This Parent's Perspective: Response to Nerdist On Retailers Selling M-Rated Games

Right off the bat, I am going to say this.  Your Mileage May Vary.   I am not your kid’s parent, and you are not my kid’s parent.  What I am about to say is going to totally misalign with your views and that’s OK.  This is merely the perspective, and really an opinion, on how I am raising my child who happens to love playing video games.

Last week, Nerdist: Play published a story about retailers’ selling M-Rated games to underage kids.  It talked about how the author watched a kid buy The Evil Within and how to deal with that occurrence.   The question asked was “Was there anybody in the wrong for what happened?” 

The response?

No. 

Why? 

Because parenting.

While I agree in the hypocrisy of saying a kid, today, shouldn’t be sold a game for which I clearly would have bought and played at a young age as well (circa 1987), I also have to say with complete awareness of how clichéd it sounds, “It was different in my day.”

Let’s flashback to the 80s when Atari and NES were the big names in video game consoles and look at this further.

As a young kid, I had a vivid imagination.  I knew there were no such things as monster under the bed or vampires or zombies, but my mind could certainly conjure up something more viscerally disturbing than anything Stephen King, Clive Barker, or even David Lynch could put on paper or screen.  Quite frankly, what you couldn’t see scared me more than what was actually shown.  I saw Poltergeist and Nightmare on Elm Street, The Exorcist, and Evil Dead 2 at a young age and those films scared the piss out of me.    Hell, the scenes in E.T. where the government scientists descend upon Elliot’s house were the stuff of mindmares when I returned home from the theater to a darkened house.   But, I survived.  I watched Die Hard in the theater and I was only 14 at the time.    So, while my imagination was overactive when it came to coming up with scare worthy thoughts, it didn’t spill out into the real world with me stringing up and torturing neighborhood animals or other children.  I did not become Ed Gein or Buffalo Bill.  Why?  Because my parents still had a grasp of what I was out doing and even though I did watch those scary movies… and *blush* I did sneak a Playboy or Hustler from another friend as well as rent low budget R Rated movies like Galactic Gigolo from my local video store when I couldn’t find something salacious on HBO at 2 in the morning.   I think I turned out fairly normal as an adult.   And, I have a 7 year old daughter who clearly shows signs of evil genius which means my parents failed me.   I was most likely going to follow their lead raising her.

Here’s the thing, though.   The amount of material available to me in the 80s is a far cry from what there is now.  Yeah, I did see my fair share of nudity, violence, and drug use on film and television and other media, but the level of “depravity”, as some would call it, were ridiculously tame compared to stuff today like The Human Centipede and The Evil Within.   Now, that’s not to say that the same genre of movies or video games were available in the 80s.   After all, I Spit Upon Your Grave was made in 1978.  Custer’s Revenge, an adult themed Atari 2600 game, was made in 1982.   The difference was that there was no real easy way for a child like me to get ahold of those items when I was a kid.  Furthermore, Custer’s Revenge, while a depiction of nudity and sex between a man and a woman was still rendered in all the glory of Atari graphics, so it’s laughable if not even recognizable.    

It was just a different time when we were preteens in the 80s.   It was a time when Married With Children, The Simpsons, and Beavis and Butthead were deemed too hot for TV.  The amount of jaw dropping luridness seen in those shows was about as shocking as an exposed ankle would be to someone in the 1970s.  This was only 30 years ago, people.  We now have Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead on television.   

That’s the difference.  Today’s level of realized creativity has exponentially multiplied as has the manner in which to depict it.   It would be no different than reading H.P. Lovecraft in the 60s.  So, I ask, which is worse, the imagined horror that had to be filled in with your brain reading Lovecraft, or seeing a depiction of his work on screen today?   The availability of that work is also mainstreamed.  The Internet has a wildfire mentality that has yet to be controlled and parents are still catching up to and combatting the circumnavigation of such restrictions over what their kids shouldn’t see.    My own daughter has accidentally rented movies OnDemand, albeit nothing bad.  Yet, I give a decent amount of leeway like my parents did.

When she was two years old, she faced the mortality of humankind when we lost her grandmother to a brain hemorrhage.   There was such a close bond and we didn’t sugarcoat the information.  She saw her in the hospital, hooked up to life support.  She watched her go through chemotherapy the past year.  She was well aware of the world of doctors and illness and what can and may very well happen to others she loves.    Shortly after that ordeal she became very interested in fact that her grandfather and I would play video games to pass the time (Keep him busy).  And, because it was such an easy controller, we played the Wii.  Titles ranged from Call of Duty to Big Game Hunter to, yes, House of the Dead 2 and 3.  And my own kid sat there and watched us play it.   She was fascinated by it, not scared.   One day, I had flipped to Comedy Central and Ghostbusters came on.  She immediately latched onto it and enjoyed it.   She became a huge fan and I decided to use it as a teaching moment about the difference between reality and fiction.  I grabbed my DVDs and we watched the behind the scenes stuff as well.  She watched how they made the ghosts.    I simultaneously demystified the movie magic I so adored as a child in the hopes that she could understand that these things were entertainment and not scary.    She enjoyed a lot of my movies from childhood.  She loved dinosaurs, so we watched Jurassic Park and The Lost World.   Clearly the child could differentiate between movies and real life.  She had an understanding of what was going on and it neither scared her nor scarred her.  She saw me playing Minecraft and loved the creativity.  She just started playing Fallout 3.   She keeps bugging me to get Skyrim.  She has joined me in creating videos on YouTube and solo played.   She has a knack for entertainment and humor that I never had at her age.   She’s hilarious.   Like I said, my parents ruined me. 

But I do monitor what she does, to a point.   I won’t let her watch me play Grand Theft Auto, at least with the sound up.  Then again, the subtitles don’t help so I am careful.  I won’t play Last of Us in front of her.  I won’t let her watch The Walking Dead or play other games that I feel may be too close to realistic depictions of violence or gore because I know she has that same level of imagination that I had.  I recently played Gone Home, which I realize has no scary imagery in it, but it does unsettle me every time I hear a noise in the game.    So, I pick and choose which level of stimulation she is exposed to.  And, like the video from Nerdist says, even if Target doesn’t sell the kid the game, they can go watch a walk through of The Evil Within on YouTube with full gore and burning children.  How is it any different?  

Should the retailers care about selling M-Rated titles to underage kids?   Yes, they should.  I know.  It’s the parents’ responsibility to police their child’s actions concerning such items.  Well, should a bartender serve a child alcohol simply because it’s not their responsibility to police the child?  Should a 7-11 sell them a Playboy or a pack of cigarettes?  No.   And I’m not cool with retailers selling my kid M-Rated games.    While it’s not their job to police my child, it is their responsibility to not contribute to the delinquency of a minor.    If I so deem it acceptable for my kid to play a game that is M-Rated, then I will buy it for them.  And while I don’t necessarily agree with the rating system for movies and video games, I will make the final call for the time being, because I am the parent.  The Evil Within may be 13+, at best, I don’t know.  Kids today can handle a different amount of that kind of stimulation than in the 80s.   Would I be pissed if Target sold my kid an M-Rated game?  Yes, in theory, but probably not, depending on the game.  I would make sure I found out why it was M-Rate before my kid got deep into it. 

