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Thursday, December 17, 2009

2009 D-Bag Awards

It’s getting close to the end of the year and here at M.A.M.S. we’d thought we’d look back at 2009 and see who was the biggest d-bag of all. When I say “we” I mean “me” and the voices in my head. 2009 was quite the year for d-baggery. Usually, in case like this, I would do a straightforward list. But I wanted to be a little different and thought it would be fun to pit these folks against each other for my amusement. The worst part about it is having to only choose 32 competitors. There were a lot more that I wanted to include but felt that the field would be too diluted.

The remaining few weeks of 2009 are filled with retrospective lists of pop culture goodness. Unfortunately, to compete with everyone else, the demand for supremacy ultimately causes some list makers to miss out on crucial proponents of their topic that occur after press time. I have been planning a list of the biggest d-bags of 2009 and had hoped to publish them before the end of the year but had I done so I would have missed out on one of the biggest stories of the year. So, I waited and tried to gather more research in order to bring you a more complete list. Unfortunately, this project comes right at the busiest time, the holidays.

I had such hopes to do something exciting and different with this post. I had it all planned out as a March Madness style tournament that would bring matchups between nominees based on their area of d-baggery using bracketology. I just don’t have the time to be that creative and the scope of this project is way beyond me, so let’s just do this as simple as possible. So, here are the list of nominations in their matches. We’ll go from there.

D-Bag Dogs
  1. Tiger Woods
  2. Charles Barkley
  3. David Letterman
  4. Steve Phillips

D-Bag Dads

  1. Jon Gosselin
  2. Richard Heene
  3. John Phillips
  4. Roman Polanski
Deadly D-Bags
  1. H1N1
  2. Salmonella
  3. Death
  4. Conrad Murray
Political D-Bags
  1. Rod Blagojevich
  2. Sarah Palin
  3. Kim Jong Il
  4. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
  5. Mark Sanford
  6. John Edwards
A to D List D-Bags
  1. Lindsay Lohan
  2. Megan Fox
  3. Heidi and Spencer Pratt
  4. Ryan Jenkins
  5. Chris Brown
  6. Kanye West
  7. Chad Johnson
  8. Manny Ramirez

Million Dollar D-Bags

  1. Wall Street
  2. Auto Industry
  3. Fox
  4. NBC
  5. Raj Rajaratnam
  6. Bernie Madoff

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