards post.
Monday, October 4, 2010
The Cursor Blinks In A Mocking Fashion
I’m staring at a blank screen. The little cursor blinks in a mocking fashion. I have such a mental block that it frustrates the hell out of me. I have so few precious moments to sit and spew forth all the pent up strangeness that inhabits my brain and to waste them by staring at a blinking cursor is ironic.
Does that ever happen to you? There are times when I have so many ideas in my head just waiting to burst forth, like Athena ready for battle, and I find myself inundated with other tasks that I cannot get the voices to be quiet and wait for a moment when I have the capacity to explore them. Then, when I find myself with ample amounts of moments with little to no distractions, I just sit there and go all catatonic.
I’ve tried everything from putting on music to just going to a quiet place and organize my mental schedule and the brain just locks up like an engine void of oil.
I try to do my best to put out three posts a week and sometimes I phone them in, I mean seriously, do you really care about Jar Jar Binks or Return of the Jedi that much that you would applaud my efforts to expound on their impact on pop culture? The fact that I just typed out that statement with a straight face shows I need help. Let’s face it, for someone who wanted/wants to be a writer, I’m dropping the ball on quality.
The three post a week rule was more for me than anyone else. I’m trying to stave off a stagnated mind and enhance what little skills I have left, if I ever had them to start. I’m not saying that the views I get from day to day are anything to laugh at. Readership, or at least views of the blog, has increased but sooner or later, Cousin Oliver is going to kill the ratings here. Cousin Oliver being my inability to come up with something good to write about it.
The easy answer is that I’m trying too hard. I know that seems laughable when you continue read, what is now, six paragraphs of shit. I mean “trying too hard” in that I’m trying to force magic. I’m trying to produce something to hit a deadline. I’m throwing away quality in favor of quantity. Post, post, post or the readers will go away, right? But when you have little time to write because you have a family and a full time job along with a part time job that feels like a full time job you begin to think that maybe pulling the plug is the best option.
Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. It’s OK. I know you just feigned shock and sadness at the prospect that the least read blog in the world was going to call it quits like Amanda Bynes or more like Brett Favre. Truth is, I want to write. Sometimes I feel like if this was a full time gig I’d find better topics and more inspiration instead of scuttling it to the back of brain and telling it to wait a moment. Sort of like telling that to a child who wants to you inform you of some huge important deal like the puppy just licked his nose.
I guess that’s enough for Monday. I guess that’s a post. I’ll take it, for now. Tomorrow is another day.
Does that ever happen to you? There are times when I have so many ideas in my head just waiting to burst forth, like Athena ready for battle, and I find myself inundated with other tasks that I cannot get the voices to be quiet and wait for a moment when I have the capacity to explore them. Then, when I find myself with ample amounts of moments with little to no distractions, I just sit there and go all catatonic.
I’ve tried everything from putting on music to just going to a quiet place and organize my mental schedule and the brain just locks up like an engine void of oil.
I try to do my best to put out three posts a week and sometimes I phone them in, I mean seriously, do you really care about Jar Jar Binks or Return of the Jedi that much that you would applaud my efforts to expound on their impact on pop culture? The fact that I just typed out that statement with a straight face shows I need help. Let’s face it, for someone who wanted/wants to be a writer, I’m dropping the ball on quality.
The three post a week rule was more for me than anyone else. I’m trying to stave off a stagnated mind and enhance what little skills I have left, if I ever had them to start. I’m not saying that the views I get from day to day are anything to laugh at. Readership, or at least views of the blog, has increased but sooner or later, Cousin Oliver is going to kill the ratings here. Cousin Oliver being my inability to come up with something good to write about it.
The easy answer is that I’m trying too hard. I know that seems laughable when you continue read, what is now, six paragraphs of shit. I mean “trying too hard” in that I’m trying to force magic. I’m trying to produce something to hit a deadline. I’m throwing away quality in favor of quantity. Post, post, post or the readers will go away, right? But when you have little time to write because you have a family and a full time job along with a part time job that feels like a full time job you begin to think that maybe pulling the plug is the best option.
Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere. It’s OK. I know you just feigned shock and sadness at the prospect that the least read blog in the world was going to call it quits like Amanda Bynes or more like Brett Favre. Truth is, I want to write. Sometimes I feel like if this was a full time gig I’d find better topics and more inspiration instead of scuttling it to the back of brain and telling it to wait a moment. Sort of like telling that to a child who wants to you inform you of some huge important deal like the puppy just licked his nose.