As a parent, I am the first and last line of defense when it comes to my kid’s wellbeing and I am doing what I can to educate and prepare her in that sense.  We have far too many more things out there that can harm.  They are more widespread and more easily attainable than when I was a kid.    This level technology that has exploded in the past 20 years is simply moving faster than we are.  We did not prepare ourselves when it dropped into our laps.  Sometimes I think we opened a Pandora’s Box of issues when the Internet became available but there’s no way to stop it.    However, there does need to be a buffer in place to handle the little things.    Every little bit helps.   To be overly sensitive about it helps no one.   Being a douchebag about censorship is just as bad as being one about freedoms and civil liberties.     In the end, you are the one that has to deal with the Fallout.

WUMF: June 2013 Edition

Another month, another WUMF

Obligatory YouTube update

So, far, I’ve made a whopping $1.55   YAY!  

At this point, I am spending more money than I am making on the effort.   I am still working to pinpoint what I can do to increase traffic, outside of spending more money.    Is my presence on YouTube unknown?  Does my content suck?  Am I just not doing anything interesting?   Not sure.  As a YouTuber, or potential YouTuber, your mileage may vary.    

My videos with the most views were ones where I was unable to play a game due to technical issues with recording the video and what sucks is I spent $50 on a game I can’t record.  Which, had I know I couldn’t record it, I wouldn’t have bought it for Windows.  Granted, we’re still only talking 2000+ views. 

I enjoy playing video games and I like to have fun.  Maybe people don’t want to listen to me talk while I play.  Maybe I should focus on just presenting game play.   Yet, if I just produce the content and don’t inject personality into it, is there a point?  I’d basically be making money off of other’s work.    I wouldn’t be bringing anything new to the table.   What I need is some objective opinions about my work… but that means views.  You know what that means?  It’s a pity party and I want you all to come commiserate with me.

The Birds

Not one, not two, but four birds tried to commit suicide in front of my car this morning.  What the hell?  Not to mention, yesterday, on the way to dinner, I nearly saw one bite it on the front end of a truck at an intersection.

Why do they insist on hanging out on the roads or flying low.  THEY HAVE WINGS, GODAMMIT!  They can fly higher than the telephone wires.  They don’t need to be doing Death Star trench runs on PA highways.

Last of Us

OK, I think I know my YouTube problem.  I suck at games.  This is probably one of the most anticipated games this year and I’ve played all of 15 minutes of it.  Furthermore, I dropped $100 on a video capture device to record PS3 play but I can’t do stealth worth a damn.   At one point, I actually picked up a bottle and chucked it at a guy’s head by accident.   The game is also very slow to start, disguising the early action as a tutorial.  

However, my game time is limited because my kid has been up later due to it being summer.   When she goes to bed, I’m ready to go, too.  

Cabin in the Woods

I was hesitant to want to watch this because I didn’t think I would like it.   First of all, the trailer gave away the basic plot, which was a bit disappointing.  I usually would kill to see anything Wheddonesque but I was a not feeling this.  Then I went and spoiled the rest of the movie by reading the plot.

I found the answer though.  Watch this in a group… on someone’s back porch during Summer… while drinking alcohol.   It was a great time and I enjoyed the film.  It redeemed itself because it wasn’t trying to disguise itself as a horror movie.  It was an open faced cliché.   The fact that I could pick out so many references and a few that almost slipped by was hilarious.

WUMF: December Edition

Another year has ended and once again, I bring you WUMF!

I had planned on having this in on New Year's Eve, but unfortunately forces were working against me.

Guards On Slicers Not Just Suggestions
I said forces were working against me.   My wife got a new Slicer/Chopper for Christmas and decided to bust it out in order to cook up New Year's Eve dinner for midnight.  It's called a Genius chopper and apparently, we were unqualified to operate it. 

My wife said, "Well how do I get the onions to be slivers for the pierogis?"  I said, "Look, it's simple."  I added in the slicer attachment and then proceeded to slice up an onion and then a small chunk of my finger.  "Way to go, dumbass."  It was just a little bit, not even noteworthy.  So, I said, "Well, that's why you use the guard.  You stick it on the onion and slide it back and forth."

As I went into the bathroom to get a bandage for my finger I hear, "OW!" and then some four letter word.  "What happened, genius?"  Turns out, my wife couldn't stand to be showed up by me and took an even bigger chunk out of her right ring finger.  We couldn't get it to stop bleeding.  We tried everything.  At one point, I thought we were going to end up at the ER, which is typical for us around the holidays.  Most people use the holidays to get together with family and enjoy the company and the event.  We use it as an excuse to try and max out our medical deductible. 

Well, my father-in-law came over and was able to properly dress her finger, cause I left with a light bulb looking bandage which quickly soaked up a lot of blood.  After she was settled down, the festivities needed to continue, so, the second string came in to cook the food and get everything ready.  That would be me.  I should have tried harder to get out of work. 

Christmas
My kid's fourth Christmas was apparently her 14th.  This year she sat among the boxes and made two piles of gifts.  I asked her what each pile was.  She said, "One is the presents I wanted and the other is stuff I didn't want."  I asked her which was which.  She said that the one with the toys was the pile she really wanted.  She then proceeded to say, "See, Daddy.  Even when I'm bad I get presents.

Work
As I close in on a full year at my new job, it's hard to realize that it has been a full year.  I left nearly ten years of service, over three weeks of vacation and a lot of friends.  And you know what?  It was the right decision.  Even though there are challenges in my new job, some good, some bad, I know that it was time for me to go.  Not saying why, just that my later mother-in-law would have approved of the change.

WDVE shakeup
WTF?!?  Last year, Randy Baumann suddenly disappeared from the morning show.  He was brought back about a month later.  Now, Jim Krenn, who has been the long time morning show host, has disappeared from the air since December 6th.  No word on why or if he'll be back.  There isn't a contract to be negotiated and even though I only get to listen to about an hour of the show, I've noticed that Krenn hasn't been on between 6 and 7am all year.  The running gag was always that Jim only works two weeks out of the year, so speculation is only set to run wild.  

In the long run money is probably a factor here.  Money and ratings.   Regardless, if he is gone, it's a big change to morning radio for me.  I was a bit uneasy about Randy Baumann taking over for Scott Paulsen 12 years ago but I've adjusted to it.  I don't know if it will be the same here.

Free Time
For Christmas I got Uncharted 3, Dead Island, and Call of Duty MW3.  The only thing I forgot to ask Santa for was free time.  I've been playing Dead Island and it's pretty sweet and sometimes a tad unsettling.  Most of the zombies are Romero speed but the Infected, as they are called are more like Zack Snyder or Danny Boyle speed zombies.   In fact, there are a tons of pop culture nods to all things zombies and other stuff.  One sign painted on a wall says, "Don't Open.  Dead Inside"   At another point, the main character has to go look for a crashed plane from Oceanic Air, a nod to lost.    It's fun and sick and gory and I'm finding it hard to do anything else, like cook New Year's dinner because my wife sliced up her finger.  lol.

Happy New Year!

Pop Culture Catch Up

I'm a bit behind on my movie viewing, television watching, and video game playing.   As I've gotten older the time I would spend just watching a movie or playing a video game has diminished.  That's not exactly true, I've got my father-in-law playing the Wii and we spend nearly every night playing House of the Dead 2 & 3 or any number of Cabela's hunting games.  But, actual playing of my own games is diminished.  That's partially from the fact that games, anymore, are very complex and in depth and take forever to finish.  At least they do for me.   In any case, here's a smattering of what I've caught up on or have yet to tackle.

Movies
I have yet to see the following:
Zombieland
Adventureland
Iron Man 1 or 2
The Hangover
Up
Avatar
and various other big name films that came out in the last five years. 

I will say that I did get to see Wall-E for the first time, yesterday, although I haven't finished it yet.   So far, I love it.  What an awesome performance by a robot that was animated.   There should some kind of award for that.  I also did watch Reign of Fire, which is eight years old but wasn't bad.  I was expecting it to be a lot worse.  I've also been watching a bunch of movies I've seen thousands of times.   Last weekend on ABC Family they ran The Goonies along with all the Harry Potter movies up to Order Of the Phoenix.  I've also been watching a lot of old school James Bond like On Her Majesty's Secret Service, You Only Live Twice, and Goldfinger.

Television
I scuttled the half of last season's Desperate Housewives and all of Grey's Anatomy due to the lack of time or interest in watching them.  I am still sifting through last season's Castle and would like to get through Bones.  Normally, I would watch these with my wife, but she's been too busy reading..  nerd.   Love You...   Hell, we haven't even watched the season finale of Glee, so don't ruin it for me.  I always wanted to watch Stargate Atlantis, but didn't have Sci-Fi Syfy when it first aired.  I was playing catchup with Stargate SG-1 on UPN which was a season or two behind Showtime and totally missed out on Battlestar Galactica because of Comcast dropping Syfy from the regular extended cable package right after the mini-series.  Oddly enough, I was all caught up on Flashforward and Doll House and they got cancelled.    The only thing I regular keep on now is Burn Notice which I love. Go Team Axe!  I've also been watching old reruns of South Park on the local stations, late at night.  Right now, the ole DVR capacity is still at around 90% full.  HAH.  I better hop to it before everything starts back up for the Fall.

Video Games
Like I said, I spend most of game playing on the Wii and don't spend a lot of time on games other than House of the Dead 2 & 3 and Cabela stuff.   I even bought the new Super Mario Bros. and have barely touched it.   For my PS3, I finally finished Fallout 3 and the broken steel add on, after picking it up in March.  I know, the game came out in 2008.  Guess what, I still haven't finished Grand Theft Auto 4, Mercenaries 2, or Little Big Planet.   I did manage to get through Uncharted 1 and 2 this year thanks to a friend loaning it to me.   Loved those games.  I would like to check out the other Lego games like Harry Potter and Batman, but I just don't have time.   Not to mention there's Resident Evil 5 and I was told I need to go back and play God of War 1, 2 and 3

I should be ashamed of myself for missing out on the last eight years of stuff.  I've kept up through research and news but the actual sitting down and watching or playing these things has gone from my things to do list.   The only good thing I can look forward to is reintroducing a lot of my favorites to my kid.  She loved watching the original Star Wars movies and The Goonies.  I may have to vicariously live through her.   She isn't too bad at the golfing portion in Wii Sports and she's only three.

Picture Pop Quiz

Please choose the correct description for the following picture.

1. Sony’s new Playstation Move motion-sensing controller
2. A Marital Aid
3. Hi-Tech Roll-on Deodorant from AXE
4. Bad product design

The correct answer is (A) but we would have also accepted "Late in the game attempt to best Nintendo with a goofy looking knock off of the Wiimote."

The Action Hero Respawned

A lone hero against almost insurmountable odds. Slim chances of survival. A constant barrage of bad guys with big guns and unlimited ammo. These are the makings of an action movie from my childhood. After Star Wars allowed the Science Fiction genre to make the jump to hyperspace, George Lucas and Stephen Spielberg set their sights on terra firma and the old days of the Republic Serials. Instead of robots with lasers, Nazis with lugers were the bad guys. A treasure with biblical ramifications was the MacGuffin if you will, or plot device that grabs your attention, pulled you along the story towards its conclusion.

Regardless of the plot or other devices like Big Dumb Objects and Alien Space Bats (look them up), Raiders of the Lost Ark and the rest of the Indiana Jones movies, save the last one, all had one distinguishing feature that changed the action adventure genre, the not so good, good guy. After all, Indiana Jones was labeled a tomb robber and he didn’t exactly wear a white hat. His neutralities aren’t explicit but he’s willing to not give a shit about someone if it doesn’t figure into his plan. He even grabs one women by the throat and threatens to choke her. He does however, take umbrage at child abuse and slavery in the second film. Yet, for his lack of true north on a moral compass, Indiana Jones also possesses a sense of wry humor and mortality. Something that went away with the Schwarzenegger and Stallone action heroes, who never show pain and never run out of ammo. Jones was an ordinary Joe in extraordinary situations and he never missed an opportunity to make light of his human faults. He could bleed and be hurt and took note of how much he was at times, “It’s not the years, it’s the mileage.”

If Indiana Jones was the hero of childhood, then the high school and college crowd could identify with characters like Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon and John McClane in Die Hard. They were still ordinary people in ordinary professions, namely police officers who became embroiled in extraordinary scenarios that tested their mettle. They were also flawed. Riggs was semi suicidal over the death of his wife and somewhat crazy. McClane had a problem with authority and had bad habits like smoking and drinking, which Riggs also did. Riggs and McClane represented a more noir style of hero, a sort of detective with vices that doesn’t always get to be the hero and doesn’t always save people. Still, what made them similar to Indiana Jones was their ability to make light of their shortcomings and take a punch. They also talked and said things during a fight that was more realistic than just getting hit and hitting back. McClane taunted his gargantuan opponent in Die Hard, “You should have heard your brother squeal when I broke his f**king neck.”

But multiple sequels diluted the brand and extensive copycats killed the genre of the thinking man’s action hero. The 21st century ushered in a new crop of action heroes with Rick O’Connell from The Mummy franchise and Ben Gates from National Treasure's. While O’Connell was more for blowing away his opponents, Ben Gates rarely, if ever uses a weapon to settle differences. Still, the idea that a quirky action hero with faults and idiosyncrasies helped humanize the character and made him more relatable to audiences of Americans who watch while gulping down buttered popcorn, sugary soda, and milk duds. Soon, however, the history was neglected and the same old problems caused the franchises to sink into the abyss of repetition, over exposure, and disbelief of premise, even if the premise was supernatural in nature. Speaking of O’Connell, another action star was born out of the sequel. Dwayne Johnson was poised to take the baton of blockbuster action hero and the passing was sort of even acknowledged in The Rundown in which Arnold Schwarzenegger makes a cameo. “Have fun” was his only line and was said in passing of Johnson.