I guess that’s enough for Monday. I guess that’s a post. I’ll take it, for now. Tomorrow is another day.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Black and Gold Digger
He take my money. Well, I'm in need.
Yeah, it's a trifling ball club indeed.
Nutting's a Black and Gold Digger way over time
That digs on me.
Duke da bombSorry, Kanye, Imma let you finish but.... oh who am I kidding? Go away.
Even got Maholm
Can't believe X Nady and Freddie are gone.
Ahh, Spring Training. This is the time of year the last few diehard fans of the Pittsburgh Pirates love to see. Their love of the ball club is like Jeff Conaway’s love of pain killers. And they would be just as willing to throw themselves down the stairs of the Clemente Bridge to score some good seats to an afternoon game against Cincinnati Reds minor league team.
Now, last year the Bucs were able to get above .500 for the first time since 2007 but then April ended and so did that winning streak. They finished the season at .385 setting the record for the team with the most consecutive losing seasons in history, surpassing the Phillies record of 16 years. Hey, one more and that baby is legal.
And here’s an interesting statistic. The last time the Pirates had a winning season, which was back in 1992, they had a payroll for the players of $32 million. Guess what their payroll is for 2010… $36 million. Now 17 years ago, with that kind of cheddar they were able to afford Barry Bonds, Andy Van Slyke, Jose Lind, Orlando Merced, jay Bell, Tim Wakefield, and a young Lloyd McClendon. He played for four seasons in Pittsburgh and then managed for four seasons ten years later.
However, this year they have Zach Duke, Paul Maholm, Ryan Domut, and Andy LaRoche to pay so… wait $36 million. Oh, I thought there was a one in front of that number. No, that would have been the Chicago Cubs’ payroll. But with that big fat payroll the Battling Buccos were able to take down Manatee Community College. Take that 13th grade. I guess that pep talk that was given to the team is paying off in spades.
Look, we all know what is going to happen here, so why even get our hopes up. They will show some talent in Spring Training and perhaps win a few games in the Grapefruit League. They’ll come back to Pittsburgh and put on a great show and have some interesting promotions and giveaways. They’ll probably lose the home opener and then suddenly win three in a row and go up over .500. Then April will end and the real Pirates will show up. Yes, we’ll have some good players put on some impressive performances but the pitching staff will ultimately phone it in and by June we’ll be looking to trade our best players for some guy called Toby Named or we will be too busy watching the Penguins go for a fourth Stanley Cup to care. Meanwhile, Bob Nutting will be sitting in his office counting a big fat wad of cash infused by MLB profit sharing and by July. All that talk of dynasty won’t mean a damn thing once fair weather fans start migrating from the North Shore to St. Vincent’s. Soon, we’ll trade the last of our good players and we’ll slump into October as all the cool kids will be hanging out next door at Heinz Field. It’s the equivalent of sharing your birthday with a popular student and all your friends bail on the kick ass slumber party you planned because that kid has a Wii, a PS3, and all you have is an xBox 360.
18 years, 18 years, you've got season tix and they've been losing almost 18 years.This talk of dynasty is ridiculous. The Pirates already have a dynasty. It’s called 17 seasons, soon to be 18, of sucktitude. Instead of “We Will” our slogan should be “We Suck” or “Who Cares?” It’s such a shame when there’s more fan enthusiasm for a group of pierogies running down the first base line than there is when a Pirate breaks the outfield with a hard line drive and the go ahead run is trying to score. Bob Nutting doesn’t seem to realize that we all know he’s a crook. The team is profitable whether or not we win any games. You have a built in base from season ticket holders and then the highest performing teams give money to the lowest performing teams. Unfortunately, that money doesn’t always go to improving the club with better players. It probably goes to paying for snow making machines up at Seven Springs… and this year they can redirect that money back into Nutting’s pocket because of all that damn snow we got .
I know somebody payin' Nutting for one of his tix...
Look no amount of Facebook groups, petitions, public outcry, or collective holding of breaths is going to change what is happening. Nutting would be a fool to sell the team because he hasn’t quite reached that level of diminishing returns yet. It’s a profitable ball club that sucks but pays. Mario Lemieux and Mark Cuban are not going to step and help out. We have a better shot of selling to another market and being moved but the price won’t be right. So just sit back and watch the suckfest as it nears its 18th season and curse Barry Bonds and Sid Bream all you want. Welcome to Pittsburgh, Three Rivers and one drain called PNC Park. “We Will Indeed”
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