Yet, after three action films, Johnson didn’t quite capture the same amount of street cred as an action hero like Stallone and Schwarzenegger. He was very well spoken and articulate and had the opportunity to make the landscape of Hollywood his playground. Instead he chose to be more conscious of “the brand” and took to more kiddie and family fair with films like The Game Plan, Race To Witch Mountain, and The Tooth Fairy. It certainly has been more profitable for him. If you compare his family films which show a gross revenue of more than $661 million vs. his action films which show only a bit more than $287 million in gross revenue sales. If you like, you can add the $443 or so million from The Mummy Returns despite him only being on screen for a few minutes. The end was more CGI then actual acting and that is why I removed it. I will not discount that his presence helped attract more viewers but he certainly was not top billed.

With the role of the action hero being more about personality over physicality, the chance for stars like Christian Bale, Matt Damon and Daniel Craig came about and in 2008 the hopes that a familiar man with the not so white hat would save the landscape of action adventure films without the need for pirates or mutant powers, or a batmobile. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull promised to return the fanman back to the fanboy status he so nostalgically waxed on message boards and blogs. However, the film was a shame. While it’s kind of neat to see a hero or protagonist find himself in over his head physically, the action side of Indiana Jones seemed more akin to braving the crowds at a Bob Evans on a Sunday after church. Hey, it’s hard for the young folk, too. Still, we were promised a return to the golden age of 80’s geekfare. CGI was supposed to be reserved for some background images and other things but it was clear that old school SFX trickery was not in use. Although, the aliens looked rather cheesy like their 1950s counterparts but I can’t decide if that was intentional or just a bad batch of interns at Lucasfilm.

But what should have been realized by Hollywood was that a new brand of action hero was being reborn… er respawned into existence. This one was shorter than the rest and even wasn’t even all that real, but he managed to make huge waves, in my opinion, among the troubled waters of the Hollywood Action Hero. That hero is Nathan Drake and the film isn't a film.  It's a video game series for the Playstation 3 called Uncharted.

Until 2007, the Playstation mascot was pretty much whoever was the leading protagonist of the currently released Grand Theft Auto title. However, a full year before Indiana Jones dusted off the fedora, Nathan Drake hit the shelves in Uncharted: Drakes Fortune. Sadly, I did not pick up the game and resisted it from the outset. I downloaded the demo and found the controls harder than normal, especially using grenades. The demo contained one of the most frustrating levels which involved being pinned down in a jungle setting among what looked to be like a courtyard ruins. It is nearly impossible, for me anyway, to complete that section without running out of ammo, which leads me to run headlong into the fray to duke it out with a baddie to get his gun. Because of that demo, I pretty much stayed away from the game for nearly three years. Boy, was I missing out.

It’s kind of fitting though, because had I actually played the whole game before seeing Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, I would have probably imploded. Taking a few years to shrug off the damage to my childhood perpetrated by Spielberg and Lucas I was able to come back around and get into Uncharted. If you haven’t played it or the sequel you are missing out on what are probably the greatest action movies not on film or television.

The hero, a supposed descendant of Sir Francis Drake has all the faults and quirks that had embodied Indiana Jones, John McClane, and Martin Riggs. He’s a lovable jerk who can run and gun and still be a dick to people with a smile. Game play notwithstanding, the true treasure of this series is the script and cut scenes. The acting and motion capture of the characters is a near perfect facsimile of real life. Nolan North, whose name sounds almost like an action hero, gives Drake a sense of humor and humility. The guy goes throw so much crap and gets hurt, a lot, but still has the balls to call someone an asshole. The catchphrases are not catchphrases here. There’s no, “Hasta La Vista” or “Yippie Kay Yay” to cling to, just, “Keep smiling asshole” and “ Oh, crap.” And it’s not like he’s some piece of beefcake to entice girl gamers like Lara Croft was to guys. He has not extraordinary features and has a typical look but it’s the personality that makes him so likeable.

I spent a week on Uncharted and a week on Uncharted 2, all of which will be drooled over by me in an upcoming post. I While I made it a point to try and collect ever single bauble on screen in part one, I’ve completely forgotten about picking up treasures because I’m so engaged by the action. Now, I’m not just talking about the actual game play. I’m speaking about the integration of cinematics and cut scenes into the story. It all flows seamlessly. To use an example, in games like Grand Theft Auto, which I also love, you have an open world. You travel from place to place and do missions. Each mission starts with a cut scene or setup and then it switches back to actual game play. In Uncharted, you could be walking along and then a tank just bursts through a wall at you or a bridge gives way and you suddenly surrender control of the game to this second or two of action and then you are back to running and it all happens without loading or cutting away of the action. Naughty Dog found a way to tie actual game play to storyline without sacrificing atmosphere and commitment from the player. The timing does not skip a beat. You feel like you are playing a movie more than a game because of the constant interplay of movies and NPC action that pushes the character along. Not to mention, the storyline is compelling and the acting is top notch.

Take note Hollywood, Naughty Dog has succeeded where you have severely failed in bringing back the action hero. Unfortunately, there is talks for a movie in the works which can only mean epic fail is on the horizon for the newly crowned king of the action hero genre. Talks are still early and hopefully Uwe Boll will be nowhere near this project lest it suck more than it probably will. Looking at what happened to the reigning queen of action video games, Lara Croft, when she was put into two lackluster films, I’d hate to see how bad Hollywood could screw this up.

Of course, you’ll have to get someone into the role of Nathan Drake and I fear the usual Hollywood machine will try to turn this film out with Bradley Cooper, Matthew McConaughey, Gerard Butler, or Ryan Reynolds taking the lead role. Might I make a suggestion? If you’re going to do it, why not use the guy who created the character, Nolan North. He kind of has the look of Drake in the game and after all, it was his physical form that was used to model the character using motion capture suits. He definitely has the acting chops for the dialogue and given the proper weight and free climbing training he could totally pull it off.

Sadly, I know this will not be the case. The only other acceptable substitution could be that of Nathan Fillion. He actually happens to be a year younger than North. Eddie Cibrian has the facial look, Josh Duhamel has the physique but truthfully, I think Nolan North should be the only real choice for the film. I think from a game fan standpoint you appease a huge concern over a movie being made not to mention those unfamiliar with the film will be drawn in by the everyman appeal of a virtually unknown actor except those trained to pick up his voice from other video games. I also feel the inclusion of a bunch of lesser known actors would do wonders for its credibility among the other game to film projects. Once again, can we say Tomb Raider and Doom?

Then again, to pull this off would be nothing short of an action hero’s regular day. The odds of success are against you. The amount of bad guys in Hollywood coming at you with all kinds of unlimited crap. Slim chances of survival at the box office. Sounds like the perfect scenario for Nathan Drake. Hail to the new king of Action Heroes. Have fun, but don’t get comfortable.

A Gremlin Lives In Malibu

HONK HONK HONK HONK

That’s what I hear out in my driveway.

HONK HONK HONK HONK

What the hell?

HONK HONK HONK HONK

That’s my car!

HONK HONK HONK HONK

I run out to my driveway to find the car horn repeatedly blaring and the lights flashing. There is no one around the 2005 Malibu Maxx, not a soul, and here it is, just convulsing in an audio/visual manner.

HONK HONK HONK HONK

I reach into my pocket and push the keyless entry button and everything stops. It’s the weirdest thing because I don’t have a car alarm. Now, there is a theft deterrent system by which tampering with the car can cause this to happen. It even has a system built in where if someone attempts to try and start the car with an unrecognized key, it shuts down the fuel pump. But there is no one around the vehicle. Sometimes, I will find a stray cat sleeping on the hood of the car when it’s been recently run, but the car has just been sitting in the driveway all day.

After a complete checkout of the car, I go back inside and continue my latest obsession, PAIN, for the PS3. This totally addictive game has got me flinging David Hasselhoff all over amusement parks, city blocks, and fictional movie studio back lots. It has really no point other than using the hoff’s body as a source of bodily and architectural destruction. I mean I have wasted more hours on….

HONK HONK HONK HONK

WTF?!? (< - - txtspeak daily quota reached)

HONK HONK HONK HONK

Oh come on. I was just about to destroy half the city with a giant bowling ball.

HONK HONK HONK HONK

Again, I push the button on my key ring. This is ridiculous. Is someone messing with me? Does someone have an electronic device that is activating the car? OK, this is nuts. I’m just going to leave the car unlocked. Now, where was I? Oh yes, grabbing an old lady with a walker and throwing her into the subway…

HONK HONK HONK HONK

COME ON!

HONK HONK HONK HONK

Perhaps it’s my keys? I tend to stuff more items into my pocket than a chipmunk does food in his mouth. I can’t tell you how many times my cell phone has shut off, buzzed for no reason, or called my Mother-In-Law. Perhaps the buttons on my key ring are activating some kind of panic button. I once again push the button to leave the car unlocked and now my keys are nowhere near me.

HONK HONK HONK HONK

This is ridiculous.

Later that night, I worried about leaving the car unlocked in the driveway. While, I believe I live in a safe neighborhood, there have been reports in the past of thieves and attempted home invasions in the area. As I lie there, I slowly start to drift into that zone between sleep and awake where you feel far away from everything and your mind is on autopilot downloading the evenings dream playlist.

HONK HONK HONK HONK

Lights shining in the bedroom window and noises threatening to wake my daughter, my neighbors, and nearby communities. I scramble out of bed tripping over one cat and onside kicking another one trying to get to my keys tucked away in my pants on the floor in front of the bed.

HONK HONK HONK HONK

SHUT UP CAR!

The light show ceases and now I am fully awake. I lay my keys next to me on the nightstand and drift back to sleep.

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ

Morning already?

These events occur randomly throughout the next few days, and nights, and I have yet to figure out an explanation. Is it the key chain? Don’t know. I’ve already cycled through the internal options on security from RKE to PASSIVE and back to RKE. I would like to just disable the feature. My next attempt at determining a root cause is to remove the battery from my key chain and see if that stops it. If I’m wrong, not only will it keep happening, but I will probably have a broken key chain unable to stop it. The worst part is I am two weeks from the end of my smart buy lease and have yet to get any kind of refinancing numbers from GMAC or the dealership.

If this is a huge fix…I might have to consider turning it in at the end of the month.

Guess what? The battery trick didn't work. It happened while I was away from the car with my keys and now I can't get the buttons to work anymore.

HONK HONK HONK HONK

Damnit!

Grand Theft Auto: Vice Pity

This is a continuation of a previous entry entitled Grand Theft Auto 80010514.

Here's an update on my plight. When last I left you, intrepid reader, I had received word that SONY is going to have my PS3 brought in for repair. This past Tuesday, May 6th, 2008, I dropped my PS3 off at the UPS store with an overnight label provided by SONY. According to UPS they have received the unit and now the wait begins. Customer Service informed me that turnaround is usually 14 days. Since I did not actually purchase my PS3 in a retail outlet, I have concerns. I went through an Incentivized Freebie Website and gained enough referrals to have Transcendent Innovations buy me one. I included a copy of the slip that stated the price, the billing party, and my shipping address from Amazon.com, but I suspect that SONY will try and claim that this is not a warranty repair since I did not provide enough proof of purchase for them. The customer service rep on the phone did not have anything negative to say about this but then again, I don't think English was his first language. I contacted TraInn.org about getting a better copy of a proof of purchase but haven't received word yet. They have been excellent at fixing any issues I've had up until now, so I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt on this. It just goes to show you that keeping receipts is a good thing.

I've never had to deal with SONY customer service or repair for any issues before but I've heard horror stories. Unfortunately, I don't have any link proof. You'll have to do the work yourself on checking my story. However, close friends have passed along tales of replacement PS3's with refurbs that don't work, twice. There is a distinctive mark on the side of my PS3 that has been documented by me for quality assurance purposes. I also have written down the serial number and have taken copious pictures of my PS3 to ensure that they don't try and pull a fast one. My only problem is a digital camera flash tends to reflect off the shiny surface and it's hard to get good lighting in my house. Below are the pics. Hopefully, they won't find it too dusty to repair under warranty. Granted, my PS3 is nowhere near as dusty as the one in the infamous consumerist story, but you never know.

On the game front, Best Buy was super willing to accept my return of GTA IV for a gift card credit. I spoke to a supervisor there and he authorized the transaction and as of yesterday, I have a gift card in my possession. I have still not heard a reply from usa@rockstarsupport.com, which bothers me. Kotaku, the website that originally broke the news about the GTA IV freezing issues, listed a possible fix that came from Something Awful forums. It looks like neither party wants to accept full blame but here's an interesting coincidence. A coworker of mine was telling me how she is selling her Wii because her kids are so involved with the PS3. However, they had to return it for repair because something went wrong when her son did a system update. Their PS3 won't read discs, now. Sound familiar? Random issues are just that random, but this is two exact problems in the same office building. Cue Rod Serling.

As more information becomes available, I'll keep you informed. Until a solid fix comes out for what's been happening, I'll just hold onto my gift card and wait to repurchase GTA IV. The game has me frothing at the mouth but the issues have me steaming from the ears. I can only hope there is a fix in the near future. I can only play Vice City Stories for so much longer. Luckily, I had forgotten to finish it months ago, giving me a taste of GTA goodness. In addition, since I really didn't get to play GTA IV before it froze on me, I don't know what I'm missing, other than my PS3.

TIMELINE

4/29/08 Bought GTA IV
4/29/08 GTA IV Froze and Update 2.30 caused Disc Read Error 80010514 in PS3
4/29/08 Called SONY Customer Service, obtained Return Authorization
5/5/08 Received "coffin" shipping box and instructions
5/6/08 PS3 shipped overnight to Laredo, TX
5/7/08 PS3 arrived via UPS in Laredo, TX
5/7/08 Return Authorization now active in SONY's support site with the following message.

Status Date:
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
Status: The unit you are inquiring about was opened and assigned on 5/7/2008. Please allow 7-15 business days from the time we received your unit to complete your order not including shipping and handling time.

Grand Theft Auto 80010514

No, it's not a sequel title.  It's an ordeal.  Yesterday, like most avid gamers out there, I went and purchased a copy of GTA IV to be played on my PS3.  In true GTA fashion, I stood in the road, waited for a sports car to stop in front of me, and beat up the driver and stole his car.  Using nitro and the jump button I raced the back roads of Western Pennsylvania to my closest Best Buy outlet and without any substantial load time, I purchased my reserved copy and hightailed back to my safe house to play. 

I loaded the disc into the PS3 as if I was transporting a Faberge egg over the fault line at San Andreas.  After what seemed like a good five minutes of installation onto my hard drive I was ready to hit the streets of Liberty City.  Ok, here we, um, go, uh, where is the sound?  Why can't I control anything?  Hold up, everything stopped moving.  Ok, maybe I got a little anxious.  Let's reboot.  

Reboot.  Violins play.  Game is selected.  Rock Star logo appears....second logo appears. Credit screen starts up.....and where's the sound.  What the hell? 

Reboot.  Violins play.....firmware update required?  Ok, fine, update me.  Update starts, installation happens, 5%......10%.......38%........hold on....why did it reboot?

ERROR 80010514

What? What do you mean?  Ok, try again. 

ERROR 80010514

Let's try uninstalling GTA IV and reinstalling it.  Ok, delete game data.....delete save data.....Let's retry this.

Why isn't it reading my disc?  WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!  AGGGGGHHHH.  Switch to rocket launcher and find a Rhino, we're turning this place into The Wild Bunch!

Apparently, in my life it's either feast or famine.  Not only did I get hit with the freezing issue that has spread through GTA IV's launch like the instantaneous freezing scenes in The Day After Tomorrow, I also got nailed with the PS3's version of the Red Ring of Death known as the 80010514 error.  This error describes a condition we've all known to loathe as the dreaded Disc Read Error from the PS2.   After doing some research on this error, I've found loads of pages, blogs, support sites, and a bunch of Diggs on the subject.  However, calling Sony support they did not seem to know anything about the error.  Yet, when I returned to Best Buy, the supervisor I spoke to got a look of a "ball tapping" on his face when I rattled off that number.  Sony doesn't regard this?  Is that like Bigfoot in San Andreas?  For some reason Sony doesn't recognize this as a substantial error.  Yet, they are willing to bring my PS3 in for repair.....not replacement since they don't acknowledge the error, but everyone else does.  I've heard some horror stories about replacements and repairs as I have worked in a customer service setting for durable equipment.  However, I find it suspect that everyone and the brother has heard of this issue and Sony hasn't.  I'm just hoping that they don't decide that my PS3 is too dusty and my warranty is voided. 

What really gets my goat is that my PS3 will more than likely be out of commission longer than the exchange or refund period with Best Buy.  Since swapping a disc out at the retailer won't matter because my machine won't read it, I'd rather return the disc now for credit and await my PS3's return from repair and an answer from Rockstar as to what the hell is going to be done to rectify the issue.  As of Wednesday, nearly 24 hours from sending an email to usa@rockstarsupport.com, I have not received a reply.  They're either clueless or have been so inundated with emails regarding this that they can't get to mine.

I'll keep you informed on both counts.  Frankly, I can't believe I had the luck of the draw on getting both these problems on the same day......Of course; I just got a summons for Jury Duty over the weekend.   I wish there was a cheat code that could get rid of that.

For more posts on my love of video games, check out the five part series entitled All Your Free Time Are Belong To Us

A Zombie, a Hooker, and Tiger Woods walk into a bar.

Part Four of a Series entitled All Your Free Time Are Belong To Us

In this, my fourth entry on how I've found ways to waste time and money, I've decided to condense the Fifth through Seventh generation consoles into one entry.

Around 1995, I was just beginning to get ahead of the curve in college. I spent my first semester at Coastal Carolina University which offered beaches and parties always at an arm's length. While, I may have had my share of wild nights, I did manage to land on the Dean's list that first and only semester of enrollment. For whatever reason, I decided to transfer from a institution that had 5000 students enrolled to one that had just around five times that amount. To say, I experienced a little culture shock is an understatement. I wound up sliding into academic probation and had to dig myself out over the next four and a half years, just to graduate with a B average.

While on that road to redemption I met and befriended a man by the name of Ray. He and I were both active in the Theatre Department. Discounting the fact that Ray was not a Theatre major, he was a hell of an actor and all around show man. Hailing from the Philadelphia area, he fronted a band called Open Cage which, like so many other great bands, never got its just deserts. Perhaps it was by design. Maybe they didn't want the success of their 90's counterparts. Regardless of their success, Ray once again, proved that there was more than meets the eye with him. As much as Ray could act, the man could sing as well, if not better. He lived in the Litchfield Towers until graduation, as did I, and along with another friend, Jeff, we burned the midnight oil on his Sony Playstation.

Until this point, my experience with gaming consisted of five consoles, the Atari, ColecoVision, Intellivision, NES, and Sega Genesis. I also spent time gaming on a computer but until that point, my biggest accomplishment was staying up all night in a campus computer lab playing Doom II. Ray, who lived one floor below me was in one of my classes, a real doozy called Magic, Medicine, and Science. It was taught by this George Plimpton-sequel sounding professor with some sort of tic that caused him to continually tug at his shirt as he spouted off about Saturn being a cube. I don't know. It had something to do with Kepler and Play-Doh. Don't ask.

While, I can't remember which planet was a dodecahedron or a tetrahedron, I do remember going down to Ray's room to study for one of our loopy tests. When I entered his room, I saw it, the Sony Playstation. Immediately, the books took a backseat to gaming. Who needs cubes or octahedrons when you have triangle and circle buttons controlling your every move. Shortly thereafter, Jeff came knocking and the three of us settled into position to tackle Sony's new escape from reality.

In the past, gaming had been more about racing each other or bashing each other on screen, the Playstation offered us one player titles with multi player roles. Ray manned the controls while Jeff navigated keeping maps of the areas we had already conquered. I was given the moniker of Chief Science Officer responsible for coming up with solutions to problems we faced such as puzzles in a game. In one particular instance we had been racking our brains over a newly acquired bow and arrow in Kings Field. Jeff and Ray went round and round on how to operate this thing. Every button Ray pushed would simply drop an arrow right off the front, wasting it. Out of nowhere, I suggested holding down the button as if to pull the bow string back. Voila! Now we could take out pesky guards and monsters from a distance.

That's how it went for a few weeks. We'd find some obect like a key in the game, Jeff would remember that it went to a door way back on the other side of the map, and on occasion, I'd offer up some "outside the box" logic into how to solve something. One of our biggest freak-out moments came when Ray started playing Resident Evil. Up to then, my scariest gaming experience came from having the volume turned up way too loud while playing Friday the 13th on the NES. I walked into a cabin and Jason came out of nowhere. With the sound at a ear shattering level, his appearance brought with it a freakishly loud music cue that made me wet myself. Resident Evil offered the survival horror genre a shot or adrenaline. Granted, maneuvering through a darkly lit mansion littered with zombies with very little ammunition to defend yourself presented a challenge. However, nothing was as jaw dropping as walking back into the monster free mansion, recently cleared of zombies, only to find a new threat facing you. Because of the camera angles we could only hear the footsteps approaching. Just out of sight the menace lurked and then suddenly, the footsteps quickened and a hunter appeared. With a shrill scream, it leapt into the air and decapitated our protagonist in one fell swoop. The three of us let out a collective, "AAAAAHHHH!" as our headless Chris Redfield slumped to the floor and the blood stained words "YOU DIED" appeared on the screen. Ray quickly bought a game shark and we pretty much coasted through the rest of the game until May. Even with the game shark, the game was still hard to beat.

When Ray graduated, the Playstation was gone and I was forced to actually do homework the following semester While, I wasn't exactly what you would call a hardcore gamer, I did really miss the late night gaming sessions with my friends. During the summer of 1997 one of my roommates at Cedar Point owned one and once again, I was able to spend mindless hours hacking, slashing, and shooting my way through level after level of the two games he owned. After graduation I focused on getting a job, so that eventually I could buy my own Playstation and get to gaming. In 1999, I found a used Playstation at ebgames for $125 with the purchase of three games. I couldn't pass it up. Two of the purchased games were titles that we toiled over before Ray graduated. I bought a couple of sequel games and rented others at the local video stores, finishing most within the allotted rental period. What I didn't know was that the following year the Playstation would usurped by its sequel. As frugal or cheap that I am, I was unwilling to pay the $300 sticker price and would be content with my original model for two more years.

Around Christmas of 2002, I was still plugging away at my Playstation with gusto. Renting games from the local video store and finding those rare classics on eBay became a thrifty way to keep my free time occupied. But then, it happened. The one thing that would shake the death grip on my wallet and force me to buy a PS2 came to pass. It was the release of one of the greatest games of all time, Grand Theft Auto III. I was sitting in my townhouse, watching television, one night when the Puccini aria O Mio Bambino Caro came on in the background of the trailer for GTA III. I was mesmerized. "Must buy a PS2. Must kill hooker with taxi cab!" I looked at my current financial status and figured there was no way I was going to be able to afford one. It wasn't a necessity, although it felt like it was. There are more worthwhile things to spend money on than a game system. After all, I was beginning to get hints that maybe I should think about buying an engagement ring for my then girlfriend. If I walked in the door with a PS2, I'd be wearing it. Even at $199 in 2002, it was still beyond what I wanted to pay for it.

Trailer for Grand Theft Auto III

I turned to the one resource I could count on to make the decision for me, eBay. After searching through tons of listings for PS2s priced around $199 to $225 with games included. They were games that I could care less about, but still, if I was going to pay near retail price for a PS2, I'd rather buy new and rent games. Then, I found it. There was a slightly used model with two controllers for $130 with little time left on the auction. I stood ready to snipe the auction at the last minute, securing my buy at a minimal price. Within two weeks, my game system was tucked neatly and discreetly into my entertainment center and I was off to ebgames to find a used copy of GTA III. That was my deal. I never bought games at retail price, I always bought used. There was no sense in me paying $49.95 for a game when I could find a previously owned copy for half the price. Usually, with pre-owned games, you got a better guarantee from the store which would switch out copies if they became defective.

There I was, ready to be blown away by a 3D game environment that offered little in the way of a moral compass. I ran over pedestrians and fled cops with total abandonment, stunned at the freedom to explore and wreak havoc with no real consequences. You didn't die. You simply were wasted and appeared at a hospital with a little less money and all weapons removed. The same went for being "busted." Even though most heinous of offences were relegated to removal of weapons and chump change deducted from your funds. With the lack of accountability and linear progress, you could literally spend days just making money from legitimate means such as taxi, ambulance, and fire truck missions or you could take money and weapons from gang members, pedestrians, and prostitutes just by killing them with as little as a few punches. However, it was hard not to break some laws, albeit traffic and some pedestrian deaths, in order to accomplish the legitimate methods.

The influence of Grand Theft Auto III's open-ended game style and expansive 3D environment on gaming created a whole new realm of escapism for me with new titles copying and improving on the model. However, nothing compared to the original and as the third title in the GTA III era was released, I was prepared to pay retail price for a brand new copy. When Grand Theft Auto San Andreas hit the market in October of 2004, I waited only a month to buy it. I was newly married and had just returned from my honeymoon when I walked into Best Buy and plunked down $49.99 for it. My wife and I opted to give each other $50 as a wedding present and mine was gone before it was able to get a single crinkle in my pocket.

While, I continued to rent games every so often, I owned probably ten titles by 2007. My three biggest time wasters was The Grand Theft Auto, Star Wars Battlefront, and oddly enough Tiger Woods PGA Tour franchises. While not a big sports genre fan, I really got into golfing video games way back when NES Golf was one of the three games we had in my dorm room at Coastal Carolina University. During my second tour of duty at Cedar Point in 1997, we only had two games and one was a "pre" Tiger Woods PGA Tour golf game for the original Playstation. I had become a huge fan of Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2002 after renting it on a whim. While every year brought with it a new title, I still relied on my 2002 copy to keep me occupied, even though I had maxed out every skill and beaten the game more than twice.

As game consoles continued to become available during the Sixth Generation era, I resisted the temptation to add a new system to my collection. Dropping hundreds of dollars on a system that had mostly the same game offerings across platforms seemed like a silly waste of resources. I would rather max out the gaming potential of my PS2 without maxing out my wallet. By 2006, I was aware that a Playstation 3 was in the works but couldn't see myself getting in line at midnight to buy one when it hit the shelves. Besides, the nature of the beast is that a new system gets released within weeks, maybe months, all sorts of bugs and technical issues crop up. Sony was nothing if not predictable. I had to eventually replace my original PS2 with the slim model due to the "dreaded disc read error" problem and I lacked the ability to fix the system on my own after several tries. Technical glitches aside, I was also not ready to drop anywhere from $400 to $600 on a system when I was about to lose the one thing needed to play, free time. The PS3 hit the American market on November 17, 2006. This was two days after my wife informed me she was pregnant. The news shifted my priorities as well as my stomach, directly into my ass. When little Bailey was born in July, I had no time to catch up on my DVR recordings let alone play my Playstation 2 games. This was my version of the video game crash of 1983. Whereas in 1983, an overabundance of console choices and lack of programming quality within the market led to the decline of the industry, my overabundance of responsibilities and lack of free time led me to the decline of my gaming.

During the last half of 2007 I spent most of my time at home taking care of my daughter along with other household duties. I didn't adopt the more outdated lifestyle of husband and father where I brought home the paycheck and my wife took care of the house and kids. I was a full time dad from day one, knee deep in 2 AM feedings and dirty diapers. The few times I was able to watch television while holding my little girl led me to drool as much as she did. I was constantly taunted by the commercials for Grand Theft Auto IV, which was to be released by October. It was fate. Three years after the release of GTA San Andreas, I was being mocked by the game controller shaped carrot dangling in front of me. Again, I would be victim to the tail wagging the dog. I wanted to buy a whole new game system based on the release of one game. After some quick math and the appearance of moths in my wallet I was ready to give up the ghost. That is until I once again turned to my old stand by, eBay. Listing after listing auctioned the PS3 at $300 or more. Even worse was the availability of different systems based on hard drive storage left me scratching my head as to which was the better buy. Then, I found one listing stating that I could get the PS3 for free. Knowing full well there was a catch; I humored the seller and at least looked at his auction. He wasn't selling a PS3 at all. He simply stated that I could go to a website and get one for free. I didn't see the harm in looking, so I took a chance and clicked the link. I had heard about these types of websites before but always dismissed them as scams. Yet, here I was doing more and more research into the company that hosted the site. Incentivized Freebie Websites, as they were called, were able to provide rewards for completing certain requirements. With this particular PS3 site, all I had to do was try out a service like Blockbuster.com or Stamps.com for free, and then get 10 people to do the same using my unique referral link. Once that was completed, the parent company would take the money they received from the referral sign ups at the retailers and use it to send me a brand new game system. I started doing some simple advertising on bulletin boards and even eBay, which was considered illegal as it was spam, and eventually started to make some headway. After joining a couple of message boards I found people willing to do the sign ups. What I didn't find was that it was going to be free. Technically, it is considered free because you can sign up for a free trial and get 10 friends and family members as referrals. This isn't easy and it is highly improbable since most think it is a scam. I opted to pay people online a small amount for each referral. This sped up the process tremendously. October came and went and the release of GTA IV was pushed back to 2008. This gave me more time to get my referrals and allowed me to finally complete the process by Christmas. In all, I spent four months gathering referrals and shelled out a total of $100. That put me at 25% of the cost of store bought unit and $25 less than what I paid in 1999 for my original used Playstation. It was my best deal ever. It even got the honor of being the subject of my first ever blog post. The only drawback was that I ended up with a 40GB model which didn't have compatibility with my PS2 games and the release for GTA IV got pushed back again until the end of April. Still, I finding ample enough amount of playability with my PS3, downloading demos, blasting away Lego stormtroopers, and surfing the Internet right from my couch.

As I race headlong into my 30's with a daughter by my side, I am reminded at how when I was a kid I was a video game freak. I wonder if my child will embrace video games the way I did. If the future produces a son, perhaps he will, instead. Either way, I'm convinced that I will try and at least stay one step behind the current technology, always keeping a watchful eye on my pocketbook. By the time any child of mine is ready for college, I fear that I will be forced to buy an additional game system so that we can play together online. At the point, systems could run well over $1000 a piece and be made of some space age polymer instead of conventional materials. It's only going to be a topic of discussion, however, if my kid does well in school. While I don't want to pay $1000 for undeserved game system, something I'm sure my cheap nature will forbid, anyway, I don't want to give the child a reason to slack off in their studies. I felt the sting of being in a parent free zone in college and it was one of the factors that led my slide into the academic abyss for two semesters. I didn't have someone immediately available to ground or admonish me for my behavior. But, if I'm lucky and my kid does became a gamer like myself, I'll be able to frag them repeatedly in death matches if they get out of line. I don't care if they are 3000 miles away.

Mongo's Top 20 Games for Playstation 1-3
Again, I preface this like I did with the NES entry as I have never played any Final Fantasy games.

1. Grand Theft Auto series (PS2/PS3) What can I say about the series that you don't already know? The sole reason I've stayed with Sony.
2. Resident Evil series (PS1-PS3 titles) Survival Horror thy name is Zombies run amuck.
3. The Thing (PS2) Frightful and faithful to John Carpenter's movie, pretty much the closest thing to a sequel.
4. Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction (PS2) Lucasarts Grand Theft Panzer, awesome military 3D environment.
5. Star Wars Lego: Complete Saga (PS3) Nothing better than Star Wars Lego based death.
6. Kingsfield series (PS1/PS2) The series that began it all for me and Sony. Fully rendered 3D FPS environment.
7. Star Wars Battlefront II (PS2) 2 steps forward in game play but 1 step back with the loss of Bespin and Yavin levels. I still play part 1 for those.
8. Manhunt (PS2) Sick and twisted fun, another one of those games that has you playing with the lights on and the therapist on speed dial.
9. Tiger Woods 2002 (PS2) Still my favorite in the series despite the dated features.
10. Silent Hill Series (PS1/PS2) Where Resident Evil defined survival horror, Silent Hill removed the survival and just gave you the willies.
11. Monopoly (PS1) A Classic for a classic.
12. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (PS1) Downloading from the PS Network, I finally get to play this gem.
13. Resistance Fall of Man (PS3) Wow! just freaking wow!
14. Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (PS2) Where it all began for the Belmont Clan, makes up for Castlevania 64
15. Hi Octane (PS1) While I owned it for PC, the PS1 version had more levels. Great racing game. Thanks again, Ray
16. Simpsons Hit and Run (PS2) Grand Theft Homer. Fans of both GTA and The Simpsons will love it.
17. Evil Dead Fistfull of Boomstick (PS2) I love me some Ash. Even better with one liners and a boomstick.
18. Crash Bandicoot (PS1) One of the originals and still a great title
19. Uncharted (PS3) Tombraider meets Indiana Jones in a lush environment.
20. Midnight Club II (PS2) Fast and the Furious by design but great game play.

The 5 Worst I've played

1. Space Griffon (PS1) Lame, just the suckiest suckfest that ever did suck.
2. Resident Evil: Survivor (PS1) While I included the entire series at number 2, this FPS offering just doesn't live up to the genre
3. True Crime: Streets of LA (PS2) Tries to be GTA, ends up DOA. Too vast an environment and the bullet time feature is a rip off of Max Payne.
4. Grand Theft Auto Liberty City Stories (PS2 port) While I could never say enough good things about a Grand Theft Auto title, this one which was ported from the PSP did little to offer a new experience with the series. The music was subpar, voice actors were unknown, and all the game elements from San Andreas were now gone. Vice City Stories made up for this ten fold.
5. Tiger Woods 08 (PS3) Jury is still out on this as I am having considerable trouble with hooks and slices. The ability to use your own face for your player isn't the only lifelike feature. Mimics my real golf ability, I guess